Friday, July 27, 2012

Appearing tonight at The Improv...

Nobody makes me laugh harder than my son. And, I'm not the only one who thinks he's funny. Almost everyone who has ever met him says he's hilarious. His best friend's mom has been telling me for at least 5 years now that he needs to go into stand-up comedy. She's been known to call me in the middle of dinner at a restaurant, where she's having dinner with my son, JUST to tell me how hilarious he is.

Anyway, I had to share this with you guys because it's STILL making me laugh!!!

Last night, he was out with friends. It was getting late, I was tired, so I shot him a text. Here's our "conversation."

Holy crap, I'm STILL laughing out loud!!

He had me cracking up this afternoon again. Things around here have been a bit crappy, to say the least. I mentioned the air going out, and needing to be fixed. I also mentioned the flooding going on in my freakin' basement. Without boring you with all the minutia, Stud and I had to take a big load of nasty towels to the laundromat this afternoon.

This was the first time he had ever stepped foot in a laundromat. I don't think he was digging it. The laundromat is about 100 yards from a 7-11. On the way there, I asked him if he wanted a Slurpee, his favorite thing on the planet! He had said no. But, after we sat there for a while, in the un-air-conditioned laundromat, I was suddenly the one who really wanted a Slurpee. So, I left him with the laundry and went to get Slurpees.

When I went to pay for our drinks, the cashier asked me if I was going to get a ticket for the Mega Millions Lottery. I am absolutely NOT the kind of person who buys lottery tickets, but for some reason, after chatting with Hannah (the cashier) for a few minutes, I found myself buying 2 quick-picks. I made sure to ask her her name so I can give her a little something when I win.

I went back to the laundromat, and gave Stud his Slurpee. We were sitting there talking when I told him how I had bought a couple of lottery tickets. He stopped drinking his Slurpee, turned toward me, and said, "WHAT did you do?" I told him again, and he says "You bought a lottery ticket?"

"Um, yeah...."

"Given your luck lately, do you think that was the smartest decision?" Ha!! He's such a smartass!!

Then, he kept going.

"So, we're sitting here at the laundromat, drinking Slurpees, you don't have a JOB, and now you're buying LOTTERY TICKETS?! You don't see it?!? Are we stopping at the trailer park on the way home?"

I couldn't help it, I spit Slurpee all over the place! That kid just cracks my shit up.


karen gerstenberger said...

Mine, too. I especially loved the screen shot of your TXT conversation! He is one quick dude.

Pissed Off said...

He is great!

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Love it! Sounds like my smartass kid.

Melanie said...

I just peed a little bit.

I'm also glad that I'm not the only one who sends text messages in Ebonics. It's my love language.

Get that kid a stage!

Oh, and glad to see you back. I think you just took a break because I did, you big follower. But, I guess you just want to be with me and I totally get that.

Dead in a ditch with hookers. He slays me!

Funny in My Mind said...

Sounds like a recent text from Nick, my little one. He said he was smoking crack with hooligans.
Kids are funny!!

Jen said...

Car up on blocks in your yard? ;)

dkuroiwa said...

that's hilarious!!!
i love the humor that our sons, i'm for so very sure, get from us!! hahaha!!

the other day, my 14-year old noticed on a poster at a community center that i was teaching a special "daily english" class....later he asked me if that meant i was teaching them things like "dammit/oh shit./ did you not understand me the first time?/ 5 second drop rule, dammit, pick it up!!" smartass kid.
my answer? no....not "mom's daily english" but more generalized.

hve a great weekend!!!

Anonymous said...

The text message exchange really made me laugh. He's witty as hell and he's lucky to have a mother with such a good sense of humor. :)

My girlfriend performed improv for years (still does but not as often) and loved it. You need to be quick on your feet and see the funny before it's even funny. Sounds like it might be a good fit for Stud.