Thursday, June 21, 2012
Have you ever "jumped out of your skin?"
Yes, but it was too hard to go on in life as a gelatinous, bloody, oozy, heap of organs, so I put the skin back on.
What the hell? I don't like this prompt. "Jumped out my skin" because I was scared? Or, because I was grossed out? I don't know.
Hmmm, scared...yes, there have been a couple of times I've been REALLY scared. OH!! It just hit me! I TOTALLY remember an incident where I "jumped out of my skin!"
When we were first married, we lived with my mother-in-law for a few months to save up a little money. At the time, she used to keep some bird feeders right on her kitchen window. The feeders had suction cups that kept them stuck to the window, so then you can conveniently watch the birds eat. Sounds great, right? You all know how much I love birds!
Ok, that's not what made me "jump out of my skin," though. The window that had these feeders was right over the kitchen sink, and faced the backyard. One day, I was walking toward the sink, when I a saw something move in the window. Not in front of the window, but IN the window, like between the outer and inner window. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, because it looked like a tail. While my brain was frantically trying to process what the hell it was I was seeing, A MOTHER-SCRATCHING MOUSE started to crawl into the window. A MOUSE!!!!! Oh, and did I mention that the window was OPEN?! Apparently, he was enjoying the all-you-can-eat buffet my mother-in-law set up for him.
That is the first time I was ever that scared. I was literally paralyzed with fear. I was trying to will my body to move, to run, anything, but I couldn't. I couldn't even breathe!
After what seemed like hours, but was probably seconds, the most blood-curdling scream I've ever heard came out of my mouth. At first, I didn't even realize it was happening, or coming from my own mouth. At least it scared the mouse enough to make it turn around and start back up the window.
CSJ came running out of the bedroom since I think he thought I was being murdered. I was still physically paralyzed, and could NOT move, and other than the screaming, I couldn't talk, so I couldn't tell him what was wrong. Thankfully, he must have realized my bugged-out eyes were aimed at the window. He saw the mouse, and slammed the window shut, so it couldn't come in the house.
Then he turned around and yelled at me to "SHUT UP, already!" I think he couldn't decide if he should laugh at me, or be pissed because I was screaming like a baby. But, then he saw how totally FREAKED out I was, and came over to put his arms around me. I was uncontrollably shaking, which then made him feel bad for yelling at me. He then went outside, took down the bird feeders, and who the hell knows WHAT he did to get rid of the mouse. All I know is, it took me forever to get anywhere near that sink again.
Wow, I haven't thought about that incident in a long time. Right now, my heart is pounding just from remembering the trauma of it all. Yikes!! Well, I think that counts as my cardio workout for today, don't you?
Need To Sit Down For This Math
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