...really hard to let this go. I've been sitting on my hands all week to avoid posting about this, but I can't help it. The Girl broke up with Stud Muffin. And, I think she did it on Facebook!! WTF?? I know I should be minding my own business, and know I shouldn't be one of those moms, but it's killing me. Stud keeps saying they're just "on a break" ( a la Ross and Rachel!) but I'm pretty sure she's already got a new boyfriend, which is the reason she broke up with Stud. My heart is breaking for him. I'm afraid he's completely in denial about the whole thing, which is making it even harder to watch. I've been biting my tongue, as to not try and give advice, or words of wisdom. But, I feel like I should be saying something to my baby.
On a weird note, CSJ has been especially cordial lately. We've been talking a lot, mostly about this situation. Apparently, the honeymoon is over, and he's VERY ready to be divorced again. I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't make me a little giddy to hear that. (I know, I know, I'm already on the express train to hell, what's the difference now!) Unfortunately, that also means I've been getting a lot of "I really screwed up, I let a good thing go, we could have had it all, etc..." I seriously need all my Bloggy Buddies to say a prayer or two for me to remain strong. As much shit as I've talked (written?) about what a bastard he is, and how much I hate him now, I'm embarrassed to admit that I still love him. It's true what they say - there's a very fine line between love and hate. I'm afraid of letting my guard down, and getting my heart stomped on again. But, truth be told, if he said he wanted to come back home today, I'd probably welcome him with open arms. Naturally, there'd be some serious ground rules (#1 being NO GIRLFRIENDS!) but I think I could give it a go. Then again, that's how I feel right now, in this moment. I realize I'm in a weakened state thanks to him being so nice recently. It reminds me of what the good times were like, you know? Ah, well, he'll probably do something stupid this weekend to piss me off, and I'll remember how much I hate him, and all will be right with the world again. :)
Opening my eyes
5 hours ago