Thursday, August 20, 2009

Email of the Day

***WARNING***
Very politically INcorrect post coming...

Chicago Public Schools
High School Math Proficiency Exam

Student name_________________________
Gang Affiliation_____________________


1. DeShaun has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?

2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine, and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Diego for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?

3. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?

4. Jerome wants to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?

5. Juwan gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy, and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen two BMWs and three 4x4s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $950?

6. Miguel is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife is spending $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out of prison Extra credit: How many years will he get for killing the bitch that spent all his money?

7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 8 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?

8. Hector knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hector knocked up? Extra credit: Determine the expected ratio of boys to girls of Hector's offspring.

9. Kelvyn shoots into a crowd of people at a block party because he was disrespected 2 hours earlier. What is the percentage of likelihood that he will hit his intended target? Given that number, what is the percentage of likelihood that he will hit a 9 year old in his bedroom on the next block?

10. Riding in a car stolen and driven at a high rate of speed by her Boo, LaQuiSha is hurt when Boo runs into one of Mayor Daley's flower-filled medians. How soon, in days, will LaQuiSha's mama file a lawsuit against the City of Chicago? Extra credit: Estimate, to the nearest $1,000, the amount the city will grant in their settlement to LaQuiSha's mama.

3 comments:

karengberger said...

Did you make this up? Very clever, even if not PC.

C said...

oh fuckadoodledee that is hil-hair-ee-ous! can i copy it to send in email? thanks!

but, its all true even if not PC.

lmao.

c

ChiTown Girl said...

C! You can do whatever you want with it! :) Glad you enjoyed it. Funny cuz it's true....