We interrupt our mourning period with this...

I'm very proud of the way I just held my tongue with CSJ. He came to pick up my son, and I decided before he arrived that I would be "nice," considering the circumstances. I was even able to give him a heartfelt hug, and have a decent conversation.

In the past two days, I've had to put out nearly $1,000 for my son for various things, such as doctor's appointments, school supplies, gym uniform, books and this morning, the orthodontist. He'll be getting braces Monday morning, and this morning we went for the "records" appointment. They took tons of pictures and x-rays, and I think an impression of his teeth. They wanted $240 for this appointment, and I need to bring them a butt-load of money on Monday morning. The total for this little extravaganza is $5,124. I seriously almost fainted right there in the "finance manager"'s office. If I pay in full on Monday morning, I'll get a whopping 5% discount, which comes to about $250. Woo hoo! I can also choose to put it on a credit card and get a 3% discount. Or, finally, I can give them a down payment of $1,224, and then pay $195 for the next 20 months. All of those options sounds like "fuck you!" to my pocketbook.

Anyway, getting back to CSJ, he obviously will be responsible for half of this bill. However, we're still at each other's throats about tuition for high school, so I wasn't exactly sure how to bring this up. Quite frankly, he could give me the royal 'screw you' and not help me pay at all for the braces. My name is on the paperwork as the sole responsible party, since I carry the insurance (which doesn't even cover freakin' orthodontia, by the way!!) so I really have no way to make him pay. But, as much as I hate him, I know that deep down, he'd do anything for his son.

So, I wasn't going to even mention the whole braces thing when he was here, since I figured this wasn't really the time. But, as he was leaving, he asked about it. I still said, "Let's talk about it later." But, he wanted to know, so I showed him the paperwork, I think he peed a little in his pants. Believe me, he was about 90% subdued from his usual behavior, but I could tell he was still pissed off about it. But, when he started bitching about how "5 grand is a lot of fuckin' money, I'm already workin' 7 days a week..." I instantly turned into my usual bitchy self, but thankfully only in my head. My immediate thought was, "FUCK YOU, JAGOFF!! Sell the cunt's ring, and you could pay for the braces twice, motherfucker!!"

Luckily, he just lost one of his best friends, so I was able to keep it together. But, seriously!!? I wanted to punch him in the face! Naturally, he had to go on and on about how "your mom is being taken." "You don't even need braces. Your teeth are perfectly straight..." blah, blah, blah. All the same shit I heard three years ago when I took him the orthodontist the first time, at the recommendation of our dentist, and I've been hearing it every single time the subject gets brought up. My son's teeth are perfectly straight, that's not the problem. The problem is his bite, which needs adjusting. So, just shut the hell up, and pay for the damn braces!! Ugh!!

OK, I don't want to bitch anymore about CSJ. I really, truly do feel horrible for him. He's been through a lot in his life, and has suffered some really horrific losses. Actually, WE'VE suffered some horrific losses, but that's another post. Or two, or three... I loved this man more than life at one point, and I'll always love him on some level. It hurts me to see him suffering. Ok, the water works are starting, which means this post has to end.