Friday, July 31, 2009

I've been trying...

...really hard to let this go. I've been sitting on my hands all week to avoid posting about this, but I can't help it. The Girl broke up with Stud Muffin. And, I think she did it on Facebook!! WTF?? I know I should be minding my own business, and know I shouldn't be one of those moms, but it's killing me. Stud keeps saying they're just "on a break" ( a la Ross and Rachel!) but I'm pretty sure she's already got a new boyfriend, which is the reason she broke up with Stud. My heart is breaking for him. I'm afraid he's completely in denial about the whole thing, which is making it even harder to watch. I've been biting my tongue, as to not try and give advice, or words of wisdom. But, I feel like I should be saying something to my baby.

On a weird note, CSJ has been especially cordial lately. We've been talking a lot, mostly about this situation. Apparently, the honeymoon is over, and he's VERY ready to be divorced again. I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't make me a little giddy to hear that. (I know, I know, I'm already on the express train to hell, what's the difference now!) Unfortunately, that also means I've been getting a lot of "I really screwed up, I let a good thing go, we could have had it all, etc..." I seriously need all my Bloggy Buddies to say a prayer or two for me to remain strong. As much shit as I've talked (written?) about what a bastard he is, and how much I hate him now, I'm embarrassed to admit that I still love him. It's true what they say - there's a very fine line between love and hate. I'm afraid of letting my guard down, and getting my heart stomped on again. But, truth be told, if he said he wanted to come back home today, I'd probably welcome him with open arms. Naturally, there'd be some serious ground rules (#1 being NO GIRLFRIENDS!) but I think I could give it a go. Then again, that's how I feel right now, in this moment. I realize I'm in a weakened state thanks to him being so nice recently. It reminds me of what the good times were like, you know? Ah, well, he'll probably do something stupid this weekend to piss me off, and I'll remember how much I hate him, and all will be right with the world again. :)

12 comments:

jlo said...

Poor Stud Muffin. The first broken heart is always the worst. I can understand wanting things to be right with CSJ. No ones dreams of geetting divorced. I will hope that whatever is meant to be...will be. How about that?

Clippy Mat said...

oh wow. that is quite the conundrum you got there.... time is on your side though. time to think.
as for s.m. he will heal. it sounds like he got lucky when she said goodbye. she sounds like a real winner!
thinking of you.
;-)

miss r said...

One of my younger brothers just went through this, too. It was definitely difficult to watch, but in time, he healed.

As for CSJ, HECK NO! He does not deserve you. If it took him this many years to realize that then he is a ding dong.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Poor Stud. Everyone gets their heartbroken...at least one time. Mine was done over the phone, for we did not have facebook or texting yet. :)
He will be fine, you know how strong our hearts are..they heal eventually.
Now for you: STAY STRONG!!! Don't let him convince you he has changed.

karengberger said...

I'm so sorry for Stud. That first heartbreak IS hard; JLo is right. I still recall mine! If it will help, if/when he recovers from denial, be sure to tell him IT HAPPENS TO EVERYONE. And to some of us, more than once...

As to you and YOUR heart, all I can say is, listen deeply. It's so tempting to give a second chance, but sometimes, it leads to a second hurt. On the other hand, it might work, sometimes. Only God knows. Blessings to you.

Miles To Go Before I Sleep...... said...

Ok... number 1... stud muffin...

He'll learn and he'll grow :) Yeah, facebok is a SHITTY way to end something but in a teenagers mind, I guess anything goes right?

number 2...

Ok. I've been in your shoes and it's really... like REALLY REALLY hard to hear all the nice stuff he's saying right now and keep a strong willed attitude... BUT... he knows what you want to hear... and he'll say it over and over again until he WINS. I love ya girl but please stay strong. If he wants you back, and you him, then he needs to WORK for that. There are no freebies in the world... always remember that. As well do you...

I can say from experience, it CAN work a second time around but it takes a lot of work, and it can never be done with just words... actions have to go as far as the words do.

Love you. Hope we see you in September! (BTW, could you email me your address so I can get an invite out to you??? what if I say pretty please?? ;-)

Saii said...

I don't know the whole story but I think I know the main part of it...


May God give you direction and strength


:)

C said...

first of all congrats on the weight loss! keep it going sistah!
second, and oh hell to the yes there IS a second... dont fall for it. ex's know exactly what buttons to push to get their way. actions will speak louder than words so honey, SISTAH, dont be a FOO! let him prove it to ya first.

poor studly. her loss the lil bitch.


c

Lakeland Jo said...

I hope you get the right outcome whatever it is. Sorry to hear about stud muffin- breaking up on facebook- thats the kids of today for you ( boy- I sound ancient)

Jason, as himself said...

My daughter just broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. It was rough!

And I say don't trust CSJ, at least not enough to get back together again. Friends? Sure. Back together? That idea scares me because it rarely works.

K-Teacher said...

His heartbreak will heal in time.... as for you "sister" I've been in your shoes, it took me almost 10 years to get over the wrong guy. Be careful your heart is a precious gift .... don't give up.

endswith8741 said...

My mom always said she hated getting attached to my boyfriends, because she hated it when we broke up!!! Obviously, I'm nowhere near that parenting stage yet, but I can see how you'd want to go in and fight for your kid.

I wish I could comment on your relationship with CSJ, but it sounds like there is so much history there to sort out. I just want the best for you, whatever that is.