So, as I was saying...

We visited with my mom for a while, telling her the whole saga of the missing phone.  Then we eventually said our good-byes so we could head to the bank.  As we were walking out her door, Stud says, "Hey, where are my glasses?!" 

 ARE YOU FREAKIN' KIDDING ME!??!

I seriously wanted to punch him in the throat!  If I was Suz, I would have shanked him!

I KNOW he had them on his face when we were walking out of Walmart, so we figured they HAD to be either in my car, or my parents' house. But, lately, he has gotten into this habit of hanging his glasses on the collar of his shirt.  You know, instead of actually WEARING them!!  So, there was no telling where the hell he might have actually lost them. My fear was they fell off his shirt when he was either helping me put our bags in the car or when he was putting our empty cart in the cart corral.  If either of those had happened, all I could picture was his glasses smashed in the parking lot, having been run over by who knows how many cars. 

He and his grandmother looked all over her house, while I searched every nook and cranny of the car.  Nothing.  We decided we had to drive all the way back to Walmart and search the lot.  Grrrr!

We drove back to the area where I thought I had parked, and looked up and down the parking lot, and in the cart corrals.  No glasses.  Stud went into the store and asked at customer service if anyone had turned in any glasses.  Nope.  He then went and looked in every single cart at the entrance.  Nothing.  We did one more drive through the parking lot, but didn't find anything.

By now, my blood pressure was sky-high, and I may or may not have been screaming at him about how damn irresponsible he is, and how HE was going to be paying for a new pair of glasses, while listening to him whine about how now he can't even drive because he needs his glasses.  The whole scene was something out of a bad reality TV show.  I'm not proud of it, but I know how I can get. :-/

We finally left Walmart, and headed to the bank, then went home.  Magnum was already home when we got there.  I walked into my bathroom, and the first thing I saw on my sink was a pair of men's glasses next to my own glasses.  I asked Magnum if they were his, but they weren't.  I called Stud over, and you guessed it.  They were his! 

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

I haven't got anything close to a rational explanation for how those glasses ended up in my bathroom.  Well, other than Divine Intervention, that is.  The entire time I was driving back to Walmart, I was praying and praying for us to find those glasses.  Right now, we really can't afford to be replacing glasses that cost over $350.  Plus, like Stud said, he can't drive without them, and it would have taken a minimum of a week to have a new pair made.  I would have had to drive him everywhere until the new ones were ready.  I should probably mention that he DOES has a second pair, but they broke about a month ago, and we never got around to bringing them to the eye doctor to get repaired, mostly because I was afraid of how much it would cost.  So, yeah, I was praying hard to find this pair.

Not only do I KNOW he had them on his face when we left Walmart, there would have been no reason for his glasses to be in my bathroom in the first place.  Magnum and Stud are basically barred from using "my" bathroom.  They share the bathroom in the basement, and I have the upstairs bathroom all to myself.  Magnum is lucky I let him occasionally pee in there so he doesn't have to go down to the basement every time.  But, Stud just about NEVER uses my bathroom.  MAYBE once a week, if that.  That's mostly because he never ventures up from the basement unless he's at work or school. 

My point is, I have no freakin' clue how or why those glasses were in my bathroom, but you better believe a sent up a giant prayer of gratitude.  My mother was completely freaked out by this whole thing.  How about you?  Does it freak you out or reaffirm your faith?  I'd love to hear what you have to say.

F@%* Me, Friday

Stud and I had a very busy day today.  He worked early this morning at the grocery store, then when he came home, we took a drive out to his school to take care of a few things.  He needed to pick up his paycheck, and find out about, what we thought were, missing checks.

We were there for quite a while, and walked from one end of the campus to the other.  We walked back across the campus to the car, and as we were getting in, Stud realized his phone was missing.  UGH!  He frantically searched the car, but it wasn't in there.  We then realized we were going to have to retrace every step we had taken in the last hour and a half.  Double UGH! 

Now, let me back up a minute and get some bitching out of the way.  When Stud came home from work, he changed out of his uniform.  He put on a T-shirt, and his flippin' pajama pants.  I can't STAND it when he wears his pajama pants out in public, which he does all the damn time, including to class.  Granted, they are solid black and fleecy, as opposed to plaid flannel, or something like that, so they sort of just look like sweatpants.  But, still, I think he just looks sloppy, because they are so loose and baggy.  I asked him to put jeans on, but he refused.

So, now let's go back to school.  We established that the phone must have fallen out of his pocket.  He got back out of the car, and started retracing his steps.  Oh, wait, I forgot to mention that as we walked from building to building, I used to concrete walking paths.  Stud, on the other hand, took the "short cut" and walked across the grass.  I'm pretty sure it was just to annoy me. :-/ 

He started to walk across the first patch of grass he walked across when we got there, then went into the building.  I originally was going to wait in the car, since it was freezing outside, plus I was pissed at him for being so irresponsible.  But, after about a minute, I figured, what the hell, I might as well look, too.  I took about 5 steps across the grass, between the same two trees he JUST walked between, and lo and behold, there, buried in the carpet of ivy on the ground, was his damn phone.  I think I was more annoyed that he had just walked past it a minute ago and didn't even see it, than the fact that he dropped it in the first place. 

Stud seems to have whatever that gene is that most men have.  When they are "looking" for something, unless it jumps up and bites them in the nose, they can't see it.  ANNOYING!

After I found the phone, I still ended up having to literally chase Stud all around campus.  Gee, if only I could have called him on his PHONE to say I found his PHONE.  He was too far ahead of me to even try yelling across the open campus for him.  I had to just hope that at some point, he would stop long enough for me to catch up.  Luckily, that's exactly what happened.  I finally found him in the department office where he works, on the phone with security, trying to see what they could do for him.

Ok, so we walked ALL the way back to the car again, and went on our merry way.  From there we went straight to my favorite store (yes, Walmart!)  We were there for a while, then had to stop at my parents' on the way home to pick up one of his paychecks before heading to the bank.  That's when the next part of this craptastic day happened.  But, I'm going to save it for tomorrow, so I'll have something to post about. Besides, this post has already been WAY too long, and WAY too boring!  ;-)

This is the kind of day I've had... (AKA 2013 Day Twenty-Nine)

But, I didn't want to drop the ball with only 2 days left of NaBloPoMo.

It's so hot....

I'm sooooo hungover after my BIRFFDAY bash! I hope this breakfast helps.

This just landed in my inbox. My brother is crazy. (And please don't comment about how inappropriate it is for him to say his baby has a hangover. It's a freakin' JOKE people!) This picture is too cute. But, I want to know why a certain auntie wasn't invited!!

(Hey, Jo! Recognize this restaurant? =) )

I really wanted to share the party with you yesterday, but after a LOONNNGGGG, exhausting day, I walked into a house that was hotter than it was outside! Remember, friends, we're in the middle of a freakin' killer heat wave. Yep, my flimmin' flammin' air is out. AGAIN!!!!!

So, I'll be back to share after this hell is over. I was actually able to get a hold of my dad's friend (the one who fixed it last time) and he's on his way over. I hope he can fix it today because it's supposed to hit 100 again tomorrow. It's already 88 in here.

Griping

Ok, I didn't bitch about this Saturday when I noticed it, but now I just have to. As we were driving from my in-laws Saturday afternoon, I noticed a freakin' chip in the windshield of my, I mean Stud's, new car. ARGH! I was just so annoyed!! I knew it had to be fixed ASAP, especially because our temperatures are supposed to plummet this week, down to the 20s. (My happiness about this is a whole separate post!) I didn't want to take a chance on waking up to a huge crack across the windshield

We got home and all started getting ready for the concert. While I was showering, etc., CSJ called a few local places to get prices and so on. We wound up making an appointment with a place just a few blocks away from the house. They said they'd be out Monday morning. Great! "We'll call in the morning when we're on our way." Super!

This morning, CSJ stayed home to wait for them. They had told me on Saturday that they would be there between 8-8:30. Well, 8:30 came and went, no call. 9:00, nothing. By 10, CSJ started calling them. It was a series of phone tags calls, which really pissed him off, especially because he blew off work to wait for them. It's nearly impossible for me to do anything from work because a)I'm busy TEACHING and b)I couldn't get a signal on my phone even if I wanted to call someone.

I called home when my class went to lunch and spoke to Stud. "Did they ever show up?!" "Yeah, about 5 minutes after Dad left for work." Ugh!! Whatever, they made it. I just hope they did a good job. I had left cash for Stud to pay for the repair - $80. Um, yeah, don't even get me started!

Well, if all that wasn't aggravating enough, when I got home from work, I checked my email, as usual, and almost screamed when I opened my Groupon email. One of the deals today was - ready? WINDSHIELD REPAIR!! Oh, and the BEST part? The deal was for $19!!! We paid FOUR times that! AARRGGHH!!!!

There was one teeny tiny thing that made me feel a little better, though. One of the other million emails in my inbox was one from the car dealership. It was a survey about our overall satisfaction with our experience last week. Well, they just happened to catch me at a bad time. Boy, did I unload!

My top four complaints were this:

1. While test driving the car, CSJ noticed the brakes were a little wonky. We were assured they were going to fix that before we left. Not so much. As I mentioned last week, I still felt something weird when I drove home that night.

2. As part of our "negotiations," CSJ got our sales guy to agree to sending us home with a full tank of gas. Instead, we had 1/4 tank. I didn't know CSJ made that deal, and since I drove the car home, he didn't know it wasn't taken care of until it was too late.

3. The fact that it cost us another $90 for a spare. (Bullshit, I say!)

4. The fact that we now had to spend another $80 to fix the windshield.

The last thing on the survey was a box where they asked what they could do to make your experience better. I wrote, "Reimburse me for the $90 key, and the $80 windshield repair." I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens, right? If nothing else, I was able to get it off my chest.

7/31/11

Well, I survived another month of NaBloPoMo. I always say I'm not going to do it again, but then I see the topic for the next month, and I start to waiver. (BTW, next month's theme is fiction)

Keeping it short again, cuz I'm REALLY feeling bad today. I haven't had cramps like this in a while. Sorry, I know, TMI.

The (boring!) air-conditioner saga

My (ex)brother-in-law was here for about 2 hours yesterday, sweating his ASS off in the sweltering heat, trying to fix my air-conditioner. I'll spare you all the boring details, but he realized that, for some reason, the unit keeps tripping the circuit breaker. The first 2 times he got it to run, it tripped the breaker in about 30 seconds. He then took the whole unit apart and cleaned the hell out of it (it was nasty!! No one ever told me I was supposed to clean it!) then got it running again. It stayed on! Woo hoo!

He called a buddy of his who's a heating/air-conditioning guy, and they determined that the fact that the power went out 3 times in the last week and a half somehow affected the compressor. Thankfully, the compressor has a 10 year warranty.

I was hoping I wouldn't have to do anything else about it, since it was running when he left. However, once again I woke up feeling sweaty, and realized that the air was blowing warm again. Damn it!!! I flipped the circuit breaker, the air kicked on, but then went out about a minute later. Shit, shit, shit!!! The last thing my brother-in-law said as he was pulling out of my driveway yesterday was, "Hey, don't keep flipping that breaker, you'll short it out and burn your house down!" (Yes, he sometimes likes to be dramatic) So, I debated whether or not I should try it again. I figured one more time couldn't hurt. I flipped it on, and before I walked across the room, I heard it click off. FUCK!!

I sat there for about 5 minutes trying to decide if I should bother trying it one more time. I finally determined that the third time's a charm, and flipped it one last time. Success!!! That was at about 11am, and now it's after 8:30pm, and thank the Lord, it's still on. I'm still going to call the nearest Lennox dealer tomorrow to see how much a service call costs for someone to come out and check the compressor. I definitely can NOT live without air-conditioning!! Especially since our heatwave shows no signs of going away anytime soon. Poop.

Cranky Update

Well, I woke up in a pool of my own sweat this morning (sorry for the repulsive imagery) and knew that the air-conditioner was not working. I could feel warm air barely blowing out of the vents. I headed down to the basement to, I don't know, look at the blower. I flipped on the light in the laundry room and was greeted by a small pond on the floor. The big storm must have hit overnight. I slept through the whole thing.

So, now I get to clean up the floor, and then clear out at much crap from the laundry room as I can so that a repairman can get in there. That's no easy task, believe me. The upside of of changing the basement plans to include this laundry/utility room is that I now have a room to hide/store stuff. The downside is that I now have a room to hide/store stuff. It's just full of crap right now, and I'm going to have to deal with it, whether I want to or not. Poop.

I just heard a teaser for the morning news that mentioned the big storms we had overnight, and all the flooding they caused. Great. I'll watch the news while I swab the deck.

Oh, c'mon already!!

I've been feeling hot and cranky all day today. It started this morning when the power went out, leaving me without air-conditioning for a while. Like I said earlier, I opened the windows in my room just a crack, just to get some air circulating. All that did was let the humidity in, making it more miserable.

Like I said, the power, thankfully, was only out for a bit this morning. However, it just wouldn't cool off. I turned the thermostat down a bit, hoping that might help. I took a cold shower around 5, which helped for the moment. Later, I actually went to lie down on my bed, right in front of the fan, hoping to cool off. I ended up falling asleep for a little while, but woke up because I was so hot. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and got up to see what the hell was going on. My thermostat was set at 75, but the temperature of the house read 87!! WTF??!

I checked to make sure the fan was on, then walked over to a vent, thinking that maybe it was just blowing warm air. Well, it wasn't blowing at all! Again, WTF?!

I ran down to the basement, and sure enough, nothing is happening. I checked the circuit breakers, no problem. Then, I opened the front of the furnace. I don't know what the hell I was looking for, but I did notice that the air filter hadn't been changed in a while. So, I grabbed a new filter, slid the old, dirty one out, and started to slide the new one in. I figured, if nothing else, when the HVAC guy came for the inevitable service call tomorrow, he would at least find a clean filter.

As I was trying to slide the new filter in, I somehow bent the cardboard frame a bit, and it fell to the bottom, hitting the blower. Low and behold, it started up. For the third time, WTF?!? I have no idea what made the blower start working again, but you know what? I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

The last couple of days, I feel like the universe has been angry with me for something. Yesterday, when I walked out to take Stud to school, my car was dead. I tried unsuccessfully to jump it from my mom's car before leaving with her for lunch. Then, after lunch, I tried it again. It still didn't work. Last night, after he ate dinner, my poor daddy came over and took care of it for me.

Then, this morning, the power went out. Now, this weird air-conditioner thing. I hope to God it doesn't go out again. My air-conditioning unit is fairly new (less than 3 years) but my furnace/blower is pretty old. I hope I don't have to replace it, cuz that would suck hairy donkey balls.

On a different note, we apparently have big storms rolling through tonight. When I went outside to throw the dirty air filter away, I was stunned to see a light show going on in the distance. I ran back in the house to grab my crappy camera so I could try and capture some of it for you.

Unfortunately, after I downloaded these to my computer, I tried to watch them, and they were almost pitch black. But, I figured, what the hell, I took them for YOU, the least you could do is watch them! ;-)

Ok, I just watched these through Blogger, and they're pretty awful. You can see the lightning, but you can't see what it really looked like. The sky was pretty light, and the lightning show was going on behind a curtain of clouds. Eh, I tried.

I may be gone soon....

...as this is Day 2 with no power!!! I'll bitch about it later, I'm sure, when I'm not 'borrowing' a wifi signal. But suffice it to say, take a look at my weather widget, then think about ME going without power (and MORE importantly air-conditioning!!!!!!!!!) for TWO DAYS! This just may be the end of ChiTown Girl.....

**Update**
From The Chicago Sun-Times
Here's another one

Wait, where have I heard this before?

You might remember this day, when I had to go to a conference downtown. Well, last Friday, I found out that I had to go to Part 2 yesterday. It was HORRIBLE!!!! It was the same man speaking, and he said EXACTLY the same thing as last time - VERBATIM!!! Oh my hell, it was the worst!!! (A couple of the teachers there said they had to attend this conference at the end of last school year, and it was the SAME speech then, too! They've now had to listen to it THREE times!!) It almost wasn't enough to just be away from the Hell-Hole. Well, ok, yeah, that WAS pretty great, but still.

Traffic was so bad in the morning, it took me well over an hour to get there. Thank goodness THIS was my view as I was crawling along I55. By the time I got there, the yummy breakfast spread was condensed to a mere basket of bagels and a few smears of cream cheese. It was really hard to sit there, let me tell ya.

After the last awful conference, I thought I would bring my laptop and get some work done, but sadly, I couldn't get a wifi signal in the conference center. At least this time I sat with my girlfriend for the whole morning, but it was hard to sit and chat because the speaker was all over the talkers, keeping us in check. For some reason, we were split between two rooms this time, which made it harder to hide in the back of the room and have our own conversation. (Yeah, we're rude like that.)

I did, however, take a few more pictures of the gorgeous view. I wanted to be able to compare the two sets of pictures, especially since now we have snow (YAY!)

The boats, and the leaves, are gone.

Thanks to the very clear, sunny day, you can get a much better view of Lake Michigan, just past the Sheraton Hotel.
Again, the leaves are gone. But look at the beautiful lake!



I planned to share a whole bunch of other stuff tonight, but Blogger makes it so difficult to post multiple photos, that I'm now far too exhausted (and annoyed!) to share any more. I'm going to hit the sack. Oh, and hey, only TWO days til Christmas break! Woo hoo!!!!

Bitch Fest, Part 1

Sometimes I can't believe how grown-up Stud has become. Then, there are times that it's like he's still a little boy. This is one of those times.

We stopped at the dollar store last night to get a poster board for an art project he has to do (photos coming soon!). He wanted some kind of stupid candy, and so he started acting like a little kid, trying to make me laugh and give in. All of a sudden, I hear him say, "If you buy it for me, I'll let you take a picture of me in this hat." I turned around and saw this:


I LOVE the look on the lady's face behind him. I'm sure she was trying to figure out why this grown man was wearing a dinosaur hat AND letting me take pictures of him! Actually, after I snapped this one, she immediately started apologizing for getting in the shot. Then we both had a good laugh at Stud's goofiness.

Now that I've had a few giggles, I suppose I can move on to the hell that the past couple of days have been.

My delivery window on Tuesday was 1-3pm. The truck showed up at around 2. Not bad. The delivery guys were to take out my old washer, dryer and fridge, and then bring in my new stove, refrigerator, washer and dryer. Great. I'll skip ahead to the part where the guy was going to attach the doors to my fridge. I realized that they were attached on the 'wrong' side. It then occurred to me that the salesman at Sears never asked me which way I wanted the doors to open! That was where the day went downhill. The guy told me that they (the delivery guys) weren't allowed to switch the hardware, and that it had to be done at the warehouse before the appliance is sent out. I told the guy to just leave the doors off because I was going to have to switch the hardware myself, so there was no reason to put the doors on just for me to take them back off, right?

As the delivery guys were leaving, one of them calls me over to the door, and shows me the two spots on my landing (you know, the one covered in bamboo!) where they scratched the ever-livin'-shit out of my hardwood!! Oh my hell!!! The scratches are bad. I wanted to cry. He then had the gall to ask me to try and use some kind of product to cover it up, and to not call and complain because they're independent contractors, and if I call and complain, they'd be responsible and it would cost them dearly, and yada yada, yada. I said, "Well, yeah, I'm sure, since it cost ME dearly to put the hardwood in!"

They leave, I start to switch the hardware. Well after taking out the first three screws, I realize I need a bit that I don't have to switch the rest. After doing some swearing, I decide I'm just going to have to put the doors on the way they are for now because my food has already been out of the fridge for a few hours now. I called my dad and he said he would come switch the stuff later. He also said he would come over and hook up all the appliances that night. (I made a roast, with veggies, in one of my crockpots, and a big pot of cream of potato soup in another, so that I could have my parents over for dinner that night. In the windup, my sister and nieces joined us, too.)

I put back the screws I had taken out, then started to put the door on the fridge. Done. That was easy. I then move on to the freezer door. It took me a few minutes to finally figure out that the problem was - the damn top hinge was missing!! I looked all over the basement, no hinge. I went outside and looked all over the backyard, and down the driveway, thinking that maybe it fell out of the box. Nope, no hinge. By now, over half an hour has gone by, and my blood pressure was rising.

I called the service number for Sears. I was put on hold at least 6 times, and transferred to at least 4 different people. Argh! AND, every time I got a new person on the phone, I had to repeat ALL of the same damn information (Name, address, phone number, order number, blah, blah, blah...) I was getting angrier and angrier. Someone finally comes back on the line and says that if I'd like to make an appointment, they can have a service technician come out in the next day or two...WHOA!! Wait a damn minute!! Day or TWO!!!??? Oh, HELL, no! That's pretty much where I lost it. I may or may not have screamed at this woman that my food has now been out of my refrigerator for over 3 hours now, and I will NOT be waiting a day or two, and I don't care if someone goes to the damn showroom floor and takes a damn hinge off one of those damn refrigerators and drives it to my damn house, I WILL get that hinge NOW!!! I then asked her if they could just call the delivery guys and ask them to check the truck. I was put on hold AGAIN! When she came back, she said the delivery guy would be calling me.

While I was waiting for the call, I took a better look at my house and found MANY spots that were scratched/dented/chipped, whatever. I had planned to take pictures for you, but I just haven't gotten around to it yet. I finally got a call about 15 minutes later. The driver tells me that they don't have the hinge on the truck, and asks me if I looked around the basement. REALLY!? Are you fuckin' serious!? No, it never occurred to me to LOOK for it! You're a genius!! Assbag! He tells me that they have to finish their last delivery, and then they'll come back and help me look for it. Yeah, that'll work. In the meantime, my damn food is sitting outside now, in laundry baskets, in an attempt to keep it cool, despite the fact that we were having a mini-heatwave that day, and the temperature was in the 50s. Not exactly enough to keep my frozen food from thawing.

I decided to just start putting my furniture back where it belonged (I had moved it all to make room for the delivery guys to bring the appliances in) and do some cleaning up after the mess they made. Soon, it was time for my family to arrive for dinner. About 5 minutes after my parents walked in, the delivery guy called back. He said they were about 15 minutes away. He then tells me his 'partner' said that when he took the door off the truck, he put it down on my swing in my backyard, and asks me if I looked there. Uh, no, no I didn't. I walked outside while I was on the phone, and sure as shit, there it was!!! DAMN IT!!! I could have put the damn door on the freezer literally FOUR hours ago!!

He then asks if I still wanted them to come back, and I told him, "Absolutely!" I figured, why the hell should I have to put the damn door on, let them do it! They came back, and as the one guy was putting the door on, I showed the other guy (the one who showed my the scratches on my landing) all the other things I found that they damaged. And, I wasn't all that nice about it.

They finish up, and start to leave. The one who put the door on actually had the unmitigated gall to ask me to give them a good rating when the service center calls with a survey later. You know, because "we really worked hard." Are you kidding me!?

I'm going to have to split this delightful story into two parts because this has been way too long already. (I started this damn post well over an hour ago!) I'll come back tomorrow with Part 2. In the meantime, here are my pretty new things.

My brother insisted on upgrading the washer from the one I picked out. This is one of those new-fangled washers with no center agitator. It is a high-efficiency washer, and it has these cool sensors that weigh the clothes and adjust the water levels accordingly. The only thing I've noticed so far is that it seems to take much longer to wash a load of clothes, which doesn't make me happy. I suppose I should read the manual. Maybe I'm not using the correct settings.

After I took these pictures for you guys, I started heading upstairs, and Dorky Dog was there. He is pretty damn cute, isn't he? And, yeah, it HAS been over three years and the stairs still aren't finished. Shut up!

I got nuthin'...

I'm so unbelievably exhausted tonight, there's no way I can put a proper post together. It's already nearly 10:30 here, which is way past my bedtime. I took pictures and everything for you guys today, but I'm just too tired to upload them right now. So, this is going to have to serve as my Day 17 post for NaBloPoMo. I am truly sorry, and I hope you still love me. :(

I promise to come back tomorrow and fill you in on yesterday's disastrous events, which actually spilled into today. Hence the exhaustion on my part. Ok, night, night.

Another day from hell...

I wouldn't even know where to begin to describe the kind of day I've had today. The end of the day was a little better, as I just finished watching a movie with Bestest Friend. Now, I'm in bed, under all my warm blankies, and as soon as I hit publish, I'll be going to sleep. Well, maybe I'll watch the rest of Saturday Night Live. Who am I trying to fool? I'll be asleep before I can close my laptop! If you've had a rough day today, too, this will probably cheer you up a bit...

Still rockin' NaBloPoMo

I'm having a day from hell today! I may or may not come back later to bitch, I mean post, but I don't want to miss getting in a post today. So, in the meantime, enjoy this recycled post (you're welcome, Suz!). I'm sticking with the Italian theme from yesterday.

Capeeshe Italiano........

I'm sending this out to every person I know who is Italian, could be Italian, married an Italian, lived with Italians or wants to be Italian......!!!!!

Let's start at the beginning.

Come stai? Molto bene. Bon giorno. Ciao. Arrivederci. Every Italian from Italy knows these words and every Italian-American should.

But what about the goomba speech pattern? Those words and phrases that are a little Italian, a little American, and a little slang Words every Paesano and Bacciagaloop we have heard, - words we hear throughout our Little Italy neighborhood of New York, or our Boston's North End. This form of language, the 'Goomba-Italiano ' has been used for generations. It's not gangster slang terms like 'whack' or 'vig', if that's what you are thinking---nope, this is real Guido talk!

The goomba says ciao when he arrives or leaves. He says Mama Mia anytime emotion is needed in any given situation. Mannaggia, meengya, oofah, and of course, va fongool can also be used. Capeesh?

He uses a moppeen to wipe his hands in the cuchina, gets agita from the gravy and will shkeevats meatballs unless they are homemade from the famiglia. Always foonah your bread in the pot of gravy (sauce) or you will be considered a real googootz or a Mezzo-finookio.

There are usually plenty of mamalukes and the girl from the neighborhood with the reputation is a facia-bruta, puttana or a schifosa.

If you are called cattivo, cabbadost, sfatcheem, stupido, or strunz, you are usually a pain in the ass. A crazy diavlo can give you the malokya (evil eye), but that red horn (contra malokya) will protect you if you use it right. Don't forget to always say per favore and grazia and prego.

If you are feeling mooshadda or stounad or mezzo-morto, always head to Nonna's and she will fix you up with a little homemade manicott', cavadell', or calamar, ' or some ricotta cheesecake.

Mangia some zeppoles, canolis, torrone, struffoli, shfoolyadell', pignoli cookies, or a little nutella on pannetone. Delizioso! I think I will fix myself a sangweech of cabacol' with some proshoot and mozarell' or maybe just a hot slice of peetzz.

So salud' if you have any Italian blood in you and you understood anything written here! Then, you are numero uno and a professore of the goombas.

If you don't get any of this, then fa Nabola with the whole thing and you are a disgraziato. Scuzi, Mia dispiachay, I didn't mean that.......

Just....... Fugheddaboudit

'CAPEESH?

Randomness...

-Stud Muffin brought home some papers this afternoon from his counselor. Luckily, I had already listened to my phone messages, so I knew to expect them. His counselor wants to make a switch in his schedule to move him up a level in math. He and Stud's teacher feel that Stud is bored in the class he's in now, and the move would provide more of a challenge for him. The downside-he'll have to drop the Honors Art class that he's been waiting 2 years to take. Oh, and he won't have lunch until 7th period, which is one period before the end of the day. We'll have to do some serious talking about this move over the weekend.
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-New Principal PISSED me off today to the point where I'm still too pissed to even post about it. It seems like this entire year is just going to be one thing after another that's going to piss me off. I think it's all part of her master plan to get me to leave. (I know, I know, I still haven't posted about all this crap that started way back in June. However, I'm trying to cut down on the number of f-bombs I drop here, cuz Suz doesn't like them. ;-) )

-The weather here could NOT be any more perfect. As soon as I hit 'publish' I'm going to go lay my fat ass in my hammock for a while. Maybe I'll start reading one of the books from my summer stack that I never got to read.
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-My sister turned 40 on Wednesday (Happy Birthday, Sissy!) and her friends from work are throwing her a surprise party on Sunday. My mom and I are invited. The funniest thing is that the woman who is hosting the party at her house told my sister about the party the day they decided to have it. "Ok, don't tell the other girls I told you, but we're having a surprise party for your 40th birthday. So, just act surprised." That was about a month ago. At this point, the other girls know she knows that there's a party, but they've kept every detail of the party a secret, right down to the menu. That's making it really difficult for me to decide what to make to bring with me. I decided to just make a couple of things I know my sister likes.
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-My mom's birthday was yesterday. (Happy Birthday, Mommy!) It was a bitter-sweet day, to say the least. I don't think it's still completely set in that my aunt is gone. We're already dreading the holidays, as that's probably when it's going to hit us full-force.
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-A girl in my class made an awesome discovery yesterday. There was a baby guppy in our aquarium! The funniest thing is that this particular girl is kinda blind as a bat, and is supposed to wear glasses, although she almost never has them. The baby guppy is seriously smaller than a grain of rice right now, so I don't know HOW the HELL she saw it! When she discovered it yesterday, she yelled out, "There's a baby fish!!!" I was quite confused, and came to look, but didn't see a thing. Naturally, I thought she was crazy, but she kept on insisting. Finally, I saw what looked like a tiny piece of fish food floating around. I really had to focus to tell that it was actually a fish. I don't think that there's normally only ONE fish born (hatched?) but I think what may have happened is that the snail we had (it bit the dust last week) may have eaten the rest of the eggs, and only this one, lone egg survived. (Sounds a bit like Nemo, doesn't it?) Maybe someone out there actually knows something about the life cycle of guppies, and would like to give me some info. It's quite obvious that I know NOTHING about this subject. Anyway, in honor of the fish being born on my mother's birthday, we named it Rosie. :)

-Finally, my Bloggy Buddy, Karen, bestowed this delightful award upon me yesterday. Thanks, Karen!
The Versatile Blogger Award
► Acknowledge the award and thank and link back to the person bestowing it. A good way to do this is through a post such as this.
► Pass on the award to 15 other bloggers: (in no particular order)
Tracey
ModernMom
Tiffany
Katy
Jen
dkuroiwa
Susan
Persnickety Ticker
The Girl Next Door
C
Jo
Heather
JLo
Clippy Mat
Pissed Off
(Suz, I originally tagged you, but then saw that Karen already did when she tagged me, so I gave you a break.)
► Let the new recipients know you've selected them.
► Share seven things about yourself that your readers or followers might not know. (See "Seven Bits," below.)
► Post the badge to your blog.

Seven Bits

1. Although I've wanted to be a kindergarten teacher since I was IN kindergarten, when I started jr. high, and started taking French, I decided that I wanted to be an interpreter at the UN. I took French for two years in jr. high, then continued in high school. I also took 3 years of Spanish in high school, as well as two more years in college. I've (obviously!) been immersed in Italian my entire life. Now, can any of you explain to me why I can't speak ANY of these languages?! I like to say I understand Italian fluently (cuz I do!) but I couldn't get a word out of my mouth to save my life! I have spoken more Spanish, and even French, then I ever have Italian. It just PISSES my parents off, I must say!
2. I'm completely obsessed with Super Mario Brothers 3. I have an original Nintendo console and a Super Mario Brothers 3 cartridge that I still played up until I got myself a Wii last year. Then I bought and downloaded the Wii version. LOVE IT!
3. At some point in my life, I would like to live in Seattle. (Sorry, Laura!) Not permanently, just for a while.
4. My favorite kid's movie of ALL time is The Lion King. When Stud was little, we went through 3 VHS tapes because we watched it every single day. Sometimes more than once. We now have it on DVD.
5. I have a serious magazine addiction. Even though I've cut WAY back on the number of subscriptions I have, I still subscribe to 9 magazines.
6. My super secret fantasy (no, not THAT one!) is to be a professional singer.
7. I am the worst housekeeper in the world. I'm always expecting Oprah or Neicy Nash to come knocking on my door one day! But, hell, I would LOVE it, cuz that would mean somebody would finally clean my house!

Wow, that's a pretty random list of things, isn't it?

I actually stopped during this post to take Stud to dinner and the store, so I missed my chance to read in my hammock. However, I may still go lie out there for a while and listen to the crickets and enjoy the cool breeze. I'm SO happy I don't have to go to the Hell-Hole tomorrow!! Too bad I have to have Buster at the vet by 7:30 am. :(

Why?

Some of you may remember this picture from when I posted it last November. It was taken at my uncle's surprise 60th birthday party. It's a picture of my mother and her siblings, youngest to oldest - my Uncle Ed, my mom, my Aunt Lucy, and my Aunt Marylou.

Yesterday morning, my Aunt Marylou's husband woke up to find her sitting up on the couch, no longer alive. The past 36 hours or so have been just surreal. I'm not ready to say much more, but I do plan to post some more pictures later and probably some memories. For now I'll just say, I'll miss you so much.

ARGHHHH!!!!

Today just sucked some major donkey ass! I have never wanted to get the hell out of school more than I did today. The kids have been just awful the past couple of weeks. I get it, they're ready for school to be over. Yeah, well, me too, kiddos, me too!!! At least they'll be done after next week, unlike me, who doesn't even get a damn break this summer! Ugh! Gee, can you tell I'm incredibly crabby today?

It certainly didn't help that it was in the 90s today, which meant my room was about 100, with NO air conditioning. It felt like we had 100% humidity, too, so we ALL were like limp dishrags all day. But, that didn't keep the kids away from me. Oh, no. It made most of them want to hang on me all freakin' day! God forbid I tried to sit, one of them immediately climbed into my lap. I mean, jeez, I'm glad you love me and all, but shit! Get the hell off me! It's 100 fuckin' degrees in here!!

I am completely drained of all energy. All I want to do is change out of my school clothes, and climb in bed, with my fan on full-blast. I think that's exactly what I'm gonna do. Well, first, I'm going to go down in the basement and grab a bunch of movies, for Movie Fest 2. Hey, I just realized that I should probably just watch them in the basement since it's about 20 degree cooler down there.

Why did this week have 15 days in it?

Sorry, I know I promised to come back and bitch, I mean, fill you in on the rest of my week, but I just haven't been up to it. Today was the perfect shitty ending to a cluster fuck of a week. The highlight of the day - one of my babies was taken away in an ambulance. Oh, no, I am not kidding, I would never joke about that. I'll skip all the details (because I've been fighting passing out all day, from the time it happened, to relaying the story to my sister and Bestest Friend) but this baby had an uncontrollable nosebleed. Oh God, I'm getting lightheaded again just thinking about it, so I have to just stop. Maybe tomorrow, when the nausea subsides, I'll finish writing about my week.

How is it only Thursday?!

This is pretty much the message I got from the Universe yesterday! Thanks, Pissed Off, for this laugh. Why is that every time we have a Monday off, the rest of the week just drags on and on?

And, the warm, fuzzy feelings just keep going. Today was not much better than yesterday, except that there were 5 kids out, so that was a little better. But, my two little trouble makers from yesterday were both there, so I had my fair share of stress today. They ALL were a little nuts today. Even Ms. H. had it with them today. She said, due to their behavior yesterday, she was going to make them have silent lunch today. I made a point of walking all the way into the lunchroom with them, and reminded each and every one of them that it was to be a SILENT lunch period. I left them with Ms. H., as usual, and thought they understood. Well, when Ms. H. brought them back, she was beside herself. Long story short, I told them they would be having silent lunch again tomorrow, and that I will be sitting with them. So much for getting a break tomorrow....

I woke up in the middle of the night last night because I couldn't breathe. All day today, my sinuses have been doing that delightful little dance that goes, "Stuffy nose, runny nose, stuffy nose, runny nose, 1, 2, blow, blow, blow, 3, 4, breathe through your mouth..." You get the picture. So, in addition to dealing with my little darlings and their poor behavior, I was dealing with my nose issues and a head that felt like it was literally going to explode. Oh, and don't forget the friggin' 8th grader I got to babysit all damn day!!

Thank God tomorrow is Friday. I was really tempted to stick around after school and prepare a sub folder, and just take tomorrow off. I'm sure this is just the beginning of my misery with this cold, and it would probably serve me well to have a whole day to stay in bed and rest tomorrow. But, I just couldn't bear to stay long enough to put the folder together, plus it's just more a hassle than it's worth to take a day off. Besides the time it takes to prepare the folder, 95% of the time, the sub ignores the damn folder, and doesn't do anything I spell out in my lesson plans. Plus, they usually let the kids run wild and destroy my room. On top of all that, Ms. H. doesn't work on Fridays, so the sub would be alone, which spells certain disaster for my classroom. If Ms. H. was going to be there, I just may have taken a sick day. I guess I'll just have to suck it up. And, no, I'm not referring to the snot running down my face.