Happy Halloween

Is it wrong...

...that this makes me a little jealous?

I'd like to thank my brother for making me cry at work today...

...when I opened up an email from him, and saw this:I have no words, only tears of pure joy.

Email of the Day

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of their different specialties, they would open a practice together, to share office space and personnel.

Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors."

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids."

This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign: "Catatonics and High Colonics" - No go.

Next, they tried: "Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives" - thumbs down again.

Then came: "Minds and Behinds" - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in: "Lost Souls and Butt Holes" - unacceptable again!

Sighing, they tried: "Analysis and Anal Cysts" - not a chance.

"Nuts and Butts" - no way.

"Freaks and Cheeks" - still no good.

"Loons and Moons" - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends." Everyone loved it!

Email of the Day

An Italian MaMa

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Anthony for dinner.

He lives with a female roommate, Maria.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Anthony's roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Anthony and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Anthony volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Anthony saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl.

You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it.

But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son

Anthony

Several days later, Anthony received a response email from his MaMa which read:

Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.

But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa

Moral:

Never Bulla Shita you MaMa

So sweet, my teeth hurt!

One of my favorite bloggers, La Roo, posted this over at her place today. I just HAD to share it with you guys.

Now, for a great big belly laugh, go see what my other bloggy buddy, Jim, posted over at his place tonight. TOO funny!!

I didn’t quite think that through enough…

*This post is from LAST Sunday. I wrote it when the internet was out, not thinking it would be out for five freakin' days!! I just found the draft sitting here, and realized I never published it. Sorry. Truthfully, I don't think I actually finished writing it, but I'm not up to a big edit right now.

Stud just decided this past Wednesday night to accept an invitation to a costume party that last night. It was being held at the house of one of his besties other besties. (did that make sense?) His bestie, George, came with us Wednesday when we went to get our hair done at my girlfriend’s place. He used the ride there to convince Stud to go.

(Quick side note, here’s his finished ‘do. As usual, he’s THRILLED to have his picture taken by me!!)

Anyway, while my sister and I were getting our hair done, the two of them disappeared outside for a while. I went outside to check on them (because it was after 10pm, and they were outside in a big, empty parking lot) and Stud was on the phone with his wife. Turns out, he invited her to come to the party! They were discussing what they should wear.

They came up The Annoying Couple. You know that couple. They dress alike, the act alike, they talk alike, they act lovey-dovey every minute of the day. THAT couple.

On the drive home, we were trying to figure out what they could wear. They wanted to dress alike, and I remembered that Stud and I have matching pajama pants (you’ve all seen mine before because I live in them. Naturally, they have penguins on them!) I usually wear just a navy blue t-shirt with mine, and I knew Stud had one, too, so they were going to wear those. Ah, but then I thought, why not white t-shirts? Then, we could write something annoying on them, like “I’m with him ---->, <---- I’m with her” or “I love my husband, I love my wife” You get the idea.

After an INCREDIBLY long day out at the bar (because Stud cleans at a snail’s pace, but that’s another post!) we rushed straight over to his wife’s house, already 45 minutes late. Because of Stud’s turtle speed, we were SO late. I had left him cleaning earlier to go to the store and get the t-shirts, and the plan was I would make them while he was getting ready, then we’d go get the wife, blah, blah, blah. Well, we didn’t even pick up Wifey until the time the party was to start. Ugh! I HATE being late for things!!!!

I told Wife I hadn’t even had a chance to make the shirts yet, and the two of them were deciding what they wanted on them. After talking about the ideas we had had the other night, Stud came up with, “We should just write something on them that makes it so you have to stand together to read it.” Then it hit me – half-hearts on both shirts so when they stand together it makes a complete heart! We were cracking up.

We rushed home, Stud jumped in the shower, and I grabbed my paint markers and the shirts. As I was trying to get the hearts on the shirts, it hit me – write something in the hearts. Wife and I were so geeked up, I was having a hard time drawing. We couldn’t stop giggling. Here’s the idea we came up with.

Now, unfortunately, I didn’t think this through enough. I simply laid the shirts side by side, and drew. I didn’t take into consideration the depth of their bodies. Poop. I also didn’t take into consideration the fact that Stud is taller than his wife! Argh!! If I had to do them again, I know exactly how I’d adjust them. Sadly, there was no time to fix them, since they were already an hour late for the party. (George called every 5 minutes for that hour, by the way!)

Sadly, because of my poor planning, the hearts looked more like a circle when they stood next to each other. But, they still looked pretty cute. Oh, and I forgot to mention the fact that I had matching shoes for them, too! (I really wanted to stop at a dollar store and pick up some cute reading glasses. I had planned to just pop the lenses out so they could matching glasses, too. But, once again, Stud was TOO DAMN SLOW!)

I think they still looked adorable. Wife had a great time, as did Stud. I figured they were enjoying themselves when he never called for a ride. I would have given him the car to drive them, but kids under 18 can’t drive past 11:00 on the weekend. I didn’t want them to have to cut their evening short, which is why I drove them. Stud kept trying to convince Wife that they should just leave before 11, and then come back here and hang out, just the two of them, for a while. I kept telling him to wait and see, because they just might not want to leave early, which is exactly what happened. (Sheesh, why are we moms always right?!)

In the windup, George, who turned 18 the night before, drove them back to our house (Thank you, George!) and then we drove Wife home. They weren’t quite ready to leave each other, but it was late, and I was exhausted. All the way to Wife’s house, Stud was trying to convince her to hang out today. I don’t think it’s going to happen. It’s almost 10:30, he’s still asleep, and she has to babysit later today. It seems they have they found the secret to a long-lasting marriage – lots of time apart! Hey, it works for MY parents!

Email of the Day

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.

The doctor comes in and says,"Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk and talk again, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it."

The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You have $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up.

"So," the doctor says, "You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five incher before and get a nine incher now she might be a bit put out. If you had a nine incher before and you decide to only invest in a five incher now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision."

The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day. "So, have you spoken with your wife?"

"Yes I have," says the man.

"And has she helped you make a decision?"

"Yes" says the man.

"What is your decision?" asks the doctor.

"We're getting granite counter tops."

Thanks, Sis. I needed that giggle!

Obviously my internet is fixed, but it's been a busy weekend. I'm just getting home from a delightful night with the family celebrating my niece's 15th birthday. I'll probably share a few pictures tomorrow, since I'm too pooped to download them right now.

How much longer!?!?!

I had to come to Corner Bakery for the sole purpose of using their free wifi, so I figured I would say a quick "hello" to my bloggy buddies. I pray to God Comcast gets this problem fixed this afternoon! Ok, I'd better get back to what brought me here...

I only have a second...

...cuz I'm technically stealing this internet connection. MY internet has been down since friggin' SATURDAY!! #$%@*@ Comcast!!!! I'm losing my shit here cuz I have no idea what's been going on with my bloggy buddies!! AND, I'm completely blowing NaBloPoMo for October! :( I actually have a couple of posts written and waiting to be published. Poop. Comcast is supposed to be coming tomorrow (yeah, I said TOMORROW!!) to fix the problem, so I guess you'll just have to miss me until then. Well, unless I decide to just pack up the laptop and go sit at a Starbucks or something tonight. Miss you!

Saturday

I just dropped Stud and his wife off at a costume party. I made them costumes in the time it took him to take a shower. I will share tomorrow. Right now, I need to take out my contacts and go to bed. Oh, poop. I can't go to bed. I have to pick them up in a couple hours. Ah, the life of a parent...

TGIF

Friday, October 14, 2011

Which was the best year of your life (so far)?

By now, you all know my gut reaction was to say 1993, since that's the year I was pregnant with Stud (Feb-Nov) and then, obviously, the year he was born. But, since that's such a given, I'm going to go with another answer.

Some of you may remember me telling you about my New Millennium Resolution, made way back on New Year's Day, 2000. Well, let me tell ya, 2000 was one hell of a year for ChiTown Girl. I had more fun that year than any other year I can remember. Most of it I can't write about here (sorry) but trust me, it was a great year. I finally started living, as opposed to sitting around wallowing in the misery of being alone. I recently discovered that CSJ reads this blog sometimes, so I'm going to just keep the details to myself for now. But, feel free to make up your own. ;-)

I started a new adventure today, and I just may tell you all about it over the weekend. Right now I need to go change my clothes and comb my hair, since I'm on my way out to dinner. Stud is at one of his besties' houses for a birthday party, Brian is downstairs playing XBox, so it's just the grown-ups. Or, as Stud likes to say, Date Night. Well, actually, my Bestest Friend is joining us, so not so much a date, as a Grown-Ups Night. Whatever. I'm still looking forward to it. Hope you're having a great Friday night, too.

10/13/11

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Between your mother and your father, who are you more alike?

If you've been coming by here for any length of time, you already know this answer. I've been hearing for 43 years about how I'm EXACTLY like my father. Many of you have even commented on how much we look alike. My mother tells me ALL THE TIME how much I'm like my father. Of course, she usually talking about all the things that piss her off, but whatever!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

If your life flashed before your eyes, what are 5 moments you know would be included?

#1 - Hands down, the day my Stud Muffin was born, November 6, 1993

#2 - January 19,1991, my wedding day

#3 - All 3 of my college graduations (yes, I know that's THREE days, deal with it)

#4 - All 3 of my nieces' birth days (again, just deal)

#5 - Stud's graduation from 8th grade (this one will soon be replaced by his high school graduation. Dear Lord, how did THAT happen so soon?!)

Sorry, I can't help but share this...

10/11/11

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What is your first memory?

Hmmm, this is a tough one. I have an incredible memory, and it's been the talk of my family for as long as I can remember. I've told my mom about things I remember that she swears happened when I was about 9 months old. I'm not really sure I can say what my "first" memory is, but I do have lots of old ones. I'll share one of my family's favorites.

I can remember being on a trip with my parents and my aunt & uncle. I was about 2 at the time. It was bedtime for me, and my mom was reading me a story. Well, she was sort of reading me a story. In between, she was talking to her sister and the men folk. I had to keep reminding her that I was waiting for my story. After a while, I became completely exasperated, and I finally yelled at her. "Are you gonna read me this God-damned story or not?!" (See, Suz? My potty mouth goes WAY back!) Needless to say, the adults all fell on the floor in hysterics.

Why don't you guys share YOUR earliest memories. I'd love to read all about them.

Damn you, Brachs Candy Company!!

I wait all year to indulge in one of my favorite treats - candy corn! I've learned that there are two very clear groups of people when it comes to candy corn. Either you love it or you hate it. Obviously, I LOVE it!

I had to go to Walgreen's tonight to drop off some prescriptions, and pick up some medicine for Stud, who came home sick from school today. I dropped the prescriptions off at the window, then went down the cold medicine aisle. I still had some time to kill until the prescriptions were going to be ready, so I went down the Halloween aisle. Much to my delight/dismay, there was a big, giant display of candy corn. AND, it was on sale! Damn it!!!

There were some new and interesting flavors on this display. This one immediately caught my eye.
And, damn if it wasn't as good as it sounded!! I opened it as soon as I got home, and there's barely half a bag left. I made myself put it up on a shelf so I wouldn't finish it while I typed this!

Instead of "regular" candy corn, I got this Indian Corn. It has a chocolate stripe!!!
Oh, and this one sounded interesting. I hope it's as great a find as the caramel flavor.Hi, my name is ChiTown Girl, and I'm a candy corn-aholic.

Another new addition…

My neighbor got the cutest puppy last month. His name is Max. He’s a rescued pit pup, and he’s about to be a dognapping victim. He LOVES Buster, and he’s actually given Buster a little pep to his step lately. You can see by the creative way we’ve fortified the fence, he’s been trying to dig under it to come play with Grandpa Buster.

He looks very much like another rescued pit pup we know – My brother’s dog, Pootz. Don’t you think? Well, except for Max’s ears, which make him look like a gremlin! hahaha! And, he doesn't have the white strip down his face, but still, they could be litter mates.

Kinda makes you want to go rescue a pup, now doesn’t it?

Why I love October...

THIS was my breakfast! :) The first Affy Tapple of the season is ALWAYS the best! Thank God I only bought one, because I would have eaten as many as I had in the house. The pumpkin spice coffee has been starting my day for a few weeks now. Have I ever mentioned how much I love my Keurig?! No? I didn't think so. ;-)

This requires far too much thought for a Monday...

Monday, October 10, 2011

What do you think happens after you die?

Wow, this was NOT what I was expecting for a prompt today. I don't particularly like to write about such "deep" things, so I'll keep my response short and sweet.

I think you go to heaven and reunite with all your loved ones who have passed. Everyone is happy, healthy and pain-free. You all get to spend eternity together. There is no pain, no illness, no sadness, only joy, joy, joy.

And that's my idea of what happens after you die. Yes, it sounds like an 8 year-old wrote it, but it's what I'm praying really happens.

She did it again!!!

Because I was gone all day yesterday, and didn't get home until very late, I didn't get yesterday's mail out of my mailbox until right this minute. Look what was in there! ANOTHER gift from my friend Debbie! I wonder why she thought this was so perfect for me... ;-)

She better watch it, a girl could get very used to this kind of treatment. THANK YOU, Deb. Your generosity is astounding!

Is it still only Saturday?

Holy shmoly, I'm tired. Stud and I left here just over 12 hours ago, and we spent the whole day with my brother. Stud went out to clean the bar, which I think is his new job now. This is the third weekend he's gone, and my brother has slowly been phasing out the kid who was cleaning for him. He was NOT happy with this kid, so it all seems to be working out for the best.

We spent some of that time enjoying lunch with my brother and cousin, and we ended the evening by having a quick bite to eat with just my brother at a restaurant across the street from the bar. While we were eating, our parents arrived at the bar, so we ran in to say hello real quick before leaving. Stud is wiped OUT! He came straight in the house, and went to bed. I'm about to do the same, now that I've fulfilled my NaBloPoMo obligation for the day. Good night!

Figure It Out Friday

Friday, October 7, 2011

Talk about one important thing that happened between last Friday and today.

Well, I dropped a little crumb about this already earlier in the week. The most important thing that's happened between last Friday and today is the baptism of this little beauty.

I know I still haven't shared the scoop about this angel, but that's mostly because it's not really my scoop to give. Maybe I can just drop a few more crumbs, and let you follow the trail.

Have you figured it out?

10/6/11

Thursday, October 6, 2011

List two things (however close or far) that your current home is between.

My parents' house (about 20 blocks away) and GORGEOUS downtown Chicago.

I spent a wonderful night in my gorgeous city last night. CSJ and I, along with my Bestest Friend, took an architectural tour down the Chicago River. (Yes, you read that right - CSJ and I. Shut up, ok?)

I took my babies on an architectural tour around Navy Pier every year for 8 years. It was the shorter, half-hour tour that basically circled the pier. Then, New Principal came along, and put an end to that.

It's a great tour, and I've always really enjoyed it, despite the fact that most of my time was spent making sure no babies ended up overboard, sprinkled with trips to the bathroom every 8 1/2 minutes.

So, over the summer, when Groupon had a deal for tickets to the longer, one-hour tour that goes down the river, I jumped on it.

I tried to get as many pictures as I possible, since our city is even MORE gorgeous at night, when it's all lit up. You guys already know what a crappy camera I have, so those pictures aren't the greatest. There's some serious lag-time between when you push the button and when the picture actually snaps. Add to that the fact that the boat was cruisin' along, and it all adds up to some blurry, yet interesting, photos. Some of them have a really cool 'artsy' look to them. It's almost like I took them that way on purpose.

As we were cruising along, I suddenly remembered that I had my iPod with me, so I took a ton of pictures with that, too. Those are actually much better than the ones I took with my camera. Things were going along swimmingly, right up until the iPod died. Ugh.

I’m putting all the photos from both cameras here. The blurry, I mean artistic, ones are probably from my camera, and the better ones are probably from my iPod.

(Hey, Suz! I FINALLY used Live Writer to do this, and you're so right! It's MUCH easier!!)

Chicago River Night Tour VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

10/5/11

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

List two things (however close or far) that your childhood home is between.

My childhood home is where my parents' still live. It is between my house and my siblings' homes. Of the three of us, I live the closest to my parents. I live about 20 blocks away from them. I've actually walked there a few times, and when Stud was a baby, I would put him in my bike trailer and ride my bike over there. My sister lives about 30 blocks from my parents, and my brother lives about a half hour drive from them. Wow, this is the most boring paragraph I've ever typed.

I just walked in from a wonderful evening, and I'm planning to tell you all about it in the morning. It actually fits in with tomorrow's NaBloPoMo prompt! But, right now, I'm so exhausted, I need to just fall into bed. Nighty night!

Suz, this one actually wasn't too bad...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Are you the oldest, youngest, middle or only child? Talk about siblings.

Those of you who have been around for a while know that I have a brother and a sister, both younger. I'm the oldest, although now that we're adults, I'm ALWAYS asked if I'm the youngest. tee hee

I really wanted to share some pictures of us growing up, but I'm feeling FAR too lazy to go looking for my old pictures. I did scan a few for you, though, that I had around the house.

This one makes me laugh just looking at it!! You guys know that I was a band geek. My sister was, too, but only for a couple of years. My brother was never in band in grade school, but when he was a toddler, one of my uncles gave him this bugle, that he used to drag out every time my sister and I had our instruments out. Obviously this was taken on a night when we had a performance. I'm going to guess I was in 7th grade, my sister was in 5th, and my brother would have been kdg.
This is one of my favorite family photos. It's been on my refrigerator for 19 years now. It's clearly from my sister's wedding (Oct. 3, 1992). I can not believe how young we all look! Or, how thin I was!! I may have mentioned before that after being an absolute HOUSE at my own wedding, about 2 years before my sister's, I went on (yet another!!) diet and exercise plan, and by the time my sister's wedding arrived, I was down about 80 pounds, and looking pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Naturally, right after my sister got married, Stud was conceived, and I've never been that size again. :(This one is also on my fridge, right below the wedding photo. I love this picture of us! Mostly because the most beautiful city in the world is our backdrop. This was taken on Lower Wacker, over looking the Chicago River, in December 1999. My cousin from Alabama came to visit for the first time, and we were showing him around our gorgeous city.Maybe if I get a sudden burst of energy, I'll go dig up some photos that are actually cute. Or, from the 21st century!!

Yeah, I'm doing it again...

Last week, I got an email about NaBloPoMo, like I do every month. The theme for October is Between. Not really sure what that's going to entail, but I'm feeling frisky today, so I figured, why not?

Monday, October 3, 2011

What is something you always pack on a trip?

A great book.

Is that answer too short? Well, I kinda feel like it doesn't need much more of an explanation than that. I'll try to do better with future prompts.

What a day....

...we had today. Not sure how much I want to say about it just yet. It has to do with some 'stuff' that I'd plan to share in The Post. Yeah, yeah, I know I've been promising for the past 3 months that I was going to share The Post, but it's just not quite ready yet. Don't give up on me just yet.

That being said, I'm actually starting to feel anxious about it, though, because I feel like there's been WAY too much of a build-up to something that's going to just be a so-so post. Truthfully, the purpose it will serve will really just be for me to get it all out, in black and white, and to have more or less of a journal entry to look back on later.

I will, however, leave you with this little teaser. Yesterday was all about this little angel. :)

This about sums it up....

Many thanks to Cyndy over at Putting the FUN in DysFUNctional for this. It made me laugh out loud, then immediately want to make a T-shirt!