Seriously!?!

Those of you who've been around a while know that I am NOT particularly thrilled with this heat wave we seem to be having. It's December-freakin'-third. Why is it 71!? IN CHICAGO!?! Ugh :(

A cutie, a hottie and some goodies...

The Cutie

My brother and I bought this ridiculous headband while we were shopping for Monkey's party. The picture is blurry so you may not be able to see that the flames of the candles spell out "Happy Birthday."

The Hottie

This is what my car said last night when we came out of the restaurant at 7 pm. We had to go out for dinner because the house was just too hot. My dad's friend was able to repair the air, thank God, but it had been out so long, it took hours to cool down the house. He had to replace the blower motor. I'm just glad it wasn't something bigger, or more expensive, or something that would have taken days to fix. Now that I'm unemployed, any hit to the pocketbook hurts, but I really had no choice. It HAD to be fixed!

It occurred to me last night that the air must have gone out either Saturday night or early Sunday. I had run home to change after spending the morning setting up for the party, and the house felt warm. I just chalked it up to the fact that I had been running around like a chicken with its head cut off all morning. CSJ said the thermostat said 83 when he got home, but he just thought I had turned the thermostat up in an attempt to be frugal.

Anyhoo, it works now!!

Some Goodies

My Tastefully Simple goodies arrived yesterday!! Look at the size of that box!

The first little peek inside...

I started to unpack the box one section at a time...

It almost didn't all fit on my counter! Then I grouped it according to how it was ordered.

This was my half-priced item. It's called The Perfect 10 Collection. (Normally$79.99, I paid $40)

It consists of 1) Absolutely Almond Pound Cake Mix 2) Artichoke & Spinach Warm Dip Mix 3) Bountiful Beer Bread Mix Value Pack (3-pack) 4) Garlic Garlic 5) Key Lime Cheese Ball Mix 6) Nana's Apple Cake Mix 7) Onion Onion 8) Perfect Parmesan Biscuit Mix 9) Seasoned Salt 10) Spinach & Herb Dip Mix

This was my FREE Hostess Gift.

It's called Returning Favorites, and is only available until the end of July. It retails for $48.45, and comes with a bonus mix valued at $7.99 (total value = $56.44!) Again, I got it FREE.

It consists of 1) Blue Ribbon Blueberry Bar Mix 2) Howlin' Horseradish Dip Mix 3) Meyer Lemon Infused Oil 4) Green Tea Peppercorn Seasoning Blend 5) Vanilla Bean Chiller Drink Mix and the bonus item 6) Viva, Garlic! Alfredo Sauce Mix.

The Rest

I earned $111.15 in product ON TOP OF all the stuff above. This is what I picked out:
Vidalia Onion Dressing
Lemonade Fruit Dip Mix
Onion Onion
Fiesta Party Dip Mix
Garden Veggie Dip Mix
Absolutely Almond Pound Cake Mix
Classy Chocolate Pound Cake Mix
Smokey Cheddar Cheese Ball Mix
Bountiful Beer Bread 3-pack
Bayou Bourbon Glaze
Pomegranate Chipotle Sauce
Perfect Parmesan Biscuit Mix
Twisty Grahams

How's THAT for a haul, huh? And, like I said before, all I paid out-of-pocket was $40! The total retail value of ALL these goodies was $230. I think every one of you should call Jen and set up a show with her!!

Ok, Tastefully Simple commercial over. Time to go clean up the next BIG mess in this house. Oh, what's that? I didn't tell you? Yeah, seems there's a leak SOMEWHERE in the f-ing laundry room (our best guess is IN the damn wall!) so I've been dealing with a flooded laundry room for almost a week now. (That's partly because CSJ insists on doing laundry every damn day.) As I've been typing, the shop vac has been sucking up water like crazy. In the meantime, the laundry piles are sky-high, so I think we just may have to head to the laundromat tonight. In the 100 degree heat. Awesome.

It's so hot....

I'm sooooo hungover after my BIRFFDAY bash! I hope this breakfast helps.

This just landed in my inbox. My brother is crazy. (And please don't comment about how inappropriate it is for him to say his baby has a hangover. It's a freakin' JOKE people!) This picture is too cute. But, I want to know why a certain auntie wasn't invited!!

(Hey, Jo! Recognize this restaurant? =) )

I really wanted to share the party with you yesterday, but after a LOONNNGGGG, exhausting day, I walked into a house that was hotter than it was outside! Remember, friends, we're in the middle of a freakin' killer heat wave. Yep, my flimmin' flammin' air is out. AGAIN!!!!!

So, I'll be back to share after this hell is over. I was actually able to get a hold of my dad's friend (the one who fixed it last time) and he's on his way over. I hope he can fix it today because it's supposed to hit 100 again tomorrow. It's already 88 in here.

Lying bastards!!!

I'm referring to the weather forecasters here. The lying bastards!!! They PROMISED me a break from this oppressive heat. THEY LIED!! I just came back in from watering my "garden" (planter boxes on my deck are still a garden, right?) and I'm literally dripping with sweat. (Sorry, I hope you didn't just eat breakfast) It's freakin' HOT again! What the actual fuck!? It's already almost 90! It's supposed to still be 80, for Pete's sake. I am NOT happy right now. I guess I'd better go do whatever errands I had planned for today since it's only gonna get hotter. Lying bastards...

What da WHA?!!

The mid-day news weather guy just said our heat index is going to hit 118 today. We're breaking all kinds of weather records here in ChiTown this week. Super. The temp for today and tomorrow is being predicted to hit 104. Once again, I live in CHICAGO, not Miami, or Dallas, or Phoenix. I'm mean, come ON!

Excuse me while I go research real estate prices in Alaska.

7/4/12

Sorry, that's all I've got. My brain has liquified from the heat. Stud and I tried to get out early and run our errands before it got too hot. When we got back home at 9am, it was already 94. Yippee. Now I just have to figure out how to tell my mother I won't be coming over after all. I don't plan to leave the air-conditioned comfort of my home today.

I need to stop watching the news...

The weather guy just said this is the hottest summer we've had here in Chicago in 41 years. Great, just great. 101, 102, 100. Those are the predicted temps for the next 3 days. Freakin' awesome.

The heat index is currently 96. At 10:22 PM. In Chicago. Fuck me.

My new bestie, Funny, just emailed this to me. Right after I changed my pee-soaked pants, I came here to share it with you! You're welcome.She totally gets me!!

And just for the record, that's totally accurate. We're having a heat wave from hell. I've got the evening news on, and the weather guy just finished saying that there's no relief in sight. The temperature tomorrow is supposed to be 99, and 101 for Thursday. I think it was 99 today. The heat indices for all three days has been between 105-110. So, basically, see above!

7/3/12

Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Talk about the best prank you ever pulled.

Hmmm, I can't really think of one, because I'm not really a prankster. I don't particularly like pranks pulled on me, either. If I think of something later, I'll come back.

I'm (not very patiently!) counting down until I get to see my Monkey today. My brother's dog has an appointment at the vet today. He takes his dog to the same vet I take Dorky Dog to, and it's located about half-way between our houses. So I'm going to meet them at the vet! Plus, I'll be able to pick up some medication for Dorky Dog's ear. Sounds like a win-win!

Well, except for the fact that I'll actually have to leave my house. In case you haven't heard, we're in the middle of a heat wave. An awful heat wave. The kind of heat wave that penguins do NOT like. This particular penguin doesn't like triple-digit temperatures. Go figure.

I had to do it...

I turned my air conditioner on today. Today. May 28. Memorial Day.

That's the earliest I've EVER turned on my air. I am NOT happy right now.

However, apparently we broke all kinds of records today here in Chicago. The 10:00 news just reported that today was the hottest Memorial Day on record here. Great. Just great.

It's actually been hotter the past week or so than it was today. I still held out, and just cranked the fans. But, this afternoon, as I sat in a puddle of my own sweat, trying to pretend I wasn't, I noticed that my thermostat said it was 94 in my house. Ninety-freakin'-four. I took an ice-cold shower. Less than 5 minutes after drying off I was drenched again. (Ok, I'm sorry, I realize that's just gross.)

I had to do it. I had to close the windows and click the air on. I am NOT happy right now.

Oh, come ON!!!

I ran to the grocery store at about 6:30 tonight to grab a couple of things for dinner. THIS is what I saw when I started my car!!

WTF!? We are now on Week 3 of temps that are, quite frankly, abnormal. It's been in the 80s for over a week now. Ninety-freakin'-one?! At 6:30!?

We have cousins who live in California. One of them emailed my brother today to tell him that it was snowing in the mountains, and that they had freakin' FROST in San Diego! And, he sent a screen shot from his local news that specifically listed the town we live in, with a temp of 86 listed. He wants to know what the hell is going on. I wish I knew. I think I've had enough now. Two weeks ago, it was nice. Last week, I was loving it. But over the weekend, as the temps climbed into the upper 80s, and now 90s today, I'm so over it. I'm ready for the 50s to come back. You know, like it's SUPPOSED to be in March in Chicago!!!

When is this misery going to end?

It is so incredibly miserable outside right now. This God-awful heat continues here in ChiTown, much to my dismay. Thank the sweet Lord, my air is fixed!! I was out shopping with my sister this afternoon, and every time we stepped outside, it felt like we were walking into a blast furnace. There was an alert earlier today about the poor air quality. The 283% humidity didn't make it any easier to breathe. We both decided that walking to our car felt like we were walking next to an open grill, or standing in front of an open oven, while trying to breathe underwater. Sounds great, right?

Now, for the past hour, there's been a constantly streaming weather alert on the TV. We're supposed to get severe thunderstorms tonight. Great. I have a feeling my power will be going out soon. And, if that happens, we're screwed. We'll be stuck here cuz CSJ is out of town again.

Oh, holy crap, they just broke into the show I have on to say there is now a tornado warning going on. WTF?! Guess I'd better go check in with the rest of my bloggy buddies before the power goes out.

Oh, c'mon already!!

I've been feeling hot and cranky all day today. It started this morning when the power went out, leaving me without air-conditioning for a while. Like I said earlier, I opened the windows in my room just a crack, just to get some air circulating. All that did was let the humidity in, making it more miserable.

Like I said, the power, thankfully, was only out for a bit this morning. However, it just wouldn't cool off. I turned the thermostat down a bit, hoping that might help. I took a cold shower around 5, which helped for the moment. Later, I actually went to lie down on my bed, right in front of the fan, hoping to cool off. I ended up falling asleep for a little while, but woke up because I was so hot. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and got up to see what the hell was going on. My thermostat was set at 75, but the temperature of the house read 87!! WTF??!

I checked to make sure the fan was on, then walked over to a vent, thinking that maybe it was just blowing warm air. Well, it wasn't blowing at all! Again, WTF?!

I ran down to the basement, and sure enough, nothing is happening. I checked the circuit breakers, no problem. Then, I opened the front of the furnace. I don't know what the hell I was looking for, but I did notice that the air filter hadn't been changed in a while. So, I grabbed a new filter, slid the old, dirty one out, and started to slide the new one in. I figured, if nothing else, when the HVAC guy came for the inevitable service call tomorrow, he would at least find a clean filter.

As I was trying to slide the new filter in, I somehow bent the cardboard frame a bit, and it fell to the bottom, hitting the blower. Low and behold, it started up. For the third time, WTF?!? I have no idea what made the blower start working again, but you know what? I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

The last couple of days, I feel like the universe has been angry with me for something. Yesterday, when I walked out to take Stud to school, my car was dead. I tried unsuccessfully to jump it from my mom's car before leaving with her for lunch. Then, after lunch, I tried it again. It still didn't work. Last night, after he ate dinner, my poor daddy came over and took care of it for me.

Then, this morning, the power went out. Now, this weird air-conditioner thing. I hope to God it doesn't go out again. My air-conditioning unit is fairly new (less than 3 years) but my furnace/blower is pretty old. I hope I don't have to replace it, cuz that would suck hairy donkey balls.

On a different note, we apparently have big storms rolling through tonight. When I went outside to throw the dirty air filter away, I was stunned to see a light show going on in the distance. I ran back in the house to grab my crappy camera so I could try and capture some of it for you.

Unfortunately, after I downloaded these to my computer, I tried to watch them, and they were almost pitch black. But, I figured, what the hell, I took them for YOU, the least you could do is watch them! ;-)

Ok, I just watched these through Blogger, and they're pretty awful. You can see the lightning, but you can't see what it really looked like. The sky was pretty light, and the lightning show was going on behind a curtain of clouds. Eh, I tried.

OK, I know...

...that by now, you're all probably sick of my complaining about our weather. I can hear you all the way over here. "Oh, ChiTown, shut the hell up already!! It's July!" And, I get that. However, if I lived in freakin' Miami, or the Bahamas, I wouldn't be complaining. (ok, yes, I would be cuz I HATE the heat) But, I live in CHICAGO. Yes, we're known for our hot, humid, oppressive summers. But, shit, it's been DAYS now of heat index readings in the triple freakin' digits. Enough, already!!

I went to lunch with my mom today, this is what her car said when we got to the restaurant at noon.
I purposely picked a parking spot under a tree, in the shade. But, at about 1:30 when we came out, it said this!!!Ugh! It's just ridiculous.

Since I'm in a bitching mood, let me tell you what an assbag our new mayor is. He's been screwing with teachers from the moment he was elected. He wants to completely revamp our entire education system, blah, blah, blah. I know I haven't been talking about it, but that's mostly cuz it pisses me off so much, I try not to think about it more than necessary. However, today's little announcement in the news was too good to not share. What a jerk!

Seriously, WTF?!?!