Thursday, January 3, 2013

Email of the Day

Of course, my Daddy sent this.  They're oldies, but goodies.  I know I haven't been around here much lately, but I HAVE been posting on my other blog every day, just in case you're interested. =)
 
I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 79.
I'm so happy, because I live at number 85.
So it's not too far to walk home afterwards.
And it's the same side of the street.
I don't even have to cross the road!
~~~~~
Answering machine message,
"I am not available right now,
but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the beep.
If I do not return your call,
you are one of the changes."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
and take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that,
by the time you're old enough to know your way around,
you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time
to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the
Pledge of Allegiance?"

6 comments:

Pissed Off said...

LOL

Busy Bee Suz said...

Very funny....but the one from Jay Leno is awesome.

Jim said...

These are great! Happy New Year Lisa!
Jim

Chippy said...

Very funny

Stopping by on the Post A To Z Road Trip :)

Chippy

Mary A. said...

Love these -- my dad circulates corny old jokes via e-mail too. Charming! (when it comes from him. From anyone else? Ugh)

Melanie said...

Hey! Where are you lately? I was just getting reading!