Happy Birthday, Ma!

Today is my mother-in-law's actual birthday. Wow, 80 years young! I still don't have any pictures to share, although I just realized last night that CSJ may have some on his camera. I'll look into that tonight.

Last night Brian graduated. Stud, CSJ and I attended the ceremony, along with my mother and mother-in-law, and Brian's mother. (She arrived from Hong Kong Tuesday night) Somehow, we all were split up at the ceremony. Stud sat on the floor with my MIL, in the VIP section (and by VIP I mean handicapped/elderly/people who couldn't climb stairs). My mom and Brian's mom sat on one side of the auditorium, directly across from CSJ and I on the OTHER side of the auditorium. The two moms went in while I was waiting for CSJ to go park the car. They wanted to make sure they could save seats. Well, that was great, except I forgot to tell them which side of the auditorium Brian told me to sit on, so we'd be closer to him. When CSJ and I went in, we went to the side Brian told me to, but then we couldn't find the moms. CSJ found them just as the graduates started walking in, so they basically were stuck. Eh, in the windup, it was fine. Brian's mom walked down to the floor to take pictures anyway.

I think the seating actually worked out for the best. The whole night was so bittersweet for us. I know I (STILL!!) haven't shared the scoop, but you may remember that Stud started college this past January. That means he missed out on participating in this ceremony. It was best, I think, that CSJ and I sat alone, because neither one of us had to pretend it wasn't killing us. I'm trying NOT to dwell on the whole situation, so I'm going to move on.

I'm so excited that we have a long weekend. I, actually, am half-way through my SIX-day weekend. Let me just share the highlights....

Wednesday morning, on the way to work, I managed to wreck the RENTAL car I've been driving since Stud's car was smashed a few weeks ago. Yeah...good times, good times... When I went to Enterprise to switch cars, they told me that Enterprise will probably total the car because of the extent of the damage.

Anyway, I never went to work on Wednesday, since I had to deal with this accident. I spent almost 2 hours filing the report at the police station, then I went straight to my insurance agent's office, where I spent another 2 hours (mostly because they're friends of mine, so we were chatting) then it was off to Enterprise to get another car. By the time all was said and done, it was the end of my work day! I ended heading over to my mother's because my brother was there with my monkey. Yay!

So, moving on. I had already taken today off because I had plans with a friend whose birthday is also today. After I ended up taking Wed. off, too, my insurance agent friend convinced me that I should just take Thursday off, as well, and make it a loonngg weekend. He didn't need to suggest that twice! I spent the day with my baby, running errands and just hanging out before it was time for graduation.

So far this morning, I've been enjoying the gorgeous weather. I'm about to go outside and plant the tomato and basil plants we bought yesterday. I need to do it before it gets too hot. The past few days have reached the high 80s, low 90s, and today is also expected to hit the 90s. Right now, it's in the high 60s, which is perfect. I'd better get going, huh? It's almost 8am!!

I'll try to come back later with some photos. I'm skipping today's NaBloPoMo post because it was really stupid. You're welcome. :)

And, finally, a very happy 21st anniversary to my dear friends Suz & Coach, and Karen & Gregg!!

May 4, 2012

Friday, May 4, 2012
Who wouldn't let you play with them as a child?

Honestly, I can't think of a single person. Then again, maybe that has something to do with the previously mentioned fact that I always had my nose in a book. I probably wouldn't have even noticed if someone said they didn't want to play me.

~~~~

My baby was involved in another accident today. It's not good. It is entirely possible that his car is totaled. We spent some time in the ER, and thank God he's fine. He does have whiplash, and the doctor warned him that he's going to be in a lot of pain tomorrow. They sent him home with some muscle relaxers and some pain meds.

My poor baby. Again, he was not at fault here. He was rear-ended by an elderly man who hit him so hard, he slammed into the taxi in front of him. The car was smashed from both ends. The front and back bumpers are popped, his trunk is popped and won't stay closed, there's a big crease on the rear passenger side, his hood is smashed, the grill is destroyed, his front license plate was basically embedded into the back of the taxi, the front passenger door won't open, the drivers seat is broken, even the freakin' glove box won't close. I mean, HOLY CRAP!

Of course, I'm thanking God over and over that he is fine, because I know it could have been SO much worse. He walked away. He's sore, and it's going to get worse before it gets better, but he's still here to feel that pain. Trust me, I am thankful.

I'm going to be praying that the car isn't totaled. I mean, come on, we JUST got it!! I'm sad for my baby. He's already missing his car (that he named Marla, by the way) and he's hoping he'll be getting her back. Thankfully he'll be too drugged up this weekend to worry about it too much. When the doctor said, "I want you to just take it easy for the next few days. Just lay around and rest." his reply was, "Well, that shouldn't be a problem!" I was thinking, "Yeah, it'll be like every other weekend, you lazy bum!"

Stud took a million pictures of his car right after the accident, so if he shares them with me, I just may share them with you. In the meantime, please send positive thoughts this way for the car to be repairable. Stud thanks you!

Griping

Ok, I didn't bitch about this Saturday when I noticed it, but now I just have to. As we were driving from my in-laws Saturday afternoon, I noticed a freakin' chip in the windshield of my, I mean Stud's, new car. ARGH! I was just so annoyed!! I knew it had to be fixed ASAP, especially because our temperatures are supposed to plummet this week, down to the 20s. (My happiness about this is a whole separate post!) I didn't want to take a chance on waking up to a huge crack across the windshield

We got home and all started getting ready for the concert. While I was showering, etc., CSJ called a few local places to get prices and so on. We wound up making an appointment with a place just a few blocks away from the house. They said they'd be out Monday morning. Great! "We'll call in the morning when we're on our way." Super!

This morning, CSJ stayed home to wait for them. They had told me on Saturday that they would be there between 8-8:30. Well, 8:30 came and went, no call. 9:00, nothing. By 10, CSJ started calling them. It was a series of phone tags calls, which really pissed him off, especially because he blew off work to wait for them. It's nearly impossible for me to do anything from work because a)I'm busy TEACHING and b)I couldn't get a signal on my phone even if I wanted to call someone.

I called home when my class went to lunch and spoke to Stud. "Did they ever show up?!" "Yeah, about 5 minutes after Dad left for work." Ugh!! Whatever, they made it. I just hope they did a good job. I had left cash for Stud to pay for the repair - $80. Um, yeah, don't even get me started!

Well, if all that wasn't aggravating enough, when I got home from work, I checked my email, as usual, and almost screamed when I opened my Groupon email. One of the deals today was - ready? WINDSHIELD REPAIR!! Oh, and the BEST part? The deal was for $19!!! We paid FOUR times that! AARRGGHH!!!!

There was one teeny tiny thing that made me feel a little better, though. One of the other million emails in my inbox was one from the car dealership. It was a survey about our overall satisfaction with our experience last week. Well, they just happened to catch me at a bad time. Boy, did I unload!

My top four complaints were this:

1. While test driving the car, CSJ noticed the brakes were a little wonky. We were assured they were going to fix that before we left. Not so much. As I mentioned last week, I still felt something weird when I drove home that night.

2. As part of our "negotiations," CSJ got our sales guy to agree to sending us home with a full tank of gas. Instead, we had 1/4 tank. I didn't know CSJ made that deal, and since I drove the car home, he didn't know it wasn't taken care of until it was too late.

3. The fact that it cost us another $90 for a spare. (Bullshit, I say!)

4. The fact that we now had to spend another $80 to fix the windshield.

The last thing on the survey was a box where they asked what they could do to make your experience better. I wrote, "Reimburse me for the $90 key, and the $80 windshield repair." I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, right? If nothing else, I was able to get it off my chest.

Ugh...

...this kid is costing us a fortune!! Because the "new" car is used, we were only given one key last night. No big deal, we thought, we'll just go get a copy made. We were pretty psyched that the key didn't have one of those chip-thingies on it, so we figured it wouldn't be more than a few bucks. Yeah, well, we were wrong.

We went to the local Ace Hardware this afternoon, and it turns out that there is, indeed, a chip. It's in the plastic "head" of the key. So, in the windup, the spare cost us another $89! So help me God, if this kid loses a key, I'm gonna take a limb!

From Ace, we went to the store and got seat covers, air fresheners, and looked at mats and scrapers. I decided to get the mats and scraper at Sam's Club, since I like what they had better. Last month I had bought Stud a really nice emergency car kit at Sam's, in anticipation of the new car arriving by Christmas. It even has an emergency shovel, which my fellow Chicagoans know is a vital part of a ChiTown winter.

While we were at the store, I picked up a couple of containers of cotton candy for Brian, since he loves it. When Stud saw it, he had the unmitigated gall to ask, "You didn't buy ME anything?" I had to remind myself that he sometimes has a dry, twisted sense of humor, so I wouldn't punch him right in his mouth!!

CSJ surprised me this afternoon by leaving work early, planning out the errands we had to run, and fitting a nice dinner and some alone time into the plan. I guess there are some advantages to him still having an apartment. ;-) It's kinda hard to have meaningful alone time when there are always teenagers in the house. It was a really nice evening. But, now I'm completely exhausted, and I need to hit the sack. I'm not sure how many more of these long days I can handle. By now, most of you know what happens when a certain little penguin doesn't get her 8 hours of beauty rest for a few nights. For those of you who don't, let's just say - it ain't pretty!

The Newest Member of Our Family

I just drove this little puppy home from the dealer. It's technically MY car, although we bought it for Stud. This kid has no idea how lucky he is. At least I don't think he does. But, he needs a car to get back and forth to school, and hopefully a job soon! Actually, he's been working at the bar, cleaning, for a couple of months now. My brother is hoping he'll be able to start coming 3 days a week now. That should be just enough pay to cover car insurance and gas.

This car is so freakin' cute!! I'm seriously thinking about keeping it for myself, and giving Stud my truck. Yeah, he's thrilled...

Oh, c'mon already!!

I've been feeling hot and cranky all day today. It started this morning when the power went out, leaving me without air-conditioning for a while. Like I said earlier, I opened the windows in my room just a crack, just to get some air circulating. All that did was let the humidity in, making it more miserable.

Like I said, the power, thankfully, was only out for a bit this morning. However, it just wouldn't cool off. I turned the thermostat down a bit, hoping that might help. I took a cold shower around 5, which helped for the moment. Later, I actually went to lie down on my bed, right in front of the fan, hoping to cool off. I ended up falling asleep for a little while, but woke up because I was so hot. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and got up to see what the hell was going on. My thermostat was set at 75, but the temperature of the house read 87!! WTF??!

I checked to make sure the fan was on, then walked over to a vent, thinking that maybe it was just blowing warm air. Well, it wasn't blowing at all! Again, WTF?!

I ran down to the basement, and sure enough, nothing is happening. I checked the circuit breakers, no problem. Then, I opened the front of the furnace. I don't know what the hell I was looking for, but I did notice that the air filter hadn't been changed in a while. So, I grabbed a new filter, slid the old, dirty one out, and started to slide the new one in. I figured, if nothing else, when the HVAC guy came for the inevitable service call tomorrow, he would at least find a clean filter.

As I was trying to slide the new filter in, I somehow bent the cardboard frame a bit, and it fell to the bottom, hitting the blower. Low and behold, it started up. For the third time, WTF?!? I have no idea what made the blower start working again, but you know what? I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

The last couple of days, I feel like the universe has been angry with me for something. Yesterday, when I walked out to take Stud to school, my car was dead. I tried unsuccessfully to jump it from my mom's car before leaving with her for lunch. Then, after lunch, I tried it again. It still didn't work. Last night, after he ate dinner, my poor daddy came over and took care of it for me.

Then, this morning, the power went out. Now, this weird air-conditioner thing. I hope to God it doesn't go out again. My air-conditioning unit is fairly new (less than 3 years) but my furnace/blower is pretty old. I hope I don't have to replace it, cuz that would suck hairy donkey balls.

On a different note, we apparently have big storms rolling through tonight. When I went outside to throw the dirty air filter away, I was stunned to see a light show going on in the distance. I ran back in the house to grab my crappy camera so I could try and capture some of it for you.

Unfortunately, after I downloaded these to my computer, I tried to watch them, and they were almost pitch black. But, I figured, what the hell, I took them for YOU, the least you could do is watch them! ;-)

Ok, I just watched these through Blogger, and they're pretty awful. You can see the lightning, but you can't see what it really looked like. The sky was pretty light, and the lightning show was going on behind a curtain of clouds. Eh, I tried.

I give up...

I've checked the NaBloPoMo site at least 12 times today, and there's STILL no prompt up for today. Since it's nearly 7pm, I'm gonna give up and just write some crap on my own. (You're welcome!)

We're having a bit of a heat wave here in ChiTown. It was in the mid-to-high 40s today. Yesterday it was in the high 30s. That means all of the snow we got last week is melting at a pretty steady rate. I'm glad I didn't take the time to shovel my enormous driveway last week, as the snow is nearly all melted now. Tomorrow, it's supposed to be in the 50s. Yuk!! Too warm for me. I'll bet my ass there will be tons of yahoos walking around in shorts tomorrow. I guarantee it!

I'm actually really worried that all that rapidly melting snow is going to cause me to get water in my basement tomorrow. We'll just have to wait and see.

Saturday, the temperature is supposed to drop to the 20s, which will mean all that standing water will turn to ice, which should make driving really awesome!! Man, I LOVE CHICAGO!!

Let's see, what else can I bore you with? Well, my car needed a jump today, which is always big fun! "Someone" left the dome light on in the car, and it was dead as a doornail this afternoon when I tried to go to my parents'. (Since there are only two of us in this house, and I KNOW it wasn't me, I'm pretty sure who the "someone" is....just sayin'...) I had to have my daddy come give my car a jump. The real kicker is that I was going to my parents' because my dad called me earlier in the day to ask me to do something for him on the computer. But, he wanted me to come there. In the windup, he had to come here, which is pretty inconvenient for him, don't you think? After we got the car going, we still went there, and ended up staying for dinner (Chinese, yay!).

I'll leave you with one last thought for the night. It's something that will make you go 'ewwww.' I grew up with this guy. We went to grade school, junior high and high school together. I used to hang out at his house, back in the day, with one of my best friends. I think the two of them kinda had a thing for each other, which seems really creepy now. Click over to see why, and then go take a shower.

What the HELL is that smell!?

So, I moved a bag I had thrown on the floor in the backseat after the flood, and realized it was soaking wet underneath. But, I didn't think it was that big of a deal, since it was just a plastic grocery bag and it was on the rubber floor mat.

But, then, as I was driving to school, I was assaulted by a foul smell. It kinda smelled like spoiled milk? Anyway, when I got home, I figured I'd better get the bag off the floor and let the mat dry. I had planned to also Febreze the car from front to back, just for an added bonus.

Well, imagine my surprise when I moved the rubber mat and saw that the carpet mat under it was wet. Then, imagine my horror when I realized that the actual carpeting in the car was sopping wet! Holy crap!!!

I immediately removed both sets of car mats (the original carpet mats that came with the car, and the heavy-duty, super-thick, SUV mats my brother bought me as a 'car warming' gift, that I have over the originals) and then had Stud help me set up our elaborate drying system again.

I did Febreze the crap out of all the upholstery, so I hope that helps get rid of the foul odor. If it still smells tomorrow once it's dry, I plan to sprinkle a box of baking soda everywhere and then let that sit overnight before I vacuum it out.

When I first bought this car, there was a foul, icky smell going on, which I thought was in the vents. It did seem to improve a bit after I had an oil change done, and they switched out all the air filters. But, every once in a while, I'd get a whiff of something offensive. Again, it smelled a little like old milk. I'm basing this assessment on my memory of the smell in my old car after Stud dropped umpteen bottles of milk, not to mention a few sippy cups, which then dripped into the carpeting. Delightful, right?

Obviously, the car was detailed before I bought it. Now, I'm almost wondering if the carpet was still a bit damp when they put the floor mats back in it. The mats are rubber-backed, which would keep the carpet underneath from drying, right? Then, the day after I bought it, my brother brought over those heavy-duty mats and put them in for me. Is it possible that the carpet might not have ever fully dried? Seems a bit far-fetched, but any thing's possible, right?

If anyone has any other odor-removing suggestions, please pass them on. I vaguely remember reading somewhere that charcoal briquettes can be used to remove odor, so maybe I should place a few under the seats for a while. Leave me your tips, please!

When will I learn!?

You may remember when I was dumb enough to do this. Yeah, well, I was just as dumb Thursday night. Only this time, I didn't wake up mid-rain, and it STORMED all night!! Look at how many INCHES of water are in my cup holder!! AND, to top it all off, I had left my school bag on the front seat, which contained, among other important things, my reading and math teacher's guides, which looked like they had been thrown in a pool!

I'm really afraid I'll be driving around in a car that smells like an old kitchen sponge for the rest of my life, but I'm hoping that won't be the case. Last night, Stud helped me rig up a "drying system" in the garage. Oh, it's real sophisticated! I opened all four windows and the sunroof, then took a box fan, and laid it across the opening of the sunroof, and turned it on full blast. But, of course, because my garage looks like it needs an intervention from Niecy Nash, we had to rig up an extension cord from the messy side of the garage, where the outlet is, to the "clean" side, where the car is parked. No easy feat, let me tell ya!

When I went out this morning at about 7 to check on things, the seats felt dry, but I left the fan running for a little while longer just to be sure. I will NOT be able to drive in a car that smells moldy and mildewy. YUK! No amount of Febreeze in the world can take care of that problem, I'm sorry!

um...yeah...so...

...yesterday, I made Stud drive home from my parents (where we went to pick up my nieces) and when we got home, he just pulled into the driveway and parked it. Normally, I back in the driveway, and pull into the garage, but he's not quite comfortable with that yet. No biggie, I had planned to get the kids started on the eggs, then run to the grocery store to get some flour. (I've been on a bread kick for a couple of days now, so there may be photos coming!) Now, you may recall it's been in the 80s for a couple of days now, so we had the sunroof and all the windows open when we were driving. When he parked, Stud asked if he should close the windows, and I said no, because I was planning to run right back out. However, I never did make it to the store, because after I set the kids up, they decided they were hungry, and then my sister came over, and the store was completely forgotten.

Well, flash forward to this morning. I woke up at about dawn, per usual, and I was watching the morning news programs in bed. I had opened my bedroom window last night when I went to bed because it was really warm in the house (hmmm...could all the baking have anything to do with that?) and so this morning, I actually awoke to the sound of birds chirping, and was enjoying the delightful breeze. A little while later, I thought I heard what sounded like raindrops, and thought, "well, that's good, we could use some rain." I wasn't surprised at all, because the weather forecast called for rain today.

I went into Stud's room to check his windows, since I knew they were opened, and I saw that rain was actually coming into his room, so I walked over to close them. Well, guess what was directly below his window. Um..yeah...my WIDE OPEN SUNROOF!!

I ran outside with my key and closed all the windows and the sunroof, but the inside of the car was already soaked. Now it's raining, so I can't exactly go out there to dry things off. I can't even sit IN the car to dry things, because my seats are soaked. That's just craptastic, isn't it?

This all happened over an hour ago, and I've been sitting here trying to figure out what I should do. I really need to get the store, and I really want to start drying the car. I'm afraid that no matter how many towels I put on my seat, when I get out at the store, my whole rearend will be wet, and I'll have to walk around the store looking like a 3 year old who had an accident. I suppose I could put some plastic over the seat, like a trash bag. Hmmm....I may be on to something here....

Wait, are you sure it's Monday?

I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but today wasn't so bad! I don't know if the babies were sleepy because it's Monday, but they were pretty calm today. At least for the greater part of the day. Oh, and I had 5 absent, and one went home right after lunch because he didn't feel well. That made a WORLD of difference!!

When I walked in this morning, I checked my mailbox like I do every morning, and low and behold, yet ANOTHER revised prep schedule!! So, naturally I grab it and say, "What the hell?! It changed AGAIN!?" I then hear New Principal's voice behind me say, "Yes, and it will probably change a few more time til we get it right." I almost peed my pants. But, luckily, she didn't seem offended by my rude comment. As a matter of fact, I was looking at the schedule while standing over near her at the counter and was talking aloud to myself, wondering if any of my preps were changed. She quickly leaned forward and said, with a smile, "Well, yes, you now have 5 preps." I said, "Oh, we're back to 5 preps!" to which she replied, "Oh, no. YOU have 5 preps. You're the only one. But, you're also the only one with 37 kindergartners. So, if anyone has a problem with that, tell them to come see ME." HOLY CRAP!!!! I said, "Well I'M not going to say anything to anyone!" Woo-freakin'-hoo! Way to go, New Principal!

I hit the trifecta today. After I got home from school, I decided I would try accessing the code for my radio online again. Again, I got the error message. I figured, what the hell, I'll try the 1-800 number. I got this awesome guy named Michael on the line, who talked me through how to find my serial number. He was then able to give me the code, and after just a very few minutes, BOOM! I had a radio!! Yay!!!!! I immediately went in the house and grabbed a stack of my favorite CDs. :)

After Stud went with his dad, I hit Wal-Mart, my home away from home, and while I was shopping, my sister called from Italy (Did I mention that she left last Friday to visit my mom for a couple weeks?) and we talked for almost an hour. I ended up losing almost 3 hours at Wal-Mart (not the first time, won't be the last...). I decided to drive past my dad's on the way home, and I was surprised to see my favorite uncle's car in his driveway. Naturally, I had to stop in and say hi. He stopped there on his way home from Michigan. He'll be going back, though, on Thursday, so he'll be there with us over the weekend. Now, I'm even more excited about going. The fact that I'll be driving my new ride is the cherry on the top!! (Oh, and I came home with a bag of yummy peaches that my uncle brought home from peach picking in Michigan. I'll be enjoying those for breakfast the rest of the week!)

Last little thing, since I'm on a roll here with the great things about today. The weather here has been in the 60 for about a week now. Tonight, it's in the 50s. I'm happier than a pig in shit, that's for sure!!! I wish it were like this ALL YEAR!!! It's supposed to hit almost 80 by the weekend, but we won't even be here. I'm going to have to see what the weather is going to be in Saugatuck. I'm afraid that the boys won't be able to hit the beach. :( Although, they're so crazy, they probably wouldn't care if was only in the 70s. I hope the boys have a good time this weekend. I just hope I have a restful weekend. :)

The newest addition to our family...

I know I've been slacking off on my blogging the past few days, but if you knew what was going on around here, you'd understand. I know I always say I'm going to try to keep it short, then I write a novel, so I won't even bother saying it this time!
***
I told you already that my car's been in the shop. I hadn't heard from Billy, my Mechanic from Heaven, yet about what was wrong with it, so I called him Wednesday afternoon. He apologized for not getting back to me, but he had been swamped, and didn't even look at it yet. Usually, that's not a big deal because I have my mom's car and he knows that, so I'm sure that's why he didn't rush. Well, by now you know my mom's car bit it, too! He promised he would look at it first thing in the morning.
***

Well, Thursday morning my plan was to have my brother drive me to school. Hey, he offered! It seemed a little silly to me, since he lives waaayyyy south of me, but, he doesn't work on Wednesday night, so he offered. Anyway, while I was sleeping/getting dressed Thursday morning, my BFF called several times to let me know I could use her mom's car to get to work. By the time I actually spoke to her, my brother was already up and on his way. In the windup, he drove me over to her house, and I was on my way. I assumed that by the time I came out of work, my car would be ready. Yeah...not so much....
***
When I came out of school, I saw that Billy had left me a voicemail. I called him and he said, "The news isn't good." In a nutshell, the car needed about $1,500 worth of work. That's about 15 times what the car is worth!! I literally started crying in the car. In the meantime, I was on my way to pick up Stud Muffin. (Little side note here - there was also a text message from Stud on my phone when I came out of school. It said, "call me," so I did. He told me he was across the street from school (at a little take-out place) hanging out with his two best buds. As I started questioning him about why he was out so early, and did he ditch last period, blah, blah, blah, he said, "Did you forget it's Thursday?" Why, yes, yes I did! Thursday is an early dismissal day at his school. DUH!! He had been out of school for over an hour already! I felt terrible. Eh, but he didn't care, so it was all good!)

***

While on my way to pick up Stud, CSJ called, and long story short, agreed to go car shopping with me! Yes, I AM serious!! For a while during our marriage, he sold cars, so I knew he was the perfect one for the job. :) I will spare you the details of the evening, but at the end of the night, I still didn't have a car. He told me that he couldn't go with me on Friday, but that he could spend a couple hours on Saturday with me shopping.

***

Well, Friday after school, CSJ met me at my house to pick up Stud, and ended up staying for a while, looking on the internet for cars. I actually found one I wanted to look at, but he couldn't go with me, so I asked my brother to meet me, as the dealership was near his house. Again, long story short, the place was shady, and I left with nothing. I had also seen something I was interested in at a CarMax near my brother's, so I told him to just head over there (he never made it to the first place.) My BFF also drove out to meet me, God bless her. I'm sure she regrets it now...
***

In the interest of your sanity, let me just jump to the end of the story, and tell you that at 11:00 PM, I drove this little baby off the lot:

It's a 2006 Honda CR-V. Not what I originally intended to buy, but thanks to my brother's influence, it all worked out in the end.

Ok, get a load of this!!! There is a removable picnic table in the back!! This is what sealed the deal for us. tee hee! Hmmm....maybe I should start tailgating now.... How cute is this thing?!

The back seats "fold and tumble" so I'll have plenty of room to haul all my crap.

OK, here's the fly in the ointment, though. The mega-cool 6-CD radio isn't working yet. It has an anti-theft feature which requires a code to activate it. Unfortunately, because we were at the dealership so late, all the people from the service department were gone and no one was there to give us the code. Now I have to wait until Monday to call and get the code.

I spent quite a bit of time in tears this week, and the stress nearly did me in. I don't want to car shop again for a very long time. I miss my Malibu already, but I'm sure I'll warm up to the new car soon enough.
***
I'll try to come back later and catch you up on school, since I think that's what I'm supposed to be doing here, right? Now, if someone out there knows of a fourth job I could pick up to pay for this new ride, let me know, ok?

OMFG!!!! I don't know what the frik is wrong with frikin blogger, but it keeps deleting the damn spaces between my paragraphs!!!! ARGH!!!! I'm going to separate them a different way I think...

When will they stop coming!?

I don't know if you've ever checked out any of the blogs over there ----> on my blogroll, but you really should check out FML. Some days it makes me laugh out loud. Today was one of them! Let me share:
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I couldn't help thinking, "That's EXACTLY something I would do!!" (Suz, it also made me think of you because it could be Blonde Moment #254!)

I really needed to start with something amusing, because I have nothing nice to say about school. I'm trying really hard not to sound like a whiny little bitch all the time, which is why it's been so hard to force myself to post everyday. I'm really not this Negative Nancy (Debbie Downer?) all the time, I swear. Those of you that actually know me, I hope you would agree!

That being said, at the same time, one of the great things about blogging is that it gives you a place to vent and say what's really on your mind. And, hell, it's WAY cheaper than therapy! So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I hope I don't offend anyone, or turn anyone off, with my seemingly negative attitude. At the end of the day, I really, truly love what I do.

About an hour before school ended today, one of the ladies from the office told me that 3 more children had registered for kdg. They're coming tomorrow. So, I will have 33 freakin' kids, in a room designed to hold 24. As it is, I'm using the 6 seats at my group table to hold kids. Now, I will literally have 3 children without seats. There are simply no more seats available. I'm going to have to go in and talk to New Principal tomorrow about this situation. Unfortunately, there aren't enough kids to open a second kdg. yet. However, I think the solution is to change our kdg. program to half-day. I could then have 16-17 in each class. And, maybe we could breathe!!

I have absolutely no idea what New Principal is going to say when I ask about going half-day. But, I hope all of you will join me in saying a prayer or two (or a hundred!!) that she'll say yes.

Here's my positive for the day - My BFF has very generously volunteered to come to school with me tomorrow and help out. You may remember that she came to school with me the Saturday before the kids started, and we had talked then about her coming and helping me organize my classroom library. (Did I mentioned that she's a school librarian in a CPS school?) She still has two weeks before she has to go back to work (the rest of the CPS school teachers start work Sept. 2, the kids start Sept. 8) and she said she's looking for something to do during the day. I just hope my kids don't wear her out tomorrow. She's already worried about the heat getting to her, and rightfully so. After sitting in my room for at least 9 hours a day since school started with NO air-conditioning, then driving up to 30 minutes to get home with NO air-conditioning in my piece of crap car, I've been feeling like a beat up rag doll by the time I get home. I hope she'll be ok. I'm just so excited that she's coming!

When I started this blog two years ago, I used to end every post with a quote. I'm going to try and do that again. (I say try because most nights, I'm so aggravated when I'm posting that I'm not in the proper mindset to search the web for quotes.) There will probably be some repeats of previously posted quotes. Sorry. Here goes...

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. ~Franklin P. Jones

Unless you have an hour to kill, don't bother to read this!

Let's see...my last "real" post was back on Monday, April 27. WTF?! REALLY??! Wow, let's play catch up, shall we?

I posted about Stud's new bed. You can see by those photos that my poor son has a room that's about the size of most people's closets. I have the typical Chicago bungalow. That means it's very small. I have 3 bedrooms, but they're all small. I kid you not, my entire house would fit in my classroom, which isn't saying very much :(

I mentioned in one of my "pretend" posts this past week that Stud was sick. Apparently, while I was typing that last real post, he was over at The Girl's house, not feeling well. His father picked him up from there, so I never saw him that night. The next morning I get a frantic call from CSJ telling me that Stud is sick. (For those who are new here, or have a memory like mine, CSJ=Cocksucking Jagoff=my ex-husband, AKA-The Sperm Donor.) The first thing he shrieked at me when I answered the phone at 6am was that Stud was sick, and he just "coughed up a yellow golf ball!" Yeah, nice, right? Apparently, at some point the day before, my son saw the school nurse, who told him he had an upper-respiratory infection. Well, Father-of-the-Year decided he needed to rush him to the doctor's office. He bullied his way (literally!) into being seen, and turns out Stud was diagnosed with severe bronchitis and a sinus infection. He was given two different prescriptions and sent on his merry way. CSJ actually took the rest of the day off to stay home with him. Naturally, he wanted a fuckin' medal for it, too! Who the hell does he think took care of Stud for the past 15 1/2 years?! This is the FIRST time he's EVER taken ANY time off because his son was sick. But, to hear him tell it, he should be given an award! Ugh!

OK, I'm already boring myself with this story, so suffice it to say, I ended up taking Wed-Fri off to stay home with Stud. I knew I'd have to take Thursday off, since Stud needed to go back for a follow-up visit smack in the middle of the day. Wednesday, he was still really feeling lousy, so I'm glad I stayed home with him. Friday, well Friday was just a little bonus. The doctor told me Thursday that Stud couldn't return to school until Monday, so I figured, what the heck, I'll stay home with him. I also may or may not have been having a Pampered Chef party Friday night, and I may or may not have needed some extra time to clean, shop and cook.

The Pampered Chef party was a freakin' blast!! I wish you could have all come. My PC lady is an old friend, and she loves doing shows for me because I own everything in the catalog. She never really has to bring anything with her, other than whatever new items have come out since my last party. I am a bit obsessed with PC. I used to be a consultant, I love it so much. But, then I threw CSJ out, and needed to get a "real" job to support myself and my baby. But, I still have shows every 6 months, as that's when the new items come out. Every March and September, like clockwork! I'm able to get the new things for free, so it's awesome!

The past couple of years, the PC parties have turned into drunken kitchen fests, much to my PC friend's dismay, I'm sure! But, making a pitcher of martinis is such a GREAT way to show off the Quick-Stir Pitcher! This party was no exception. This time it was a pitcher of mango martinis, which happens to be one of our top-selling martinis here at the bar. Yummy!!

The last drunken fool, I mean friend, left around 2:30am. It was a great party! I can't wait to do it again. It'll be sometime in September, so if any of you are going to be visiting Chicago in September, let me know!! ;-)

Last weekend was a busy one at the bar. It's almost a good thing that my party kept me up so late on Friday night, because I slept in Saturday, and was more rested than usual by the time I got to the bar. Usually, I'm up around 6:30ish on Saturdays, so by Saturday night, I'm dying. When I get home at 6am on Sunday morning, I've usually been up for nearly 24 hours.

Anyway, Saturday was a busy night, then we had another private party on Sunday (3rd one in a month!) which went later than we had hoped. Instead of getting home in time to watch Desperate Housewives, I didn't even pick Stud up at his grandma's until nearly 10:30. Then, the real fun began...

I was about 1/2 mile from home, approaching the major intersection near my home, when I decided I was too hungry to go to sleep and that I was going to get Arby's. As I was moving into the left-turn lane, I hit a freakin' crater the size of the Grand Canyon!!! (If you aren't lucky enough to live here in ChiTown, you may not be aware of our pothole situation.) INSTANTLY, my tire was gone! I thought I was going to wet my pants. Luckily, I was able to get back over, out of the turning lane, and proceed through the intersection. I turned into the shopping center on the corner, and got out to survey the damage. I can NOT believe I didn't take a picture to share with you! My rim looked like a pie that someone had cut a slice out of! I didn't know what the heck to do at first. We could have easily walked home, as it was only about 6 blocks, but I was afraid to leave my car in the Lowe's parking lot. I figured with my luck, it would be towed.

I called my daddy, of course, but he was already in bed. I told my mom not to bother him, and then called my sister. I thought maybe her boyfriend was around. In the meantime, my mom completely disregarded my request, and got my dad out of bed. At some point, Stud Muffin said he thought maybe he could change the tire himself. I figured, what the heck, it's better than just standing here, right? Plus, once I knew my dad was coming, I figured he could talk Stud through it. Next thing I know, my sister calls to say that she and her boyfriend are on their way. I tried to call my dad to tell him to stay home, but he had already left. He pulled in the lot as I was talking to my mom. (My parents only live about 20 blocks from me.)

By the time my dad got there, Stud and I had gotten the spare and the jack out of the trunk, so my dad put the jack under the car, and Stud started pumping. A few minutes later, my sister arrives, and her boyfriend takes over. He was having a hell of a time getting the tire off because the bolts were sort of rusted on, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. (Did I mention that her boyfriend is about 6'6", 330+lbs, ex-football player? Yeah, picture the dad from The Incredibles, and that's him. Literally. He looks exactly like him.)

The tire is loose now, but Mr. Incredible notices that the car still really isn't off the ground, despite the fact that Stud has been going at it for about 10 minutes. He looks over and freaks. Apparently, my dad hadn't placed the jack where it belonged, and instead of lifting the car, Stud managed to jack the car frame up into a lovely divot! I thought I was gonna lose it! How the HELL did he not see what he was doing?!?! Ughhhh!!! Of course, my dad took full responsibility, but still, come on! Pay attention to what you're doing!!

Mr. Incredible lowered the jack, sort of fixed the frame (he pulled down on the fiberglass, which is now completely unattached, but the dent is hardly noticeable!!) and took the tire off. He got the donut on, only to realize that it had no air. Of course! But, don't despair, I have an air compressor in the trunk. (I had a slow leak in one of my tires for years. I used to have to pump it up at least once a week!) He hooks it up, lets it run for a few minutes, and says we're good to go. We were going to go across the street to the gas station to fill it up properly.

Everyone gets back in their cars, we start to pull away, and my dad starts beeping like crazy to tell me the tire is flat. WTF!!? We figure the only thing to do is try to make it across the street. We make a caravan with my sister in front, me in the middle, and my dad in the rear. All three of us had our flashers on, and basically went about 5 mph to the gas station. If you've been paying attention, you'll know that the story can't end that easily, right? We make it over to the air compressor, only to find out that they remove the damn hose at night!! REALLY!?!? I seriously almost started crying.

The decision was made to try and just take our caravan down the main street to the next gas station, which was about a mile up the street. Picture that, will ya? We finally made it, Mr. Incredible filled the tire, and we were on our way. My dad followed me to his house, both of us still going about 10 mph with our flashers on, so that I could get my mom's car, as I certainly didn't want to be driving to the ghetto the next day on a donut! By the time my head hit the pillow, it was nearly 1am! I was already feeling sorry for my babies the next day.

The next day, I call my mom from school to let her know I was on my way to pick her up so I could drop my car off at my mechanic's. Stud had Anime Club for an hour after school, so I figured we had plenty of time. I get to my mom's, she gets in her car, I get in mine, and we take off. I didn't want to take any chances, so I put the flashers on, and tried not to go over 15-20 mph. Trust me, it was not appreciated by my fellow drivers. We were very nearly there when suddenly I HIT ANOTHER FUCKING POTHOLE!!!!!!

The tire instantly went flat. AGAIN! Luckily, I was about 20 feet from an entrance to a strip mall, so I pulled in, and called my mechanic. Through my sobs, I told him what happened. He tried to calm me down (the poor guy!) and said I should just keep driving, real slow, to the garage. I told him the tire was completely flat and his answer was, "Fuck it, it's the donut, who cares?" So, I managed to turn around, go back out onto the busy main street, and I literally idled for about 3 miles. The whole time, I could hear the metal of the rim grinding into the ground. It's a good thing I never even hit 10 mph because I could hardly see through my tears.

In case you've fallen asleep, we're still on Monday, folks. About an hour and a half after I got home, Billy, my mechanic from Heaven, called to tell me he was done! He was able to pound out my rim, and the donut's rim, and everything was hunky dory! But, I need to get new wheel covers as the one on the flat had been destroyed (plus about a month ago, I was hit by a kid, and it ruined my back cover) so he was going to get me a set of 4 new covers. He said they would be there the next day. Yay! When all was said and done, the whole ordeal cost me less than $80. I know, I can't believe it, either. Oh, and Stud ended up getting picked up by The Girl's mom, as there was NO WAY I was going to make it to his school in time. He was thrilled, to say the least ;-)

Maybe now you have a little insight into why I felt the need to post on Monday about what made me smile that day. It was truly a day from hell! As much as I'd love to fill you in on the rest of the week, I'm afraid I've lost all of you at this point, so I'm going to take a bit of a break. Plus, I stole a martini recipe from TGIFriday's the other day that I'm dying to try, so maybe after I drink it (!) I'll type a little more! (You've all been given fair warning!)

Thanks, Former UN!

I miss my former upstairs neighbor very much, but luckily for me, she still checks in here once in a while. You must (or as the Big Cheese would say, muss) go to yesterday's post and read her comment. She made me laugh out loud, as usual! I miss you, Former UN!! BTW, I'm so happy to see you are no longer unemployed. Please fill me in via email!

So, as I was driving here to the bar this afternoon, I saw that the crack in my windshield has already started to spread. Oh, joy! Big Cheese better be ready to endure my wrath on Monday morning! Like I said, he was already gone Thursday when it happened, but I saw him Friday morning in the parking lot, and told him what happened. I asked him what the Board was going to do about it, and his answer was, "I have no idea." Shocking, right? So I told him, "You need to find out, because not ONE cent is coming out of MY pocket to fix this, and it WILL be fixed." He pretty much hid from me the rest of the day, which is even funnier because his office is across from my room. Dork! [On a side note, I called the central office before I called the police on Thursday, and after being on hold a total of 20 minutes, and being transferred no less than three times, I was basically told "Tough luck." They are not responsible for the actions of the students. If my car had been damaged by CPS property, they would fix it. I reassured them my car was parked on CPS property, but they said that's not enough. So, maybe if those little shits had thrown, say, a desk from their classroom at my windshield, THEN the board would pay for it to be replaced. See how that works? Good, now explain it to me!!]

My dad did call a friend of his in the business to get me an estimate, and it could be worse, I suppose. His friend said he would fix it for me at cost, which would be about $275. But, when I mentioned that I was going to try and get school to pay for it, he said they'd have to pay full price, which made me laugh a little. A couple of women at work asked me at the end of the day what Big Cheese told me about it, and I told them "nothing." They were in agreement with me about how I shouldn't have to pay anything. They think Big Cheese should figure something out, and of course I agreed. One said that maybe he would pay for it himself. Ha! Or, that maybe he would offer to split it with me. I told them, "I don't care if y'all take up a collection for me, I'm not paying for this!" (sometimes my Englewood comes out :) )

The woman who said that is actually our security guard (and I use that term VERY loosely!) and she feels really bad, since she's the one who eventually shagged the kids out of the lot. But, she can't be everywhere at once, so I don't hold her the least bit responsible. In the morning, her post is the front of the school, not the back where the lot is. We obviously need more than one person doing security. And, no offense to Mrs. T., but someone else who isn't a middle-aged, slightly overweight woman in her sixties! She's said herself, a million times, "I ain't chasin' after no kids. Let 'em run!" God forbid a fight breaks out on the third floor, cuz she ain't goin'! I know it sounds like I'm picking on Mrs. T., but I'm really not. I really love her as a person. As a security guard, not so much. Unless a security guard is supposed to sit and do word searches all day. Then it would be my bad!

On a different subject, I finally took the plunge and assigned my babies their numbers yesterday. I tried to hold off because I figured I'd be getting a few more kids, but hell, it's three weeks in to the school year. Maybe this is it? Anyway, some of them already remember their number, which is huge for me! I use their numbers for everything!! First and foremost, it makes putting their papers and things in alphabetical order without any effort, because I just do in numerical order. Easy peasy! I have them write their numbers on everything, as well, because it helps me identify who the things belong to a lot easier. Most can write one or two digits, even if they can't write their name yet. We use our numbers for lining up, picking centers, raffles, jobs, you name it. I keep a can with numbered craft sticks in it, with the number down in the can, so I can't see it. Then I can randomly draw numbers for jobs or whatever. Then, that stick goes in the used can, so everyone gets a turn, before switching cans and starting over. I love that I can remove myself from the process completely in their eyes ("I didn't pick him, the sticks did.") even though sometimes, I will say a number that is different from what is on the stick. Yes, I know I'm a cheater, but sometimes I need a specific child for something. Naturally, because I assigned numbers, I will be getting at least one new student next week. Oh, well...

Oh, another funny/cute thing I wanted to share from my DIBELing last week. One of the boys from the other room was with me, and I could see in a matter of moments that this little one was very bright. The first page of pictures for the phoneme test has a tomato, a cub (that is a freakin' bear up in tree!) a plate (even though everyone else would call it a dish!) and a picture of a criminal in an old-fashioned black and white striped prison suit, complete with the hat, but we tell the kids it's "jail." (I can't tell you how many of them, upon being told "this picture is jail," say, "Oh, my daddy/uncle/mommy is in jail." So, so sad...) Anyway, as I was trying to give this boy the test, he wanted to just keep talking to me about the pictures, which would have been great, if I wasn't trying to administer this ridiculous test which is TIMED! So, everytime he tried to tell me something, I had to cut him off. I felt terrible. Well, the last of the 4 questions for each page requires the child to tell you what sound a certain picture begins with. For this page, the last question is, "What sound does plate start with?" He correctly told me "/p/", but then points to the picture and says "Cymbal starts with /s/" At first I was thinking "WTF?" but then I looked at the stupid drawing of the plate, and it does indeed look like a cymbal. It's even almost gold in color. What a little smarty pants!

I wish I didn't have this pounding migraine, which is now on Day 7, because the bar is empty, and I have lots of time to bore you with Hell-Hole stories, but I really need to stop looking at this computer screen because it isn't helping my head. Time for some caffeine, I think. Have a great weekend everyone!

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards. ---Mark Twain

Oo, one last thing. (Man, do I have ADD or what?) Last week, I added a ticker to this blog to count down the school year. It's at the bottom, though, so I bet none of you have even noticed it. I'm working on fitting it in somewhere else, but for now, if you're the least bit curious, scroll allllll the way down to the bottom. :)

Random-ness...

There are a bunch of things I've wanted to post, but somehow always forget once I get home. I have a couple of minutes, so I thought I'd better do it right now.

This f-ed up sign was taped to the microwave in the teachers' lounge last week. Keep in mind, it was written by our "business manager." This woman is in charge of ALL OUR MONEY!!!

Who are interested looking at this next picture need to keep reading. This is the bulletin board in our main hallway, right outside the office. It faces the front door, so it's literally the first thing you would see if you walked in our front door.

First, why the hell is attendance in quotes? Second, what the hell is the message supposed to be?! As we say in Englewood, I'm gonna juss le'it go...

This REALLY is just random stupidness. I took a picture of my "color birds" one day because it was sooo flipping humid (and hot!) that they curled up on the wall. They are usually flat.

One last thing for tonight. When I came out to leave yesterday, I was very unpleasantly surprised by this:

You can't begin to know how pissed off I am about this. Apparently there were some kids outside throwing rocks in the teacher parking lot, and this is the result. I did manage to file a police report, but nothing else has really been done about this yet. I really don't want to get my blood boiling again, so once again, I'm gonna juss le'it go!

I'm off for a much-needed, looonnnnggg awaited, Girls' Night with my sister and my brother's girlfriend. Maybe tomorrow I'll come back and actually tell you something about the babies.

Calvin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. ---Bill Watterson, It's a Magical World

The Big Cheese strikes again...

This memo was delivered to my classroom this afternoon. I edited out any identifying info, but the rest is exactly as I received it. Actually, it's one of the better composed memos from The Big Cheese. I think if you click on it, it will enlarge.

What a guy!! At "lease" he knows how to run a school into the ground! AND when "these kids is OFF the CHAIN!" He's also sent out memos about how "in the pass, we did...."

• For the past two days, we've been working on a weaving project (photos to come next week). Today, little Miss S.M. was working with me, and after showing her how to do the first few strips, she finally got the hang of it, and was feeling quite proud of herself. When she finished, she asked if she could go help someone else. Well, of course!! Seeing how I was having to work one-on-one with the babies on this project, and was gonna take any help I could get! Well S.M. called S.P. over to the table I was sitting at the help her. I wish I had a tape recorder running to record the conversation they were having. I just sat there chuckling to myself the whole time. "Mrs. L. showed me, and now I can do it by myself, so I'm going to help you, OK?" "OK, now watch me!" After the girls got the first few strips in, S.M. says to me, "Mrs. L.? Can you do the scoots and we'll do the weaves?" I almost lost it. "The scoots" meant that after each strip was woven, I 'scooted' it down to the end, to keep the strips close to each other. But, they couldn't do it, so they wanted me to do the "scoots!" Too cute!

Little D.S. is one of my absolute FAVORITE babies!! I'd steal him if I thought I could get away with it! He can NOT be anywhere near me without touching me. God forbid I stop near him, he immediately grabs my hand. He's so cute!! Whenever he does that, I always give him a squeeze, of course, and maybe even touch his cheek/nose/forehead etc. Today, for the third or fourth time, I heard, "Mrs. L, I like it when you touch me!" Awwww....I LOVE THAT KID!!! You may remember he was the one that wanted 100 "shmarshmallows" and loves "vanana" ice cream!

• I remembered something one of the babies said last Friday. When we do the calendar, we play the "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow Game." They have to tell me what all those are, days and dates. So, they told me yesterday was Thursday, today is Friday, tomorrow will be Saturday. Yesterday was twenty-eight, today is twenty-nine and tomorrow will be "twenty-ten." Aren't they funny?

Car Update -- They replaced both of the front tires, did an alignment and changed the oil. Oh, and fixed the lighter. Apparently, the shaking I was experiencing had to do with the fact that there was "a HUGE bubble" in my tire. Hopefully, the bill won't be as big as I thought it would be. Actually, I'm waiting for them to call me with the total.

The temperature has dropped this afternoon, and there have been flurries on and off for a few hours now. They say we're going to get from 2-4 inches of snow tonight. But, next week they're predicting 40s all week. Yay! I can't wait! That's one of the things I love about living in Chicago. You can have all four seasons in one day, IF you're lucky :)

• Today is my grandma's birthday. Sadly, she passed away about 4 1/2 years ago, but I want to celebrate her birthday anyway. I think I'll be having dinner with my parents, then we're going to pick up my car, and head over to the bar to work for a while. My brother is thisclose to opening now. I'm getting excited!! I can almost taste the chocolate martini now....

Have a great weekend everyone!

If nothing is going well, call your grandmother.
~Italian Proverb

----

What the hell!!!? I was checking this over for mistakes (Hello, Big Cheese, that's what you're supposed to do!!) and for some reason, the space between the paragraphs keeps disappearing when I publish. It's totally pissing me off!!! Does that happen to anyone else ever? Ugh!! OK, now I'm totally irritated!! I'm going to bullet the paragraphs!

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse....

First, let me bore you with the details of yesterday's day from hell...

Tuesday morning, my assistant principal let me know that my tire was going flat. I've had a slow leak for, gee, I don't know, 2 years maybe, so I just figured that's what he was talking about. Well, when I left for the night at 5:00, the tire was nearly flat. I drove slowly to the closest gas station and filled it, then went home and didn't give it another thought.

The next morning, my son and I got in the car (running late as usual!) and I started rolling down the driveway. Immediately, I knew something wasn't right. I had my son get out and look at the tire, and it was flat as a pancake. My first thought was "Shit!! My son is going to be really late now!" Normally, that wouldn't really be a big deal, however this week all CPS students are taking the ISAT, which is our annual standardized test. It's kind of a big deal to miss it. After a series of phone calls, my mother-in-law was on her way to pick him up and drive him to school.

In the meantime, I managed to get my dad on the phone, and he was going to come pick me up, and drive me back to his house so I could take my mother's car. She wasn't thrilled about that, but it was the plan,nonetheless. Now, my dad was going to be late for work, as was I. I really wasn't that worried about it, though, because every moment away from the Hell-Hole is a moment of peace. I walked in about 5 minutes before the babies.

Now, regular readers know that we have a standing appointment every two weeks at the vet's office for my mutt. Yesterday happened to be our day, so I had already decided to walk out the door with the babies when the bell rang. Besides having a vet appointment, I also had a Parents' Club meeting at my son's school. The vet is a 30-45 minutes drive each way, depending on traffic, so I wanted to get home as quickly as possible, in order to get to the vet as quickly as possible.

So, there I was, cruising on down 63rd Street, when I noticed a white car driving erratically down the street. He was darting in and out of traffic, switching lanes constantly and speeding. At one point, he was driving to the right of me, which was actually the parking lane. He was driving parallel to me, but then was about to come up to some parked cars, so he darted into my lane and promptly hit me! At first it seemed like he was going to just keep going, so I started laying on the horn, and screaming for my son to get his phone out and take a picture of the car and license plate. Well, to my surprise, the guy pulled over and I pulled behind him. Because of the neighborhood we were in, I expected a young punk, either Black or Latino, to step out of the car. Imagine my surprise when a blond-haired white kid got out.

The first thing he did was check his own car for damage. Surprise, surprise! Then he walked over to me and says, "Totally my fault." So I respond, "Gee! Ya THINK?!" We walk around to the passenger side of my MOTHER'S car, and at first all I saw was white paint rubbed all down the quarter panel. Then, I saw it. Not just a dent, but a big crease across the quarter panel, right above the tire. Shit!!!

Blondie asks, "Do you want to just go to the police station to file the report."
"Ah, yeah!"
"Do you know where it is?"
"Yes. I'll meet you there."

The police station was only about 5 blocks away from where we were. I got in my car, while he jumped into his, and took off, driving just as erratically as he was before. Asshole! My first thought-he's taking off! I made sure my son took plenty of pictures of the car and license plate while I was out of the car talking to Blondie, so I wasn't too worried about it, just pissed. I figured I would file the report even if he didn't show up. Well, as I approached the station, I saw that he had parked on the street, and was already jumping out of the car. That's when I finally took a good look at him, and the first thing I noticed was that he was wearing uniform pants. (Did I ever mention my ex was a Chicago cop?) That's when it hit me. This asshole is a cop, and seeing how it's now 3:00, he's late for role call. That would explain the shitty driving.

Well, he proceeds to enter through the employee door on the side of the building while I was parking. My son and I walked the half a block to the main entrance, and went in the building. Blondie was already at the counter talking to the officer at the desk. This story is already too long, so let me just say, we filled out the report, I watched the rest of the guys at role call laugh and point at Blondie through the window of the role call room, we exchanged numbers (he would prefer to just pay for the damage, rather than file a claim with his insurance) and I was finally on my merry way.

Obviously, now I'm late for the vet. The vet took longer than usual, which meant I was going to be late for Parents' Club. I tried to make several phone calls while driving there, and while sitting and waiting, to try to get someone else to run the meeting, but I struck out. I ended up getting to school about 5 minutes after the meeting was supposed to start, with no agenda, no treasurer's report, no fund raiser report, no nuthin'. Luckily, one of the other parents was able to talk about Teacher Appreciation week, which she is organizing for us. OK, enough boring details, suffice it to say, I didn't get home from the meeting until 9:30, which is when I posted the highlights last night.

That brings us to today. As I was driving to school this morning, after picking up my friend's son, I turned a corner, and heard a scraping noise all of a sudden. It sounded like I was dragging something under the car. I didn't think I ran anything over, but I pulled over and had my "chocolate son" get out and look. [wait - I need to add a side note here. I call S my "chocolate son," and my friend (his dad) calls my son his "vanilla son." It's actually kinda cute. OK, I just wanted to explain, lest I offend someone.] Well, S didn't see anything in back, but when he looked in front, he said it looked like there was garbage under my car. I asked him if he thought he could pull it out, and he said no. In the meantime, I started backing the car up, hoping to dislodge whatever the hell was under there.

Suddenly, I see a couple of construction workers up on a scaffold on a building across the street. The one was waving for me to roll my window down, so I did. He yells to me that some shield under my car fell down, and I should just pull it off. Oh, just freakin' great!! My mother is going to KILL me!! I drove a little ways down the street so I could pull into a lot, and S and I tried to pull the thing off. It didn't budge, so we tried to tuck it back in place instead. I was able to get a tab up under what felt like the frame for this thing (mind you, it was all by feel, since I couldn't crawl under the car and look!) and we started driving again. Well, that held for about 100 feet, and the damn thing fell again! Ugh!!! I pull onto the next side street, and this time we tucked every single tab we could into the frame. As of 9:00 PM, it was still holding! I'll have to get that looked at, as soon as I get my car back. Which leads me to the rest of the afternoon...

By this time, my car had been sitting in my driveway for two days on a tire that was completely flat. I don't know anything about cars, but I was worried that this was going to be bad for the rim, or the axle, or something. I decided to stop on the way home to get a can of the stuff you can use to seal a flat. I get the can, go home, follow the directions and start to fill me tire. Hey, it's working!! Everything seems to be going well, right up until the can emptied, and the tire was only half full. Damn it!!! The directions said that after you fill the tire, you're supposed to drive slowly for 3-5 miles to evenly distribute the "goo" in the tire. Well, it didn't have enough air to drive on, so I got out my air pump. I have this nifty little pump that plugs into your lighter, which I'd been using for these two years to deal with my slow leak. Unfortunately, my lighter stopped working last summer (of course!) but I was in luck because now I had my mom's car. I pulled the car as close to mine as possible, plugged the pump into her lighter and started to fill my tire. It seemed to be taking forever, and the tire never really looked full. Finally, I figured it had enough air to drive on, especially since I was only going to drive around the block few times.

I pulled my mother's car out and parked it on the street, then went back to my car. I started it, and shifted into drive. I didn't even get my foot completely off the brake when there was an EXPLOSION! Seriously, a freaking EXPLOSION!!! The tire basically popped. My son got out to look, and was quite amused. It literally shredded. The car landed hard on the rim, which I figure can't be good. I held off on the nervous breakdown long enough to call my brother's friend who owns a garage, and works on my car for me. We wound up making arrangements for my car to be towed to his garage, which is actually where I was trying to drive to this afternoon anyway, after I filled the damn tire. I've been having some front-end trouble for a while now (which I'm hoping is just the alignment) so he's been waiting for my car anyway. Actually, my first thought yesterday, when Blondie hit me, was "why didn't you hit me yesterday, when I was in my own car, cuz it's needs some front-end work anyway!!"

I'll be anxiously awaiting Billy's call from the garage tomorrow to tell me how much money I'm going to have to dump into this damn car. I spent a couple of hours tonight at my son's high school (God, I can't get used to that - high school!!!) so all I can think about right now is tuition and how the hell I'm going to be able to pay it. That's the very reason I can't get a new car right now. There's NO way on God's green Earth I can swing $400 a month for tuition PLUS a car payment right now. Thank God I only have to pay 1/2 of his tuition. His father will be paying the other half, under protest it seems.

Good God, is anybody still out there? I think the only people who have actually read this far are those of you who truly love me, and for that I thank you! :) I think I'd better get my behind to bed. I think tomorrow's gonna be a loonngg day. Indulge me a moment longer...Yesterday, while I was getting rammed by Blondie, Dori was out in the parking lot of the Hell-Hole with a car that wouldn't start. After trying several times, she finally had to go in and ask for help. Much to her dismay, Big Cheese came outside to help her, and tee hee hee, when she tried it again, it started!! Hahaha! But, sadly, it didn't start today, so she had an unplanned day away from us, and she'll be out tomorrow as well, while her car is being fixed. I just hope she gets the same sub as today, since there didn't seem to be any problems. I didn't go in her room, though, so let's hope the sub didn't let the babies destroy anything. Although, I don't think, at this point, Dori even cares. I'm pretty sure she's staying focused on the fact that she won't be back next year. Lucky her....

One last little "story," but I promise to keep it short. I went to the Parents' Night at the high school with my friend (my son's best friend's mom, the one who is president to my vice president of Parents' Club) and she told me that this morning on the way to work, she hit a kid with her car!! What the hell is going on with the universe?! The kid is fine, but her side mirror is completely ripped off her car, and hanging by a wire. Sheesh! Between Dori, she and I, we need to go have a couple of drinks somewhere. Although, with the way our weeks are going, one or all of us would be picked up for DUI, so we'd better just keep our asses home!! On that note, I'm going to bed. Good night!

Calvin: You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help. ---Bill Watterson

Mrs. L. and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Since it's now a quarter to 11, and WAY past my bedtime, let me give you highlights now, and the details tomorrow.

The day started with my coming out of my house to leave for school, only to find my tire completely flat. My mother-in-law came to my house to drive my son to school, but he was obviously very late, missing some important testing. My father came and picked me up to bring me back to my parents' house so I could take my mother's car, thus making him late for work. I arrived late for work myself. Day #2 of no preps for me and Dori (however, we handled it differently today, details tomorrow). Left school right at the bell with the babies because it was Vet Day, and promptly got hit by another car. In my MOTHER'S car!!! Naturally, this made me late for the vet, which then made me late for Parents' Club at my son's school. Got home at about 9:30, tried to scrounge up something to eat, since I literally had nothing in my belly today other than my morning Dunkin Donuts (large hazelnut, extra cream and four splenda.) Spent an hour doing work for Parents' Club, now here I am. I just want to go to sleep so I can wake up and this day from hell will be over!!

How in the world...

...did I forget to post yesterday? Maybe it was the crazy day I had. Thursday night, Mother Nature dumped nearly a foot of snow on us, so Friday morning was not easy! Of course, CPS didn't get a snow day like nearly EVERYBODY else in Illinois, so I had to trudge my way to my son's school first. We crawled along for quite a while before finally getting there, nearly 20 minutes late for school. Oh well! Then coming up the side street from his school to turn back onto the main street, naturally I got stuck in the snow. Thankfully, it only took a few minutes of rocking to get out, and I just had to make a left turn from the right lane. There was nothing else I could do about it!

Next I was off to pick up my friend and his son. Since the side streets never get plowed, I called and told them they needed to walk out to the main street and wait at the train station for me. As I was creeping along on the main street, no one would let me over in the right lane! Idiots!! So, I had to drive right past the train station, to the light, and try to go around the block. Oh, great, I have to drive down a bunch of unplowed side streets now! Luckily, I was able to get myself unstuck a couple of times, and finally made it to the station, where I proceeded to slide into the curb, rather than parking gracefully. I actually was sure we were going to be stuck, since the curbs have the most snow thanks to the snow plows, but we were ok. I finally arrived at school at 8:45, making me late, but only about the 6th teacher there! I was in my car for an hour and a half, and my speedometer never went over 20 MPH. God, I LOVE Chicago in the winter!!

Truthfully, I don't mind driving in the snow. WAY back in high school, I had driver's ed second sememster, which meant this was exactly the time of year it was. The very first day we had to be "on the road" was the morning after a huge storm. Even bigger than the one we just had, actually. But, too bad, get in those cars youngsters, and drive!! During my class period alone, our class managed to take out 8 mailboxes in the neighborhood. Good time, good times! We had one day "on the road," two days "on the course," (basically a parking lot) and two days of classroom. So, we had to do a lot of driving in snow. I'm so thankful for that, because I've never had a problem with it. I've never been one of those people who freak out and are afraid to drive in the winter. The only thing that worried me is the rest of the morons on the road! Although right now, my biggest issue is my car. I may have whined about this in the past, but it's old now (11!) and in desperate need of new tires. I'm thinking I'm going to need to get a new car this spring (because there are other things wrong with it) so I don't want to spend the money on 4 new tires, just to get rid of the car in a few months. I think I need to look into maybe getting used tires. We'll see. But, my tire situation does make me a little nervous about driving in the snow. Luckily, it also forces me to be a more defensive driver, so it's keeping me out of trouble!

Oh, wait, wasn't I talking about school? The rest of the staff, the ones that showed up that is, arrived around 9 or a few minutes after. I had Dori's babies come into my room because she was going to be a few minutes late. She only had 7 babies show up, and I had 13. What a day! That's exactly why I didn't just say "F*ck it!" and call in sick. Why waste a sick day when only a handful of kids are going to show up anyway. The school was like a ghost town! It was GREAT!! It was so quiet all day. It was exactly the way the school should be on a DAILY BASIS!!! HELLO!! Of course, The Big Cheese wasn't there. We were told he was at a meeting, but I suspect the meeting was taking place at his house! Especially since his "special friend" (aka, the assistant that used to work here, that he's sleeping with!!) didn't have to work today. Hmmm....interesting, isn't it? That's only a theory, now, but quite plausible!

Well, the rest of the school day was a breeze, and so we started our trek home. I remembered, thankfully, as we were driving, that my son had a dentist appointment after school. He actually had an appointment last Friday, but I managed to forget all about it until they called 15 minutes after our appointment time to see what the deal was. Now, I'm trying to get home quickly, but safely, because I knew we'd have just enough time for him to run in the house, let the dog out, and brush his teeth. For some reason, what should have taken 5 minutes was approaching 15 minutes, so I had to start laying on the horn. Finally, he came back out, and we took off, all the while I'm bitching at him because now we're going to be late, traffic is so bad, the roads are so slippery, blah, blah. We get there, however, with about 10 minutes to spare. It may have had something to do with the fact that, in my yelling, I actually went the wrong way, and took an entirely new route to the dentist's office. It must have been quicker than the way we usually go. Sadly, I don't know if I'll even be able to remember what I did, since I was busy being Mean Mommy at the time!

We walk in to the office, I sign in, and sit down ready to catch up on the latest gossip in People and Us. The receptionist says, "Oh, you're a little early." "Well, yeah, after forgetting last week, I wanted to be sure we were here on time." But then I'm thinking, it's less than 10 minutes, it's a little wierd she would even say anything. So I say, "The appointment was for 4, right?" "No, 4:30." For Pete's sake!!! Another example of how Alzheimer's is creeping in. OK, it's really just old age, but if I give it a name, it makes me feel better. Needless to say, I was able to read 2 weeks of People and one Us by the time my son was finished.

On the way home, he wanted to stop at my parents' house to visit, so naturally that's what we did. We stayed long enough for him to eat dinner (he thinks he's so sly, but we're on to his tricks!) and then we started home. As we were leaving, his father called. Without airing our dirty laundry, we proceeded to have the biggest fight we've had in a decade. By the time my son left with his dad, all I wanted to do was lie down. So, I did! I ended up unintentionally blowing off my friends that I had plans with because I fell asleep. And, long story WAY longer, I didn't get around to posting.

Wow, this post had nothing to do with school anyway, did it? Sorry. But, I feel better having explained things. I suppose I should go out and shovel a bit, since I can't open my back door. I was able to open it just enough to let Buster out, but I don't think I could get out if I had to. My darling neighbor, at some point between going to and coming from the dentist, cleared my entire driveway for me. Sooo sweet! Did I mention he's 75!? All I have to do is enough to open the door, and here I'm sitting, typing this post! LOSER!! I am in the middle of baking him a cake, though, which is standard currency around here everytime he does something nice for me. Man, I could open a bakery for all the things I've baked him these past 13 years. He lives with his sister, who's 78, and they basically take care of my house. I call them my groundskeepers. He cuts my grass, trims my bushes and shovels/snowblows the snow. It's a bit embarrassing, actually. Especially now that my son is old enough to take on all those chores. So, for 13 years, I've been baking and cooking for them. They swear they love it, and that I'M the one who does too much! Ha! "You work, you're a single mother, it's too much!" I love when the sister says, "He's retired now, what else is he gonna do!" Um, how 'bout relax and enjoy retirement!? They surely are from a different generation. I really admire them both. And, they're both in 10 times better physical condition than I am, which is really sad.

Oo, the timer is about to buzz, so have a great weekend!!!

We make our friends; we make our enemies; but God makes our next door neighbor. ---Gilbert K. Chesterton