Email of the Day

Of course, my Daddy sent me this.  It's 100% true!!

: ITALIAN THANKSGIVING-

MANGIARE ! MANGIARE !!!

       To those of you who remember,

     We REALLY did feast like this,

        Oh Boy..didn't we though......

ITALIAN THANKSGIVING When I was a kid growing up, Thanksgiving was a day to reflect on what we had to be thankful for and to see my family together.  After this peaceful moment, of no one screaming at each other, it was time to eat!                           ANDIAMO! Now Italians do it all little bit different than the rest, but what else is new. First we start with: ANTIPASTO then LASAGNA  or MANICOTTI (depending on what you had last year) with MEAT IN THE GRAVY   then SOUP   Now we get to the Meal: TURKEY   STUFFING ROASTED POTATOES BROCCOLI RABE and / or ESCAROLE ROASTED RED PEPPERS SAUTEED MUSHROOMS SAUTEED STRINGBEANS (picked from the vine in the backyard garden) THE BREAD (that nonna made) and GOD FORBID YOU FORGET THE SALAD!!! (picked from the backyard garden with homemade wine vinegar) To wash it all down, we had: HOMEMADE WINE and 7 UP (IN THE GLASS BOTTLE) Then after the men had a 2 hour nap and the woman cleaned all the dishes, we had: CHESTNUTS MIXED NUTS FRESH FRUIT DRIED FIGS and FINOCCHIO Then we started the dessert: ITALIAN COOKIES SFOGLIATELLE CANNOLIS and ITALIAN PASTRY (just in case we missed something) During this feast we enjoyed a nice EXPRESSO  with MARIE BRIZARD ANISETTE  or ROMANA SAMBUCA Then after that we needed a little something for DIGESTIVO We went straight for the BRIOSCHI!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL MY PAISANI

Just in case you don't believe me, check out this Thanksgiving post from two years ago.


**Oh, what the hell!?!?  I've edited this twice now, to put the pictures back in, and they keep disappearing!  Damn it!** 

**Ok, maybe the third time's the charm.  It damn well better be, it took me a half hour!!  I saved each individual picture to my computer, then inserted them one by one.  Oy!!**

For my fellow ChiTown Girls...

I couldn't help but lift this from one of Stud's friend's Facebook pages.

Parent Teacher Conference

I watched this at 6:30 this morning over at Tiffany's place, and almost pissed my pants!! It was the perfect way to start my day, before heading over to the Hell-Hole.


The sad thing is, I've heard most of this first-hand, as have most of my teacher friends. Don't worry, I'm not gonna climb up on my soap box, I just wanted to share the funny.

Email of the Day

***WARNING***
Very politically INcorrect post coming...

Chicago Public Schools
High School Math Proficiency Exam

Student name_________________________

Gang Affiliation_____________________


1. DeShaun has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine, and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Diego for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?

4. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Juwan gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen two BMWs and three 4x4s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $950?

6. Miguel is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison Extra credit: How many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent all his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 8 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? Extra credit: Determine the expected ratio of boys to girls of Hector's offspring.

9. Kelvyn shoots into a crowd of people at a block party because he was disrespected 2 hours earlier. What is the percentage of likelihood that he will hit his intended target? Given that number, what is the percentage of likelihood that he will hit a 9 year old in his bedroom on the next block?

10. Riding in a car stolen and driven at a high rate of speed by her Boo, LaQuiSha is hurt when Boo runs into one of Mayor Daley's flower-filled medians. How soon, in days, will LaQuiSha's mama file a lawsuit against the City of Chicago? Extra credit: Estimate, to the nearest $1,000, the amount the city will grant in their settlement to LaQuiSha's mama.

Funny cuz it's true #3...

All my "teacher friends" will especially appreciate this one, and you'll appreciate it ten-fold if you work here in Englewood with me ;-)

Funny cuz it's true #2...

I just totally stole this from Christine. It made me laugh out loud! Thanks goodness the babies are in gym right now, cuz their teacher is losin' it!!

Chicago Weather Humor
Compared to other cities, Chicago weather reactions .......
60 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, woolly hats & put the car heater on. Chicago people sunbathe.
50 degrees
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.Chicago people plant gardens.
40 degrees
Italian cars won't start.Chicago people drive with the windows down.
32 degrees
CHICAGO--NO PLACE LIKE IT! Distilled water freezes.Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 degrees
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.Chicago people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
50 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - (Absolute Zero)
ALL atomic motion stops.Chicago People start saying... "Cold 'nuff for ya??"
500 below
Hell freezes over.The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

I'm still cracking up! And, you all know that I didn't even bother to get out my coat until yesterday, when it was about -17! So funny!

Thanks, Christine!!

Funny cuz it's true...

I just came across this blog on John's blog. (Yes, that would be the same John who proposed to Dana at Christmas!) You should read some of these. I'm not really sure what to make of them. Some are hilarious, some are just weird!

Overheard in Chicago