Sunday, April 25, 2010

Email of the Day


The newlyweds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, “Honey, I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer. I’ll be right back.”

“Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

“I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,” he answered. “I’m going to have a beer.”

The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses….”

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because his wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won‘t be long. I‘ll be right back. I promise, OK?”

“You want hors d‘oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 4 dishes of different hors d‘oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in the blanket, mushroom caps, and little quiches

“But, my Sweet Honey…at the bar…you know… there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”

“You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR SORRY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR FUCKIN’ BEER IN YOUR STUPID FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR DUMBASS HORS D’OEUVRES RIGHT HERE BECAUSE YOU’RE FUCKIN’ MARRIED NOW, AND YOUR SORRY ASS IS SOOO NOT GOING TO ANY DAMNED BAR. THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, DUMB ASS?”

And, they lived happily ever after.

Isn’t that a sweet story?

4 comments:

karen gerstenberger said...

Very funny. I wonder who wrote it, male or female? =)

dkuroiwa said...

"That is such a *sniff sniff* beautiful story," she typed with one hand as she wiped the tears off her cheeks with the other. "just beautiful."
(^-^)

ModernMom said...

LOL Touching:)

Tracey Axnick said...

Ah, marriage... the romantic intertwining of two souls.... ;)