Saturday, January 31, 2009

Did you miss me?

OK, I know I've been gone for a while (which is why I did the "fake post" and threw up a video yesterday!!) but I've been busy. Yeah, I know, I'm always busy, but this week had a little extra sumpin' sumpin'.

(Ok, I can see this post is going to take a while, a customer just walked in, so I'll be right back.)

We've had family in from Italy for the past two weeks, which has added to my already long list of responsibilities these past couple of weeks. I feel really bad that I wasn't able to spend more time with them, but there just wasn't time. My father was able to take some days off work to show them around and do some things, but I couldn't do the same. They will be coming up here to the bar tonight, though, so at least I'll get to see them before they leave on Monday.

I actually wrote some things down the other day at school to share with you. Let's hope I can find the damn scrap of paper I wrote it on in my purse! I had to DIBEL the other kindergarten class (maybe I'll bitch about that in a minute...) so I had a couple of funnies from those babies, as well as my own precious sweethearts. Let me go look in the bottomless pit I call a purse....

The unit we are doing right now for literacy is about neighborhoods. So, the other day, we were talking about maps, and we were looking at a map of the United States. I was surprised that one of the babies actually knew we lived in Illinois. Usually, the babies just know we live in Chicago, but they have no idea what state we live in. We were talking about the states, which are the biggest, which are the smallest, etc. I asked the babies if any of them have ever been to another state, mostly because I knew I would get a few giggles out of their answers. (See how I'm always thinking of you guys?) I was telling them all the states I've been to, and showing them on the map. Then the babies started doing that frantic "my-hand-is-up-and-I'm-waving-it-around-like-crazy-and-I-can't-sit-still-just-call-on-me-already!" dance. I called on Miss T.P., who proceeded to tell me that she went to "White Castle Dells." At first I wasn't sure what the heck she was saying. Then I understood the White Castle part. It wasn't until the third time I asked her to say it that I realized what she was saying and that she was trying to say "Wisconsin Dells." I just burst out laughing, which thankfully didn't upset her, as she just laughed along with me.

As we continued this discussion, I asked the babies again to tell me places their parents have taken them. Mr. D.U. waved his hand around and blurted out"My momma took me to the Aid Office!" Good Lord! The babies are always good for a laugh!

***(1:00PM Sunday afternoon)
Speaking of laughs, one of the babies from the other kindergarten gave me this one while I was testing her. There is a component of the DIBELS test that tests the children's knowledge of letter sounds, and asks them to put these sounds together to form nonsense words. (The component is actually called "nonsense word fluency.") There are a couple of practice items, and I was going over one with a little girl. Actually, I was "cheating" a bit, because I was asking her what sound each letter made, as opposed to just letting her look at them and tell me, which is what they're supposed to do. Anyway, the practice item we were looking at was "lut." I asked, "What sound does l make?" She said, "eeellll." I then fight back a giggle and say, "What about u?" She says, "Me?" Bwah hahaha!!

One more little funny from Mr. D.U. This was the baby who, you may recall, told another student a while back, "Don't eehhhh at my lovely teacher!" Well, I was complaining (really to myself, but out loud) about a movie I had lent another teacher being returned without being rewound. Truthfully, the babies hear me complain about this quite a bit, as it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine! [I have quite an extensive collection of educational videos in my classroom, (Magic School Bus, Between the Lions, the Scholastic DVDs I mentioned recently, Sesame Street, etc.) which other teachers often borrow. All but the Between the Lions were videos I had for my son, then I later purchased the BTL, because it's absolutely one of my favorite shows on PBS. I started bringing the videos, and building this collection, because until pretty recently, we only had 3 prep periods per week at the Hell-Hole, so Fridays afternoons were often "Fun Friday." They would watch a 30 minute educational video while I worked on lesson plans/homework packets/recording grades/project preparations etc. Yeah, I suck, I'll admit it. But, there just wasn't enough time to get everything done during the week, and there was even less time outside of school, between working a 2nd job, raising a son, and going to grad school. So sue me!]

ANYWAY, I was bitching about a video not being rewound, again, and we started talking, again, about how when you borrow something, you should take good care of it, and return it in the same condition it was when you borrow it, blah, blah, blah. My kids know the sermon by now, and often have the discussion all by themselves. It's actually pretty funny. Well, getting back to D.U., he shared with us that "I always grrrr when people touch me stuff." Maybe you had to be there, and see the expression on his face when he "grrrrr"ed. Priceless! Good Lord! That was a looonnnggg way to go for a two-second story, huh? Sorry. But, hey, if you're still reading, that's your own damn fault! ;-)

Well, for a post that took me two days, this is boring as hell, isn't it? Too late to delete in now, since I put so much time into it. haha.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Monday, January 26, 2009

Why I oughta...

This "crap" was sent to me by dear cousin, who lives in Alabama, and loves to give us crap about living in Chicago, even though we all know he'd give his left nut to live here with us. (One day, when I have some time, I will write all about the story of how he joined our family. It's Oprah material, I swear!) See what you think of this.

Chicago: the city that "works"
Senators: Barack Obama & Dick Durbin
Representative: Jesse Jackson, Jr.Illinois
Governor: Rod Blogojevich (arrested Dec.9, 2008)
Illinois House leader: Mike Madigan
Illinois Attorney General: Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike)
Chicago Mayor: Richard M. Daley (son of Mayor Richard J. Daley)
The leadership in Illinois: .....All Democrat.
Thank you for the combat zone in Chicago: Body count, last six months:292 killed (murdered) in Chicago (vs. 221 killed in Iraq) (and they have Gun control)
State pension fund - $44 Billion in debt, worst in the country.
Chicago sales tax - 10.25% highest in country. (Look it up).
Chicago school system - rated one of the worst in the country.
Of course, they're all blaming each other. They can't blame Republicans because there aren't any. This is the political culture that Obama comes from in Illinois . And he's going to "fix" Washington politics for us? Good luck and may God help us.

Crap, right? I thought so....

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Where the hell am I?!

Does my widget seriously say 53? Freakin' 53?!? Did I lie down and wake up in freakin' California? I'm so confused! When I pulled in my driveway a couple of hours ago, the wind was howling at about 30 MPH, and the windchill must have been near zero, if not below. Here we are, just a few hours later, and it's 53?! I'm so confused :( I have to go turn the heat off, cuz it's a bit warm in here. Seriously.

For those of you keeping track, when I walked in this morning from work (at 5:18 AM!) I discovered that Asshole, aka Dorky Dog, had somehow gotten one of my Godiva bars from the middle of the goddamn table and ATE IT!!! That fuckin' dog is unbelievable!!! And you guys thought I was kidding when I said chocolate won't kill this bastard!! Ugh! At least he ate the one that was raspberry. I was gonna let Stud Muffin eat that one cuz he LOVES raspberry. Me, not so much. That dog is an asshole.

I'm going to try to go back to sleep, since Asshole only let me sleep about 4 hours before waking me up. Man, I'm gonna be a cranky bitch the rest of the day.....

***(1:05 pm) Ok, who is trying to drive me crazy? Now the widget says 13! Which makes perfect sense, of course, but what the hell? There must have been some sort of malfunction or mix-up. I'm just glad I'm not crazy!!!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I give up...

I've been fighting the urge to add this blog to my blog list for quite some time now. I mean, come on, it's called Fuck You, Penguin! How in the world can I condone such a thing?!?! (Those of you who may not be long-time readers are probably confused right now, huh? Suffice it to say, I have a sick, twisted obsession with penguins.) However, this blog is on the blog list on a couple other blogs I regularly read, and I can never resist clicking on it. It's actually a really hilarious blog, and I love it! I just couldn't stand the thought of seeing "Fuck You, Penguin" on the side of my blog every time I opened it. Well, I'm just going to have to deal with it, cuz I need to share it with those who have never read it. Be warned, you need to have a sick, warped sense of humor to truly enjoy it. And, it's all in good fun, so don't get your panties in a bunch!

It just keeps comin'....

The other day, my (ex) sister-in-law emailed me and asked if I would do her a favor. She has a friend who needed to interview a teacher for an assignment (her friend is attending DePaul, and wants to be a school counselor) Naturally, I said of course I would do it. The friend emailed me, introduced herself, and sent a consent form that I needed to sign and send back. Then we set up a time to do the interview over the phone. She called that night, we had a delightful conversation (she's very nice!) and the interview took less than 15 minutes, start to finish, even with the "chatting" we did in between questions. It really was no big deal, but, of course, she thanked me profusely, and I told her to feel free to call anytime if she needed anything else.

Yesterday, I got another email from my SIL letting me know that "something" was coming my way because she wanted to thank me for helping her friend. Oh, and that she slipped a little something in there for her favorite nephew, too. I emailed her back, telling her that was so completely unnecessary, but she had already sent it.

I just went out to get my mail, and found a package in my mailbox. Man, she works fast! This is what was in there for me: And this is what she sent Stud Muffin:
It made me laugh out loud. It's such a sweet thing that she did, but she has NO idea what a little Stud Muffin he really is. She still thinks of him as the sweet little boy she used to hug and kiss, and take to work with her every year. (Ok, admittedly, I have the same problem. CSJ and I had a delightful fight this morning about exactly the same thing. But that's another post...) I hope Stud Muffin appreciates the gesture, nonetheless.

Well, I'm off to write my thank you note, you know, for the thank you note.... sigh...I hope we don't get stuck in some weird vicious circle...

Friday, January 23, 2009

Ah, you know me so well....

My buddy, C, has the most hilarious buttons/pictures/cartoons running down the side of her blog. They crack me up every single day! I'm not sure if this is a new one, but I just noticed it today, and naturally, I immediately felt compelled to steal it!

OK, I need some help from my bloggy friends that use Blogger. I was going through my posts, and came across this post that I had forgotten to publish. There has got to be a way to move that post up to the top of the list, so it gets published as my latest post, right? Right now, it's all the way down on the day I originally wrote it, which means if I didn't put the link to it here, nobody would even know it's there. Does anyone know how to move or change the order of posts on Blogger?

Favorite email of the day...

This is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Chicago ...........

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in Chicago .

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you live in Chicago .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Chicago .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you live in Chicago .

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend, you live in Chicago .

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Chicago .

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day and back again, you live in Chicago .

If you can drive (75) mph through (2) feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Chicago .

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you live in Chicago .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Chicago .

If the speed limit on the highway is (55) mph -- you're going (80) and everybody is passing you, you live in Chicago .

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in 2 Chicago .

If you know all (4) seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you live in Chicago .

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you live in Chicago .

If you find (10) degrees 'a little chilly', you live in Chicago .

If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your Chicago friends & others, you live, or have lived, in Chicago.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thanks, JLo!!

My sweet bloggy friend, JLo, over at Almost Famous just did the sweetest thing! After reading this post, she felt compelled to do something for my babies. Today, I received a package in the mail with this in it:How adorable are these?! Monday morning, there are going to be two boys and two girls that are very happy. My dilemma now is deciding which babies to give these to. I have a pretty good idea already, and now I have a three-day weekend to make my final decision. A million thanks to you, JLo!!

The three-day weekend is thanks to a professional development day tomorrow. The kids are off, and we're supposed to attend one long, boring meeting after another. But, Homey don't play dat! (Holy crap, did I really just type that?!) My report cards are finished, which is what tomorrow is really supposed to be for, and I finished all my DIBELS testing today, so I don't feel the least bit guilty about taking a mental health day tomorrow. Ah, who am I kidding? I NEVER feel guilty about taking mental health days. ;-)

I've had 3 babies transfer out in the past week and a half, a total of 4 since we've come back from break. I'm back down to 20 babies. Now, of course, I just jinxed myself by putting it in black and white, but for now, I'll just enjoy it.

JLo wasn't the only one to bless my babies with gifts this week. I'm pretty sure I didn't post about this, but back before the holidays we had our "Principal for the Day" day at the Hell-Hole. It's something CPS does every year (do other schools do it, too?) We actually (finally!) had someone come who followed through on his promise to support our kids, and help us out. This year, our Principal for the Day was the president of Scholastic Books School and Library Group. He actually spent quite a bit of time chatting with me at our meet-and-greet breakfast, then later came to visit my class, and sat in on our read-aloud. He told me more than once to let him know what I needed/wanted for my class, and I figured I'd catch up with him later in the day to talk. Well, he ended up leaving before I had a chance to speak to him.*

A few weeks later, on our Real Men Read Day, who do you think came to our room to read? You got it, Mr. President! My kids loved it! If you aren't familiar with this program, Scholastic send books to the school for our kids (usually a different book for each grade level) then a male volunteer comes to read the book to the kids. The kids each receive a copy of the book that was read. The book Mr. President read to my babies was a book that my kids were familiar with thanks to one of those Scholastic DVDs I mentioned last week. The kids had a blast listening to Mr. President read, and he got a kick out of the babies, since they knew the story. He actually ended up staying for a while and observed/participated in our center time. The babies were thrilled!! And, I gotta say, he was impressed with how knowledgeable my babies are, as well. We were able to chat a bit during centers and I was able to give him an idea of what kinds of things I could use in my classroom.

Flash forward to yesterday (as this post is 10 times longer than it should be already!) I received two big boxes from Scholastic. One box had a collection of books specifically written for African-American children. The other box held the mother load!! There were 11 (11!!) sets of books and CDs. Each CD came with 5 copies of the book. Our listening center just doubled in size! Today, I received another box that held Scholastic's entire Kindergarten Read-Aloud Library. I noticed on the packing slip that I still have one more box coming. From what I can tell, it's Big Books. (Ok, I know my teacher friends just wet their pants, right?) In all, Mr. President sent me approximately $500 in books for my classroom. Can you believe it? I can't!!

*Ok, I'm really surprised I didn't write about this day, cuz I should have shared this story. Like I said, Mr. President left before I could talk to him again. My real plan was to talk to him about a job. After I dropped my kids off at our prep class, I went to find him, and that's when I heard he had to leave early because he had a meeting. I was feeling sorry for myself, and a little pissed at myself, too, for not at least getting his card. As I was walking back to my room, literally with my head down cuz I was pouting like one of my babies, I looked down at the stairs I was on, and there it was...HIS CARD!! Yes, seriously! I still can't believe it. Is that a sign or what?! I immediately emailed him, but never heard back. When he came to read to my class, I told him this story, and even he was taken aback, and agreed that it was a sign. He said he never got the email, but then he then told me I should call him anytime, since his cell phone number is on the card.

So far, I've resisted calling, but maybe if all my bloggy friends put in a good word/positive thought/prayer for me, I may be able to say I'm an employee of Scholastic Books soon!

Holy crap, is anyone still there?? I can't remember the last time a wrote a post this long. I gave myself a headache just rereading this! Since I don't have to work tomorrow (tee hee!) I'm off to watch the episode of The Bachelor I missed on Monday. Nighty night!

Reason #369 I hate my dog

Coming home to find this is what happened to the loaf of $4 Pepperidge Farm, Double Fiber, Whole Grain bread you bought the night before, that you were thinking about eating all day.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Funny cuz it's true #3...

All my "teacher friends" will especially appreciate this one, and you'll appreciate it ten-fold if you work here in Englewood with me ;-)

Now I know what went wrong...

I came across this in one of my files while looking for something else. It made me laugh just as much now as it did when I saved it!!! (click to enlarge it, you have GOT to read this!!) Check out the date in the corner!

Monday, January 19, 2009

18 years ago today...

...this happened. This is one of my favorite pictures of us from our wedding. And, yes, I WAS 12, thanks for asking.It's not as hard to look at this as it used to be. After all, without CSJ, there would be no Stud Muffin, right?

OK, you have my full permission to laugh at my poofy 90s hair, the poofy 90s sleeves (Hey, Suz, that's MY $300 dress!) but not so much my poofy veil, since my mommy made it. As a matter of fact, my mom made not only my veil, but the headpieces for all bridesmaids, all their jewelry, and ALL the flowers (including those for church, the centerpieces at the hall and corsages for all the aunts and boutonnieres for all the uncles. Keep in mind, I come from a very stereotypical BIG Italian family, so we're talking at least 15 of each!)

I hadn't planned to write more than two lines for this post, so I'm going to stop here. The one thing I did want to share was that on the day we got married, it was 65. Yes, really! (Today it's all of 19, a real heat wave from the past few days!) It was really strange. Everyone was walking around without their coats. It was also incredibly bright and sunny. At the time, we thought those were all signs that we were being smiled upon from up above. Ha! That's pretty funny now!!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

I won't keep you in suspense any longer... are the photos!

I even took a little snip of video for you. I happened to look across the room and saw this:

(Aw, crap!! I just looked at this, and you can't even see the video!! It was snow falling outside. I don't know why my videos always do this on Blogger. They're so dark, you can't see anything. Does anyone else have this problem?)

It was so beautiful, I had to capture it. (Although it's hard to see in this video cuz I'm too far away, and the room was very dark.) Say what you want about us "crazies" that live in Chicago, but look at the beauty we get to see everyday! I love it!

We had SOOO much fun last night! I must still be pumped up, because despite going to bed at 3, I woke up at freakin' 7:30!! However, I did wake up to some sore feet, and some major pain in my knees. My old, fat body can't take a whole night of dancing anymore :(

My favorite part of last night was watching the boys. It was awesome!! They were so free and so silly, and totally cut loose with each other. It's amazing what not having girls around will do to loosen the inhibitions of young boys. And, I'm not just talking about the three in our little "group," I'm talking about ALL the boys. Then, add to that the fact that they all were there with their mommies. You don't feel much safer than that, do you? It was just so great. Naturally, there were several moments last night that had me tearing up. (Thank God it was almost pitch black in there!)

The first slow dance we danced almost did me in, that's for sure. For as long as I can remember, my son and I have called Rod Stewart's Have I Told You "our song." I used to sing it to him, I guess as a lullaby, from the time he was born almost. As he got a little older, he used to sing it to me. God, that was so adorable. (OK, the water works are starting...) We agreed years ago (well, as much as a 5 year old can agree!) that we would dance to this song at his wedding. (I realize it's a 'love song,' but the words are completely appropriate for a mother and child. At least I think so...)

Anyway, that was the first slow dance of the evening, so of course, we danced. As we were dancing, and I was breaking my neck to look UP at my baby, I suddenly had this flashback to him being a toddler, standing on my feet, dancing to this song, and I started to lose it. Like I said, luckily it was very dark in there, so he didn't notice. It was just such a perfect, beautiful moment.

The rest of the night was a blast! It was so great to see my baby let loose with his friends. Oh how I wish I could have taken video!!! He was hilarious! The pictures don't do him justice, you needed to see him in action. Although, in a couple of those pictures, you can see his tie flying from his dancing! I'm pretty sure he had as much fun as I did. Too bad I'm paying for it this morning. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to fill up my tub, and let those jets work their magic on this old body. But, first I'm going to sneak into my baby's room and give him a kiss :)


It's 1 am...

...and we're just getting home from the dance. (We stopped at my parents' afterward.) I'm too tired to write a proper post and download all the photos, but I just want to say that tonight was GLORIOUS!!! Magical, even. I had one hell of a great time with my baby boy!! I think he might just have enjoyed himself, as well. I will give you this little tidbit, though...(Now, keep in mind that we had already been dancing, so I look like crap, but my baby looks handsome as ever!!)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Holy Crap!

The widget says 23!! We're having a freakin' heat wave!!! There are 50 MPH winds howling away outside, though, so I don't know what the hell is going on around here.

Stud Muffin and I have a date tonight. It's the Mother/Son Dance at his school. I'm so excited! Hopefully, he'll let me take some pictures, cuz then I'll share them with all my bloggy friends tomorrow!! Hmmm, let's see, with this heat wave, I should go look for a sleeveless dress, right? ;-)

Friday, January 16, 2009

Funny cuz it's true #2...

I just totally stole this from Christine. It made me laugh out loud! Thanks goodness the babies are in gym right now, cuz their teacher is losin' it!!

Chicago Weather Humor
Compared to other cities, Chicago weather reactions .......
60 degrees
Floridians wear coats, gloves, woolly hats & put the car heater on. Chicago people sunbathe.
50 degrees
New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.Chicago people plant gardens.
40 degrees
Italian cars won't start.Chicago people drive with the windows down.
32 degrees
CHICAGO--NO PLACE LIKE IT! Distilled water freezes.Lake Michigan's water gets thicker.
20 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.Chicago people have the last cookout before it gets cold.
15 degrees
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.Chicago people throw on a sweatshirt.
0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.Chicago people lick the flagpole and throw on a light jacket over the sweatshirt.
20 below
People in Miami cease to exist.Chicago people get out their winter coats.
40 below
Hollywood disintegrates.Chicago's Girl Scouts begin selling cookies door to door.
50 below
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.Chicago people get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.
60 below
Microbial life survives on dairy products.Illinois cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
460 below - (Absolute Zero)
ALL atomic motion stops.Chicago People start saying... "Cold 'nuff for ya??"
500 below
Hell freezes over.The Chicago Cubs win the World Series.

I'm still cracking up! And, you all know that I didn't even bother to get out my coat until yesterday, when it was about -17! So funny!

Thanks, Christine!!

Letter MeMe

I never post Memes here, but you know, I got me some time today...

This is one from Clippy. Here's what she left me on her blog:
CTG:i am going to give you the letter A.cos i think i know one of your
categories already. and i don't want you to be bored today. oh no. :-)

So, I haven't got a clue as to what category Clippy is thinking of, unless of course she was thinking "asshole." We all know I have a bit of a potty mouth :) But, the rules of the meme say to write a list of 10 things you love that start with your letter. I can't say that I love assholes. Well, there is my ex-husband...

I'm not even posting the rules here cuz I'm not really doing the meme the right way. I don't want to assign letters, etc., I just want to play along with Clippy. So, here goes! (Keep in mind, these are in no particular order, other than the order they pop into my head.)

  1. Apples-the granny smith variety. I love how sour and crunchy they are, and they are the only apples I cook/bake with.

  2. Albums-I love me some music! Sadly, I'm old enough to actually have owned "albums." I probably still even have a few somewhere.

  3. ABCs-(does that count?) This one should be obvious, or I wouldn't have chosen this career path!

  4. Academia-(OK, I know I'm stretching it, but this letter is hard, Clippy!) I am considering starting another masters program, though...

  5. Asparagus

  6. Almonds

  7. Albacore tuna- Those three just hit me all at once. Think I'm hungry ;-)

  8. Apologies-when they're heartfelt

  9. Avocados-I could eat them every single day!

  10. Artichokes

Hmmm, do you sense a theme here? Most of those were food, weren't they? Well, it's almost lunch time. Plus, A was a really hard letter! I couldn't think of any A word that I could twist to mean my son :( Well, maybe angel? These days, that would really be a stretch!!

OH, wait! Clippy, were you thinking "alcohol?" I gotta tell ya, my family might own a bar, but we are by no means drinkers. Kinda funny, right? The only one that really drinks in my family (with any kind of regularity) is my mother. She loves her wine....typical dago!! I can seriously count on ONE hand how many times I've been drunk in my life. It's very rare that I drink while at the bar, cuz #1-I'm working! And #2-I've got anywhere from a 30-60 minute drive home, so I kinda need to be alert! But, I do love me some tequila. In or out of a margarita!! Occasionally I will indulge in a shot of Patron with my regular customers. But, only if it's early in the evening. If I'm out with the girls, we usually indulge in margaritas, but since I'm always the driver, I keep very close tabs on what I've had to drink. I usually stick to just one. It doesn't help that our favorite Mexican restaurant serves their margaritas in a fish bowl, though!! ;-)

As a matter of fact, my sister, my brother's girlfriend and I are supposed to go for Mexican and margaritas tonight. I have a feeling the sub-zero temps will cause my sister to ditch us, though. Wuss!! I'll let you know if/how it goes, since I know you'll be waiting with baited breath to hear all about it! Yes, I AM aware that I'm a goofy bitch, thanks for asking!

What the....?

It's even colder today than yesterday. My widget currently says
-14 at 9:35 am. Today 11 of the babies showed up, although they are not all the same ones as yesterday. I don't get it. Why did these parents make their children go out into this horrific weather? Just to be rid of them for 6 hours? In the interest of "keeping it real," I gotta tell ya, I'm a little annoyed. I was hoping for an almost empty classroom. I know, I'm terrible. It's the whole babysitting thing that annoys me. I would much prefer to actually be teaching my entire class, instead of letting these little rugrats simply "be" here. Does that make any kind of sense?

About half the babies are watching TV again, and half are doing center. Just so you don't think I'm a total loser, let me just tell you that the babies that are watching TV are watching one of many DVDs I have from Scholastic Books. They feature very well-known children's books that have been animated. Their favorite one to watch features Chicka Chicka Boom Boom which is their favorite book of all time. I have it on tape, CD and DVD. (I even have a blow-up palm tree that I got from Oriental Trading that we use to sing/read the book.) They would watch it 100 times in a row if I let them! Right now they're watching How Do Dinosaurs Say Goodnight? So, I feel a tiny bit better knowing that they are at least being exposed to quality children's literature. (Ok, am I the only buying this?)


Well, I got a phone call around 7 last night letting me know my son's school would be closed today. That means I have a little extra time this morning, since I don't have to drive him to school. And, what am I doing with that time? Sleeping an extra half hour? Doing some dishes maybe? Laundry? NO! I'm reading freakin' blogs!!! I need help....

I've been up for a while now, and the temp is all the way up to
-17 right now. God, I hope my babies stay home today! Not for me, but for them. Just about all of them walk to school. It's too cold for them to be out there even for 5 minutes. Oh, I forgot to share this the other day...

Tuesday morning, my little darling that I call "David" came to school, hung up his things, and went straight to his seat. Doesn't sound like a big deal, right? Well, for David it is, because he's usually a little bundle of energy, and likes to run around the room, and generally just makes a lot of commotion. When I realized he was in his seat, I took a good look at him, and noticed his face was slowing screwing up tighter and tighter. I asked, "What's wrong, David?" and he immediately burst into tears and held up his hands. I knew right away what the problem was. His hands were cherry red, and ice cold. We've all experienced that horrible burning/itching feeling of being on the verge of frost bite (don't they call that frost nip?). My poor baby! I grabbed his hands between mine, and instinctively started rubbing, but then remembered you aren't supposed to do that. I took him over to my sink and turned the warm water on, and let him put his hands in there. As I was helping him, D.B. comes in holding up one of HIS hands, and is already crying. So, I took his coat and stuff off, and had him go stand in the sink with David. What a way to start the day! At the end of the day, I dug through my lost & found box, and made sure they both had gloves to wear home. Neither one of them came yesterday.

Today is far colder than it was yesterday, so I wonder how many kids I'll have. Chicago Public School NEVER close, but the kids don't always come. I'm pretty sure I posted about this last winter, but our charming mayor basically went on TV last winter and said that we (teachers) are basically babysitters. He tried to explain why CPS never closes, and said something to the effect of how the parents who work need somewhere for their children to go during the day. Oh, ok, I see! Thanks for clearing that up for me. So, I spent years of my life and 10s of thousands of dollars on my education so that I can babysit! Yeah, thanks. Oh, and by the way, OUR PARENTS DON'T WORK!!! Only one mom from my room, and two dads work. I know this for a fact. Now, obviously, this doesn't apply to the entire CPS system, but it still irritates me that this is his rationale for not closing school. OK, I feel a major rant bubbling up to the surface, so I'm moving on...

Well, I suppose I should start getting ready for work. I'm going to bring some hot chocolate with me today for the babies. They'll love it. I have another Disney movie ready for today, too. What a waste of a day, don't you think? Like I said yesterday, I would so prefer for them to be watching movies and drinking cocoa in the warmth of their own home, but whatevs!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

I can NOT stop watching this!!!

My buddy Leslie posted this on her blog today, and I watched it three times before I stole it to post here. I have this bizarre condition that causes me to blubber like a big baby every single time I watch kids performing. ANY kids! My kid (although then it's REALLY bad, more like snot-filled sobbing...), my nieces, my students, kids at the Hell-Hole, kids I've never laid eyes on (like in this case), ANY kids. Then add to that a totally AWESOME performance, and I need to change my tear-stained shirt. Enjoy!

Ok, so I found this one, too, on Schooltube. It's the acapella version. How many of these little stars do you think will soon be on American Idol? Especially the little soloist!

Do you feel a draft?

OK, so it's 10 minutes to 9, the babies will be here in 10 minutes, and I had a couple of free minutes to read blogs. (Yes, I'm addicted! I need a 12 step program!) My weather widget says -9, which means it's warmed up since I left my house. When I woke up, the windchill was at -40, and by the time I left, it had warmed all the way up to -32. The only downside (PLEASE forgive me, Smiley!) was that the damn sun was blazing! I think I may be part vampire, cuz I can NOT stand it! I left Smiley a comment yesterday on a new theory I have about how we came to be such polar opposites regarding weather. She gets SAD, and I get whatever the hell the opposite would be. Hot, sunny weather makes me incredibly cranky and irritable. I crave cool, cloudy weather. I should be the one in Seattle, since it's my dream place to live!! Anyway, it occurred to me the other day that perhaps one reason I'm so repelled by the sun is that is usually triggers a migraine. So, maybe over the years, I've developed some kind of Pavlovian response to bright sunlight. What do you guys think? I'm I just a kook, or could there be something there? For the record, I feel the rumblings of a migraine going on right now. The sun is bad enough, but then to have it reflecting back off all that snow...yikes! Oh, and the other theory, developed by my family, is that I was a penguin in a past life, and that some of the DNA has lingered on. I adore cold weather and snow, and I love to swim (just not in ice water!). Plus, I waddle when I walk! tee hee! Not a bad theory... ;-) FYI, I did get out my coat this morning, but STILL got yelled at when I got here to school (by all my "mamas") cuz it was basically just thrown over me, not zipped up, and I didn't have a hat, gloves/mittens, or scarf on. Oh, and my hair was wet, like it is most mornings! OK, technically, it was frozen, but who's keeping track? Anyhoo, I still got scolded like a 5 year old. :( Keep in mind that I'm one of only about 5 white folks that ever step foot in this building. The rest of staff is black, and 100% of the students are black. They can NOT tolerate the cold, so they think I'm from another planet!!!

Oo, time for my babies. Later 'gators!

***Update 9:45 am***
OK, only 10 babies showed up today. Looks like a fun day coming. Good thing I brought a couple Disney movies in anticipation of this exact turnout :)

***Update 2 10:00 am***
I gave the babies a choice of doing centers or watching Tarzan (we just read the book) and they were split 50/50. So 5 are enjoying having centers all to themselves (there's usually 4-6 kids at a center, now it's just 1!) and 5 are enthralled with Tarzan. I forgot how old that movie was, since it came out when Stud Muffin was very young. Most of my babies have never seen it. They are completely wrapped up in it right now. Too cute!

***Update 3 12:30 pm***
First, can you tell I've got waaayy too much free time today, and I'm a little bored? God forbid I clean or organize something in this room!!! Anyway, after Art, the babies asked/begged to watch the movie during rest time (my favorite time of the day!) and of course I said, "Sure!" It worked out perfectly, since there was about 20 minutes left of Tarzan. We turned off the lights, and the babies snuggled up on the carpet together. And, I only have 8 now, because my two little ones went to preschool for the afternoon. After the movie ended, they asked to watch Blues Clues, so that's what they're doing right now. Looking at how cute they are right now, literally cuddling up together (mostly for warmth!) watching the movie, I suddenly started thinking, "Why the hell aren't they doing this at home? They could be on their own couch/carpet, under lots of blankies." But then I realized that it just wouldn't be the same as doing it here. I think this is how the rest of my day is going to go, since there's really no point in doing any new lessons with only 1/3 of my class here. I will be taking out the math manipulatives later, and letting them have math centers. But, overall, it's been one long day of play! You know, like what kindergarten used to be, before they had to learn to read and shit! tee hee!

BTW, the temp is all the way up to -5! Woo hoo!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Modge Podge

OK, I just cleared out a TON of crap I've been holding on to and meaning to post about. I also just cleared a ton of memory on my camera's memory card!!

On the last day of school before Christmas break, little T.R. was the first one to come in the room. As he's taking off is hat, scarf and coat, he says, "Aw, Mrs. L., I got a raw sweater on today!" (For those not up on the Englewood-isms, raw would be the equivalent of 'really awesome' or 'really cool.') He then takes of his coat and I see this:

How cute is this kid!? He always wears the cutest 'school clothes.' He usually wears a navy blue sweater vest over his white uniform shirt, and he always looks so cute. Apparently, on this last day before break, his mom decided he didn't need to wear his uniform. She opted, instead, for the Cliff Huxtable sweater!

This is a picture I snapped this morning as I was walking out to go to work. What do you think? There's at least a foot of snow on my furniture, right?

For those of you who are not Chicagoans, I thought you might get a kick out of this picture. This is what people do here after they spend an hour digging out a parking spot for themselves. You use your lawn furniture (or milk crates, or dining room chairs!!) to "hold" your spot. It's just unwritten law around here that you respect your neighbor's spot once the furniture goes out.
Ok, this is just a totally random picture, but let me tell you why I took it. For the past couple of days, Stephanie has been posting about the yummy dinners she's been making herself. She inspired me to take a picture of the dinner I made tonight. It really isn't that special, I suppose, but it tasted delicious! I had made a pork roast in my crock pot, seasoned to make carnitas with later. When I got home today from work, I was trying to figure out what I could make for dinner that wouldn't require me to go to the store (since it's a tad bit snowy and cold here in ChiTown today!). Long story short, I was able to scrounge up some tortillas, beans, cheese and salsa. I made... I don't know what to call it! Enchilada casserole? Mexican lasagna? After explaining to my son what was in it, he says, "So, basically, you made a burrito cake?" I kinda like that name. Especially since I started out wanting to make burrito bowls (a la Chipotle). I basically layered tortillas, like you would lasagna noodles, with the shredded pork, beans, cheese and salsa. I finished with a layer of tortillas, salsa (I used this awesome tequila lime salsa from Pace, and it's green, which is why you can't really see it) and cheese, and then baked it at 350 for about 30 minutes. It smelled like heaven! We ate it topped with sour cream. If I wasn't so hungry, I would have taken the time to shred some lettuce and chop some olives. And, if I had them, I would have diced up tomatoes and avocados! OK, I'm getting hungry all over again! I suppose I should have taken the photo BEFORE we ate it, huh?OK, so on to more boring things. I had a bunch of video clips, taking up room in my camera, that I had taken over the past couple of weeks to share with you guys. Especially those of you that enjoy seeing a little snow. The only problem is, I don't exactly remember when these were taken. I think this one is from, maybe, the week before Christmas? Notice that the screen is still on the door! I do like to get my fresh air... ;-)

This one might be from the next day...

I should be embarrassed that you can see what a complete mess my kitchen is, but what the hey. And, the stairs look horrid cuz they had all the tile stripped off of them during the basement remodel, and I have yet to have them finished. I'm planning on carpeting them, since I have a tendency to fall down them at least once a week. :(

OK, this one I know is from Christmas. I was trying to show how blustery it was. I think we were having 40 MPH winds that day. I was trying to capture the snow blowing off the roof of the garage.

Same day, just more video...

I have no freakin' idea why the hell I took this video. I almost deleted it, but then I realized it gives a pretty good snapshot of what my very typical Chicago neighborhood looks like. Notice all the Chicago bungalows, all in a row!!

OK, this video I took while driving home from my parents' house Christmas night. Well, technically, since it was after 4am, it was the day after Christmas. I'm pretty sure I posted about how bad the roads were that night. It kinda looks like the streets are wet, but they are actually completely covered in ice. It was like driving across a hockey rink!

This was from this morning.

OK, if you're still with me, you're a real trooper! This was probably one of the most boring posts I've ever done!! But, at least my camera is empty :)

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


...I just signed on to blogger to read my favorite blogs, and even I had to do a double-take at my weather widget. It says 2. 2!! My son and I just came in from an errand less than an hour ago, and we both wore hooded sweatshirts. Maybe it's just us....

DIBELS sentences

OK, I see I didn't remember exactly what A.L. said yesterday. Her exact quote was, "A meant is when your teeth stank, you put a meant in your mouth and it smells good!"

Most of the babies used meant as mint. Another word they used "wrong" was which. Naturally, they used "witch." All except for M.A., my resident genius. Her sentence was, "I don't know which one to choose."

Three different babies said, "A witch is evil." One little darling, T.R., had me laughing because HE said, "I am a witch." We both promptly had a fit of giggles as soon as he said it. He also later said, "I am a woman." Again, giggle fits.

A.L. gave me this gem for woman - "A woman cooks with her husband, and then lays around the house."

Twin Boy AND Twin Girl both heard "mitten" when I said meant. Twin Girl's sentence was - "A meant is like a glub." Poor baby, I laughed right in her face! Glub!!! Love it!!

My little pervert in the making, J.L., gave me, "You can look at a woman." (Ok, I'm kidding about the pervert part, but he's definitely gonna be a man!!)

I'd love to know what's going on at A.M.'s house. She told me, "You can hang your dog on the fence." I'm pretty sure she meant tie the leash to the fence, but that wouldn't have been as funny!

Back to A.L.'s cute statements. "A coach can make kids do stuff." (Suz, is that true!?)

One of the other absolutely RIDICULOUS words in this test is felt. (Well, maybe they're only ridiculous words for my students. I'm not sure.) You might remember that last time I wrote about it, most of the kids used this as the past-past tense (?) for "fell," as in, "I felt down." It was the same this time. However, A.M. did tell me, "I felt real bad." Well, gee, maybe it's cuz you hung your dog on the fence!! tee hee! One other baby did give me, "I felt bad." But, he obviously hadn't maimed an animal, so he didn't feel REAL bad. :)

Finally, one of my favorite little boys, J.W. almost made me sad when he gave me this one - "Nobody will play with me." I had to remind myself that at least he used the word properly, and earned himself 5 points. But, I didn't like hearing it from him. He told me today that his little sister got all the siblings in trouble and "now we're all on punishment." Jeez, I just hope that means no T.V. I few of the others immediately started chiming in and telling me how they get "whooped" with extension cords. Yikes! OK, I'm stopping this tangent in it's tracks!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Ugh, I'm so pissed at myself...

...I left a sheet at paper at school that had a bunch of notes for tonight's post. I started the Middle of the Year (MOY) DIBELS today. We were asked to give all the babies the Word Use Fluency (WUF) test today. You may recall this is the stupid component where I give the kids a word and then they use it in a sentence. Ugh! It's horrible! We've been practicing and practicing this concept, and I thought they had it, but then I gave the test. Yikes! Some of my most verbal/vocal babies totally blew it! The biggest problem is that some of these words are just so completely inappropriate for 5 year olds! One of the words is meant. All but one baby used it as mint. The funniest sentence for this word was given to me by my newest baby, Miss A.L. She, like many of the babies, wanted to define each word I gave, rather than use it in a sentence. Most of the sentences I wrote down today to share with you are from her. Anyway, this is what I got for meant: A meant /mint/ means when your teeth stank, you eat a meant and they smell better. How cute is she?!

I'm gonna really try to remember the paper tomorrow so I can share the rest of the sentences with you. Not so much cuz you care (cuz I know most of you don't give a rat's ass!) but for the simple reason that I actually took the time to write them all down!

OK, off to watch The Bachelor. Yes, I know I'm a loser, but I can't help it. Hey, it's my only escape all week, leave me alone!! And, more than likely, the minute I sit on the couch, I'm gonna pass out anyway, and I'll have to wait til Sunday to watch it online.

Oh, one last thing. I added a weather widget over there in the corner for all to enjoy. Especially all my bloggy friends who are in California and Florida, and any other place that's warm right now. We have a blizzard warning in effect right now. We're supposed to get snow Monday, Wednesday and Friday, then below zero temperatures on Tuesday and Thursday. Not windchills below zero, actual temperatures below zero! At least that means that I probably will have lots of babies out this week. They don't usually come to school when we get a lot of snow or really cold weather. Maybe I'll have an easy week. We'll see...

I had 30 seconds free so....

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a
Creative Romantic Money Manager

Sunday, January 11, 2009

My Interview with Jason

A while back, Jason posted this on his blog, and asked if any of his readers would like to be interviewed. Since I have buttloads of free time on my hands (hahaha!) I said:

ChiTown Girl said...

Sure, what the hell! Interview me!

So, here goes nothin'!


1. Assuming you bowl, after you release the ball and it starts to go towards the gutter, do you stand and move your arms the other way while yelling NO!!! Back over this way!!! Hoping the ball hears you and moves back to the center of the alley???
No, since I'm actually a pretty decent bowler. I do, however, use this little trick - when there's only one pin left standing, and it's a bit wobbly, I jump as hard as a can, hoping this will send a tremor powerful enough to knock the pin over. Sadly, this has actually worked once or twice.

2. If you could have free, unlimited service for 5 years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, or a masseuse which would you choose?"
Absolutely, hands-down, without a doubt housekeeping!!! I suppose I should cut myself some slack since everyone knows I don't have much "free time" in between mommy-ing and working 3 jobs, but I'm afraid I'm gonna end up on an episode of Oprah soon :(

3. Eating at an Italian restaurant, someone in your party orders a glass of milk to accompany her dinner. Knowing there is no particular reason why she shouldn't order a proper glass of wine, do you point and laugh? Or not?
HELL no! I'm basically a disgrace to my people, as I'm probably the only Italian out there (100% Italian, by the by!) who doesn't like wine. As a matter of fact, I hate it. So, I would NEVER give anyone a hard time about not ordering wine.

4. What is your worst vice?
Jeez, I have many. Where do I start? Chocolate, sweets, blogging/reading blogs, men that are bad for me (although, thankfully, I haven't had time for them in a long time!)...ok that's enough for now ;-)

5. What is your best characteristic?
I suppose it sounds cliche, but I'm a people-person. I love being the social butterfly. I suppose that's why I love being at the bar so much, despite the damage it is doing to my body! I've been the social committee chairperson at every school I've ever worked. I spent over $30,000 remodeling my basement just so that I can throw killer parties. (Sadly, I have yet to find the time to do it, other than the couple of get-togethers I let my son have.)

OK, I'm not going to follow Jason's rules completely. He said we should ask our readers to let us interview them, but that's just too big a time commitment for me right now.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Too funny

Oh my holy hell! I just found this draft, which I obviously never posted. I was laughing so hard, I think that's why I didn't post it at the time. I copied it from this blog, which is over on my blog list. Enjoy!

Grannies: Gotta Love ‘Em

Grocery Store West Texas, USA

(A new employee informs me that she spotted a little boy sneaking some candy in his pants. I confront the boy and an older woman about it.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Hey, kiddo, what’s in your pocket?”

Boy: “Nothing!”

Granny: “Oh, h***, again?! Boy, if you don’t put that d***ed candy back, that lady gonna call the po-po on you! And I ain’t gonna stop her none.”

(The boy, crying, hands me 2 candy bars and a handful of suckers. I thank the lady, and get back to work. A few minutes later, the boy’s mother comes up to me.)

Mama: “Is that the b****?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Mama: “Aint’ talking to you.”

Boy: “Yes, mama.”

Mama: “Girl, you being rude to my son?”

Me: “No, ma’am.”

Mama: “So why you take away his candy?”

Me: “Because it wasn’t paid for.”

Mama: “Says who? I got him that candy!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s at least 100 degrees outside, and your boy had unmelted chocolate in his pocket. He didn’t bring that in with him. Besides, he was seen taking the candy off the shelf.”

Mama: “What? Who said that?” *turns to the other cashiers* “Which one of you a**holes told on my boy?”

Me: “Excuse me, but that’s not important.”

Mama: “What’s your point, then?!”

Me: “The point is, your boy was caught stealing.”

Mama: “Forget about the d***ed candy, you nosy b****! Ain’t none of your business!”

Me: “Ma’am, your son was spotted shoplifting, which is a crime. You’re lucky I don’t report him.”

Mama: “You stupid b****! I don’t give a flying f*** about the candy!”

(She raises her hands as if to hit me.)

Me, to a coworker: “Call the manager, he should be in by now.”

(Just then, Granny appears out of nowhere and smacks her daughter with her handbag.)

Granny: “WHAT THE H*** YOU DOING, GIRL?” *continues to smack and berate her daughter* “Upsetting people like that! No common sense! S***! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!”

Mama: “But, Ma–”

Granny: “SHUT YOUR MOUTH GIRL! GET IN THE D***ED CAR!” *turns to me* “I’m so sorry about that. She crazy, I swear to God. She’ll never come back in here, I promise.”

Me: “…”

Granny, to daughter: “CAN’T TAKE YOUR CRAZY A** NOWHERE! S***!”

(She walks out like nothing happened, and true to her word, I’ve not seen that lady since.)

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Just for the record... 2:00, on the dot, I grabbed both of their drinks and tossed them. Yeah, I guess that might have been a bitchy, but seriously, WTF?! I started cleaning at about 11:30, thinking, like I said, I'd be able to leave at midnight. I did everything I could think of to try and give these two a hint, other than come right out and say, "GET OUT!" At 1:30, I asked the guy if he could please close out his tab so I could balance my drawer, and his response was to say, "Sure" then he ordered one more beer! I almost threw it at him!


OK, the bar is absolutely DEAD tonight. There's not even enough in the tip bucket to cover the gas it took to get out here. Who knows, maybe this is a typical Monday, but how would I know? I'm a little surprised it wasn't busier, since it's Martini Monday (all martinis are $5). Maybe all the girls found out my brother was out of town, so they decided to stay home tonight. Whatever. It is now about 1 am, and the only people that have been here since about 10:30 are a couple of friends (a girl that lives upstairs and her male friend). It doesn't seem like they're in any hurry to get the hell out of here, much to my dismay. I totally thought I'd be closing up early, like midnight, so I could get home at a half-way decent time, but it looks like I'll be here until 2 am with these two. I mean, seriously, don't either one of them work?! I'm gonna be sooooo cranky tomorrow. It'll be at least 3 before I get home, then I'll be up at 6 to start my day at the Hell-Hole. Tomorrow is also one of my long days, as I work Job #3 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. That brings my work day to 5 pm. Thank God I was able to get my brother's girlfriend to come open the bar tomorrow for our bartender. If I had to open, I would have just stayed and worked. In afternoon/rush hour traffic, it takes me 45 minutes to an hour to get here from my house. I sure as shit wasn't going to drive an hour here, then an hour home, just to let our bartender in, only to turn around and come back at 2 am to lock up!! Thanks, KatCra, I love you, Sista!!

The other plus is that my brother's girlfriend (KatCra) will hang around and keep an eye on things for the night. (This is definitely another post, but I totally don't trust our bartender, and I'd prefer if she wasn't left alone in the bar!!) She'll also be taking down all the holiday decorations. Most importantly, she'll be giving me the night off. I think if I had to work all 3 of my jobs in one night, it might just push me over the edge!! And, I swear to God, if my brother ends up breaking a leg on this trip, I'll break the other when he gets home! (Did I mention he's on a snowmobiling trip in California?) I'd have to take a freakin' leave of absence from work if that happened. OK, actually, maybe that's not such a bad thing..... ;-)

OK, I've got to figure out a way to start pushing these two out the damn door! I'm tired and cranky :(

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Don't worry...

...I'm still alive. Yeah, I know you were very worried, but I'm ok ;-) I wish I could say I've been doing nothing with my Christmas break other than being one with the couch, watching movies, reading books, etc. THAT would be my dream break! But, alas, that is NOT the case. By now, if you're a regular reader, you can guess what I've been doing. Yep, you win! I've been WORKING!!! My brother's plane literally just took off, and I now have the pleasure of flying solo at the bar until Wednesday. And, yes, I DO go back to work Monday, thanks for asking! And, no, I DON'T know how I'm going to do this, but I can't worry about it right now. As a matter of fact, I can't even write anymore right now, cuz I have to start getting ready for my evening. I'm hoping it's quiet for the first couple of hours (like it usually is on Saturday) so I can catch up with you then. In the meantime, I need to go be that mom, as Stud Muffin has a lady friend over. Yeah, that's a whole other post.....

OH!! I just got this in my email this morning!! Enjoy!

Is is just me, or does the girl doing the voice-over make this sound like a sex-chat-line commercial!?