Good night, Sweet Prince...

We just got home from the local animal welfare place. We needed to put our sweet Buster down this morning. I had intended to do a proper post when the time came, but our internet went out last night, so I'm posting this from my phone. I don't know if this is even going to work. 

Since I cannot use my computer to post, I tried to pull some pictures from old posts. I know there is a better way to do it, but this was the best I could do for today.

This is one of my very favorite pictures of Dorky Dog. 

And, finally, my all-time favorite picture ever of Buster.

Magnum is a complete mess right now. I'm waiting until later to have my breakdown. Right now, I need to mop the kitchen floor. You don't even want to know...

Good bye, Buster. We love you. 

Happy Birthday, Ma

I love you, and I miss you.

Weird update?

I know I haven't mentioned BH since I left you hanging here. That was Jan. 23. The next day, I sent him a response that basically said I'm sorry I bothered him, and I NEVER would have sought him out had I have known he was still married. I know, I know, lame, right? My inner 17 year-old was still in control then. Sue me! I told him I didn't want to cause any problems for him with his wife, and I told him, given the circumstances, I had no plans to use the cell phone number he sent me.

The next day, I got the sweetest reply from him:

Hi L, There is no reason to fell bad. I have a lot of friends
that are woman and I talk to them often
We are lucky that where still here to be talking and still
friends. I was glad to find you. So there are no worries. I
prefer to talk instead of e-mail because I still can't spell
:-) It would be nice to see you and Janie says hi.

Hope you have a great day.
Your friend B

About a minute later he sent this:

See told you I can't spell. Even the spell check can't
figure it out.

Janie is his sister. She and I were very close in high school. It kind of made me smile that he actually mentioned to her that we had touched base with each other.

I'm embarrassed to say I never replied to those emails. I didn't really know what to say. "Yeah, I would love to see you, too. I can tell you all about how I had our future together all planned out." Not so much....

And, yes, I'm fully aware of the fact that we could just reconnect, get to know each other again, and resume our awesome friendship. You can never have too many friends, right? Except, that pesky 17 year-old doesn't want any more friends. She wants him to be her boyfriend!! God, she's annoying!

Like I said, I haven't replied, and I didn't get any more messages from him. I was just about ready to close that door, when what pops up my inbox today? Another message from Classmates saying, "BH stopped by yesterday. Open your Classmates guestbook." What the hell? What was he looking for? Did he think something changed there in the past two weeks? Did he think maybe I left him a message there? What? Why did he go there again?

Am I just a big whiny baby for not wanting to be his friend? Ok, you don't have to answer that, I already know the answer. I'm just not ready to do anything about it yet. The 'Valentine Season' isn't helping things, either. It tends to bring out my inner child. Oh, who am I kidding? It bring out the lonely, bitter, middle-aged woman in me! I hope I can grow up, and get past this someday soon. I really would like to be friends with him again. I just don't think I can do it today.

Do you hear that?

It's the sound of the wind being let out of my sails.

So, I was very rudely awakened this morning at 5:30am by Dorky Dog. After I let him out, I decided to shoot BH a quick email. I have not been able to stop wondering what's been going on with him since we last spoke. Ok, truth be told, I wanted to know if he finally got divorced or not.

In the email, I told him about the last time I spoke to our friend, and that the friend told me he was going through a divorce. I told him I hoped it hadn't been a messy, drawn out affair, and that I hoped he was happy now.

I kept the rest of the email pretty short, mentioning the BIG GAME this afternoon, asking him how work was going, etc.

When I checked my email later, I saw that there were two emails from him in my inbox. One was sent at 8:30, one at 10:30. The first email was a reply to my email. Here's where it goes downhill - he's still married. God almighty, I could NOT feel like a bigger idiot!!!

He also told me that he has a 7 year old daughter. Now, THAT was really a shock because our friend NEVER mentioned that he had a child. I don't know why he wouldn't have said anything. Like I said, we last spoke about 3 years ago, so obviously BH's daughter was born already.

He also told me some things about his job, and then closed the email by saying he looked forward to my call.

The email that he sent two hours later was a picture of his daughter. Nothing else, just the picture attached to a quick note - my daughter kathy.

Of course, his daughter is GORGEOUS! She looks just like her daddy. Actually, she looks a lot like her auntie. BH had a younger sister and a younger brother. His sister and I were close friends in high school. I think she was rooting harder than I was that we would end up together. She used to tease him about me all the time, and she would tell me little embarrassing things about him just to bug him. (for example, she used to tease him, in front of me, about having our Homecoming picture on his dresser so that it was the first thing he saw every morning and the last thing he saw every night. Typical little sister stuff.)

It seems this is yet one more chapter of my life that I need to close. Yes, I know I can still call him to catch up on the past 25 years, but why? Yes, we could still be friends, I suppose. But, truthfully, I don't think I'm mature enough for that. Right now, I can't get past my inner 17 year-old. She wants to go pout somewhere. I think for now, I'm gonna let her...