Hi, I'm a complete idiot. Put me in charge of something!

Not much happened today at school, but I do need to vent about our IDIOT of a reading specialist. That woman makes me want to slap the living shit out of her every single fucking day!!!! Pardon me while I put soap in my own mouth....

The other day, she came to me and Dori to tell us that after this second round of DIBELS tests, she isn't going to come to our rooms anymore in the morning because one of the first grade teachers has a significant number of kids in intensive, so she's needed there. What a freakin' joke!! Oh, gee, I'm really broken up about the fact that she won't be coming to me 40 minutes late, only to sit at my back table (keeping ME from using my own damn table to work with babies!) and do NOTHING!!! I've never heard such good news! I don't know why the hell she bothered to even mention it to Dori, since she never goes to her damn room anyway!

This afternoon, she came to get her afternoon group, 10 minutes late, as usual. She was taking them upstairs to her room as we were walking back to our classroom. I'm watching this scatterbrained idiot take my two kids and three of Dori's up the stairs, and she has her head straight up her ass. Any teacher, hell any normal person, knows that you can't just walk ahead of 5 years-olds on the stairs without watching them. You stand at the bottom of the stairs and watch them walk up, they stop at the landing, you walk up, send them to the next landing, etc. This moron is walking up the stairs, paying absolutely NO attention to the kids, and I look up to see T.D. SLIDING ALL THE WAY DOWN THE FREAKIN' BANISTER!!! She didn't have a freakin' clue what the hell was happening behind her! IDIOT!!!! Naturally, I scream up the stairs, "T.D., I don't EVER want to see that again!! Get down here this instant and WALK back up those stairs!" The RI turns around, all ditzy, "What happened?" I wanted to punch her in the face! The other four kids were running and jumping around, as well. Exactly what you want babies doing as they walk up 25 cement steps, right? God forbid one of them falls next time and splits their head open. What the hell would she do? Ugh!!!!! She makes my blood boil!!!! I've GOT to change the subject because I can feel my blood pressure rising...

I got a new student today, and I have another coming tomorrow. We actually have triplets coming tomorrow. They're all girls. I feel terrible that we have to split them up. Two will go to Dori, and I'll only get one since I got the little boy today. I'm already sad for the one I'll get, since her two sisters get to stay together. Maybe we can figure out a way to keep them together. The new boy, T.B., is already in my doghouse. He's going to be a problem, I fear. I had to "talk" to him all day long. He's a fighter, it seems, and had a hard time keeping his hands to himself. We're going to have to nip this right in the bud. I meant to call his mom this afternoon, but we had the after school program, and I didn't get a chance. On a positive note, though, I tested him at rest time (which he was quiet for, by the way, yay!) and he did pretty well. At least he knows all his letters, and about half of his sounds.

It just started storming like hell outside. We've been under a storm watch for a couple of days. The weather man just said that this storm will be one of the top 5 biggest snowstorms since 1999. Yikes! We just got a foot of snow over the weekend! Actually, though, that's just about all melted because the last three days have been nearly 50, and it's been raining all day today. I wouldn't mind another day with only a handful of kids, so let it snow!!

Today's quotes is actually an email I received from another teacher today.

"If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 30 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs,and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist,without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job." ---Donald D. Quinn

Potpourri

The babies cracked me up all day today. It was just a silly day all the way around. At 11:30, smack in the middle of art, we were treated to a play put on by some local high school students. Naturally, things were running a bit behind, so when Dori and I came back from prep and met our classes in the auditorium, they hadn't started yet. Good for us! We didn't miss any of the show. I have to say, the high school kids did a wonderful job. They did their own versions of The Three Little Pigs and Little Red Ridinghood, and another play based on an African folktale. They were great. I hope they'll come back again.

I had planned to rant again about our reading interventionist, but I just don't have the strength. She infuriates me to the point of wanting to rip her hair out! Let me just tell you how the morning with her started. She showed up at 10:00, again 10 minutes AFTER she was supposed to already be in Dori's room, and says, "I figured I'd wait til you were done with your stuff before I came." Yeah, right!! It's more like you were busy doing jack shit like you always are!! OK, I'm stopping now cuz I could write volumes about this!

After all the DIBELS testing I've done these past couple of weeks, I needed to adjust my reading groups a bit. Today, I called each new group over so we could come up with group names. Before the switch, I had 6 small groups going. There were two groups each for benchmark, strategic and intensive students. The groups were all named after Chicago sports teams. We had the Cubs and Sox (benchmark) Bears and Bulls (strategic) and Blackhawks and Fire (intensive).

Now we only have 5 groups. I tried to steer the kids toward picking names that connected to the color of their level. (That's mostly because their senile old teacher has trouble remembering what groups they're in!) The first group to come over were the 6 highest in the benchmark (green) group. I tell them that we're going to pick new names for our groups and asked for suggestions. C.B. says, "The Good Kids!" so matter-of-factly, I couldn't help but giggle. I asked them to brainstorm about things that are green that they could be called. They came up with trees, frogs, turtles and grass at first. My buddy D.J. is in this group, and he immediately suggested money. We tried to vote, but they each kept voting for their own suggestion. They're so funny. D.J. kept insisting they should be called The Moneys, and he did his best to persuade the rest of the group. I gotta give the kid an A for effort, that's for sure! Then I think I may have suggested green M&Ms, and they went nuts. So, their new name is now the Green M&Ms. Yum! My favorite! The other 6 children in benchmark came over, and after going over the list the last group suggested, they voted on being the lizards. Great! Two down, three groups to go!

The first of the strategic (yellow) groups came over and did their brainstorming. After much deliberation, we still couldn't get a consensus. Each of them kept voting for their own suggestion. One of my boys, C.B., almost made me cry. He, like the others, kept voting for his own suggestion up til this point. It was The Sunflowers. I explained to the group that we couldn't pick a name until we had a majority vote. So, he gets this pensive little look on his face, then he sweetly concedes to I.W.'s suggestion, Lemonheads. I swear, I got teary eyed. I guess you had to actually see his face. I then launched into this whole thing about what compromising means, and how very proud I was of him for doing that, and so on. Well, then the third member of the group gave in, too. Yay, we had a name! I then said to I.W., "What do you say to your group?" She immediately said, "Thank you!" and then proceeded to hug them both at the same time. It was so damn adorable, I almost cried again. God, I love these babies!!!!

The second strategic group came over and listened to the unused suggestions of the first yellow group. Since M&Ms and Lemonheads are both candy and edible, I suggested they might want to think of something edible for their name. The first suggestion was Bananas, which is actually one of the names I had been thinking of myself. Another one of them suggested cheese, and still another suggested macaroni and cheese. Cuz, afterall, it's yellow!! Then, one of them decided since the other yellow group was The Lemonheads, they should be The Cheeseheads. Awesome! The rest of the group immediately gave the name a thumbs up, and so they were named.

The last group to be named was my intensive (red) group. Out of the four of them, two were absent today, and the other two were at the back table with the RI. So, I took it upon myself to name them The Cherries. After realizing that four out of the five groups had edible names, I called the Lizards over and explained the situation to them. I asked them if maybe they wanted to change their name, so they started to brainstorm again. After a few minutes and several suggestions, they came up with....wait for it....The Salads!! I kid you not! Hey, it's green and you can eat it! Enough said!

One of the babies in the red group came up to me after I read off the names of the groups and who was in each group. He was visibly upset that I read his name off with the red group. He was in the red group last time, but when I tested him this time, he really did move up to yellow. However, he made it by the skin of his teeth, so I intended to keep working with him in the red group. Actually, he scored yellow in the one assessment that was weighed the heaviest, but red in the other four. I feel he should keep working with the other reds. But, as he gently reminded me, "When I took my test, I moved from the red to the yellow." He was so upset, that I think I may just have to move him to the Cheesehead group. We'll see how it goes next week.

I hope the day goes well for the sub tomorrow. Although, really, I could care less, cuz I won't be there!!! I'm so excited. I'm actually going to be stealing from CPS again. My friend and I plan to sign in and leave the meeting, as usual, but this time, we're actually going to be doing something fun. My friend's friend is the producer of the show "In the Loop," an IVillage show, that's live from downtown Chicago every morning. So, we're going to the show. Yay! The hosts of the show are Bill Rancic, Ereka Vetrini and Kim Coles. I'm really most excited about the possibility of meeting Kim Coles. She cracks me up! I suppose I shouldn't wear the warm-up suit I had planned to wear on my "day off." It wouldn't look so hot on TV, huh? My sister is worried that I'm actually going to be on TV, and I'm gonna get busted. I reminded her, however, that anyone from school that might see me on TV would obviously not be working like THEY'RE supposed to, so I'm not worried.

I suppose I'd better hit the sack so I'm fresh-faced and well-rested for tomorrow. I'll be filling you in on what, if anything, happens that's worth telling.

I very often hear, "You are a saint!" when people hear stories about my job. I loved this quote that I found tonight:

Most saints live to regret their career choice. ---Bob Stokes

You ain't kiddin' Bob!!

I've got mail!

Only in Chicago can we go from windchills of 30 below one day, then 50 degrees the next. All the snow melted this afternoon in the "heat." However, the temperature is supposed to take a drastic turn for the worst, and it'll be in the single digits again tomorrow. Ah, this is why I LOVE Chitown!!

I want to share a couple of things that were in my inbox today. This video goes into the same category as these two favorites:

If you'll indulge me for a moment, I haven't really complained about the Hell-Hole lately. OK, I've complained, but I haven't bitched. Here goes...

The woman who is our 'reading interventionist' is really just such a waste of skin sometimes! I realize that's a bit harsh, but it's the truth! I may have mentioned before that, despite the fact that she's supposed to have been working with our kids since September, she didn't start actually doing anything until after the Christmas break. She's supposed to take a small group of kids every morning during our reading block. Her time to be in my room is supposed to be 9:10-9:40, then she's supposed to go next door to Dori's room from 9:40-10:30. Well, she has NEVER once come to my room before 9:45. (Naturally, that usually means she doesn't even go to Dori's room!) Even then, she's NEVER prepared to do anything!!! Most days, she just sits at the back table and plays with whatever crap she's brought with her that day. Generally, she shuffles papers. Since she's started showing up, she's taken a group of children exactly 4 times. 4 times!!!! Today, she showed up at 9:50. When she walked in, I said, "I'll send your group over." She yells, "NO! Don't send a group! I don't know who they are, or what I'm going to do with them!" What the hell!? Why are you here then, for God's sake!!? Then, after I told her who I was sending her, she then leaves the room to "get materials." Why the hell didn't you bring them with you, idiot!!? WHY would you show up without the things you need to do your damn job?! Ugh!!! SOOOO aggravating!! Then, like she does at least twice a week, she stopped in later to say she wouldn't be able to take her group in the afternoon (like she's supposed to every day!!) because she has a "meeting." How many freakin' meeting do you need to have every week? She uses that excuse at least twice a week! She certainly isn't going to professional development meetings to learn what the hell she's supposed to be doing! I want to slap the crap out of her sometimes! She really makes my blood boil! Time to change the subject...

I lost another baby today. I don't think I mentioned last week that one of the babies transferred out of my class. Another transferred today. And she was absolutely one of my favorites! I'm so sad that A.B. has left me. Of course, she's one of the brightest kids in the class. That's always the way it goes. The top kids always leave, which contributes to the Hell-Hole being such a low-performing school. I really don't want to go off on that tangent so...

Here's another email I received today that made me smile. Enjoy!

Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (or vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they love you

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS

24. The smell of a baby's head.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy or kitten.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38 Holding hands with someone you care about.

39 Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.

43. Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Our children are the cement of life, its up to us to make the foundation of the future! ---Stephanie Cook