Sunday, January 17, 2010

Email of the Day

So much for Weight Watchers:

Yesterday I was buying 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for our
dogs. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant?

Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't
have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the
bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I
was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically
everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food
had poisoned me.

I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my ass
and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.

Thanks, Bestest Friend! This one made my day!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I didn't pay attention to the title...and I thought, NO! She really didn't do that!?" Thanks for the laugh!

Just returned from a 2 day kindergarten conference...thank goodness for no school tmorrow :)