Saturday, May 31, 2008

Sunny Saturday

Good morning, Sunshine!! I woke up (far too early, by the way! Naturally I went straight to the bar from the theater, so I was able to maintain my usual 4am bedtime...) to the most beautiful, warm, sunny day we've seen in a while. Yesterday was one weird stormy moment after another, so this is an unexpected surprise. Why, oh why couldn't it have been like this yesterday for the picnic?! Oh, well, it is what it is.

I was all set to give you the details of the 8th grade trip from the other day, but then I realize, nobody really gives a rat's ass about it other than me! So, instead, I did want to share a few things I've been thinking about in regards to my baby and his friends. Let me tell you, however, what our schedule was like on the day of the trip, just so you can appreciate why I'm always so tired...

7:30 Arrive at school. The kids start school at 7:50. I dropped off my darling, then went to the corner for Dunkin Donuts coffee, naturally.

8:15 Kids start coming down to get on the bus, name tags are passed out, etc.

8:30 Bus pulls away from the school, headed to Medieval Times in Shaumburg.

10:30 Arrive in Shaumburg. Oh, no, that's NOT a typo. Two freakin' hours!!!!! The biggest problem is the route the bus driver chose to take. I won't bother to get into, especially because only my Chicago friends would understand it anyway. Let's just say, two hours is far too long to make an old lady sit on a bus once she's had a large Dunkin Donuts coffee. I had to finally give in to the demands of my bladder, and use the bathroom on the bus. I have to say, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Very clean, for sure. Just tiny and bumpy.

11:00 The show started. The kids had about 25 minutes to walk around the gift shops and take pictures and stuff before the show. The show was a lot of fun. Lunch was a bit difficult for some of the kids. If you aren't familiar with Medieval Times, you're served a meal that you then must eat without utensils. There's a cup of soup, that you have to drink, then they bring you a half a chicken with a potato wedge, which you then have to eat with your hands. Finally, they bring out big chocolate chip cookies for dessert. Many of the kids had trouble dealing with the chicken, since they're used to their chicken being cut into separate pieces (leg, wing, thigh, breast) plus, let's face it, it's messy! Then, on top of that, the meal is served during the show, so it's pretty dark. But, I guess the kids weren't that bothered by it, because they were more involved with watching the show.

1:30 Load back on the bus, head downtown.

2:30 Arrive at the McCormick Freedom Museum, meet up with our guide from the agency that put the trip together. The kids explored the museum a bit, but truly weren't that interested in doing anything the least bit educational that day. I should be embarrassed to admit, I was hitting a slump at this point (I think my Dunkin Donuts wore off!), and basically sat in a chair for nearly the entire time we were there. I'm going to have to go back on my own with my son to really see what the museum has to offer.

3:30 Back on the bus to head to Navy Pier. Oh, but wait! One of the little darlings says she has to go back in because she left her IPod in the museum. She and the guide go running back in, while Mrs. M. lectures the rest of the kids about how now we're going to be late because one of their classmates was irresponsible, and really, she shouldn't have brought the IPod anyway, so on and so on. The teacher in me was saying the exact same thing to myself. After a few minutes, one of the boys says, "Mrs. M., why did T go back into the museum? She gave me her IPod to hold, and I have it." Well, I thought Mrs. M., was going to slap him. Now, we're trying to call the guide to tell her we found it, but we couldn't get through on her phone. Luckily, they were back in just a matter of minutes anyway. I have a feeling T remembered she gave her IPod to someone to hold. We finally get under way about 3:45.

4:15 We begin boarding the boat for our architectural tour on the river. It was wonderful! The only problem was that it was FREEZING! By this point, the sun had become hidden by clouds, and we did feel a few drops as we pulled away from the dock. Luckily, the rain held off, but it was very cold and windy during our ride.

5:15 Disembark, head over to Navy Pier so the kids could walk around and explore for a little while. Somehow, we got behind our original schedule, because the kids only had about 45 minutes, instead of the hour and a half we were first told. But, it was fine, they didn't care. I had to just keep telling them to please try and not eat much, especially junk food, because we were going to be going to dinner at the Rainforest Cafe at 6:30. Yeah, well, no such luck. Nearly every group of kids I passed as I walked around had something to munch, like ice cream, candy, Starbucks, popcorn, whatever. I couldn't blame them, though. 7:00 was an awfully late dinner time for kids who ate lunch at 11:30.

I wasn't any better. As soon as we got off that boat, I headed straight to Starbucks for a venti sugar-free, fat-free caramel macchiato. YUM!! That was more because I was frozen, but it hit the spot! I did manage to get my son to meet me a few minutes before we had to leave to take a picture with me in one of the photo booths. We try to hit this particular booth every time we go to Navy Pier. It prints a photo that looks like someone drew it with a pencil. Very cool! I have a bunch framed and hanging in my living room. They're in chronological order, so it's really neat to see how my son has changed over the years. And how old I've become!! :(

6:30 Back on the bus, head over to Rainforest Cafe. Luckily, they were totally ready for us when we arrived at 7:00, so we didn't have to wait. We sat down immediately, and they started bringing on the food. Surprisingly, there was a salad on every table (my son was happy about that!) then they brought each table a pepperoni pizza, a plate of cheeseburgers, and a platter of french fries covered with chicken fingers. They later brought a plate of chocolate chip cookies. The kids finished up their feast of bad foods, and headed over to the gift shop. They were able to shop for about 45 minutes before we had to get back on the bus and head home.

8:30 Arrive back at school. Luckily, at that time of night, the expressway was empty, and we made it back to school in 15 minutes. Our bus driver was a really sweet guy named Bob, who the kids immediately took a liking to. Can I just tell you what sweet kids these are? The majority of them got back on the bus after Rainforest with gifts for Bob. Yes, really! He had a bag full of things by the time they all were seated. He was really moved by their generosity, and was very appreciative of their gifts. It was a very proud moment, as their "mom."

By the time all the kids were picked up, and we arrived home, it was after 9:30. What a looonnnggg day. But, I loved every minute of it. I hope my son enjoyed it as much as I did.

Jeezaloo, didn't I say I WASN'T going to give all the details?! If you're still reading, my apologies! What I said I wanted to tell you about was the kids. I'll save it for another day, when your eyeballs aren't bleeding! I'm off to start baking for the graduation party tomorrow. (Did I mention my sister and I are having a party for our kids tomorrow? My niece graduated this past Wednesday, my son graduates next Monday, so we're having a combined party to make it a little easier on our family) It figures it would be warm and sunny today, doesn't it? Not exactly ideal baking weather, but what are gonna do? I need to get over to the bar soon, too, since I missed several days this week, and I have to catch up on my duties. God, I can't wait for school to be over!!! Maybe then I can catch up on some freakin' sleep!!! Preferably in my hammock! :) Have a great weekend!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Another great day!

Today was the school picnic at my son's school. It was chock full of fun. Needless to say, I'm wiped out once again. I started running at about 7 this morning, and we just got home about 3. In between was lots of activities, including dodging rain drops. We did finally have to move inside because a storm rolled through, but the fun didn't stop thankfully. I'm still trying to recover from yesterday's trip, so this didn't help. My son is about to leave with his dad for the weekend, so I'm going to try and catch a VERY short nap. I'm going to see Jersey Boys tonight with my parents, and a few other relatives. I'm excited, but I'm just soooo tired!! I hope to God I don't fall asleep during the show!! I'll try to give you a little more about yesterday's trip tomorrow, after a full night's rest. See ya!!

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Great Day!!

It's 10:00 pm, and I'm basically just getting home from a wonderful day with my son and his classmates. I'm going to give you all the scoop tomorrow, I hope, when my eyelids aren't fighting to close :( Nighty night!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Slow day for a Tuesday

DIBELS quotes for today:
"Felt is touched."
"North Avenue." (I assume as in beach?)

Wow, not much else to say today. The kids were no better or worse than usual today. Although, they did get in trouble with Ms. C. at the end of the day while I was in the office taking a phone call. The call was actually from my son's teacher. I just found out that the 8th grade trip, that I've been waiting to chaperone for two months now, is going to cost me $150!!! I had no idea that chaperones had to pay to join the trip. I'm really bummed. I already paid $260 in graduation fees for my son to go. When his teacher asked me to chaperone a couple of months ago, she never mentioned that it was going to cost anything. I mean, holy crap, $150!!?

Truthfully, the day is chock full of activities, so it's not that I think $150 is too much for what we're doing. It's just that's a lot of money to come up with in one day (at least for me). Here's the agenda for tomorrow. We are starting out at Medieval Times, which I'm very excited about since neither my son nor I have been there before. After that, we'll be heading downtown to the Freedom Museum. Then, we'll be heading over to Navy Pier to take an architectural tour of the city via the Chicago River. After the tour, we'll have about an hour and a half to just walk around and explore Navy Pier before heading over to Rainforest Cafe for an all-you-can-eat buffet of junk (french fries, chicken fingers, hamburgers, cookies and so on) that I'm sure will delight the children to no end! So, like I said, it's definitely worth the money.

Actually, I was surprised with a check this morning at school for $100, which I suppose I'll be putting toward the trip. The great thing about the check is that it was a reimbursement check. For school supplies I purchased. Back in DECEMBER!!!! I've been bugging the business manager for months for this money, so imagine my surprise when she told me it was finally here today. I suppose the fact that it came the very day I found out I had to pay is a sign that I should just go on the trip, huh? My son actually wants me to come, so I guess the decision has been made. I'm actually very touched that he wants me to be there. It helps that his friends think I'm "the coolest mom ever."

I just hope we have decent weather for the day, especially since we'll be out on a boat for 60 minutes. Just to give you an idea of what Chicago's schizophrenic weather has been doing, it was in the 80s yesterday for Memorial Day, and right now it's in the 40s. My heat just kicked on in the house!

OK, I'm off to bed. Despite having a rather quiet day at work, my afternoon was non-stop running. Straight from school to let the dog out, then to the store to shop for a graduation suit (Success! We bought one! Down-side: the ex meet us at the store and shopped with us. Up-side: he paid for everything!), then back home to get Buster because he had to go to the vet. After running to the vet, while making phone calls to see how late the tailor shop would be open, I walked in to hear, "Didn't you get my message?" WTF?! Apparently, they had him scheduled for a dental cleaning, which required me to drop him off the night before. But, he doesn't need a dental cleaning until November, and this was just supposed to be his bi-annual comprehensive exam. Luckily, the doctor said he could do it right then and there, as soon as he finished up with the patient he was with. Great! However, I had to get to the tailor before he closed at 7:00, and it was already 5:30. And, the vet's office closes at 6:30! Yikes!

So, I left Buster, rushed over to the tailor (a 20 minute drive despite speeding) then spent another 20 minutes getting measured, then 20 minutes back to the vet. I just made it at about 6:35! Good thing they love us over there!

While at the vet's picking up Buster, my brother called to see if I was coming to the bar. Hold on now, he actually was calling because he wanted to have dinner with me, not because he needed me to work. I love that guy. A friend of his brought him Chinese, which I adore, and he thought I'd like to come share it with him. Isn't he sweet? I'm just glad he didn't need me to come in, because I'm exhausted. And, on that note, I'm seriously going to bed now. Good night!!
Even if you're tired, it's a joy being with children. You have to give all the time, but you can't complain. It has its rewards. ---Tom Berenger

Obviously, Tom hasn't spent that much time in Englewood. OK, I'm being bitchy, I need to go to bed!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

I'm a thief...

I just stole this from another blog I regularly read, The Tilde. It cracked me up, so I wanted to share!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Just in case you missed it...

...there are now only 9 days left of kindergarten, three of which I'll be out, and another that doesn't really count cuz it'll be the last day and we'll be spending the morning at the preschool graduation and the afternoon doing our own celebration. So, I guess that means I only have 5 real days left with my babies. Oh shit, now I'm feeling sad. Seriously. I sorta miss them already. OK, enough, I have work to do. Duty calls.
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. ---Winston Churchill

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I give up...

...on my promise to myself to post everyday. It just can't be done. Failure has reared it's ugly head, and bitten me on the ass.

However, there was some good stuff that happened at school today. (Can you believe it, a post that's actually about school?!) Mrs. J., the Office Goddess, arranged for us to get rid of, I mean finish up with, our kindergartners more than a week earlier than was scheduled! I LOVE THAT WOMAN!!!! Our last day with the beasts, I mean children, will be Thursday, June 5, instead of Friday, June 13. Hallelujah! The only downside, if you can call it that, is that now Dori and I have to plan an afternoon of activities for our kids and their parents. But, hell, it's WELL worth it. I was so happy, I almost cried. I think Dori may have shed a tear or two, as well.

Well, that's about all the time I have today. Join me again tomorrow, for another boring episode of "Life in Englewood."
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. ---Bill Cosby

Monday, May 19, 2008

Busy day...

We went on a field trip today, then I had to race home to shower and get to my doctor's office for an appointment. The appointment left me a bit shaken (maybe I'll explain later) so I headed over to the bar (since my doctor's office is close to the bar) after stopping to buy some things to make dinner for my brother and myself. I'm sitting at the bar now, people watching and catching up on the blogs I didn't get to read today because we were at the zoo. I will post again later about the trip, complete with pictures.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

It's 12:56...

...and I'm seriously drunk! What the hell? I'm at the bar working, and I just drank 3 shots like they were water, and now my head is spinning. What the hell was I thinking!? I still have about 3 hours of work ahead of me. Just great....

**************Monday, May 19
sheesh, I probably should clarify this post, since I was obviously not in my right mind when I wrote it. My brother does this delightful little thing when he makes his martinis. He tends to use a very long pour, so he always makes more than will fit in the martini glass. He then pours what's left into a shot glass (or two, depending on how much he over-pours!) and then he and I usually share it. That's how I've been able to taste most of the martinis on the menu, and then I'm able to help people decide what they want. It's all very serious job-related research, folks, I swear! Well, right before I posted this, my brother had made a Peachy-kini and a Cherry Swizzle, both of which he over poured by two shots each. So, he put down the four shots, I drank one of each and left the other two for him. Well, we were busy, so they sat for a few minutes, and then I brought them over to one of our friends. He drank one, and I drank the other. So that was three shots in about 5 minutes. It didn't take long to go straight to my head, let me tell you! The best thing about martinis is that most of them are pure alcohol, and 9 freakin' shots of it to a glass!! So, these shots were killer, in a good way of course!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

Yay, we made it to another Friday!

How is it possible for this week to go by so quickly, yet drag at the same time? Maybe I'm just losing it. Could it be because I'm so busy being focused on "is it Friday yet?" that it seems to drag? I don't know, I'm just glad another week is over. We have 18 days of school left (which is 14 for me!) and the end is in sight. Monday, some of my babies will be going on a field trip with me to Lincoln Park Zoo. I say 'some' because several of them were not invited to join us on this trip. Too bad, so sad! There are only 20 of them coming, and that's assuming they all show up on time, cuz the bus ain't waitin'! I just pray we have nice weather. Chicago's weather is a bit schizophrenic. Yesterday it was rainy and in the 50s, today it's been very sunny and in the 70s. Who the hell knows what Monday will be like. It just might snow! Every year, on the day I take my class to the zoo, it rains, so that's what I'm planning for. We go rain or shine, so I hope the babies come dressed for the weather. Luckily, there are enough places we can go to stay out of the rain.

OK, I'm very late for my second job, so I'd better get going. Have a great weekend!!
There aren't enough days in the weekend. ---Rod Schmidt

No kidding, Rod!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

40 and 1 week....

This was the fastest week I've ever had! Where did the past 7 days go? There were still things I wanted to share from my birthday, and a whole week has passed already. Let's try and wrap this up...
That evening, my son and I went to dinner with my parents at one of our favorite restaurants. My brother and sister were both working, so it was just the four of us. After dinner, I took my son to his other grandma's, and the rest of us headed to the bar. When I arrived at the bar, some friends were already there waiting for us. A few minutes after I got there, my brother told his buddy (who helps him out behind the bar) that he had to go home for something, and that he'd be right back. About 10 minutes later, he came back with this:
Check out the description on the box! Pimpin Stein!?! LOVE IT!!I LOVE it!! He and I were cracking up, especially after we had to translate for all the seriously Caucasian people in our group. While my brother was gone, I had taken that opportunity to mix myself a couple of margaritas (that's right, I said a couple.) I had made them in BIG pint glasses, so there was quite a bit of heaven there. When he brought me my goblet, I washed it out, and then poured my two drinks into it. They didn't even fill it half-way! I LOVE this thing! I decided I'd better finish what was in there instead of filling it up all the way. Good thing, because I made those margaritas a little on the strong side, and by the time I was half through, I was trashed! More friends joined us in the meantime, including my Dori, and a good time was had by all. At some point, my brother turned off the music, and announced to the entire bar that it was my birthday, and had everyone sing to me (just like we did for my dad a few weeks ago). It was very sweet! My mom and sister then served ice cream topped brownies to the whole bar.

Flash forward 3 days to Mothers' Day. I've already spent too many days boring you with the details of my birthday, so I'll keep this short. I got even more flowers (yay!) from my nieces and my brother. Aren't they pretty? The daisies are from my nieces, the tulips are from my brother.

The only thing is that now, my kitchen is starting to feel like a funeral home, with all these flowers!Hey, remember way back when, when I started a blog to tell you about life as a CPS teacher? Baby Story Alert!

Once again, it's DIBELS time! Oh, joy! I've been trying to jot down some of the funnier things the babies have said. Before I share those, let me just say, I'm so proud of my babies so far. As much as I bitch and moan about not being able to do any teaching because I'm always disciplining, obviously some of them must be absorbing some of what I say.
You might remember that one of the tests requires the babies to take words I give them and make sentences. The words I gave are bold and in italics:
These are from Miss K.C.
  • "I felt a wooshie cushion." (woopie cushion?)
  • "Animals are not shmosta (supposed to) boo boo in the house!" (For those of you not in the know, "boo boo" is the Englewood version of "poop")

Miss C.W. gave an awesome sentence for the word north. "I went to the North Pole." Don't even get me started on the fact that north is one of the words given to 5-year olds to use in a sentence!

D.J. (who I haven't written about in ages!) gave me a couple of very short phrases for these two:

  • "Early dismissal." (we hear this phrase far too often at school!)
  • " North side." (I think this may be a Chicago thing!)

Earlier in the day, we had started a new unit for reading, and this week we are discussing insects. I was trying to see what the babies already knew about insects, and I asked, "How many legs do insects have?" A few of the babies started yelling out random numbers, from 2-100. Then D.J., with a very serious face, said matter-of-factly, "A lot!" I've been meaning to write about D.J. for a while now, I just haven't had the strength or energy. I will get to it soon though. I have lots to say about him.

OK, it's time to figure out what's for dinner. Thank you, Big Cheese, for signing me up for a workshop today. By now, you have to know that means I enjoyed a day off today! Hence, this extra loonnggg post!!

This made me think of D.J.

We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. ~Stacia Tauscher

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

I didn't forget...

...I'm just far too exhausted to post anything tonight. See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'm back...

...sheesh, what happened to the last 5 days?! I never finished my birthday post, and I didn't post yesterday. Shame on me!!
Let's see, where did I leave off? I showed you my car. When I got to school, my good friend across the hall, Mrs. M., brought me flowers in a pretty vase.

My Dori brought me a whole bag of bath goodies. Sadly, I haven't had a chance to use any of them just yet, but believe me, it's coming soon! She gave me some great body wash, in-shower moisturizer, an exfoliating cloth, some lavender-scented hand soap, and a gel mask that can be used hot or cold. Believe it or not, I don't have one of those, so I'm really excited. I'm really anticipating the relief it'll provide when I get my next migraine!

Dori and Mrs. M. took me out for lunch at our favorite hotspot - Subway! We decided to get our lunch to-go, and we ate in Dori's room. As I was standing up to go get my babies from art, I looked up at Dori's window, and there was my brother's handsome face!! I just shouted, "My brother's here!!" I went running to the door to let him in, and imagine my surprise when I opened the door and saw my mommy, too! I can NOT believe my mother came to Englewood for my birthday. Now that's love! My mom and brother brought me flowers and brownies, and some candy for the babies.

All my pretty birthday flowers!

Speaking of birthday flowers, here are the ones I told you my wonderful mother-in-law planted for me last week.

They're really gonna look awesome when they start to grow and fill out their containers.
OK, back to the birthday surprises. My mom brought me a few "little" present at school. Look at this!!!! I LOVE it!!!
Can you see what it is? Of course you can! It's penguins!!! From far away, it just looks like a funky, silver bracelet. But, it's really made up of the most adorable creatures on Earth!! (Hey, KBL, should I send your Belov-ED one?)
Apparently, my mother thought this was a laugh riot. I don't know if I posted the horror I experienced recently at having to break down and buy reading glasses (gasp!) but my mother is eating it up. She thought this would be useful!
I guess this book tickled her funny bone, as well. It actually does have a bunch of cute comics in it. As a matter of fact, I purchased a couple of them to have on hand to add to birthday gifts myself.
I forgot to show you what the front door looked like the morning of my birthday. My mom and sister originally had planned to cover my front lawn with balloons (table cloth to match) but they kept blowing away, which is why they stuffed my car instead. Oh, those silly girls!
Since I'm showing you all my pretty flowers, I wanted to show you my favorite thing in my backyard. My lilac bush!! It always opens it blossoms the week of my birthday. That's so nice of it, isn't it? My yard has smelled heavenly for the past week or so. I usually have my hammock on my deck right in front of the bush, and I literally just lie there and drink in the heavenly scent of lilac.I have a little more to share from the night of my birthday, but this post has worn me out. I've never posted this many pictures at one time, and it takes forever! I'll have to continue tomorrow, plus I have a few funny stories about the babies. Remember the babies, the actual point of this blog? Until we meet again....
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. ~Jim Fiebig
Amen, Jim, amen!!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Ok, before I get the all the "happy" stuff, I wanted to share this. Maybe I'm a little hormonal and/or emotional today, but this had me blubbering.

Now that I got that out of the way, I have to tell everyone who's reading this - I have the BEST family and friends!!! As much as I've been dreading this day, all of them made it so much more tolerable. Let me give you a recap of the day so far...

Our morning started out like every other morning...utter chaos! Me yelling, my son moving like a snail, blah, blah, blah, we're running late. I rush out to my car, throw open the door, and balloons shoot out at me!! This is what I saw...

Crap! I just got a phone calling saying that dinner plans have been changed so I have to run. I will finish posting later, since I have lots of pictures to share!!

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I'm gonna get fired...

...I was all set to head up to the bar tonight, when I was reminded that we had a Parents' Club meeting tonight. CRAP! I had totally forgotten all about it. As usual, I couldn't just skip it, since I had to run it (!) plus we were holding elections for the incoming executive board. I was hoping to get the meeting over with quickly, then I figured I'd shoot over to the bar for a while. Unfortunately, due to circumstances WAY out of my control, the meeting went WAY too long, and in the wind-up, I just came home. I have a feeling I'll have a pink slip waiting for me tomorrow night ;-)

The babies were just AWFUL today. AWFUL! Their behavior has progressively gotten worse, and will continue to do so for the remainder of the year, I fear. They want this school year to end just as much as I do. OK, maybe not just as much, but a lot! It was raining all day today, so we couldn't even go outside this afternoon. That's about the only thing I have left to hold over their heads. They apparently didn't get to go to snack yesterday because they were so bad for the sub. Oh well, too bad, so sad! I've said that phrase to the kids a few times now, and it must have stuck with a few, because I've heard them say it to each other. Haha! Too funny!

Thank goodness there are only 24 school days left. And, I'll be out at least 5 of those, so I only have 19 days with the babies. When I think about that, I have such mixed emotions. "How in the world will I teach them everything I still want to teach them in such a short amount of time?" That thought competes with "How the hell am I gonna survive that many more days without smacking one of them!?" We have a field trip coming up, and I'm hoping I can use that for some leverage. Little T.B., the Mad Cusser from yesterday, will NOT be joining us on this trip. As thankful as I am to not have to deal with him at the zoo (where he could be lost in a heartbeat because he doesn't listen or follow the rules!) there's a big part of me that is so sad that he won't be joining us. He's exactly the kid who should be going on this trip. His family will certainly never give him this experience. How sad is that? It just breaks my heart. I'm tempted to make arrangements with his family to take him, by himself, to the zoo, or someplace else, maybe on a Saturday. Just the two of us. One on one, he can be the sweetest baby. But, when I have 29 other babies to deal with, I can't give him that undivided attention he so desperately craves. By the way, I asked our assistant principal what time somebody finally bothered to show up to get him on Monday. (You may remember that he was still sitting there at 3:30 when I left.) Mr. H. told me it was after 4:30!!! Seriously, WTF?!?

OK, it's far too late for me to continue down this path, I just don't have the strength to dwell on it, and I'm on the verge of tears just thinking about it. I'd better get my behind in bed. When I wake up, I will officially be starting the 5th decade of my life. Holy crap!! I'm so old!! Now, I REALLY want to cry.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. ---Emily Carr

OK, Emily, whatever!

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

There's 7 hours of my life I'll NEVER get back... Jury duty SUCKED ASS today! I have NEVER in all my years been so bored! I would love to say more about it, but my brain is still the consistency of jello from the day I've had!

I do want to thank my friends for their outpouring of love and encouraging words, especially smiley and KBL, who left me comments here. I love you guys!

I feel like I should elaborate just a teensy bit about some of this baggage, because after rereading yesterday's post, I sound slightly more bitter and crazy than I would like.

Without completely boring you with every little bit of minutia, let me just say, that during the 12 years we were separated before we officially were divorced, I allowed my ex to play stupid, immature little mind games with me. For example, when he and the HWW would break up (which they did several times over the years, either because she caught him cheating [what a fucking surprise!] or because she was cheating [again, what a fucking surprise!!]), he would immediately come to me about it, cry on my shoulder for a while, tell me what a jerk he was for screwing things up with us, how sorry he was, blah, blah, blah, all while seemingly opening the door for the opportunity of getting back together. Then, time would pass, one of them would forgive the other, and once again, I was left heartbroken and feeling like a fool. Every year, for the entire time he was out of my house, I still got flowers on our anniversary. I'd bet my ass that the HWW didn't know anything about that, though! This past January would have been our 17th anniversary, and this was the first year I didn't get flowers. Technically, on paper at least, we were married 16 years. Our divorce was final last February. On the very morning of our court date (which I didn't even attend because I just couldn't do it) he came to my house to bring my son home. He was obviously dressed for court (suit and tie) and looking like the cat that swallowed the canary. With tears in his eyes, he says, "I'm so sorry for everything. You know I'll always love you. You've always been, and always will be, "the one." WTF?!?!? And, gee, why exactly am I having trouble moving on again? Did I just make myself sound even more pathetic now? Whatever, it is what it is.

Hmm, two days of purging SHIT from my head has done me a world of good. Probably hasn't helped anyone else, though, huh? I'll try to stick to school stuff tomorrow, I swear!
Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts. ~Author Unknown

Monday, May 5, 2008

All before 9:30 am....

...little T.B. dropped a "titties," "suck this!" and a few other choice expletives at his table. Charming!! Sometimes, I just want to choke that kid!! Then, I have to remind myself that what he needs way more than my hands around his throat are my hands just around him. He comes from one of the more screwed-up families I've encountered there at the Hell-Hole. Without getting into all the details right now, let me just share that he was STILL sitting in the office at 3:30 when I left, a full 45 minutes after school let out. WTF!?!? How do you just not worry about picking up your kindergartner!!? What kind of message does that send him. "Gee, you're just really not important enough for us to bother making sure someone picks you up at the end of the school day." So sad... For the 2,345th time, that's why I keep coming back to the Hell-Hole everyday - the babies need me.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo my friends!! I'm actually about to head up to the bar (surprise, surprise) to do a little celebrating. My son is spending the night at his best friend's house. My girlfriend is the best!! I originally just wanted her to drive him to school for me in the morning since I'm not working, and it snowballed into "Let him come here now, he can have dinner with us and spend the night!" That means not only do I get to sleep an hour later tomorrow since I don't have to drive all the way to his school, but I also can go out tonight for a celebration margarita!! Yay! I'll be meeting my parents and my uncle & his girlfriend, who are taking her daughter out for her birthday at a place near the bar, so they'll be joining us after dinner.

So, I came home from school today to find all my planter boxes, baskets, pots, etc., filled with flowers. Beautiful flowers! My (ex) mother-in-law strikes again! For the past few years, she's been doing that for me for my birthday. How sweet is she? She's a little early this year, but it was such a gloriously beautiful day here in Chitown, that I can understand why she did it today. Geez, I just hope it doesn't snow again this week, or dip below freezing. My friends from here know I'm not just talking crazy. It very possibly could happen!!

OK, I promised myself that I wasn't going to rant/vent about this, but I lie to myself a lot. Now that I've mentioned my mother-in-law, it brings to mind the piece of shit she gave birth to (sorry, Ma!) When I'm really feeling bitter/angry/spiteful, I always say that the reason she does SOOO much for me is that she's trying to make up for the fact that her son is such a complete cocksucking jagoff. Gee, maybe I should stop holding back and tell you how I really feel. I don't know why I still let him get to me. I seriously think I need to get some professional help to deal with all this residual anger and rage that I feel toward him. It just can't be healthy. Plus, it makes me sound like a bitter bitch, which I really try not to be. I just can't seem to move past this. But, since I obviously am having trouble doing that, I'll just vent.

Last Friday (the night of the Ice Cream Social) was apparently the Home Wrecking Whore's (HWW) birthday. Her 40th birthday, to be exact. It's bad enough that I was already pissed about the whole "yay, Dad's coming!" thing, and that I was actually going to have to sit with him and be civil. Then, he has the nerve to show up with one of the HWW kids. Now, mind you, I would NEVER hold it against her kids that she's a HWW, so I was perfectly nice/polite/cordial to the boy. And, my son adores her two sons, so I would never put my son in an awkward position by being rude to her kids. So, anyway, he brings the kid to the show, show ends, he makes the awkward introductions (I could almost read the weird look on his face..."Hmmm, I was expected someone with a tail and breathing fire...") and they leave. I find out a little while later from his dad that my son was eating cake because it was "someone's birthday." For God's sake, how much longer are you going to try and pretend she's a fucking secret!!!??? You can't just say, "It's C's birthday." No, she's got to be "someone." You fucking moron!! We're divorced now, you don't have to hide your mistress anymore!

Flash ahead to Sunday when my son came home. His father had mentioned to me that he was going to have to bring him home Sunday because he was going out of town again this week. Naturally, I assumed it was again for work. I had asked him why HWW couldn't just bring him home later, thinking, ok, I'll be the mature one and act like I'm ok with her doing a "parent" thing for my son. He says, "She's going with me." Hmmm, ok, whatever. Last night, my darling son filled me in on what's actually going on this week. His dad and the HWW took an Alaskan cruise to celebrate her birthday. How lovely. I realize that seems relatively harmless, and you're probably thinking, what's the big damn deal? Well, the big damn deal is the shit I can't let go and move on from. Thursday will be my 40th birthday. Do you know how I always thought I would spend my 40th birthday? With my husband and our 3 sons, in our home, together. Now, obviously, you know I only have one son, but that's because we separated when he was a year and a half old. But, my whole life I imagined myself with 3 sons. That's the family I've always dreamed of, always wanted. And, in my sick, twisted, angry, bitter way, I blame him for taking that from me. It's HIS fault I don't have that. On the other hand, he does have 3 sons now. He has mine and the HWW's two (from two different men, of course, neither of which she was married to. I just had to throw that in there to emphasize the WHORE part!) So, now SHE'S living my life, with "my kids" and "my husband." And, the icing on the cake is, in all the years we were together, we NEVER took a vacation. Never. The only trip we ever took together was our honeymoon, and that's only because my parents surprised us with it the night before our wedding. We hadn't planned to even take a honeymoon. But, for ALL the years that we were together, all I ever talked about was how one day, I wanted us to take my dream vacation - an Alaskan cruise. I swear to you, that's the truth. I've been dreaming of it since I was 18 years old. And, now the bitch has that, too. Do you see, I wasn't kidding when I said I need some professional help. Why can't I just get past this? The anger and rage are just as fresh right now as they were when I found out about her. I've seriously got problems.

There are times that I'm actually thankful that my son is sort of living the life that I planned for him. Two brothers, a mom and a dad in the home, etc., but I was supposed to be the mom, obviously! It's not like I even want my ex back, cuz I truly don't. He makes my skin crawl these days, and I could never see us together again. I don't know why it is that I can't just let it go. I think a lot of the anger comes from the fact that he ultimately chose her over me. In the past 13 or so years, there were times when I thought about getting back together, and there were plenty of times he made me believe that was a possibility. But, in the end, she "won" and I think that's what pisses me off, because I know I'm a far better catch! Although, at the time, I didn't really believe that, so it did some serious damage to my self-esteem. Obviously, there MUST be something wrong with me if my husband chose to be with someone else instead of me. Someone who has all the qualities most people steer clear of, which means I must really be unlovable, right? (I've been told by MANY people, mostly other cops that worked with them both, that she's "slept her way through the department," "she's white trash," and so on. She knew full-well my husband was married, and didn't care. She, at one point, gave him an ultimatum - get a divorce, or I'll marry J, the OTHER cop she was sleeping with at the time. We didn't get a divorce, she got married, and they continued their affair. Nice, huh? I realize how childish it is for me to spill so much dirt about her, but I didn't give her name, and beside, who cares. She's a whore, and if she's ashamed of how she's lived her life, that's not my problem. Besides, it makes me feel better to be such a vindictive bitch, ok?) Good grief, I have issues! Maybe some of you have some words of wisdom that can help me see the light.

Jeezaloo, I've been venting for quite a while. I was actually going to just delete the above rant, but now that I've spent so much time on it, it seems a shame to just get rid of it. Well, now you all have a little glimpse into my mental illness. My real friends will still love me in spite of it, I know. Maybe they'll love me a little more because of it...

I'm off to indulge in a margarita or two! Buenas noches!
God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. ~Author Unknown

Friday, May 2, 2008

Holy $hit!

I just lifted this from "Never a Dull Moment"'s blog, and thought I'd see how I'd scored.

The Blog-O-Cuss Meter - Do you cuss a lot in your blog or website?

No real surprise there, huh? Thank God I edit myself before hitting "publish" or my score would be significantly higher!

I can't believe... painfully shy son, who normally has a hard time even speaking to people, has a HUGE SOLO tonight in the 8th grade show at the Ice Cream Social. I can't even believe it!! I'm so nervous and excited for him. I'm going to try and record it with my camera, and possibly post it here tomorrow, depending on how it goes. I'm really excited about this!! At home, he's always got music playing, just like his mama, and I listen to him singing from the other room all the time. I just can't believe he's willing to do it on stage, in front of the entire school, and their families. His father is actually going to come tonight, too (oh, joy!) so that he can videotape it for me.

I wasn't going to bitch about this, but since we all know that blogging serves as therapy half the time, let me just get this off my chest. This morning, during his usual morning phone call, my son's father told him about his plans to come tonight. You would have thought my son was told he was getting a million dollars. He yells out "Yay!" then after hanging up, excitedly tells me, "Dad's coming to the show tonight!" Well, laddy-freakin-da!! Why aren't you excited that I'M coming to the show? Your father hasn't come to a damn thing for the past 8 years that you've been in grammer school. Not a Christmas show, not an awards assembly, not a social event, not a single fuckin' thing!! I, on the other hand, haven't MISSED a single thing, I've taken days off work to come to things, and I've single-handedly planned and executed most of the social events at that damn school just so YOU would have a good time!! I know it sounds stupid, but it hurt my feelings that he had such a reaction to his father coming to something. Now, of course, the rational side of me realizes that this probably isn't that unusual of a reaction from a child, especially when it involves the non-custodial parent. Naturally, he's so excited BECAUSE his father never comes to anything. I get that. It still pisses me off, though, I'm sorry. I just hope that when he's an adult, he appreciates all I've done for him over the years. Jeez, I sound like Wendy Whiner, huh? OK, moving on....

I'll be heading straight over to my "other job" from the show, so I probably should go try and take a 20 minute nap before heading over to the school. Either that, or I should go finish washing the load of bar towels I brought home last night. Yeah, I guess the towels win. Oh well, good thing there's a Dunkin Donuts two doors down from Intimo!! Have a great weekend!
Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ---Richard Carlson

Thursday, May 1, 2008

It's a good thing I love my brother...

...cuz I'm sitting here at the bar right now, instead of being at home, which is HUGE because a new "Ugly Betty" was on tonight! Yeah, I'm a loser. I'm addicted to the show, and I was so psyched when the writers' strike ended so new episodes would come back. I had a big plan to leave here by 6:30 so I could get home in time to watch, but that didn't work, obviously. My sweet brother, God bless him, tried to put it on the TV here at the bar, but it wasn't really working out. I couldn't hear it over the music, plus, you know, there were other people here!

I've got most of the prep work finished for this weekend's menu. I think I just may cut out soon, since I do have to work tomorrow. No worries, though, I'm only working 3 days next week. Oo, and I just found out from my clerk that the last week of May, I'll only be working 2 days!! Hoo weee! I'm taking May 29th off for my son's 8th grade trip, then the 30th because it's the End-of-the-Year Picnic at his school. Naturally, as vice president of Parents' Club, I'm in charge of the event, so I can't miss it. Shame, isn't it? ;-) When I was telling the clerk, so she could record the dates on her calendar, she informed me that we're off that Monday, the 26th, for Memorial Day! Yahoo!

OK, time to go clean up the kitchen and pack up. My bed is calling me....
I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. ---Gloria Steinem