Less than one hour...

...til the Cocksucking Jagoff and the Homewrecking Whore become man and wife. I wish I could stop letting it bother me, but I just can't. My son just called to check in, and he was already dressed in his tux, and waiting to go. I'm the only one who thinks it's just wrong that he isn't his father's best man? I'm appalled. He's having his nephew be his best man, the same nephew who was our best man. Idiot! It's not like my son is an infant. He'll be 15 in a matter of weeks. Whatever. And, seriously?!! We're having a full blown wedding, are we? This is at least her 3rd wedding, his second. What's the fucking point?! The Whore is undoubtedly wearing white, I'm sure. I'd love to know which church agreed to marry them. Why the hell didn't they just take their nasty asses over to city hall and get it over with. Have the party, if that's what you want, why all the ceremony to go with it? Neither one of them can follow a commandment, especially "Thou shall not commit adultery", obviously!! It's a fucking joke. They've been "living in sin" for quite some time now. I just don't see the point. The only reason to get married at this stage of the game would be to have children. He keeps telling me she can't have any more children. So, why the marriage? So she can dump him like all the others, and take half of what he has? Not that he has much, but still. He's such a fucking idiot!! Ugh!! OK, I'm obviously not handling this well, which makes no sense. I don't know why the hell I even give a shit. Maybe it's because now that chapter of my life is unequivocally closed. There is no going back. Even though, that's not really what I want. I want my old life back, but not with him. Does that make sense? He makes my skin crawl these days. But, I want to be someone's wife again, I want to have a partner to go through life with, share things with, spend time with, grow old with. I think I'm feeling it more now that my son is getting older. Up until now, he's been pretty dependant on me, and my whole life could easily revolve around him without me feeling like I was missing something. After all, he's my baby, and that's my job, right? But, now that he's slowly pulling away from me, I'm starting to realize that I need to get a life of my own again. It's kinda scary.

OK, enough of the self-analysis. It's time to find some tequila and call it a night. Here's a little tidbit I've never shared - I've had a "boy toy" for about 8 years now. The past few years have been a bit on-and-off, but more on than off. We met when I was 33 and he was 22. Today is his 30th birthday (so I guess he's not a boy toy anymore, is he? A man toy?) I was really looking forward to helping him celebrate, but sadly, his father passed away a couple of weeks ago, and he's still not ready to be social. I feel really bad for him. I (selfishly) wish he was feeling better so he could help me get my mind off the CSJ. I guess I'll just have to make due with my sister and my brother's girlfriend, and lots and lots of tequila. I think we just might hit our favorite salsa club in the city (Nacional 27) and do some serious dancing. Hmmm, I guess that means I should probably go take a nap, huh?

Oo, one final thing. I'm supposed to be going to a workshop on Monday. My longtime readers know exactly what that means....a day off!!! My mommy is finally coming home Monday, so I'll have all day to cook and bake, and get the house ready for her homecoming. My darling son also has his second orthodontist appointment on Monday, so I'm a little afraid for him. It'll be his first adjustment, and I think he'll be in pain all week. Maybe I can make a few things that he'll be able to eat, like mashed potatoes, pudding, pasta, etc. I'm getting excited already just thinking about not having to be at work! I will miss my babies, though.

OK, naptime!! Have a great weekend! I plan to! (Maybe I'll post some Homecoming pics next week...)