Thursday, November 25, 2010

Bitch Fest, Part 2

Since I passed out so early last night, I've been sitting here, awake, since 4am. I figured it was as good a time as any to finally give you the rest of the boring story. If you missed Part 1 (or you just have no life!) go here first.

So, the delivery guys leave, and my family sits down to the yummy dinner I had bubbling away in my crockpots. Being a Tuesday night, that meant glee was on, which is a favorite of my sister, nieces, mom and myself. Unfortunately, because I was playing hostess, I wasn't able to really watch. Par for the course, considering how my day was going up til that point, right? I figured I'd just watch it the next day online. By the time glee was over, we were pretty much finished with dinner, so we cleaned up, all the girls went upstairs to watch DWTS, which freed up the TV in the basement for Stud to play XBox, and my daddy and I headed to the hardware store.

We picked up all the things we needed to hook up the stove, washer and dryer. Daddy hooked up the stove first. Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy! Less than 5 minutes later, I was testing out the burners. One of the cool features of my new stove is that it has a 'power burner' with, I think, 1,200 BTUs, so it boils water incredibly fast. I can't wait to test that one out. Then it was off to the laundry room.

We started with the dryer. We bought a gas hose, which comes in standard lengths, to connect the dryer to the gas line. Well, whatta ya know. It wasn't long enough!! Without going off on a whole separate rant about the basement remodel, suffice it to say, there were several things that were not done to proper standards. So, while Daddy started connecting the water hoses to the washer, I jumped in the car to get a second gas connector.

I get in and out pretty quickly, considering it was after 9 pm and the store was nearly empty. I rush back home, we connect the second connector to the first, then Daddy attempts to connect it to the dryer. Why was I even surprised that it STILL wasn't going to work?! The coupler on the connector was a different size than the connector on the dryer. We needed to get an adapter. WTF?! Shouldn't this shit all be standard size?! This time, Daddy ran to the hardware store (Trip #3, if you're keeping track!!) for the connector, while I did the dishes from earlier. I was afraid he might not make it in time, since the store closed at 10.

Luckily, he made it in time. We FINALLY get everything connected on the dryer, then the washer. It seemed like everything was hunky dorey. My poor daddy was exhausted, as was I. Out of the whole houseful of people there, we are the only two who work, so it had been a long day for both of us. Actually, my sister and nieces left before Trip #3 to the store, because it was getting late, and the kids had school the next day. They took my mom with them so they could drop her off on the way. By the time my dad was able to leave, it was after 11:00. I felt terrible for him. I tend to forget that my daddy is nearly 70 years old. He's still just my Daddy, ya know?

Anyway, about 5 minutes after he left, he called me from the car to tell me he forgot to turn the gas on after he hooked up the hoses. I told him it was no problem, I'll go do it right now. I turned the little switch, and immediately smelled gas. I turned it off, then checked the connections. I actually found one of the couplers between the two hoses was loose, so I just tightened it by hand. But, I didn't turn the gas back on because I figured I wouldn't really be able to tell if it was still leaking, since the laundry room already smelled like gas. I decided to just try it again in the morning.

The next day, I went down before school and turned the gas on again. This time, there was a very faint smell of gas, but I wasn't sure it necessarily meant there was a leak, since the water heater is also in my small laundry room, and I occasionally do smell a little gas. I figured it was ok, and went to work.

That day, I had a bunch of errands to run after work, and didn't get home until about 5:30. Stud and I had stopped at the grocery store, so he unloaded the bags, and was starting to carry them in the house while I pulled the car into the garage. He opened the door, and started yelling to me. "Mom!! The whole house smells like gas!!" WTF?! I immediately propped the storm door open, and went inside. We scrambled to find a flashlight, and I headed down to the laundry room. I turned the gas off again, swore at myself for being such an assbag and leaving it on in the first place, then went upstairs and opened the front door. After about 15 minutes, the house seemed to be aired out enough to turn the lights on, so I went back down, and tried to check the hoses again. Everything seemed ok to me, but really, what the hell do I know?!

Since it was Wednesday (one of his shooting days), my dad wasn't going to be around, so I tried to call my friend's husband (the one who did the remodel) to see if he could come over and check things out for me. Unfortunately, he didn't answer. I wasn't sure who to call next. I wasn't even going to bother calling CSJ. I'd rather die from gas asphyxiation than call him lately (that's another post all together!).

I finally decided to call my sister's ex-husband. Luckily, we're still pretty friendly, so I figured he might be willing to help me out. He was out having dinner with my oldest niece when I reached him, but of course, he said he'd come over when he was finished. Actually, what he said first was, "Ok, close all the doors and windows, and throw matches at each other til I get there." He thinks he's so funny!

I hung up with him, and went right to work on making a pan of brownies for him. I figured it was the perfect opportunity to kill two birds with one stone, and give my new oven a test-drive. I turned it on to preheat, and started mixing up the batter. I was upstairs, and suddenly smelled something that smelled like burning plastic. WHAT THE HELL!?

I immediately thought that maybe I missed some of the packing tape or plastic wrap, etc. on the stove. I ran downstairs to check, but didn't see anything. Next thing I know, the damn smoke detector starts screaming. Yeah, great, why not?! I'm still checking out the stove/oven, Stud is yelling across the house to find out what's going on, I'm yelling back at him to come help me, it was a classic clusterfuck! Stud finally gets off his ass and comes over to the screaming detector. He pushes some button, which, thankfully, shuts it off. Then he says, "Isn't this thing a carbon monoxide detector, too? Maybe that's the problem." Yeah, you're a bundle of help, aren't ya? Cuz I didn't have enough to worry about, now I'm convinced we're going to die from carbon monoxide poisoning!

I come to the conclusion that the burning smell must have been whatever oils were on the surface of the oven from the factory, and again, air out the house for a while. The brownies make it into the oven, my new fancy timer gets set, and I go clean up the dishes. My brother-in-law and niece arrive, and he gets right to work. He walks into my house with a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, which of course made me yell at him because a) I don't let ANYONE smoke in my house (including my own mother!) and b) um...HELLO!! You're coming to check a damn gas leak, you moron!!

About 10 seconds after walking into the laundry room, he launches into a tirade about all the things that were done wrong in the construction of the laundry room. "I hope you didn't pay somebody for this mess!" "Who the hell did this work?!" etc. He starts telling me all the things that need to be fixed, including the gas line that needs to be moved/extended. "If it was done right, you wouldn't need TWO hoses!" Blah, blah, blah...Just fix it, for Pete's sake!

Apparently, the finger-tightening I did the night before was the problem. He tightened it with a couple of wrenches, then tested it by...wait for it...holding a damn LIGHTER up to the hose at each connection to see if gas was leaking!! Oh, that guy is gonna give me a stroke one day! Then, he gave a LONG list of all the things that need to be 'fixed' in the laundry room. I told him to write it all down, and he can come do it anytime he's free!

After visiting for a bit, he and my niece left with their brownies. I really wanted to test out the washer and dryer, but at this point, I was just wiped out. I did try them out the next day, and I already posted about not being used to the washer yet.

Oh, I just remembered something. This is NOT a gripe, because I would NEVER bitch about my daddy, but it is kinda funny. After I washed the first load of clothes in my new machine, I noticed that when I opened the washer, it was kind of warm in there. I always wash my clothes in cold water, so it struck me as strange, but I thought maybe it had something to do with how the new washer worked. I put the clothes in the dryer and didn't think about it again. I did a couple more loads over the next couple of days. I think it was maybe load #4 that solved the mystery for me. I stopped the washer after it started to throw one more piece of clothing in, and I noticed that the there was hot water in the machine. Huh?! After a little investigating, I realized that, somehow, Daddy must have crossed the hoses when he hooked them up to the machine. They're connected correctly to the water pipes, so it must be the connection to the machine. For now, my solution was to just set the washer to 'hot' so that it actually washes with cold. I still haven't told him yet, cuz I don't want him to even have to deal with it. I figured at some point over this long weekend, I'll just move the washer myself and switch the hoses. Or, more than likely, I'll just leave it the way it is. ;-)

I'm all bitched out now that I've been sitting here for over an hour, typing away and watching the news, so I'm going to stop now. Hey, it's only 5:45 am, maybe I can go back to sleep for a while. Or, I could join the rest of the nutballs who are out shopping right now. Nah, I think I'll just stay right here in bed and rest some more. I just wish I could lie down and still breath. This sleeping-sitting-up thing is getting old. :(


Clippy Mat said...

phew! That was a very busy bitch fest! Up here in Cana-dia we have to have installed gas appliances checked by a certified gas technician and they have to be approved for use. I think you should have someone check yours out Cheech. I'm worried that you might go BOOM esp. with people with cigs hanging out of their mouths walking around your house. I love the washing machine hook up story. BUT you do realize all of the energy you waste running your dryer outweighs what you saved on washing in cold water? You could hang your clothes to dry overnight and finish them off in the dryer next day... what am I saying? in that fridge you live in they'd only freeze hanging up. LOL
Enjoy your day off. :-)

M said...

Have to laugh at the hot/cold switch up! Mine was like that for a while...finally it is back to the way it should be...after washing all my delicates in HOT water a few times!

Have a wonderful THANKSGIVING! I am rejoicing right along with you and a zillion other teachers that there is no school tomorrow!

Sarahf said...

I like the sound of your unique washer, maybe your Dad was just trying to give you something special!!
Hope it all gets worked out.

Katy said...

Oh girl-that SUCKS!!! I swear that mechanical/fixing/pipes/hoses stuff is the only reason I am married. (Plus killing spiders and disposing of dead mice on the porch - MAN WORK!) I'll have to rent forever if husband ever bails on me! LOL

Get some SLEEP!!! Take a sick day (you're fighting bronchitis right?) and just stay in bed and sleep. Make Studs bring you chicken soup.

Happy Thanksgiving! :)

C said...

what a cluster fuck, cheech... like you said! OMG i bet youre glad its over with. Do get that shit checked out proper, k?
your t-day dinner looks yummyliscious!