Have you giggled today?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

What's the most fun you've had without laughing?

Wait, is this a trick question?! What kind of fun is there to be had without laughing?! Oh....wait....I can think of an answer now, but I can't really share it here..... ;-)

I have a couple of quick giggles to share with you from today at the Hell-Hole. It's DIBELS time again (can't you just feel my excitement? NOT!) which usually means some funny moments.

I called my little buddy, MC, over to take his test. We got through the first test, where he had to tell me the sounds in words. We made it through the next test, where he had to use given words in sentences. The third test I gave him is called Nonsense Word Fluency (NWF), and basically just tests whether or not the babies know their sounds. (For example, the 'word' on the page may be moj. They can either just read it - 'moj'- or they can say each sound individually- /m/ /o/ /j/) There are 5 'words' on each line, and I don't know, about 10 or 15 lines on the page.

Anyway....the first two tests I gave MC didn't require the book. When we got to NWF, I opened the book to appropriate page. He takes one look at it, shakes his head and says, "So...we meet again..." I almost fell off my damn chair!!!! Sometimes I think MC has a 45 year old man trapped in his 6 year old body!

I got TWO new boys today. I'm up to 28 babies now, and we are really feeling crowded in our already cramped room. They are cousins, which now brings me to four sets of cousins in my class. The one little boy, KM, is going to be a challenge, I think. More on that later.

But, this is what I wanted to tell you about. I realize I've never actually put my name on this blog, in the interest of anonymity, but just this once, I have to. (I may just delete this post later.) My married name is Lopez. So, all day, little KM kept calling me "Mrs. mumblemumbleLopez." I couldn't figure out what the hell he was saying all morning. Then after lunch, when he did it again, it sounded like he was saying "Mrs. JordanLopez." I thought maybe his last teacher was named Jordan. I was going to correct him, but I figured, who cares. He'll get it eventually.

When we settled in to work on social studies (MLK unit) I sat across from him at his table. He had a question, and I heard, "Mrs. GeorgeLopez?" Huh?!? Wait, did I hear what I thought I heard? About 30 seconds later, I again heard, "Mrs. GeorgeLopez?" All one word, mind you. I thought I was gonna bust a gut! I managed to keep the roar just a giggle. But, the more he kept saying it, the harder I laughed. The poor baby! When I finally caught my breath, I said, "KM, just say Mrs. Lopez, ok? My name is Mrs. Lopez."

OK, so the next couple times he called me, he got it right. But, within five minutes, I was back to being Mrs. GeorgeLopez. Sheesh, I WISH!!! He's loaded!!!

I'm off to make some games for the babies. They've really been making me smile lately. I hesitate to put it out there, since I'm always afraid of jinxing myself, but so far 2011 with the babies has been pretty damn nice. I'm gonna just leave it at that.

I'm gonna miss that little booger....

Remember my Little Stalker, DS? Oh, I'm just kidding! I think his crush is adorable. Actually, I'm afraid I may be losing some of my pull. After finishing my DIBELS, Reading 3D AND mClass math testing (WTH!? When are we supposed to do any TEACHING!?) I saw that DS scored off the charts on all 3 tests. It was really after I tested him in math that I was blown away by his abilities.

The math series that we use at the Hell-Hole (and most other CPS schools) SUCKS MAJOR DONKEY ASS, in my humble opinion. It prepares them for nothing. It basically has them playing games and singing songs all day. Now, don't get me wrong, you KNOW I'm all for singing songs. But, this particular program has no real substance, as far as I'm concerned. And, I see absolutely no correlation between what's done in Kdg. and what they need to be able to do in 1st. I knew that before I made the move to 1st.

OK, so what the hell does all this have to do with DS, you may ask. After testing him in math last week, I went to New Principal to ask about maybe moving him to 2nd grade. Sounds radical, I know, but believe me, he's just as ready as the kids who started 2nd grade this year, if not more so. His birthday just missed the cut-off, which here in Chicago is Sept. 1. His birthday is Sept. 5. Four stinkin' days!!

At first, New Principal said there was no way we could move him because of the birth date. So then I asked if he could go upstairs to the second grade class for reading. You might remember that he already did that last year, going across the hall to 1st grade for reading. Then, I figured, what the hell, let's see how far I can take this. I asked if he could also go for math. This is REALLY the area where he is light years ahead of the other children. (Just to simplify the scoring system, the children can fall into red, yellow or green, with red being the lowest, green the highest. DS is the ONLY child who scored green in all areas. As a matter of fact, only one other child scored green in ONE category out of the six that are tested. Yikes!)

Surprisingly, New Principal said yes. Great! I talked to my friend, Mrs. F. (who you may remember had a baby back in November. She just returned this week from maternity leave.) and she was more than happy to let DS come up to her class. We decided we would start this week. Monday morning, he came in with my class from the playground, but immediately asked about going upstairs. He was totally pumped for this new adventure. He went up to 2nd grade, and I never saw him again! He stayed for the whole day! As a matter of fact, Mrs. F's class has lunch at the same time that we do, so I just assumed he would come back and eat with us, but instead, he grabbed his tray and walked into the other lunchroom to eat with the 2nd graders. I gotta tell ya, I was a tiny bit hurt. Ridiculous, right?

Yesterday, I never even saw him!! The primary teachers had a morning meeting, which made us late for picking up our classes outside, so I didn't see him outside. I had to ask Mrs. F. later in the day if he was even at school! Today, I at least saw him on the playground this morning, but he went upstairs first thing, and never looked back. I think he likes it up there. Whatta you think?

I gotta tell you, the whole dynamic of my class has changed. Most of the other babies looked to him for what to do. They waited for him to answer first, read words first, say the date first, etc. And, I've lost my little secretary! He used to so many jobs for me, since it was one of the only ways to keep him busy. He collected the morning writing papers, stamping the incomplete papers with the "incomplete" stamper. He passed out supplies, set up centers, took messages, and so on. He practically took attendance for me!

I'll be curious to see which of the other babies step up and try just a little harder now that DS isn't there to do the "heavy lifting" anymore.

I miss my Little Stalker.... :(

And you thought I wasn't going to bore you with this anymore...

Yesterday's note:
My teacher is testing. Do not ! distract her or you will sit by the door or by her desk or by the corner. Do not talk.

Oh my hell! Don't you just love the placement of the exclamation point? This made me laugh, and feel like an ogre at the same time. It's probably obvious by this little love note that I started to DIBEL my babies yesterday afternoon. (More on that later.) It's so critical that they stay quiet while I test, because just like last year (kdg) this test is completely oral. I need to hear EXACTLY what the baby I'm testing is saying. I set them all up at centers, which we practiced the first 3 days of the week. We did some serious practice, because I knew they really needed to know what to do without interrupting me. Or, "distracting" me, as my not-at-all-secret admirer likes to say.

Here's today's note:

I love my teacher because she's cute and beautiful and she loves children. But, BUT, do not talk, talk, talk, talk, talk or she will send you to Ms. Edmond's classroom and she will send you to the office.

I love having him read his notes to me because I love to hear his inflections when he reads. I couldn't even write when he read, "But, BUUUTTT, do not talk, talk, talk, talk, talk...." I don't know what the hell he's talking about, though, when he says, "she will send you to Ms. E...." because I haven't sent anyone out of our room yet this year. I definitely have sent kids out in the past, lest I bust a foot off in some one's ass, but I haven't reached that point yet this year. Hell, it's only been 3 weeks that the kids have been there. So, maybe he's just remembering my M.O. from last year. tee hee!

Why teachers get carpal tunnel syndrome...

This week, the babies FINALLY got to color their very own ABC Books. I say 'finally' because I told them about this project a while ago, and wasn't able to get the freakin' copies made for almost a month. Have you ever heard of a freakin' school that doesn't have a damn copy machine that works anywhere in the building?! OK, before I go off on that tangent, I'll move on...

This is a mini-version of the ABC Book I made and use every day with them. I can't take credit for the adorable pages, they came from a workshop I attended almost 10 years ago. We start using this book on the very first day of school every year. My "big" version has 8 1/2 x 11 pages, and I have both the capital and lowercase letter for each picture, plus the word for the picture. We start from the beginning, and at first we do it "I'll say it first, then you say it." Then I say, "A, aaaaa, apple. (They repeat) B, b, butterfly. (They repeat) C, c, caterpillar. (They repeat)" and so on. We spend a LOT of time with this book in the beginning of the year, and we go ever so slowly. I have them watch my mouth, and I give them little tricks and tips to ensure they say each sound properly. "Your tongue should be touching the top of your mouth." "Don't say 'buh,' it's just b. Remember, it's not a buh-utterfly, it's a butterfly." "Don't say 'puh,' it's just a p, with a puff of air." You get the idea. After a week or two, depending on the group is progressing, I start adding the corresponding ASL sign, which they always LOVE!

At this point in the year, we go through the book in random order, and they just say the sounds for me, I don't say it first. We mostly go through the alphabet once, for practice, each morning. There are a few kids, though, who still need to use the book in the same way we did back in August, as they are really struggling to learn those sounds. They don't have a lot of problem repeating what they hear, but they can not make the association between the sound and the letter.

Anyway, I told the kids a loonngg time ago that we were going to make our own ABC Books for them to take home and practice with. The fact that ALL the babies love this book made it very easy to not single out the handful who don't really get it yet. They were so excited when I finally got the copies made, and they spent almost two full mornings coloring the pages ever so carefully. I asked them to color their pictures as colorfully as possible.

Now, in the past, I've made these books with other classes, and I've let them cut their own pages apart. Sometimes we just use the pages as flashcards, instead of making them into a book. Sometimes I send the pages home so the parents can make the books/flashcards, however, most of the time, the pages never get touched. That's the sad reality with most of my babies' parents. OK, once again, NOT going off on a tangent.

This year, I decided we would make these at school (partly because I needed something for them to work on while I DIBELed, and I knew this would hold their interest long enough for me to get some testing done) and then I would cut them apart and make them into books. Doesn't sound like a big deal, right? Hmmm, have I mentioned I can be a little anal-retentive at times? No? Oh, well, yeah...this would be one of those times.

I wanted them cut a very specific way, which meant I couldn't even ask Ms. H., my parent volunteer, to help. Truth be told, it would have been too embarrassing for me to explain to her the anal-retentive way I wanted them cut.

So, that meant I had to bring the packets home with me this weekend. (I was only able to make one at school.) The first couple took an unbelievable amount of time, thanks to my 'issues,' but once I got into a rhythm, it seemed to go a little quicker. And, by quicker, I mean 20 minutes per book. Yeah, are you doin' the math already? There are 26 pages per book for each of my 23 babies. That's 20 minutes x 24 books (I had to make a sample book, of course) which comes to 8 hours. EIGHT HOURS, people!!! I actually spent 8 hours this weekend making ABC Books!

As I was cutting, I kept going back and forth between thinking, "Oh, it's totally worth it, the babies are going LOVE these, and they're going to use them every day, and they're going to learn their sounds perfectly, and they'll be reading like little demons...." and thinking, "Why the FUCK am I killing myself doing this?! They're gonna take these damn things home and lose them the first fuckin' night. Or, they're baby brother is going to rip it up, or their cat's gonna piss on it. And, even if they don't lose it, their lazy parents aren't going to practice with them, so what's the fuckin' point?!" (Yeah, so the throbbing in my wrist made me a little cranky. Deal with it!)

Here are the pages they colored
and here's the finished product!

Was it worth 8 hours of my life, and the use of my wrist? That remains to be seen. I'm going to think positively, and hope the babies actually use them the way they should. For a brief, insane, moment, I thought about having them make two books - one for home, one for school. But, then I thought about having to cut out 23 more books, and decided I can't do it. Obviously, I could let THEM cut out the second book, which I'm still toying with, so maybe it'll happen.

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I've also thought of 100 things I want to differently next year when we make these. For one, I will run the books off on cardstock, instead of regular paper, so the pages are sturdier. Then, I'd like to laminate the pages. I'm also thinking I will take the time to go buy binder rings to put them together with, instead of the brads I used. It'll make it so much easier to flip through the pages. Right now, the brad makes it hard to see one page at a time. I'm also thinking of perhaps blowing up the pages, so they fit two on a page instead of six, so they're books will be bigger, and then maybe I can bind them with a plastic comb-binding. It's amazing how much your mind wanders while doing annoying, repetitive tasks, isn't it?

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Know what else is amazing? That you're still reading!!! This is the longest post about nothing I've ever done!!! God bless my Bloggy Buddies!! I'll try to write a post that's worthy of your time tomorrow.

The cherry's been popped....

I have FINALLY watched an episode of American Idol. Oh, trust me, I'm not bragging, it's not something I'm proud of, it just is. I had my sister, nieces and parents over for dinner tonight, and one of the conditions for my niece to come was that she got to watch the AI premier. The rest of my family knows I want nothing to do with this show, so she HAD to make sure she could still watch at my house. Kinda funny, no?

OK, so I didn't die, my eyes didn't fall out of my head, my ears didn't seal up (although, more than once I wished they would have!!) and I'm obviously here to write about it. However, I highly doubt I will be watching again. Yes, I laughed, it wasn't horrible, it just wasn't my thing. PLUS, I'm really pissed that I missed tonight's episode of Biggest Loser. THAT'S what I watch while the rest of those goofballs are watching AI. I'm hoping NBC lets you watch their shows online like ABC does, because I'm going to try and watch tomorrow.

One of the reasons my parents agreed to come over for dinner was because my dad had my car. We switched cars last night so he could drive mine today, then take it to his buddy's place and have a remote starter put on it while he was working. He had done the same for my last car. Most people have that feature so they can warm up their cars in the winter. Yes, I do that sometimes, but I mostly use MINE in the summer, so that the air will run for a while before I get in. There is NOTHING I hate more than getting into a stifling hot car. I just can't breathe! So, I start mine in the summer to cool it off. Bottom line - Thank You, Daddy!!

A couple of funnies from today's episode of "Let's Test Our Babies to Death!!"
Given word - which (which every single baby hears as "witch!")
Sentence - "They ride around on mops!!"

Another one of my babies REALLY cracked me up today, and it was exactly what I needed at that moment because I was completely about to snap. While testing this particular little one, I was getting more and more annoyed with him because he just wasn't paying attention and/or trying his best. I knew he knew the things I was asking him, but he was more interested in watching the Between the Lions video playing (yes, I know, I need to find a better way to get the testing done other than putting the TV on!) than focusing on the task at hand. We were on the test where the child has to break words into phonemes (essentially 'sounds'). For example, if the given word is "mop," they need to tell me "mmmm. oooo. p." OK, so anyway, we had done about 4 or 5 words so far, and he was simply repeating the words instead of breaking them into sounds, and I was becoming exasperated. The next word was "by." When said it to him, he immediately turned around and walked away! He obviously thought I was saying "bye" as in, "I'm SO done with you! Bu-bye!" Poor baby! I just burst out laughing, which completely confused him, but it was exactly the tension reliever I needed in order to finish today's testing.

Wow, I just realized how late it is, and I still have some cleaning up to do in the basement from dinner. Time get off this damn computer. Nighty night.... :)

Wow, what a day!

I had a whopping 14 kids come to school today! Woo hoo! It was such a great day. Then, one went home early at about noon, so I finished the day with 13. That's how many I had out yesterday!

I wish I could say that I made productive use of this small class size, and that we did lots of intensive one-on-one lessons, but truthfully, we did a whole lot of nuthin'! The babies got to take out the "computers" in the morning. Since there were so few kids, everyone got their own, and they were delighted about that! While the babies played on the computers, I organized and prepared a sub folder for Monday. I'll be out for Bestest Friend's mother's funeral. I essentially retyped 3 pages of sub plans, then copied worksheets, put together some extra coloring books (in case a time filler is needed) and left everything the sub will need in one place. Then, I typed out the newsletter and made the homework packets for next week. All the sub has to do is pass them out at the end of the day. Why do I have a sinking feeling that the packets will be right where I left them when I come in on Tuesday? I hope to God Ms. H. comes in to help the sub. I told her yesterday that I would be out on Monday. In the past, I had an assistant who took off almost every time I said I was going to be out! Or, if she came (which sometimes she did because then she'd be in charge for the day, as Big Cheese didn't always get a sub for my babies - yeesh, don't get me started....)she would then ALWAYS take the next day off. In some twisted way, she was getting even with me for being out. Bizarre, right? Anyway, I just hope Ms. H. doesn't decide to stay home, because she'll be a tremendous help to the sub.

I jotted down just a couple of funnies from this weeks DIBELing. They're not that hilarious, but they made me smile. The words in italics are the given words, the rest is the sentence they gave. The first three are all from the same little angel. He was cracking me up because he wanted to give the definition for each word instead of using the word in a sentence. But, he was so animated in his explanations, I couldn't help but crack up!

nobody-that means when people are invisible and you can't see 'em!
coach-that's a part of football, soccer, basketball.....oh, and baseball!
path-that means you when you follow a map!
coach-that means football, soccer-ball....

OK, time to finish the dishes. Stud has a friend over, and I need to take them to school in a bit for a basketball game. I'm so glad Stud's friends actually participate in social events at school, because he never would on his own. One of his best friends spent the entire ride home today begging him to come to the game. By the time we dropped him off, he had Stud convinced. Then, as we were driving home, he called to say he couldn't go himself! WTF? But, by then, Stud has already called another friend to see if he wanted to go, too, and now that's the friend who's here. I'm just glad he's hanging out with his friends. I kinda wish they'd decide to skip the game and just hang out here, just because I selfishly don't want to have to go back out tonight. Twice, since I'll have to pick them up. :( The temperature is supposed to take a serious nosedive tonight, with below-zero readings. And, that's withOUT the windchill factor. Yikes! That's a little chilly, even for ME!

Wow, is it Wednesday already?

I kept thinking it was Tuesday all day today. Even when the announcement was made this morning to remind us that there was a staff meeting, my first thought was, "What? Today is only Tuesday, not Wednesday." Duh!!! Now that I'm home, I'm actually a little excited about only having two more days to go this week. Yay! You would think that today would have been a drag since Wednesday is one of the days I don't get a prep (=break) but it really wasn't that bad.

I've been a DIBELing fool for the past three days, though, so maybe that's why it's going by so quickly. There isn't a whole lot of "teaching" going on, ya know? Today, Between the Lions was on for a good chunk of the afternoon so I could get some testing done. I hate that I have to do that, but it's seriously the ONLY way I can get it done. Especially since I have no assistant. Years ago, I would be able to at least set up centers and then leave them with the assistant while I sat in the hallway to test my babies in peace and quiet. But, it's only me now, and it is imperative that they are quiet since the whole damn test is oral. If I can't hear what they're saying, what's the point? I'm hoping to finish all the babies by Friday. There really aren't any funny answers to share just yet. A lot of the "funny" ones are repeats of things I've posted in the past, which actually is pretty funny in and of itself.

I did have to call a mommy today. Not usually something I do, but I was at the end of my rope. I think I just had a very limited amount of patience since I'm on a deadline to get this testing done. The little girl whose mom I had to call is pretty new. She was one of the ones who arrived that last week before Christmas break. She was with us for two days, then we were off for three weeks. But, I'll tell ya, both of those two days she was there I gave her older brother messages for mom regarding her behavior. I told him he should talk to his sister while we were on break and explain to her about following rules, etc. Well, here we are, third day back, and things have only gotten worse.

According to the office, she transferred in from another school, which I find hard to believe. Her brother said she didn't go to school before, which I find VERY easy to believe. She has no concept of following rules or routines, she's very disruptive, walks around all day, can't stay on task, can't sit still, calls the other kids names, and today she added pinching to her repertoire! Oh, joy!

I'm hoping to get somewhere with Mom, but something tells me that's not gonna happen. The older brother is almost always out of his classroom because he's in trouble and basically gets thrown out. This is his second year at the Hell-Hole, and I believe he's in 8th grade now. I don't understand why his little sister wouldn't have started in August when he did. That really makes me believe she's just been sitting home and not attending a different school. Come on, why would mom send her kids to two different schools? Makes no sense.

The mother of these two is Latina (I don't know if the dad is black, or if they even have the same dad, but the sister is much darker-skinned that the brother) and the boy looks like a very fair Latino, which has been adding to his problems. Other than him and his sister, there is only one other Latino boy at the Hell-Hole. All of the other students are black. This caused a lot of problems for him last year, and he got into a fight almost daily. This year doesn't seem as bad, but he's still out of his classroom more than he should be. The funny thing is, I've gotten to know him because he's always out of his room. A few times I've volunteered to have him come sit in my room and help me, just so he wouldn't be sitting outside the office all day, doing nothing.

When the mom registered the little sister (with two damn days to go before break!) I was told that she HAD to be in MY class. I don't know if the brother had talked to the mom about me, and she requested me, or what. I really wish they had put her in that K/1 split class. OK, now I'm just being mean. Once all this crazy testing is finished, I'll be able to focus on what she needs and I'll have a bit more patience (I hope!) to work on straightening her out. In the meantime, I told both the mom and the brother that I'll be calling the house everyday, if need be.

Tomorrow, two of my babies are having birthdays. It always cracks me up when kids share a birthday, and I usually tease them about being twins. Hey, maybe we'll be enjoying cupcakes tomorrow! Yum! We're supposed to get some major snow tonight, so it might be a fairly small celebration. I've had 6 kids out everyday so far. Although, not the same 6! Again, that's great since I only have 24 seats!!!

Well, Stud Muffin is whining for me to feed him (who does he think I am, his mother!?) so I'd better sign off for the night. Plus, there are at least four loads of laundry calling my name. Unless I want to go commando tomorrow, I'd better go do it. (yes, I realize four loads doesn't really sound like a lot, but don't forget - there are only 2 people in this house. AND, one of the two hasn't even been home in almost 2 freakin' weeks. So, yeaaaahhhhh....time to do some laundry!)

Holy Hump Day!

OK, let me get all the personal bitching out of my system, and then I'll move on to school. Like I said Monday, my car is in the shop. My dad managed to jump my mom's car and get it started for me Monday night. But, as I was backing out of the driveway, I noticed the brakes were a little wonky. It only got worse as I drove down the block. I needed to start braking about a half a block before I actually wanted to stop! But, it was late, and I needed to get to school the next day, so I just went home. The next morning, I was super cautious as I drove to work. (Luckily, CSJ drove Stud to school.) I got there in one piece, obviously, but the drive home was a different story. I nearly got into two separate accidents. I seriously almost pissed my pants! I came within literally six inches of crashing into some assbag that pulled out in front of me. Naturally, he was on the phone, so I didn't hesitate to screech "Get the fuck off the phone, asshole!!" in his open window!!

Anyway, I went home, and stayed there last night. Then, this morning I got in the car to leave for work (CSJ drove Stud again) and the car started beeping at me like crazy. There were two separate lights flashing "low brake fluid." I didn't know what the hell to do. On top of the blaring alarm, it was pouring rain this morning. I had no freakin' idea how to work the windshield wipers in this car, and no matter what the hell I did, the damn washer fluid kept spraying on the already soaking wet window! I thought I was going to cry. I called my dad from the car to see if he could drive me to school, because there was no way I was driving into the ghetto in that car. Luckily, he was almost ready for work, so I drove to his house. The funny thing is, the brakes actually worked better this morning than they did last night. I parked the car, waited for my dad to finish getting dressed, and off we were.

My parents have been telling (or is that yelling at?) me for YEARS to get the hell out of Englewood. Every time a murder, or some other crime, in Englewood is reported on the news (which is fairly often) they go off. Well, I knew this ride was NOT going to be pleasant. About half-way there, my dad started. "What the hell happened to this neighborhood?" "Why the hell do you have to come here everyday?" "Why don't you get a new job at a new school?" And, that was when we were in a fairly decent neighborhood still. He was amazed at how it's changed from when we lived in "the old neighborhood," and he used to drive through the same area. It only got worse from there. When we actually turned into the neighborhood where the Hell-Hole is, I though he was going to blow a gasket. When we approached the block the school actually on, the shit really hit the fan. Naturally the buildings directly behind and next to the school are all boarded up, the property is not taken care of, etc. I mean, come on, it IS the ghetto after all. I don't even notice it anymore. He, however, was losing it. I seriously didn't think he was going to let me out of the car. My daddy is so cute. I'm sure I'm never going to hear the end of this now.

Well, like I said yesterday, today we had open house. It was supposed to go from 3-5. I forgot to mention that before I called my dad this morning, I tried calling CSJ, hoping he was still near Stud's school, and maybe he'd be able to drive me to work. But, I couldn't get through on his phone. He ended up calling me back while I was driving to my dad's. I told him what was going on, and he asked how I was getting home. I told him that I could probably get a ride, "unless you want to come to Englewood at 5:00 and get me." I was joking, but he said, "Well, let me see where I am at 5." Hmmm, ok....Again, weirdly nice, right? I wasn't going to bother him, but by the time open house rolled around, I was so freakin' exhausted from herding cats all day, that I figured, what the hell! If he can come, great. If not, I'll go home with my girlfriend. I figured I could weasel my way out of staying for the whole open house if he came because then I could tell New Principal that I had to go because he was my only ride. (She already knew about what happened in the morning, because I immediately called school to let them know what happened and that I would probably be late, etc. She actually came to me later to say "I see you made it. Glad you're here!" And, no, she WASN'T being sarcastic. How refreshing!)

Anyway, I sent CSJ a text around 3:30 saying, "Any chance you'd be able to pick me up?" He got back to me about a half-hour later, saying simply, "When?" I replied, "Any time that works for you. I'll leave whenever you get here." "OK, I'm leaving Ma's right now." Well, hell's bells, he wasn't even working! He was with Stud over at his mom's. Now, I actually felt bad. He certainly wasn't close, plus he never gets time to visit with his mom. Especially WITH Stud! But, at that point, I just wanted to get the hell out of Dodge.

I found New Principal and told her that I may have to leave a little early because I had a ride coming. She couldn't have been nicer. In the windup, CSJ got to school about 4:45, so I didn't even feel bad about leaving. I went to find New Principal to let her know I was leaving, and I apologized for having to leave early. She told me not to give it another thought, and then thanked me profusely for staying as long as I did. I'm sure part of that is because we stayed today on our own time. There's no money budgeted to pay us for any after school time. Earlier, when I first told her I was going to have to leave when me ride got there, she and I talked about a couple other things, and then she suddenly looked at me and said, "How are you doing? Are you feeling alright?" I was a bit confused, but said, "Yeah, I'm ok, just a bit stressed by the sheer number of babies I'm dealing with." While I was talking, she just kept looking at me, then she said, "Are you sure you're ok, you look wiped out, and your eyes are red." I wonder if she thought I had been crying or something. Truthfully, it's just my contacts irritating me. But, it was kind of touching that she even noticed. I guess that's a woman thing, huh? Jeez, I hope it wasn't because she thought I was on drugs or something! haha!

I assured her it was just the stress, but that I was plugging along. She then asked about how DIBELS was going, and I just happened to have in my hand a copy of my results. I was actually on my way to the office to put it in her mailbox. I'M FINISHED!!!! (All except one little boy who has been out for almost a week.) She was thoroughly impressed. I did admit to having to put on Sesame Street for part of the time I tested, expecting to get a look at the very least. Instead, she said, "You show them that Sesame Street, Girl! These babies need it!" I was floored!!! Hell, that was probably NOT the thing to tell me right now. I'm afraid we're going to end up having Sesame Street time every day until this class size problem is fixed. Still no word from central office, BTW.

CSJ surprised me by showing up with Stud. That was a nice surprise since I didn't think I'd be seeing my baby tonight. I suppose I may have to stop using "CSJ" if he keeps being so nice to me. Things that make you go hmmmm...... Things have been very pleasant between us lately. It's nice not always screaming and fighting with each other. On that note, it's time to change the subject, lest I jinx myself.... ;-)

All in all, open house was a giant waste of my time. I had all of TWO parents come to my room!! I was able to take care of a few housekeeping chores, so at least that's something. I also did a major clean-up this morning to prepare for open house, and that felt great. I finally got all the old reading materials out of my room, and the new materials put away. I cleaned out the coat closet, and cleared off two table. Woo hoo!! The reading coach came in and was impressed. I also got both my carpets back down on the floor, which was quite a task. The big carpet in the front was on the floor in the back when I got to school, so I had to roll it up and drag it to the other side of the room. That wouldn't have been so bad if the room wasn't already filled with nearly 30-something little baby bodies! When I put my other carpet down in the back of the room, I ended up changing its position to make it a better set up for doing calendar and the other things we do back there. It worked out great this afternoon. Luckily, 4 kids were absent today, so I was able to move the table that was sitting in that spot, and I shoved it in a corner for the day.

Let me tell you, having those 4 out made a big difference. Oo, another bad parent story to share! I've had a sweet little girl sitting in my room since the very first day of school. However, her name was never on my list in the computer. Every day I attached a note to my attendance sheet to tell them she needed to be put in the system (along with about 4 other kids.) Well, I come to find out Monday afternoon from Mrs. J. in the office what the deal was. Get this!! She attended pre-k at the Hell-Hole, but then Mom transferred her out to another school for this year. Mrs. J. found her name in the system with the new school's name. So she called Mom, who claimed she never transferred her. Huh? Well, then who the hell did? Mrs. J. told her that if she wanted to continue sending her here, she needed to transfer her back. Mom kept saying it wasn't her that transferred, etc., but then says, "Well, I can't get the paper work until they open the office next week." Hmmm, how do you know when that school opens if you didn't transfer your kid there?! Can you believe how slick she was?! Gee, let me get a whole MONTH of FREE BABYSITTING over at the Hell-Hole, then I'll take my kid out when her real school starts. WTF?! I was fit to be tied!!! So, at least that's one less baby in my room. And, I was actually a little bummed because this little girl was very sweet, smart and well-behaved. Poor thing. I hope her mother's sneaky ways don't rub off on her!

Holy crap, I think this is my longest post ever! And, I didn't even tell you everything I wanted to tell you. If you're still here, thanks for hanging in there! I'll save the rest for tomorrow. You're welcome!

Day 12....I haven't quit yet....

Yeah, today sucked, just like the past two weeks. I am completely overwhelmed with little bodies. We are barely getting through our phonics and phonemic awareness lessons every morning. I spend more time hushing than teaching. I didn't even bother with the name papers today because I need to get this DIBELS crap finished. (I have been writing down the cute/funny answers to share with you, as usual, but, as usual, I forgot the paper at school! I'll try to remember tomorrow, I promise!) This morning they watched one of my favorite tapes while I tried to test. It's one of my favorites because it's quiet. My BFF, the librarian, had given me some videos years ago that she was getting rid of, and I'm so thankful she did. Last year's babies (oohhh, I think I feel tears welling up.... I MISS THEM SO MUCH!) absolutely could NOT get enough of these movies. It's a set of movies based on quality, well-known children's books. The one we used today was their favorite. It was a "movie version" of There's a Nightmare in My Closet (Mercer Mayer), and a movie about a magic carpet, the name of which escapes me right now.

Then, this afternoon, it was a Sesame Street afternoon so I could try and squeeze in a few more babies. Since it was technically math time, we watched one of the number videos. I'm so annoyed that I couldn't enjoy and embrace the way they were enjoying the video. They actually wanted to sing along, and talk back to the characters when they asked questions. But, of course, they couldn't because I WAS TESTING!! Ugh!! I had to keep asking them to keep it down, which really made me sad. Normally, I would encourage that kind of interaction with the video. We will definitely watch that one again when we can all sing along and enjoy it.

Ideally, I would be able to leave the room, even if it's just to sit in the hallway, and test the children in quiet. If I had an actual assitant (and not just a wonderful parent volunteer!) I'd be able to do that. But, I obviously can't leave 37 of them alone in the room while I go out in the hall with one. Ms. H. isn't even with me enough for me to leave her with the kids in the room. Plus, I'm not really comfortable with that, as that's just far too much responsibility (and headache!!) for a volunteer. So, instead, they watch Sesame Street and Chicka Chicka, Boom Boom! Sue me!

I had to call a couple mommies today. One of my little PITAs* decided he would give some other kids the finger. I caught him red-handed. After I called his mom, his behavior just continued to go downhill. He spent a good chunk of time across the hall in Mrs. M.'s room, to ensure I didn't "bust my foot off in his ass!" (Surely one of my favorite Englewood-isms!)

I didn't hear anything from New Principal today about the half-day situation. She was actually out most of the day for a principals' meeting. I saw her for about a second in the hall, but didn't speak to her. Then, at the end of the day, I had to skedaddle, since today was Stud's first full day of school, and I had to pick him up. (In the windup, CSJ called just as I was pulling out the lot to tell me he was in the area, so he would pick him up for me, and meet me at the house. Like I said, he's been nice lately. Weird, huh? But, I digress...)

Thanks to CSJ, I actually was home just a few minutes after 3! I can't even remember the last time that happened. He just brought Stud home for a minute so I could see him, kiss him, hug him, then send him on his way. He stayed at his dad's last night, too. CSJ will probably take him as many nights as he can this week because he didn't see him over the weekend (Stud went to Michigan with a friend, remember?) and Stud will be going to Michigan again this weekend with the same friend. Then, the following weekend is Labor Day weekend, and in keeping with tradition, I'll be taking all my boys to Saugatuck. This year we'll be adding the "new" friend to our group, and I'm really excited, as is Stud Muffin, of course! Anyway, the point is, CSJ is feeling a little gypped, so he's going to take Stud as often as possible during the week.

So, tomorrow night is our open house. Um...yeah...I kind of forgot all about that. We haven't spoken about it since that first week of meetings. I voted to have it during the school day, but obviously I was outvoted. But, I was far from the only one who wanted that time! I HATE having to stay in Englewood past 3:00. It's simply not safe. Anyhoo, I'm not the least bit prepared for this. I didn't have my kids make anything cutesy to hang up, I have nothing to display, my room is still a hot mess, my carpets were taken out last week to be cleaned and haven't been put back yet (mostly because I have freakin' tables where the one used to go!!!), I'm simply NOT ready. But, my main focus tomorrow is going to be to tell the parents that they need to let all their friends/neighbors with kdg. age children know that school started 3 weeks ago, and they need to get them in NOW. They can't wait til after Labor Day, which is the tradition in this neighborhood. I'm going to let them know that half-day kdg. is a very real possibility to relieve the overcrowding, but if we get enough new kdg. students, we will be able to open a second room, and I can babysit ALL DAY. I mean, their kids can learn all day, yeah, that's what I meant... I just hope it makes a difference. But, I've been thinking about this a lot, and I'm starting to think getting the OK for half-day will sort of be a win-win for me. At the very least, I'll only have to deal with half the kids at a time, even though it'll SUCK to still have to deal with 40 sets of parents, do 40 report cards, keep 40 sets of records, etc. Then again, once we go half-day, I guarantee many parents will pull their kids out (like I explained yesterday) and my class will just get that much smaller. OK, I'm not going to stress about it anymore. I'm just going to let it go...

I think I may just embrace the fact that I'm home all alone, and take a nice, relaxing bath. I haven't done THAT in ages. I'm off to light a candle right now....

Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. ~Harold Hulbert

This is definitely one of my FAVORITE quotes (I've shared it before) and it hangs in my room. I've been trying to keep this in the forefront of my mind lately, for obvious reasons!

*Pain In The Ass -- I know, I'm mean. Get over it!

When is this week gonna end!?

Wow, I know I've done a lot of whining the past few days, but I'm sorry, that's just how I feel. These kids are making me want to scream. AND, I'm up to 31 now! I only have 24 seats, so thank God the three boys that are out for medical reasons haven't come back yet. The "extra" kids had to squeeze in at the big table, but it's way too close for comfort. I'm really afraid I'm going to have to get rid of one of my carpets to make room for another table. But, that makes me really sad, because first of all, I love my carpets! We use the one in the front of the room for almost everything, and the one in the back of the room for calendar/math time. Plus, that's where our class library is, so the kids sit/lay on it while they read.

Ms. H., spent some time with us in the morning, but she left after lunch, so I was on my own this afternoon. I'm trying to tell myself that things will be better next week once our preps start. Sheesh, they couldn't be any worse!

Let me tell you a little something about one of the new boys I got today. His mother actually stopped me in the hall Tuesday as we were on our way to lunch. She says, "My son, A., is going to be in your class. He'll be starting tomorrow. Now, tomorrow is his birthday, so I'd like to bring cake and ice cream." So, of course, I have to immediately say, "Oh, no. That's not going to work. If you want to send a little treat, it has to be something that the kids can have during their short 20 minute lunch." She says, "Oh....ok....well....then I'll just bring him on Thursday." WTF?!?!?! It's great to see where her priorities are, huh? Then you wonder why our babies are as screwed up as they are!

Apparently, we're having a pep rally tomorrow. There was a note about it hanging by the time clock this morning, but naturally, I didn't really read it. That's mostly because kdg. isn't usually included in those kinds of things, but I suppose I should have actually read it. At the end of the day, one of the teachers came up and asked me about what she needed to do for the rally, and of course, I had no clue! I checked my mailbox and found a copy of the same note that was hanging on the time clock. It seems that each class is expected to do a 5 minute presentation, complete with a slogan and a sign. I don't even know what the hell that means!! Now, I have to figure out what the hell I'm going to do with these kids, who can't follow a simple direction yet, that will be acceptable to New Principal. Oh, lovely! We're having a staff meeting in the morning about the rally, so hopefully that will answer any questions. However, we had a staff meeting yesterday, so giving up 2 mornings this week is going to suck! It's bad enough we aren't getting preps this week, now we lost 2 of the 5 morning prep times we had. Ugh!

I'm going to keep trying to find, and end, on a positive note, so here's today's. One of my babies (who is just cute as a button!) came to do his assessment with me this afternoon. Before him, I had already tested 4 kids who didn't know a thing. The highest score of that group was a 50 so far. Then, Button Boy comes over, and blows me away! He scored 100%!! I almost feel bad that he's stuck in my room with the rest of the knuckleheads. OK, I know, that's mean. I'm holding out hope that I find a few more shining stars among the group as I continue assessing them. Oh, and did I mention, I was supposed to start DIBELing this week? Yeah, the testing window opened MONDAY! Yes, indeed, that was the FIRST day of school. That's the brilliance of CPS! Holy crap, how did I get to the negative again?! Sorry.....I'll try harder tomorrow....

Did you miss me?

OK, I know I've been gone for a while (which is why I did the "fake post" and threw up a video yesterday!!) but I've been busy. Yeah, I know, I'm always busy, but this week had a little extra sumpin' sumpin'.

(Ok, I can see this post is going to take a while, a customer just walked in, so I'll be right back.)

We've had family in from Italy for the past two weeks, which has added to my already long list of responsibilities these past couple of weeks. I feel really bad that I wasn't able to spend more time with them, but there just wasn't time. My father was able to take some days off work to show them around and do some things, but I couldn't do the same. They will be coming up here to the bar tonight, though, so at least I'll get to see them before they leave on Monday.

I actually wrote some things down the other day at school to share with you. Let's hope I can find the damn scrap of paper I wrote it on in my purse! I had to DIBEL the other kindergarten class (maybe I'll bitch about that in a minute...) so I had a couple of funnies from those babies, as well as my own precious sweethearts. Let me go look in the bottomless pit I call a purse....

The unit we are doing right now for literacy is about neighborhoods. So, the other day, we were talking about maps, and we were looking at a map of the United States. I was surprised that one of the babies actually knew we lived in Illinois. Usually, the babies just know we live in Chicago, but they have no idea what state we live in. We were talking about the states, which are the biggest, which are the smallest, etc. I asked the babies if any of them have ever been to another state, mostly because I knew I would get a few giggles out of their answers. (See how I'm always thinking of you guys?) I was telling them all the states I've been to, and showing them on the map. Then the babies started doing that frantic "my-hand-is-up-and-I'm-waving-it-around-like-crazy-and-I-can't-sit-still-just-call-on-me-already!" dance. I called on Miss T.P., who proceeded to tell me that she went to "White Castle Dells." At first I wasn't sure what the heck she was saying. Then I understood the White Castle part. It wasn't until the third time I asked her to say it that I realized what she was saying and that she was trying to say "Wisconsin Dells." I just burst out laughing, which thankfully didn't upset her, as she just laughed along with me.

As we continued this discussion, I asked the babies again to tell me places their parents have taken them. Mr. D.U. waved his hand around and blurted out"My momma took me to the Aid Office!" Good Lord! The babies are always good for a laugh!

***(1:00PM Sunday afternoon)
Speaking of laughs, one of the babies from the other kindergarten gave me this one while I was testing her. There is a component of the DIBELS test that tests the children's knowledge of letter sounds, and asks them to put these sounds together to form nonsense words. (The component is actually called "nonsense word fluency.") There are a couple of practice items, and I was going over one with a little girl. Actually, I was "cheating" a bit, because I was asking her what sound each letter made, as opposed to just letting her look at them and tell me, which is what they're supposed to do. Anyway, the practice item we were looking at was "lut." I asked, "What sound does l make?" She said, "eeellll." I then fight back a giggle and say, "What about u?" She says, "Me?" Bwah hahaha!!

One more little funny from Mr. D.U. This was the baby who, you may recall, told another student a while back, "Don't eehhhh at my lovely teacher!" Well, I was complaining (really to myself, but out loud) about a movie I had lent another teacher being returned without being rewound. Truthfully, the babies hear me complain about this quite a bit, as it's a HUGE pet peeve of mine! [I have quite an extensive collection of educational videos in my classroom, (Magic School Bus, Between the Lions, the Scholastic DVDs I mentioned recently, Sesame Street, etc.) which other teachers often borrow. All but the Between the Lions were videos I had for my son, then I later purchased the BTL, because it's absolutely one of my favorite shows on PBS. I started bringing the videos, and building this collection, because until pretty recently, we only had 3 prep periods per week at the Hell-Hole, so Fridays afternoons were often "Fun Friday." They would watch a 30 minute educational video while I worked on lesson plans/homework packets/recording grades/project preparations etc. Yeah, I suck, I'll admit it. But, there just wasn't enough time to get everything done during the week, and there was even less time outside of school, between working a 2nd job, raising a son, and going to grad school. So sue me!]

ANYWAY, I was bitching about a video not being rewound, again, and we started talking, again, about how when you borrow something, you should take good care of it, and return it in the same condition it was when you borrow it, blah, blah, blah. My kids know the sermon by now, and often have the discussion all by themselves. It's actually pretty funny. Well, getting back to D.U., he shared with us that "I always grrrr when people touch me stuff." Maybe you had to be there, and see the expression on his face when he "grrrrr"ed. Priceless! Good Lord! That was a looonnnggg way to go for a two-second story, huh? Sorry. But, hey, if you're still reading, that's your own damn fault! ;-)

Well, for a post that took me two days, this is boring as hell, isn't it? Too late to delete in now, since I put so much time into it. haha.

Thanks, JLo!!

My sweet bloggy friend, JLo, over at Almost Famous just did the sweetest thing! After reading this post, she felt compelled to do something for my babies. Today, I received a package in the mail with this in it:How adorable are these?! Monday morning, there are going to be two boys and two girls that are very happy. My dilemma now is deciding which babies to give these to. I have a pretty good idea already, and now I have a three-day weekend to make my final decision. A million thanks to you, JLo!!

The three-day weekend is thanks to a professional development day tomorrow. The kids are off, and we're supposed to attend one long, boring meeting after another. But, Homey don't play dat! (Holy crap, did I really just type that?!) My report cards are finished, which is what tomorrow is really supposed to be for, and I finished all my DIBELS testing today, so I don't feel the least bit guilty about taking a mental health day tomorrow. Ah, who am I kidding? I NEVER feel guilty about taking mental health days. ;-)

I've had 3 babies transfer out in the past week and a half, a total of 4 since we've come back from break. I'm back down to 20 babies. Now, of course, I just jinxed myself by putting it in black and white, but for now, I'll just enjoy it.

JLo wasn't the only one to bless my babies with gifts this week. I'm pretty sure I didn't post about this, but back before the holidays we had our "Principal for the Day" day at the Hell-Hole. It's something CPS does every year (do other schools do it, too?) We actually (finally!) had someone come who followed through on his promise to support our kids, and help us out. This year, our Principal for the Day was the president of Scholastic Books School and Library Group. He actually spent quite a bit of time chatting with me at our meet-and-greet breakfast, then later came to visit my class, and sat in on our read-aloud. He told me more than once to let him know what I needed/wanted for my class, and I figured I'd catch up with him later in the day to talk. Well, he ended up leaving before I had a chance to speak to him.*

A few weeks later, on our Real Men Read Day, who do you think came to our room to read? You got it, Mr. President! My kids loved it! If you aren't familiar with this program, Scholastic send books to the school for our kids (usually a different book for each grade level) then a male volunteer comes to read the book to the kids. The kids each receive a copy of the book that was read. The book Mr. President read to my babies was a book that my kids were familiar with thanks to one of those Scholastic DVDs I mentioned last week. The kids had a blast listening to Mr. President read, and he got a kick out of the babies, since they knew the story. He actually ended up staying for a while and observed/participated in our center time. The babies were thrilled!! And, I gotta say, he was impressed with how knowledgeable my babies are, as well. We were able to chat a bit during centers and I was able to give him an idea of what kinds of things I could use in my classroom.

Flash forward to yesterday (as this post is 10 times longer than it should be already!) I received two big boxes from Scholastic. One box had a collection of books specifically written for African-American children. The other box held the mother load!! There were 11 (11!!) sets of books and CDs. Each CD came with 5 copies of the book. Our listening center just doubled in size! Today, I received another box that held Scholastic's entire Kindergarten Read-Aloud Library. I noticed on the packing slip that I still have one more box coming. From what I can tell, it's Big Books. (Ok, I know my teacher friends just wet their pants, right?) In all, Mr. President sent me approximately $500 in books for my classroom. Can you believe it? I can't!!

*Ok, I'm really surprised I didn't write about this day, cuz I should have shared this story. Like I said, Mr. President left before I could talk to him again. My real plan was to talk to him about a job. After I dropped my kids off at our prep class, I went to find him, and that's when I heard he had to leave early because he had a meeting. I was feeling sorry for myself, and a little pissed at myself, too, for not at least getting his card. As I was walking back to my room, literally with my head down cuz I was pouting like one of my babies, I looked down at the stairs I was on, and there it was...HIS CARD!! Yes, seriously! I still can't believe it. Is that a sign or what?! I immediately emailed him, but never heard back. When he came to read to my class, I told him this story, and even he was taken aback, and agreed that it was a sign. He said he never got the email, but then he then told me I should call him anytime, since his cell phone number is on the card.

So far, I've resisted calling, but maybe if all my bloggy friends put in a good word/positive thought/prayer for me, I may be able to say I'm an employee of Scholastic Books soon!

Holy crap, is anyone still there?? I can't remember the last time a wrote a post this long. I gave myself a headache just rereading this! Since I don't have to work tomorrow (tee hee!) I'm off to watch the episode of The Bachelor I missed on Monday. Nighty night!

DIBELS sentences

OK, I see I didn't remember exactly what A.L. said yesterday. Her exact quote was, "A meant is when your teeth stank, you put a meant in your mouth and it smells good!"

Most of the babies used meant as mint. Another word they used "wrong" was which. Naturally, they used "witch." All except for M.A., my resident genius. Her sentence was, "I don't know which one to choose."

Three different babies said, "A witch is evil." One little darling, T.R., had me laughing because HE said, "I am a witch." We both promptly had a fit of giggles as soon as he said it. He also later said, "I am a woman." Again, giggle fits.

A.L. gave me this gem for woman - "A woman cooks with her husband, and then lays around the house."

Twin Boy AND Twin Girl both heard "mitten" when I said meant. Twin Girl's sentence was - "A meant is like a glub." Poor baby, I laughed right in her face! Glub!!! Love it!!

My little pervert in the making, J.L., gave me, "You can look at a woman." (Ok, I'm kidding about the pervert part, but he's definitely gonna be a man!!)

I'd love to know what's going on at A.M.'s house. She told me, "You can hang your dog on the fence." I'm pretty sure she meant tie the leash to the fence, but that wouldn't have been as funny!

Back to A.L.'s cute statements. "A coach can make kids do stuff." (Suz, is that true!?)

One of the other absolutely RIDICULOUS words in this test is felt. (Well, maybe they're only ridiculous words for my students. I'm not sure.) You might remember that last time I wrote about it, most of the kids used this as the past-past tense (?) for "fell," as in, "I felt down." It was the same this time. However, A.M. did tell me, "I felt real bad." Well, gee, maybe it's cuz you hung your dog on the fence!! tee hee! One other baby did give me, "I felt bad." But, he obviously hadn't maimed an animal, so he didn't feel REAL bad. :)

Finally, one of my favorite little boys, J.W. almost made me sad when he gave me this one - "Nobody will play with me." I had to remind myself that at least he used the word properly, and earned himself 5 points. But, I didn't like hearing it from him. He told me today that his little sister got all the siblings in trouble and "now we're all on punishment." Jeez, I just hope that means no T.V. I few of the others immediately started chiming in and telling me how they get "whooped" with extension cords. Yikes! OK, I'm stopping this tangent in it's tracks!

Ugh, I'm so pissed at myself...

...I left a sheet at paper at school that had a bunch of notes for tonight's post. I started the Middle of the Year (MOY) DIBELS today. We were asked to give all the babies the Word Use Fluency (WUF) test today. You may recall this is the stupid component where I give the kids a word and then they use it in a sentence. Ugh! It's horrible! We've been practicing and practicing this concept, and I thought they had it, but then I gave the test. Yikes! Some of my most verbal/vocal babies totally blew it! The biggest problem is that some of these words are just so completely inappropriate for 5 year olds! One of the words is meant. All but one baby used it as mint. The funniest sentence for this word was given to me by my newest baby, Miss A.L. She, like many of the babies, wanted to define each word I gave, rather than use it in a sentence. Most of the sentences I wrote down today to share with you are from her. Anyway, this is what I got for meant: A meant /mint/ means when your teeth stank, you eat a meant and they smell better. How cute is she?!

I'm gonna really try to remember the paper tomorrow so I can share the rest of the sentences with you. Not so much cuz you care (cuz I know most of you don't give a rat's ass!) but for the simple reason that I actually took the time to write them all down!

OK, off to watch The Bachelor. Yes, I know I'm a loser, but I can't help it. Hey, it's my only escape all week, leave me alone!! And, more than likely, the minute I sit on the couch, I'm gonna pass out anyway, and I'll have to wait til Sunday to watch it online.

Oh, one last thing. I added a weather widget over there in the corner for all to enjoy. Especially all my bloggy friends who are in California and Florida, and any other place that's warm right now. We have a blizzard warning in effect right now. We're supposed to get snow Monday, Wednesday and Friday, then below zero temperatures on Tuesday and Thursday. Not windchills below zero, actual temperatures below zero! At least that means that I probably will have lots of babies out this week. They don't usually come to school when we get a lot of snow or really cold weather. Maybe I'll have an easy week. We'll see...

This was one of the emails from my daddy today. It cracked me up!

(I hope this little video doesn't offend any of you, as that's not my intention.)

A little DIBELS giggle from today:

The picture choices were window, raisins, bell and something I can't remember.

Me: Which picture starts with /w/?
Glasses: Waisins! (Of course, this little darling has a bit of a speech impediment, and always says it that way!)

Memorable Monday

I mentioned Thursday that I had a rough morning with three boys, one who was punching people all morning. This is J.F., who I think I'll call Twin Boy. (He and his twin sister are both in my class.) I just went back and reread all the posts from this school year so far, and I see I haven't written about Twin Boy yet, so here goes...

Twin Boy has had many "issues" since school started, the most troublesome one being his aggression. The very first day of school, he hit me at least three times. And, for seemingly no real reason. The first time, I simply asked him to find his name tag. He kind of grunted, then punched me. WTF?! It happened a few more times, like when I asked him to line up, and when I told him he had to wait his turn for the bathroom. Naturally, I spoke to Mom immediately about this. I had one of his older brothers a few years ago, so I'm familiar with the family. I believe there are about 9 kids in the family (all with J names!) and the twins are the babies. I've been really struggling to figure out how many of these issues are simply due to being babied for the past 5 years.

Over the next few days, Twin Boy hit me several more times, as well as many of my babies. I spoke to Mom every morning about it. Mom strikes me as being a bit "slow," (I promise I'm not trying to be funny) which I noticed several years ago when the brother was in my room. The father of this brood is about 70 years old, Mom is probably younger than me, so it's an interesting coupling, to say the least. I wish I knew the back story there.

The following Monday, Twin Boy had an explosive episode in which he beat the living crap out of his sister. He was kicking and punching with both hands and both feet. I literally lifted him up off her, and then removed him from the room. I went straight to the office and called home, hoping someone would be able to come get him. Dad answered, I explained what happened, and filled him in on what has been going on for the past week. He immediately started telling me about how Mom babies Twin Boy, and doesn't discipline him like she should. He told me he was from Nigeria, and he believed in spanking his children, but Mom doesn't do it like she should. Then he says, "I'm giving you permission right now to spank J anytime he needs it!" I almost laughed. Trust me, he is FAR from the first parent who has told me the exact same thing. Not that I haven't thought about smacking a few of the babies on the bottom over the years, but I would NEVER do it. Besides, I know that if I did, the very parent who gave me permission to do it would be suing me faster than I could blink an eye!!

Anyway, Dad said Mom wasn't around to come get him, but he wanted to speak to Twin Boy. I don't know what he said, and Twin Boy didn't utter a word into the phone. The next day, he had a MUCH better day. Wednesday, again, a fairly good day. Thursday morning, Dad brought the twins to school, and asked how Twin Boy has been doing since Monday. I happily told him that the past two days were much better. He says, "Ah, that's good. I've been whooping him in the morning before school." Jeez Louise!! NOT what I wanted to hear. Hopefully, after a "good report" that morning, Dad stopped with the morning beatings.

So, over the past four weeks, Twin Boy has had some bad days, even more really awful days, and a couple of good days. Thursday, obviously, was one of those awful days. When I called home, Dad said he would send Mom to come get him. That was at 11:15. Nobody ever showed up. Around 12:30, I knew I was reaching the end of my rope with him, so I asked Ms. W. if he could sit in her room for a while, which gave me the respite I needed, especially because I was still dealing with the other two boys. (This may be a good time to remind everyone that I have NO ASSISTANT again this year. Ugh!) I was hoping to talk to Mom and/or Dad the next morning, but neither of the twins came to school that day. Truth be told, I wasn't that upset about Twin Boy being out, but I missed Twin Girl. She has her own "issues," (for another post!) but she's generally a very sweet little girl. I guess Dad decided to keep them home after what happened the day before. I just hope it wasn't a day filled with spankings....

Today, Twin Boy started out a little rough. Before lunch, he punched two boys. Then, during rest time, he absolutely would not be still or quiet, which is annoying enough, but I was trying to DIBLE some of the kids. Finally, I had him come sit on the floor next to me, and warned him that he needed to be absolutely quiet because I was testing at my desk. Believe it or not, he was actually pretty good. Granted, it was only for about 10 minutes, but still, not bad! After I finished the last test, I had Twin Boy come stand next to me and have a little chat. We decided that he could be quiet when he tried, since he just did it, and that maybe he could try to be really quiet for the remainder of rest time. We talked about why he needed to be still and quiet, and how it was hard for his friends to rest when he was disturbing them, etc. I wasn't really sure how much of what I was saying was sinking in, but I hoped for the best. I made sure we only had a couple minutes more of rest time so that he could be successful at his first attempt. He was!

After going to the bathroom, we started our Math Centers. Usually, there is a LOT of fighting during centers because Twin Boy doesn't particularly like to share all the time. This is when he normally does most of his hitting. Today, he chose the center he wanted, and actually played nicely for a quite a while. The fact that I was sitting next to his center may have helped, but I was still impressed with him. Even better, the two boys he was playing with noticed how nicely he was playing, and said so! It was great!! This was done with absolutely no prodding from me. It came directly from the babies, which just made me beam with pride.

We continued our afternoon without any problems, and before I knew it, it was time to go home. I was calling tables to go to the coatroom, and suddenly one of the boys who had been playing with Twin Boy earlier again made mention of what a good afternoon he was having, and told me he wanted to give him a high five! I almost fell off my chair. It was one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. Then, naturally, ALL the babies wanted to give him a high five. Too cute! So what if we were going to be late for dismissal today, Twin Boy needed to get his props!! What a great way to end the day. Especially a Monday! Maybe it's a sign of what the rest of the week will bring...

That's when it occurred to me that I needed to thank all of my longtime readers/friends who must have been praying for me all summer. I know we all were hoping I would find myself at a new school this year, but I'm just as happy to be having such a great year so far, even if I am still at the Hell-Hole. (Good Lord, I hope I didn't just jinx myself!!) I think I'm really going to enjoy the 2008-2009 school year :) Just to be safe, feel free to continue those prayers ;-)

Bits and Pieces...

As we were walking out of lunch, I was my usual cranky self because we have about 30 seconds to line up, then walk up 4 flights of stairs to get to gym, and the babies all want to hug me cuz it's been 10 minutes since they've seen me (I love them!!) but they all have "lunch hands," so I'm pulling them off me like they have the plague, all while crabbing at them to "get in line, please!" As we were speed walking toward the stairs, D.U., who is this week's boys' line leader, looks at me with the big, goofy smile, and says, "I LOVE SCHOOL!" I haven't a clue what brought that on, but it instantly put my crankiness to an end. I smiled right back and told him, "So do I!"

As we were walking up the stairs, my buddy D.B. was having a little trouble staying in line while we were on the stairs. He was in line near E.B., who is the little boy who was at the therapeutic school last year. They seemed to form this instant bond, which I'm guessing is because E.B. feels comfortable around D.B. since he's probably a lot like the kids at his old school. So, D.B. was having trouble staying in line and would randomly move in and out of the line, in whatever spot he felt like. As we were going around a corner, I heard E.B. say to D.B., "Go ahead, Little Man!" and when I looked, he had stopped and was bending forward, sweeping his arm in front of him, letting D.B. step in line in front of him. My heart just melted!!

When we reached the 4th floor, I was leaving my babies in the hands of Mr. M., the gym teacher, and of course they all had to turn around and say good-bye to me. E.B. yelled, "Bye, Mrs. L.!" then blew me a kiss! So sweet!

I had to test a few more babies from the other kindergarten today. They are all her newest students, which is why they weren't in the computer last week when I did the other testing. Anyway, here are a couple of cute sentences from the test:
happy - Happy mean when you so excited! (that's not a typo, that's how it was said)
rained - When it rain, it get real dark!
happy - Happy is when you smile real big and you get so excited.

Back to lunch, the kids were served cold lunch today, which means peanut butter sandwiches. Not the kind you're thinking about, made with actual bread, but these pre-made little things made with graham crackers, with some artificial pb&j smeared in between them. Don't get me wrong, I love them! They're more like a snack or treat than a lunch. Some of my kids didn't know what to make of them. Eventually I got them all to at least take a bite, which then was followed by happy eating. They also had oranges, which I actually peeled for some of them today. I don't usually do that, because then I'd be there for 20 minutes peeling oranges. I show them all the first week of school how to use their spork to break the skin, and how to peel it themselves. But, today I was worried that some of them wouldn't eat anything for lunch, since all they got was the peanut butter bar and the orange. That's it. Oh, and milk. Not a great lunch, by any means. Although, I tried to sell my babies on the idea that it was a "fun lunch" today, all treats! Good thing they're only 5!

The reason for the cold lunch is that they are doing some work in the lunchroom. I'm as shocked as you are! There was some damage to the walls, and there was peeling paint and plaster. They broke through most of the walls on Friday afternoon, right down to the bricks, and when I came in today, I saw that they had put up some kind of paneling over the walls. It actually looks really nice. And, it will be sooo much cleaner and healthier for the kids. Unless, of course, they enjoy a little plaster dust in their ravioli!

One last little funny. One of my babies fell asleep at quiet time, and kept right on sleeping as we did our calendar and set up our math centers. I was going to wake her, but I figured that once the kids starting playing with the unifix cubes on her table, they would wake her up. Well, not so much! She slept and she slept. About 15 minutes into centers I looked over and commented to the other girls at the table, "Wow, E. is still sleeping?" and Little Miss V. said, "I wish I knew what she was dreaming about! Maybe it's The Little Mermaid." Naturally, it's so much cuter when you actually see the facial expressions that go with the words. They are just so precious!

OK, I need to get your opinion on something. I've always identified my babies by only their initials, obviously to retain their anonymity. I don't know about you, but I'm having a lot of trouble keeping track of them as I write out their little stories. Do you think it would be wrong to use their first names? Only first names, not last. And, I've never identified my school, so I think their identities would still be safe. What do you think? I think it'll help me when I write, and it'll help you keep track of the babies I write about. Please leave me a comment and let me know if you think that's crossing an ethical line. Thanks!!

Youth is a perpetual intoxication; it is a fever of the mind. ---François Duc de la Rochefoucauld

Thanks, Former UN!

I miss my former upstairs neighbor very much, but luckily for me, she still checks in here once in a while. You must (or as the Big Cheese would say, muss) go to yesterday's post and read her comment. She made me laugh out loud, as usual! I miss you, Former UN!! BTW, I'm so happy to see you are no longer unemployed. Please fill me in via email!

So, as I was driving here to the bar this afternoon, I saw that the crack in my windshield has already started to spread. Oh, joy! Big Cheese better be ready to endure my wrath on Monday morning! Like I said, he was already gone Thursday when it happened, but I saw him Friday morning in the parking lot, and told him what happened. I asked him what the Board was going to do about it, and his answer was, "I have no idea." Shocking, right? So I told him, "You need to find out, because not ONE cent is coming out of MY pocket to fix this, and it WILL be fixed." He pretty much hid from me the rest of the day, which is even funnier because his office is across from my room. Dork! [On a side note, I called the central office before I called the police on Thursday, and after being on hold a total of 20 minutes, and being transferred no less than three times, I was basically told "Tough luck." They are not responsible for the actions of the students. If my car had been damaged by CPS property, they would fix it. I reassured them my car was parked on CPS property, but they said that's not enough. So, maybe if those little shits had thrown, say, a desk from their classroom at my windshield, THEN the board would pay for it to be replaced. See how that works? Good, now explain it to me!!]

My dad did call a friend of his in the business to get me an estimate, and it could be worse, I suppose. His friend said he would fix it for me at cost, which would be about $275. But, when I mentioned that I was going to try and get school to pay for it, he said they'd have to pay full price, which made me laugh a little. A couple of women at work asked me at the end of the day what Big Cheese told me about it, and I told them "nothing." They were in agreement with me about how I shouldn't have to pay anything. They think Big Cheese should figure something out, and of course I agreed. One said that maybe he would pay for it himself. Ha! Or, that maybe he would offer to split it with me. I told them, "I don't care if y'all take up a collection for me, I'm not paying for this!" (sometimes my Englewood comes out :) )

The woman who said that is actually our security guard (and I use that term VERY loosely!) and she feels really bad, since she's the one who eventually shagged the kids out of the lot. But, she can't be everywhere at once, so I don't hold her the least bit responsible. In the morning, her post is the front of the school, not the back where the lot is. We obviously need more than one person doing security. And, no offense to Mrs. T., but someone else who isn't a middle-aged, slightly overweight woman in her sixties! She's said herself, a million times, "I ain't chasin' after no kids. Let 'em run!" God forbid a fight breaks out on the third floor, cuz she ain't goin'! I know it sounds like I'm picking on Mrs. T., but I'm really not. I really love her as a person. As a security guard, not so much. Unless a security guard is supposed to sit and do word searches all day. Then it would be my bad!

On a different subject, I finally took the plunge and assigned my babies their numbers yesterday. I tried to hold off because I figured I'd be getting a few more kids, but hell, it's three weeks in to the school year. Maybe this is it? Anyway, some of them already remember their number, which is huge for me! I use their numbers for everything!! First and foremost, it makes putting their papers and things in alphabetical order without any effort, because I just do in numerical order. Easy peasy! I have them write their numbers on everything, as well, because it helps me identify who the things belong to a lot easier. Most can write one or two digits, even if they can't write their name yet. We use our numbers for lining up, picking centers, raffles, jobs, you name it. I keep a can with numbered craft sticks in it, with the number down in the can, so I can't see it. Then I can randomly draw numbers for jobs or whatever. Then, that stick goes in the used can, so everyone gets a turn, before switching cans and starting over. I love that I can remove myself from the process completely in their eyes ("I didn't pick him, the sticks did.") even though sometimes, I will say a number that is different from what is on the stick. Yes, I know I'm a cheater, but sometimes I need a specific child for something. Naturally, because I assigned numbers, I will be getting at least one new student next week. Oh, well...

Oh, another funny/cute thing I wanted to share from my DIBELing last week. One of the boys from the other room was with me, and I could see in a matter of moments that this little one was very bright. The first page of pictures for the phoneme test has a tomato, a cub (that is a freakin' bear up in tree!) a plate (even though everyone else would call it a dish!) and a picture of a criminal in an old-fashioned black and white striped prison suit, complete with the hat, but we tell the kids it's "jail." (I can't tell you how many of them, upon being told "this picture is jail," say, "Oh, my daddy/uncle/mommy is in jail." So, so sad...) Anyway, as I was trying to give this boy the test, he wanted to just keep talking to me about the pictures, which would have been great, if I wasn't trying to administer this ridiculous test which is TIMED! So, everytime he tried to tell me something, I had to cut him off. I felt terrible. Well, the last of the 4 questions for each page requires the child to tell you what sound a certain picture begins with. For this page, the last question is, "What sound does plate start with?" He correctly told me "/p/", but then points to the picture and says "Cymbal starts with /s/" At first I was thinking "WTF?" but then I looked at the stupid drawing of the plate, and it does indeed look like a cymbal. It's even almost gold in color. What a little smarty pants!

I wish I didn't have this pounding migraine, which is now on Day 7, because the bar is empty, and I have lots of time to bore you with Hell-Hole stories, but I really need to stop looking at this computer screen because it isn't helping my head. Time for some caffeine, I think. Have a great weekend everyone!

In the first place God made idiots; that was for practice; then he made school boards. ---Mark Twain

Oo, one last thing. (Man, do I have ADD or what?) Last week, I added a ticker to this blog to count down the school year. It's at the bottom, though, so I bet none of you have even noticed it. I'm working on fitting it in somewhere else, but for now, if you're the least bit curious, scroll allllll the way down to the bottom. :)

More DIBELS fun...

Today I started testing the babies from the other kindergarten. (There was an "issue" with the testing done by the teacher. Not worth going into here.) Naturally, her babies cracked me up just as much as mine do, especially because I don't really know her babies. Here are a couple of highlights of their funny answers:

Given word - ones
"Ones is a number!"
Given word - happy
"Happy is when you smile really big!"
Given word - rags
"That's what you use to wash your face!" (Sadly, I couldn't give any points for that because she didn't actually say the word "rags" in her sentence. Stupid test!!)

I was giving one of the little boys the part of the test where he had to answer questions about the phonemes (sounds) in the words. I asked, "What sound does insect start with?" He looked at the picture, thought deeply for a moment, and said, "Bzzzzzz" I almost lost it. How cute is that?

Thanks to my darling brother, who brought me coffee at about 7:00 tonight while I was working at the bar, I'm still wide awake, despite the fact that it's midnight. As much as I'd love to write about my own babies today, I know I should be trying to get to bed, especially because I have to be up in 6 hours. I'll be back!

Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression. ---Dr. Haim Ginott

I heart DIBELS - NOT!!!

I have so many things I plan to share from the babies' crazy DIBELS tests, but for now let me just give you this. If you aren't familiar with DIBLES, read this post from last year. One of the words the babies are asked to use in a sentence is makes. Every single one of them that gave an answer said, "When you mix stuff!" Somehow, they all heard mix instead of makes. Weird, huh? J.W. gave me this for ago (yeah, don't even get me started about that word being part of this stupid test!!) "A goat hit people with its head." It really pisses me off that I couldn't give him any points for that!! That was a great sentence, wasn't it? Especially for a 5 year old.