Monday, April 27, 2009

Random Crap, Part 2

Stud Muffin is spending some time with The Girl and her family today, so I had a few hours to kill. I figured why not spend them trying to post pictures here! Here's a random modge podge of pictures I've been meaning to share for the past month or so.

I think I mentioned that Stud's grandparents bought him a bed, right? Well, here's the GIANT bed. Plus, his messy room, complete with the Thomas the Tank Engine wall decals that he refuses to let me take down. Seriously?! You can just see the Thomas curtains. On the wall that you can't see, there are shelves, which used to be completely filled with Thomas figurines and videos. I managed to pack those away a couple of years ago, but the rest of it, not so much. I'm shocked, actually. But, whatever. I guess I'd prefer Thomas to half-naked girls, right?

Back on Sunday, April 5th, we had a private party at the bar. A warm-up had started a few days before this, and it was about 60ish that day. But, right at the beginning of the party, it started to rain, which then turned to snow as the temp dropped. So weird!!

This is what the cars looked like when I left the bar that night.

At one point in the evening (around 10ish) I called Stud Muffin to check on him, as he was home alone, and he told me the power went out because of the storm. When I got home, this is what I found on the kitchen table. (Yes, the power was still out.) The candles were lit, by the way.

This was on the counter, but was already blown out. I had warned him not to leave the candles burning after he went to bed.
Another counter.
On top of my stove. This one was still burning. He probably figured it was safe, since it was on the stove.
This one was also burning. It's on the pedestal sink in my bathroom.
The following Saturday, well I guess it was technically Sunday, when I got home from work, this is what the sky looked like. Gee, I wonder why it's so hard to fall asleep when I get home? Could it be that it's freakin' daylight already!!?

Hey, whatta ya know! Something about school! The babies made these Easter eggs last month.

No, despite the uncanny resemblance, these aren't my droopy boobs, "they're necklaces!"
We made these last Wednesday. I LOVE the way they turned out, don't you? The babies adored the book The Rainbow Fish, which we read on Monday and Tuesday. They were sooo excited to make these. This almost looks like a "real" bulletin board, doesn't it? Granted, I could have changed the lame background paper, and maybe used some sort of border, but my days of putting up killer boards are over. You can't have anything nice around the Hell-Hole, because it gets ripped down almost immediately. I don't expect my seaweed to last very long. The random kids that wander the halls like to destroy everything they see. As much as I would love to go on and on about that, I'm not. I think next time, I'll make the fish a little smaller, because the board looks a little crowded, doesn't it? I started out to make them half that size, but that seemed too small. Oh well, live and learn!

OK, time for Dancing with the Stars! I still had a bunch of school tid-bits I wanted to share, so maybe I'll come back later tonight.

*Don't forget, you can click on photos to enlarge them. You may want to do that to get the full cuteness of the babies' creations!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Random Crap

As I was getting out the car after running some errands, the last thing I heard on the radio was "The current temp is 89 downtown." WTF?!?! Seriously?! Oh, and it was 6:45 PM!!
Yesterday was my cousin's bridal shower. It was in Lake Forest which is waaayyyy north of here. It took us over an hour and a half to get there. When we left here, I had the air conditioning on in the car, and the bank said it was 81. As we drove, the sky went back and forth from sunny to cloudy, then drizzle, then sun, etc. About 10 minutes before we reached our destination, the sky opened up, and it was raining so hard, I could hardly see. My mother kept screaming, "Pull over! Pull over! I can't see!" To which I replied, "Who the hell cares, I'm driving!" She cracks me up! While we were at the shower, enjoying our time with family, the temperature dropped, and the rain continued. When we arrived back home, the same bank said it was 39. God, I LOVE Chicago! I had to put the heat on in the car while I drove to the bar to work. Today, it's been warm and muggy all damn day! I had the air on while I was running my errands. I'm sure tomorrow morning I'll have the heat on while we drive to school!
It has recently been announced that 132 CPS schools will be going year-round next year, the Hell-Hole being one of them. For the past few months, I've been saying that I can't go back because of this change (among MANY other reasons), but now I'm actually starting to rethink things. Our mayor has said that his goal is to have all 666 Chicago Public Schools on year-round schedules within the next few years. Like it or not, I'll be teaching year-round soon. There's simply no way I can make a switch to a suburban school. I would have to take a HUGE pay-cut (my girlfriend just did the switch this year, and took a $35,000 cut!) and obviously, I can't do that. I'm already working 3 freakin' jobs! So, if I'm going to have to stay in the city, I'm starting to think I might as well just stay where I am. There's pretty much the same crap in every school to deal with, although it would be glorious to have a different principal to work under. Plus, the VERY lazy side of me cringes everytime I even think about packing up everything I have in that room. It makes my physically sick just thinking about it! I would seriously have to hire a professional moving company to pack it all up and move it for me, because it's just too overwhelming for me to deal with. Yeah, I'm a loser, but it is what it is! So, bottom line - much to the dismay of my friends and family, I just may be returning to the Hell-Hole in August...

I Heart Chicago (Email of the Day)


1.. Grachki (grach'-key): Chicagoese for "garage key" as in, "Yo, Theresa, waja do wit da grachki? Howmy supposta cut da grass if I don't git intada grach?"

2. Sammich: Chicagoese for sandwich. When made with sausage, it's a sassage sammich; when made with shredded beef, it's an Italian Beef sammich, a local delicacy consisting of piles of spicy meat in a perilously soggy bun.

3. Da: This article is a key part of
Chicago speech, as in "Da Bears" or "Da Mare" -- the latter denoting Richard M. Daley, or Richie, as he's often called. Or "da Sox" or "da Hawks" but always "The Cubs"

4. Jewels: Not family heirlooms or a tender body region, but a popular name for one of the region's dominant grocery store chains. "I'm goin' to da Jewels to pick up some sassage."

5. Field's: Marshall Field, a prominent
Chicago department store. Also Carson Pirie Scott, another major department store chain, is simply called "Carson's."

6. Tree: The number between two and four. "We were lucky dat we only got tree inches of snow da udder night."

7. Over by deer: Translates to "over by there," a way of emphasizing a site presumed familiar to the listener. As in, "I got the sassage at da Jewels down on Edie, over by deer."

Kaminski Park : The mispronounced name of the ballpark where the Chicago White Sox (da Sox) play baseball. Chomsky Park was renamed U.S. Cellular Field (da Cell)

9. Frunchroom: As in, "Get outta da frunchroom wit dose muddy shoes." It's not the "parlor." It's not the "living room." In the land of the bungalow, it's the "frunchroom," a named derived, linguists believe, from "front room."

10. Use: Not the verb, but the plural pronoun 'you.' "Where use goin'?"

11. Downtown: Anywhere near The Lake, south of The Zoo (Lincoln Park Zoo) and north of Soldier Field

12. The
Lake: Lake Michigan (What other lake is there?) It's often used by local weathermen, "cooler by The Lake."

14. Braht: Short for Bratwurst. "Gimme a braht wit kraut."

15. Goes: Past or present tense of the verb "say." For example, "Den he goes, 'I like this place'!"

16. Guys: Used when addressing two or more people, regardless of each individual's gender.

17. Pop: A soft drink. Don't say "soda" in this town. "Do ya wanna canna pop?"

18. Sliders: Nickname for hamburgers from
White Castle, a popular Midwestern burger chain. "Dose sliders I had last night gave me da runs."

19. The Taste: The Taste of Chicago Festival, a huge extravaganza in Grant Park featuring samples of Chicagoland cuisine which takes place each year around the Fourth of July holiday.

20. "Jeetyet?": Translates to, "Did you eat yet?"

21. Winter and Construction: Punch line to the joke, "What are the two seasons in
Chicago ?"

22. Cuppa Too-Tree: is Chicagoese for "a couple, two, three" which really means "a few." For example, "Hey Mike, dere any beerz left in da cooler over by dere?"
"Yeh, a cuppa too-tree."

23. 588-2300: Everyone in
Chicago knows this commercial jingle and the carpet company you'll get if you call that number -- Empire!

24. Junk Dror: You will usually find the 'junk drawer' in the kitchen filled to the brim with miscellaneous, but very important, junk.

25. Southern
Illinois : Anything south of I-80. This is where Smothers' is from....

26. Expressways: The Interstates in the immediate Chicagoland area are usually known just by their 'name' and not their Interstate number: the Dan Ryan ("da Ryan"), the Stevenson, the Kennedy (da "Kennedy"), the Eisenhower (da "Ike"), and the
Edens (just "Edens" but Da Edens" is acceptable).

27. Gym Shoes: The rest of the country may refer to them as sneakers or running shoes but Chicagoans will always call them gym shoes!
  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago ...
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago ...
  • If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago ...
  • If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago ...
  • If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago
  • If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago
  • If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago
  • If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago.
  • If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly", you live in Chicago .
  • If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Chicago friends & others, you live or have lived in Chicago .
The "slang" dictionary had me crying, I was laughing so hard! The second part of the email might have been posted here once before, but it's still funny, nonetheless.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Joe should have just said "no"....

I just totally stole this from my Bloggy Buddy, Karen. It made me spit on my computer!! For those of you youngsters out there, you might not even know who the hell Joe Cocker is, but the rest of you old farts (like me!) will thoroughly enjoy this!

Wanna know why I'm so cranky?

I just got home from school, it's about4:30, and my widget says it's still 82 God-blessed degrees outside!!!!!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


OK, it's been pretty rainy here lately. Plus, the temperature dropped over the weekend. Monday night we were expected to have a low in the 30s and snow. Freakin' snow! (In the windup, it didn't snow, but it was cold as hell.) Today, it warmed up quite a bit (60s) and by Friday, we are supposed to hit 80. Seriously?! I'm already annoyed. It was too warm for me today, and it was only in the 60s. Yeah, I know, I'm weird. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - I think I was a penguin in a previous life!

I'm a Proud Mommy

Stud was appointed Vice President of Anime Club today! How cool is that? He's very excited about this, as am I. I can't wait to see how he handles the responsibility. This would be the very club he petitioned to let girls join (so that The Girl could be member!). I'm sure girls will be openly welcomed next year, if he has anything to say about it. ;-) (HOLY CRAP! Did I just imply that he and The Girl will still be dating then?! Yikes!)

I've never posted about his talent in the art department, have I? Perhaps I will scan some of his drawings and post them here to give you a taste of what he can do. I find myself being more and more impressed with his drawing. I think the fact that most of these drawing are done during class (!) negates any good feelings I may have about them, though! I have to remind myself to focus on the beauty and talent sometimes, ya know?

Lucky 8

At some point last week, I was tagged by my bloggy buddy, The Girl Next Door. (I started this days ago, but tonight is the first chance I've had to finish this post.)

Here's my Lucky 8

8 Things I'm looking forward to:
1. June 12 (the last day of school!!!)
2. SUMMER VACATION! (perhaps that's redundant?)
3. This Saturday (I'll be attending a bridal shower for my "baby" cousin, who lives in Minnesota, so we never get to see her. Another cousin, who also lives here, is having a shower for all her "Chicago Cousins.")
4. Going to Michigan this summer with Stud Muffin and his best friends.
5. Seeing what kind of man Stud grows up to be. (Ok, I'm getting a little deep here, right?)
6. Retiring from CPS (which I can technically do in about 6 years. woo hoo!)
7. Getting some good sleep tonight.
8. Getting into some kind of shape thanks to my Wii Fit.

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Worked in the Hell-Hole all day.
2. Picked up Stud Muffin and his best friend from school.
3. Went grocery shopping.
4. Made a delicious dinner (lentils, smoked sausage, steamed broccoli, bruschetta and toasted crustini)
5. Enjoyed that dinner with Stud Muffin and KC, my brother's on-again-off-again girlfriend (who I couldn't love more if she was my biological sister!!)
6. Missed two of my favorite shows (Dancing with the Stars and Biggest Loser) because...
7. I played with the Wii Fit with KC for a couple hours.
8. Happily crawled into bed, and snuggled into my flannel penguin sheets!

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Snap my fingers and lose 100 pounds.
2. Quit my job.
3. Grow about 4 inches.
4. Buy a new car.
5. Open my own preschool/daycare.
6. Look into a crystal ball and see what Stud's future holds.
7. Wear a bikini.
8. Find true love.

8 Shows I Watch:
1. Desperate Housewives
2. Brothers & Sisters
3. Dancing with the Stars
4. Biggest Loser
5. Lost
6. Ugly Betty
7. Grey's Anatomy
8. The Doctors

8 People I Tag:
OK, I'm not tagging anyone. There's no reason to make extra work for anyone, right? If you want to do it, do it. If not, no sweat. I'm just glad I finally finished it, as I was feeling a bit like a slacker.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Email of the Day

My younger readers might not appreciate this much, but those of you that are closer to my age probably share my love of Johnny Carson. This particular clip features Buddy Hackett, who always made me laugh. I have no idea why this cracked me up enough to post it here, but I hope it makes you giggle, too.

Thanks, Pops!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Ultimate Peep Show

I'm pretty sure I "borrowed" this from Jen last year around this time. It still cracks me up!

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today is my daddy's 66th birthday. I'm going to recycle two of my favorite pictures of him that I've posted here before. We're going to celebrate at the bar later tonight.

Daddy and Me at Kiddie Land (I was about a year old)
Daddy and Stud Muffin (I'm pretty sure Stud was around 6 here) He REALLY loves his grandpa. He's constantly going around saying, "Grandpa oozes awesomeness!" This photo is currently Stud Muffin's background on his computer.
Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you with all my heart!

Email of the Day

It's so great to know that such a big company has such a big heart.... (Not for the little ones!)

Friday, April 10, 2009

I couldn't help it...

I just lifted this from M. Sorry, it made me giggle!

Things that make you go hmmm....

Does anyone else check their "followers" on a daily basis like I do? I mean, it's right there on the side, it's not like I have to do anything special to see them. I lost a follower since last night. Hmmm...I wonder what that's about? Have I offended someone? Did I say/do something wrong? Why do I even care? I wish I could say I didn't, but it bothers me, nonetheless.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Email of the Day

I've received this a couple of times now, but when it landed in my inbox again, I knew I had to share it with my Bloggy Buddies. The quality of the picture is kinda crappy, but it's hilarious, nonetheless. It still made me laugh out loud. (NOT one for the kiddies!)

Monday, April 6, 2009

Public Service Announcement

Classes for Men at

by Friday, April 10, 2009


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours..
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Oh, did I forget to mention...

...that as of 2:45 this afternoon, I'M ON SPRING BREAK!!! Woo-freakin'-hoo!! Oh, and even better--I'll be off the next week, too! This is the first time ever that Stud Muffin and I have two different Spring Breaks, so I decided, what the hell, I'm going to take that week off, too. I can not EVEN tell you how excited I am right now at the prospect of two weeks away from the Hell-Hole. I'll have plenty of time to come back and post a little about what's been going on, in between looking for a new job, that is. And, yes, this time I'm totally serious about doing that. But, that's all I'm going to say about this for now, because...WOO HOO! I'm on Spring Break!!

Aw, shucks....

My good buddy, BonDon, gifted me today with this award! Thanks, BonDon! I'm honored to be your BBF!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Aaannnddd...there you go!

I couldn't just leave it alone, could I? NOOoooo!!! I had to go down and play with Stud Muffin. One of the "extra" things I bought Tuesday was the game called Wii Play, which has table tennis, air hockey, billiards, shooting range, and something else I can't remember. (It came with a remote, which is how the guy talked me into buying it. It was only $10 more than the remote by itself, so basically, the game cost $10.) We played a bunch of those for a while, then we played Wii Sports (the game that came with the actual unit) and I totally over did it. We played bowling first. What a blast! Although, my elbow was killing me when we got to the third game. Then we moved on to baseball (I suck!) and tennis (I suck!). THEN, we boxed! Holy crap! We only went three rounds, and my arms were SCREAMING for mercy. They're still burning. Holy crap, what a workout! The last game we played was golf, which allowed my arms to cool down just enough for me to notice that my back was starting to tighten up. By the time we got to the third hole, I knew I had to stop. Way too much swinging and twisting going on for this B-A-D back. Right now, I'm waiting for the spasms to subside. It's not pretty....

Why, oh why, can't I ever do anything in moderation!?


OK, so Stud and I went down to the basement as soon as a got home to play with the Wii. (Yes, I DID do it twice in one day, thank you very much!) We actually took the time to make our Miis, which was fun. Anyway, according to this crazy ass game, I've lost 8.2 pounds since Tuesday! What the hell?! Is that even possible? I'm thinking that I must have taken quite a dump this morning. Ok, sorry, I know, that's gross and childish, but seriously, what's up with that? I guess I shouldn't question it, but rather I should just embrace it.

Today I really worked it! I earned enough points to open a few more games, including Super Hula Hoop, which kicked my ass! Literally! My cheeks were killing me, my thighs were burning, ah it was great! Today was the first time Stud tried the Wii Fit, and he was cracking me up. He insisted on playing each game until he beat my score. He's down there right now trying to beat my score on the Step Game. For some reason, he's really having a hard time with it.

OK, I'm apologizing right now for posting so much about this, but I'm just so excited about it. I will try and refrain from anymore Wii posts. At least this week. Oh, who am I kidding, I'll try not to do another until tomorrow. But I can't make any promises....

My New Theme Song

I HAD to post this here, for all to enjoy! My dear Bloggy Buddy, C, left this on my comments a few days ago, and it nearly made me soil myself! Thank you, C!!!!!

chi chi loves wii wii,
so very much so,
she cant get to sleep,
she just cant say no,
anda one anda two..
pulled a muscle boo hoo...

chi chi loves wii wii...
she cant even pee pee...
no goo goo, no ga ga,
cant even go ca ca..

poor chi chi, and wii wii,
a pair they may be...
can she get fit wii style,
and NOT break a knee?

my chi chi, i love her,
a good friend, good mother.


I actually got my big ass out of bed a half hour early today, and did my Wii!! Yay! Today I tried the aerobic and balancing games. The hula hoop was a ton of fun (but Smiley warned me to be careful because she blew her knee out on it!) and so were the skiing games. Actually, I liked them all! The only one I didn't try was the running game, cuz this bod is NOT ready to do any running!! I think I'm going to go downstairs and try something else. Wow, look at me getting all physical and crap!