2013 Day Ten

This is all I want to do right now.  I'm SO tired.  Yesterday's Day from Hell really wiped me out.  Then today was another busy one.

For the very first time, I did the reading during our church service today.  Last Monday, at Bible study (one of the "new" things going on around here...) the pastor asked me if I'd ever be interested in doing it.  He said he usually gives people plenty of notice (my first question!), and I said, "Sure!"  Well, imagine my surprise when he called me on Friday, and asked if I'd do the reading today.  I spent the rest of the afternoon preparing.  I printed out the passage, complete with the phonetic pronunciations of certain words, to make sure I didn't screw it up.  I think it went pretty well. =)

Then, after church, I went to hang out with some friends from grad school.  One of my girlfriends moved, and so we got together to see her new house, and do a little shopping.  Well, the rest of them shopped, since I have zero interest in purses, makeup and/or jewelry!  (My girlfriend had a few "demonstrators" there to show off their wares.)  It was a really nice afternoon, and it was great to see my friends who I haven't seen in FAR too long.

I've been fighting sleep since about 5:30 this afternoon, but I'm about to give in now. Good night.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.......

Just in case any of you have forgotten what a dork I am...

...let me remind you. I was just sitting here watching Rachel Ray, and she was making a yummy pasta dish at the end of her show. As the show was ending, and she was dishing up the pasta, my mouth was watering as I sat here thinking about how good it looked, and how I'd love to have a big bite of it. Suddenly, I swear I could SMELL it, and my mouth watered even more. It seriously took me a few minutes to realize that what I was actually smelling was the dish I put in the crock pot earlier down in the basement. DORK!!!! But, man, does my house smell GOOD right now!!!

Sorry, Suz, we'll just have to agree to disagree about this. That's one of the things I love MOST about using crock pots. Your whole house smells yummy all day!! I can't wait to eat later. My graduate school girls are coming over for dinner tonight. Yay!

I'm a big loser...

...a big, fat, hairy, stinkin' LOSER!!!!

I dropped my program tonight. I dropped out of school. I quit. I quit like a big giant LOSER!! I am simultaneously feeling relief and disgust. Relief that I won't be killing myself doing the mountains of work for this program. Relief that I won't be adding more stress on top of the stress that I've been feeling at school since New Principal took over. Relief that I won't have to figure out how to pay for this program. Disgust at myself for giving in and giving up. I've NEVER quit anything in my life. I'm so disappointed in myself, even though I know it's the best thing right now. Ugh! I don't like being a quitter! (Hell, it took me over 12 years to 'quit' my marriage after I threw CSJ out of my house!)

Part of the reason I rushed into signing up for this program is that the tuition was supposed to rise by $2,000 November 1st. Well, now they've locked in the current tuition rate until the 1st of the year. That's two more start dates from now, so I can still consider starting again before the new year.

Another thing I've been thinking about (a lot!) this week is that if I'm going to put the time (and money!!) into another masters program, why the hell am I doing it for something I don't even want to do? Why aren't I doing it for something I DO want - my early childhood certificate!! I've spent a couple of hours tonight (that I would have spent doing work for the class I just dropped!) researching several universities and their early childhood programs. I actually found some good information. My alma mater has a program available that is just for certification, as opposed to completing another masters degree. It may be exactly what I'm looking for, since it's geared toward those who already have a teaching degree and have taught for some time. Oh, and I also stumbled across another certificate they offer for Online Teaching. Yes, seriously. It's only 4 classes! I'm seriously thinking about it. I have a friend who teaches online classes and it's great. You literally work from home. How do you beat that?!

My friend that started with me (although she was doing a different program - Curriculum & Instruction with an ESL endorsement) also dropped tonight. She was really overwhelmed, as well. But, she has FOUR children and a husband who also place demands on her. They are Greek, and her husband is the priest at one of the big Greek orthodox churches here, which means she also has many responsibilities for the church. She has hardly slept since we started these classes a week ago, and one morning this week, on the way to work, she fell asleep at the wheel. She ended up rolling into the car in front of her. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but it was certainly a wake-up call for her. She decided she needed to put this off for a while. So, really, I just dropped out so she wouldn't feel bad about dropping. Aren't I just the most supportive friend ever?

Actually, she and I were both thinking the same thing about why aren't we at least working toward something we WANT and she's open to hearing about what I find out about early childhood programs. If you've been reading here for any length of time, you know that my ultimate goal is to open my own preschool/daycare center. When we were talking this afternoon, trying to make each other feel less like a loser for quitting, she said, "Hey, I know! Let's BOTH do the early childhood thing, then we can open a place together!" Great minds think alike!

Another factor that contributed to my decision to drop is that I just found out, almost accidentally, that the after school program that I've been working for for years was dropped as one of our programs this year. WTF?! When the hell was someone going to tell ME!? This is a HUGE blow to my financial situation, and was the biggest factor in my decision to drop my program.

In the whole scheme of things, I really didn't have to do much for this after school program. I was the site coordinator, so I didn't have any children to teach. I simply supervised, and took care of all the paperwork (student files, assessments, sign-in sheets, employee files, payroll, etc.) Realistically, I usually only spent one afternoon on that stuff, which left me the rest of the month to do whatever I wanted. I had to be there from 3-5 while the program was in session. I seriously figured that would be the time I would work on my classwork for this new masters program. Yeah, well, not so much now, huh?

I'm seriously nervous about losing the salary from this job. The were very generous with me, and the money I made during those few months each year covered nearly all of my share of Stud's tuition. There is no way I can lose the money for his tuition, and then ADD nearly the same amount for my tuition. It would be like losing $10,000 this year. OK, I'm starting to feel better about dropping now. Even if I do another program, I will be taking out a loan, as opposed to having the payroll deductions I would have had for this program.

Yeah, I'm definitely feeling better about this decision. If any of you have some soothing words for me, please, by all means, share them! Or, you can just call me a big loser. I've got it coming.

I'll be back tomorrow to update about school (you know, the actual purpose of this blog!!) and Parent Teacher conferences tonight (for Stud). I'm exhausted, both physically AND mentally! Night, night!

A few quickies

Did you miss out on your daily dose of tears? Well, then check this out. They'll be happy tears, I promise!

One of my little darlings, JC, has a fairly severe stuttering issue. He really struggles to get out his words. Sometimes it's just painful to witness. He gets these little "hiccups" or "hics," I guess, as well as doing these gasp-like breaths. It's so hard to watch him struggle. But, then sometimes, he has a string of words just flow out of his mouth.

Anyway, while we were standing in the hall this afternoon, taking our bathroom break, he stepped out of line, came over to me and says:

JC: I had a dream about us last night! (This sentence literally took about 45 seconds to get out.)
Me: You did? What was it about?
JC: We were in the Land of Milk and Cookies! (This was accompanied by a HUGE smile!)
Me: Really? That sounds cool! What were we doing?
JC: We were exploring!

Too cute! Later, when it was gym time, I had to take the kids myself because Ms. H. didn't come today. This is the first time so far this year that I've had to make the hike up to the 4th floor. It nearly killed me! Anyway, there was still a class in the gym when we got there, and they were a bit noisy, to say the least. Of course, MY babies started to complain about the noise (hmm, where would they get THAT from?!) and some covered their ears. One of the boys, CS, says, "It's too noisy!! All this noise is making my brain bleed!" I was cracking up! I repeated what he said, only to find out I heard him wrong. He repeated what he actually said, "All this noise is making my brain beat! You know 'beat, beat, beat'!" This was accompanied by some helpful hand gestures near his head. Either way, it was funny.

OK, that's all I have the strength for tonight. I know I've been slacking, but I'm still fighting this nasty bug. Plus, I started my new grad school program over the weekend, and I'm already thinking of dropping out. :( How can I already be overwhelmed, when the class didn't officially start until yesterday?!

Now that wasn't so bad...

...for a Monday! Today was almost pleasant even! Again, I had 5 kids out, leaving me with 20 little darlings. My good buddy, TN, actually fell asleep at rest time, which gave me about 45 minutes of peace. It helped that the other PITA, AM, was out today. Last Friday, TN was out, so I only had to deal with AM. It was really nice of them to trade off like that, wasn't it?

It just occurred to me that I haven't really posted about TN, have I? I think last week was the first time I mentioned him. Because I keep such long and detailed anecdotal records about him, I think I mistakenly thought I had been sharing all these things with you guys. Obviously, I haven't, but I'll have to share the details another day. I just don't have the energy tonight. Let me just reiterate, he makes last year's Twin Boy look like an angel!!

The reason I'm drained tonight is because I had to make an unexpected trip downtown this afternoon after school. I had been told that I could fax an unofficial copy of my transcripts to my new school, then send them the official (sealed) copy later through the mail. Well, for the hell of it, I called the university this afternoon from school to check on how that worked, and to let them know I'd be faxing my transcripts from school. The lovely woman I spoke to informed me that, yes, I can fax first, then mail the others, however the official transcripts had to be there TODAY by midnight. WTF?!?! Thank GOD I called this afternoon, or I would have really screwed the whole thing up. (I would have had to wait 5 weeks for the next session to start, which wouldn't be so bad, except that Nov. 1 tuition goes up by $2,000, and I certainly couldn't let THAT happen!!)

My only option was to drive the official transcripts to their office downtown. Oh, joy. Getting there wasn't so bad. I was able to get downtown in about 15 minutes from school, but then I drove around for nearly half an hour just to find somewhere to park. If you're at all interested in the latest parking meter fiasco here in ChiTown, go here. I finally found a metered spot, put my $3.50 in the machine (for the first hour!!) and started hauling ass to the building, 3 blocks away. I was trying to hurry because I was hoping to beat the rush hour traffic. Yeah...not so much... I took me about an hour to get home.

The good news is that I was in and out of the office in less than 10 minutes. The bad news is I was supposed to bring a copy of my teaching certificate with me. Crap!! The woman I talked to never told me that! Luckily, the man I spoke to in the office told me I could email a copy to them. But, of course, it had to get there BEFORE MIDNIGHT! I was so irritated be the time I got home, I just wanted to lie down. Unfortunately, I had to get right online and send in the certificate, as well as the payment agreement. After a very frustrating half hour of not being able to figure out how the freak to send a copy of my damn certificate, Stud finally came and showed my how to take a screen shot of the certificate, and then attach it to an email. I just hope they get everything in time. The one nice thing about email is that you have an automatic "receipt" of sending things in your sent file.

OK, I've finished my bitching for the night. Dancing with the Stars is starting, so I need to go!

There's no turning back now...

I literally just hit "submit" on my online applications for....wait for it....wait for it....

another masters program!!!

Yes, I DO know I'm out of my mind. Glad you all agree. I will be starting a masters program next week in Educational Leadership. This will allow me to obtain my Type 75 certificate, which is basically an administrative certificate. Clippy Mat made me laugh with a comment she made on yesterday's post about how I should be principal. Well, when I'm finished with this, I can be!

However, that is NOT anything that I'm interested in, at least not at this moment. I have absolutely NO desire to be an administrator. I'm really hoping this will help me move out of the classroom eventually, perhaps through obtaining some sort of training/consulting position. In the meantime, it will help me change lanes (which = raise) on our pay schedule.

Brace yourself for a possible increase in the crabby-ness and bitching done here. Wait, is that even POSSIBLE?! tee hee!

whoosssshhhhh.....

That's the sound of the wind being let out of my sails....

Turns out I was sadly mistaken regarding my early childhood status. I feel like a moron. All this time, I've assumed that I needed an early childhood endorsement, when what I needed was an early childhood certificate. Two completely different animals, unfortunately for me. I actually called down to Springfield this morning and got a real person on the phone. She very sweetly explained to me that I needed a certificate, not an endorsement, and that I should talk to someone in the alternate certification department. I left a message for "Phyllis," but I never heard back from her.

Normally, I would have to take a whole 'program' of classes, then pass the state board test to get my certificate. I'm hoping I can just take a handful of classes, then take the test. I actually am going to ask if I can JUST take the test. I'm fairly confident that I can pass it. Even if I don't, I'll know what to expect the next time I take it. I don't know what it costs to take the test, but I think it's probably around $50-75, which isn't horrible. These are all questions Phyllis should be able to answer for me, if I ever get in touch with her. I'm still not giving up on trying to get a waiver somehow, though, so I can at least move to preschool while I pursue this certificate.

Even if it doesn't work out for this year, I may be able to get this all finished by next school year. I guess this was the kick in the pants I needed to finally get my early childhood certificate taken care of. New Principal and I pulled up at the same time this morning, and we were talking about this situation, and she asked me why I never got this certificate if preschool is where I really want to be. Good question, right?

Well, I explained to her that I already started pursuing another masters degree, and I couldn't do two programs at the same time, along with working 3 jobs and raising a child, so I had to put the EC certificate on the back burner. The first masters program I started, a million years ago, was actually Early Childhood Special Ed, which would have given me the certificate, along with the masters. Now I really wish I had found a way to finish it. This was back when CSJ and I first separated, and I was a bit overwhelmed with being a newly single parent, in a house we just bought, that I couldn't afford alone, plus Stud was just a baby then. My main focus was keeping a roof over our heads and food on the table.

But, our lives are much different now. It seems like a good time to do this. Well, except for having to pay tuition, that is. This is the biggest obstacle for me right now. I just finished paying off my first masters degree! Stud's tuition is as much as a mortgage payment, and now I have a new car to pay for. Egads! But, I'm just going to have to take out a loan or something. Actually, I wish I had done that for the masters I already have, instead of using my damn credit card. (But, I DID get a buttload of points!) I could have applied for a loan forgiveness program (I have no idea if this is just an Illinois thing) which would have reimbursed me for $5,000 of my tuition. I'm going to look into doing that this time. I certainly can't take on a 4th job! ;-)