I'm a big girl now...

OK, so I'm sitting here at the bar, where I have been working all night. ALONE!!! This is the first night I've literally been ALL ALONE, working! Truth be told, I'm pretty damn proud of myself!

Now, sadly the reason I'm alone is that my baby brother is really sick. He started coming down with something last week, maybe Thursday night. Sore throat, then a cough the next day, then by Saturday, he really had something going on in his chest. He came in (after I opened) and says, "I coughed something up at home that looked like a Wacky Wallcrawler!"

Pretty image, huh? By the time we closed Saturday night, he was really hurting. Sunday, he didn't even come to dinner with us (my daddy, sister and I) and then called while we were eating dinner to ask if I could go open the bar. He came in about 8, but looked like hell. He sat on a stool at the bar the whole time, but at least he was there to answer any questions I had. I knew he was really sick because he actually answered me, instead of saying, "Just move, I'll make it." like he usually does. By 10, I could see he was getting worse, so like a good big sister, I went over to feel his head, and he was definitely running a fever. I immediately gave him 2 Advil, and sent him home. It was dead by midnight, so I closed early and went home to get some sleep because...

My daddy left for Italy today :( That's why we were out for dinner last night, kind of a farewell dinner I guess. I took him to the airport like I always do. My sister and her girls met me and my son over at Daddy's for a final good-bye this morning, but my brother never made it. I didn't even want to call him because I was hoping he was sleeping. When we finally left for the airport, I called him, but he didn't answer. He called back a few minutes later, and I had indeed woken him up. He told me to call him back when we got to the airport, which is about a 45 minute drive from our house. He was still sleeping then, and I feel bad that I woke him up again, but he wanted to say good-bye. I told him earlier, the first time I woke him up, that he should try and sleep all day, and that I would open the bar again. By the time we got back from the airport, I had just enough time to jump in the shower, get dressed and get over to the bar to open. At some point, my brother woke up and called to check on me, and I told him to stay in bed and not come in at all. And lo and behold, he never came in! It's now almost 1:00am, and I worked a whole night by myself!! Yay me!! I have made dozens of martinis, and even made one up. Ooo, and it was yummy, too! More on that later...

Tonight has been interesting to say the least. There were some really fun groups of people in and out of here tonight, and I've really been having a great time. And, no one has complained about my drinks! Another night on my own, and I'll be a pro! I'll be flipping bottles, a la Cocktail, in no time! Haha! I crack myself up!

Earlier tonight, a woman came in and was looking at the drink menu and decided she might like a German Chocolate Martini, but was a little confused because the menu said there was citrus vodka in it. I looked, and sure enough, the recipe I had said citrus. Hmmm, sounds wrong, right? So, instead we put together our own ingredients, and I must say, this thing kicked ass!! This is what we came up with:

3 parts Malibu Coconut, 1 part Frangelica, 1 part Godiva Chocolate Liqueur and a splash of cream. Put in a shaker full of ice, shake vigorously, strain into a martini glass and garnish with a maraschino cherry.

I started this post at about 11ish, and it is now 3:30am. I just got home and I'm wiped out! But all in all, I had a GREAT night. Lots of fun people, and luckily for me, mostly big tippers! I came home with $140 tonight. Not bad, huh? I'm trying to ignore the fact that I worked nearly 10 hours, my legs are throbbing and I'm fighting to keep my eyes open right now. I'm going to focus on the fact that our total ring tonight was only about $360, and I made $140 in tips! That's more than 30%! Very nice, I must say. It looks like I have gas money this week!

At some point tonight, one of my good friends called to tell me her husband's cousin made the Olympic swim team tonight!! Very exciting! I'm far too exhausted to remember her name right now, but I'll try to come back tomorrow and update you. On that note, I must say good night!

Shame on me...

This is how I'm feeling today. But, I promised myself I would take this week for "vacation" so I'll deal with it next week. I have, however, gone on the CPS website to look at the job vacancies, so that's something....

Happy Father's Day, Daddy!

I just had to post this picture again, cuz like I said, it's one of my absolute favorites of me and my Daddy.

This one if for my dear, sweet friend, Laura. That's Frank's dad and my dad, and yes, they look a LOT alike, don't they? My uncle is the oldest of the 5 brothers and my dad is the youngest, as well as the baby of 13. Yes, my grandmother was a saint!!

Happy Father's Day, Daddy, and Mickey Mouse!! (I've been calling my uncle that for as long as I can remember, but I don't quite remember the story there...) And, Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there!! Enjoy the day. I'll give you all three guesses as to where we all are right now, and the first two don't count. Besides celebrating Father's Day, the family is all getting together to bid farewell to my mamma, cuz she's "leaving...on a jet plane..." tomorrow for her villa. On that note, I'm off to par-tay with the familia!

***On a side note, I really need to quit using "cuz." The spell checker doesn't like it, and it's just horrible grammer for a teacher, isn't it? Oh, but wait...I'm on summer vacation!!!! YAY!

Praise the Lord, it's over!!!!!

I have never, in nearly 20 years of teaching, EVER been so happy for a school year to end!! I'm feeling a little guilty, though, cuz I tore out of there like a bat out of hell, and I didn't even say good bye to anyone. It's really gonna hit me in a few days, because, God willing, I won't be returning in the fall, so I may never see some of these people again. In some cases, to be perfectly honest, that's a-ok with me! But, there are a few people there that I will genuinely miss if I don't come back. Luckily, I have everyone's addresses and phone numbers, since one of the things I did as Social Committee Chairperson was put together a staff directory with everyone's info, including email addresses, so I suppose I could stay in touch if I wanted to.

I'm sitting at the bar - WORKING -so I don't really have the time to properly reflect, but I will definitely come back and do that later. (After some of the funny comments from the other day, I felt the need to clarify the "working" part!)

Here's to the end of another school year! Cheers!

I'm tired...

...and irritated. I'm sure you're thinking, "What's new?!" I realize I do an awful lot of complaining here, but quite frankly, that's why I started this blog. I wanted a place to vent, and here it is. I'm actually too tired to type out a rant today, though, so I guess you've lucked out. I need to get changed and get over to the bar. Tomorrow is the last day of the 2007-2008 school year, so at least there's light at the end of the tunnel....

Happy Anniversary, Mommy and Daddy!

Today is my parents' 42nd wedding anniversary. Yay for them! I think the secret to their longevity is that my mother spends six months a year at her villa in Italy, while my dad stays here, but hey, whatever it takes!!

Because I'm celebrating such a wonderful occasion, I won't bitch about school today, or the fact that there were STILL frickin' kids there today!!!!!!

I'm off to meet my family at the bar to celebrate 42 wonderful years. OK, 42 years ;-)

I couldn't pick just one today, sorry:

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock. ~Author Unknown

Spouse: someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. ~Author Unknown

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~Peter Devries

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Source Unknown

Um...HELLO!!!!!

What part of "kindergarten is OVER!" did you not understand!!???!!

There have been kids at school everyday since their "last" day. WTF?!?! Dori and I were both out Friday, so they put the kids together with one sub, then Dori was there yesterday, but I was at graduation, so there was a sub in my room. Today, I was there but Dori was out, and luckily none of her kids came. Well, truthfully, one showed up about 40 minutes late for school, holding two bags of Flaming Hots, with red-orange Cheeto cheese all over her face and fingers. Obviously, she made a little pit stop at the corner store before coming to school! I asked her who brought her, and she said her sister. So, naturally, I dragged her back out the front door, chased her sister down, and sent her home! The nerve of some people! The sister happened to graduate yesterday, so she probably didn't want to be stuck babysitting her little sister all day, so she brought her to school. When she was good and ready, obviously! After a stop at the store, obviously! I fully expected a phone call or complaint from the parent, but there wasn't any. Maybe it'll happen tomorrow, after momma comes home and find out I sent her home. Oh well!

As for my little darlings, five of them showed up today. I asked each and every one, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" The one little girl said, "My momma had to work." OH, so I get it, I'm the babysitter! Yeah, that makes sense. I went to school for years, spent 10s of thousands of dollars, got a damn masters degree! to babysit. Ok, thanks for clearing that up for me. I'm glad I had to get a babysitter for my own child so that I could come here and babysit for yours. Granted, my son was at his father's house, but still, I had to make sure I had somewhere for him to be so I could go to work. Why exactly is it you think you don't have to do that? Augh!! So aggravating!!

Little D.J. came today, of course, but was about 30 minutes late. He came be-boppin' in at around 9:30, all dirty and sweaty, holding a basketball! "Um, why are you so late?" Shoulder shrug. "Were you outside all this time playing basketball?" Shoulder shrug. I started to send him back home, since he was so late, but then I remember the house I'd be sending him to, and changed my mind. Plus, I missed the little bugger. The sub from Friday left my three pages of notes about how bad he was, as did the sub from yesterday! I'm going to really miss him. There's a BIG part of me that wishes I could just take him from his house and keep him. I want to "fix" him, before it's too late. I feel like this poor baby doesn't have a chance in life already, and he's only 6. OK, I've been an emotional mess for about a week now, and I feel a rant coming, so I'm going to change the subject.

I spent the day pulling every single thing out of all my closets and off all my shelves, and trying to get it somewhat organized so that I can start packing it up and bringing it home. But, sheesh, there's a LOT of stuff! I think I may need to rent a truck to get it all home. I'm taking everything home that's mine. God willing, I'll have a new job in the fall, so this will save me the trouble of packing it later. If for some reason I return to the Hell-Hole in the fall (yes, you SHOULD be praying for me, thank you!) my room will be all cleaned out and decluttered. 90% of the stuff I have there doesn't get used anyway, because there just isn't any time. Between our reading program, our math program, our science program, and the social studies we're supposed to squeeze in, too, there is zero playtime for the babies anyway, so why leave all my stuff there? The one downside is that I'm going to have to rent a small storage unit to put it all in because there's just too much. I plan to spend at least one day a week weeding through the stuff to get rid of what I don't need. Plus, I'm leaving a lot at school that I'm just going to replace since it's old and junky now. I don't want to bring any of this stuff home, since I just emptied my basement of all the crap that was down there. I don't want to junk it up again. At least not just yet. I do have a huge closet on the one end of the basement that my basement guy built me just for school stuff. Sadly, it's currently filled with a ton of other crap that we needed to get out of the way during construction. But, once I go through it all and empty the closet, I'll bring my school stuff there and organize it properly. I'm almost getting a bit excited at the prospect of having my stuff all organized and at my fingertips. I'll be one step closer to my dream of opening my own preschool/daycare center! Yay!

I stole this from Dori's blog, cuz it made me giggle!

It's over...

...my son is officially NOT a little boy anymore. Boo hoo! His graduation was beautiful this morning, just beautiful. Naturally, I bawled like a baby through most of it. I'm so proud of him, and I'm so excited for him to start this next chapter of his life. I'm still feeling a bit overwhelmed with emotion, so I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead.

I just remembered...

...one day last week we were making birdhouses out of milk carton. We had saved the milk cartons the Friday before, but never rinsed them out or anything. So, they sat in my room, which we all know is 100 degrees, over the weekend, and basically fermented. Come Monday, I started the project with the babies, and as I cut the first hole in the first carton, I noticed the rancid smell. I had made the babies wait all weekend to do this, so I figured I would just ignore it, fill it with bird seed anyway, and call it a day. Well, by the third one, the smell was really getting to me. I had one baby standing next to me, since we were making her house, and little D.D. was standing behind her, getting help with spelling a word in his journal. As I was cutting the carton, I got a big whiff of the icky, spoiled milk smell, and said, "Oo, jeez, this REALLY stinks!" Without even looking up, or stopping his writing, D.D. says very matter-of-factly, "Oh, that's just my breath, I didn't brush my teeth this morning." Well, thank you for sharing!

Things that make you go hmmm....

I have stayed away from sharing anything political here, at the risk of offending anyone, but I've come to the realization that this is MY space to share the things I want to share. So, if you're offended, I apologize. I found this interesting...

No more pencils, no more books, no more teacher's dirty looks...

Praise God, it's over!!!! The babies are GONE!!!! I can't tell you what a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. The afternoon was not even close to what I planned, but who the hell cares! It's over! There's no wondering why my kids never listened or followed directions, because none of their parents do either! Whatever! Thanks to a miserably hot and humid Chicago summer day, most of the parents wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible because my room was like a friggin' sauna! Most of them took their kids home within a half hour of getting there. Thank you!

By the time I left school today, I was in a glorious mood. Surprise, surprise! Despite it being in the 90s today (boo! hiss!) it was so bright and sunny when I left that I couldn't help but smile! I was SO happy, I was compelled to pull out my camera while I was driving to snap some pictures of the beautiful blue sky and fluffy, puffy clouds!

OK, I was driving down a side street on my way home and had this WTF moment...

This picture reminded me of being a kid and lying on your back in the grass, looking up at the clouds, and trying to "find" things. Most of the time, though, I just saw big puffs of cotton candy! This is the view down a street in my neighborhood. Beautiful, no? I love tree-lined streets! And, I mean real trees, not those baby trees you see in new subdivisions, but grown-up trees that tell you the neighborhood has been around for a while.
This is my very humble abode. It's your typical teeny, tiny Chicago raised ranch bungalow. You may not be able to see in the picture that my street curves, but I'm right on the apex of the curve. This means I have a pie-shaped lot, with a really big front yard, but a really small backyard, as you may have seen in some past pictures I've posted. But, it's perfect for me, because it's as much yard as I can take care of!

Home Sweet Home!

I love my fire hydrant! Plus, it gets me a discount on my homeowner's insurance! Yay! [I was trying to figure out what those weird streaks were in this picture, and I just realized that I took it through my back window, which is tinted, and those are scrapes in my tint :(]

OK, I'm off to put my feet up. As the day went on, I could feel my legs and feet swelling like sausages, to the point that I felt like my skin was going to split like a sausage casing. But, even that can't dampen my good mood!! AND, I have a 4-day weekend coming! Yay!!! I'm planning on coming back tomorrow to actually post some stuff about school, I promise. Good night!

Let's try something new...

...how 'bout, instead of bitching up a storm today, I share some funny "school" stuff instead? Hmm, novel idea, isn't it? Gee, maybe I should start a blog just for school stuff....oh, wait, that's what THIS is!

This story is going to lose a little in the translation, because you really need to hear the tone of voice and see the facial expressions, but here goes...

J.H. came over to my desk and said, "Mrs. L.! D.J. is cursing!" I didn't really give it much thought because I hear that sentence about 100 times a day. Then he says, in a whisper mind you, while looking around secretly, "He said the F word, the B word and the D word." Now, I'm holding back a giggle. THEN he says, "Here, I wrote it down for you." He handed me his workbook, and this is what I saw....

I very nearly wet my pants! I literally had to step out into the hall so that I wouldn't laugh in his face. Then, naturally I RAN to Dori's room to share! I shared it with nearly every adult I saw this afternoon.

Later, I told my son the story and showed him the book. Leave it to the genius to point out things I didn't notice. He said, "Well, he has the right number of letters for each word. And, he has at least two letters right in each word." Hmmm, let's see, the f and u, b and t, and d and c. Yup, you're right! Then my son says, "So, I guess he's at the top of your class, huh?" Little smart ass!

Last week I read a book to my kids called The Incredible Shrinking Teacher. There's a part that mentions the principal and shows him in his office. Imagine my delight when I turned the page and saw this part of the illustration:

I couldn't believe my eyes! Too funny! Gee, maybe I can cross-stitch one of those before school ends so I can leave The Big Cheese a parting gift. NOT!

I could continue with Day 3 of my rant, but I just got home from my last Parents' Club meeting (which I completely forgot about until another executive board member called me at 5:30!) so I'm ready to hit the sack. Plus, I want to end on a positive note - tomorrow is the last day! OK, well, sort of. I'll be out Friday and Monday, which I've already told some of my parents today, so I don't think I'll be seeing any of my kids again after tomorrow. However, I know the report cards won't be ready tomorrow, which means someone will have to come back next week to get them, so maybe I'll see them. Who knows!

Wait! So much for ending on a positive. I just remembered something I had to complain about, although it has nothing to do with school. The weather reports are all saying we'll be hitting temps in the freakin' 90s tomorrow. 90s!!! I'm already pissed off and crabby about it! Is it too early to see if the air conditioner works? Smileygirl and KBL, you both can have that hot, uncomfortable, icky weather, like you love so much out there in Cali. I'll take a Chicago winter anytime over that nonsense!

Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather. ~John Ruskin

Little does John know...all of those can happen in the same hour here in Chicago!! Reminds me of another one of my favorite quotes - "If you don't like the weather in Chicago, wait 5 minutes!" It's funny cuz it's true!

Happy Birthday, Baby Brother!!

I can't believe I forgot to mention earlier that today is my baby brother's birthday. He turned 33 today. 33 on the 3rd. Is that a Double Golden birthday? Does everyone out there celebrate "golden birthdays," or is it just something we do in our family? Just in case it is, your golden birthday is when your age matches your birth date. My golden birthday was when I turned 8, as was my sister's. My brother's first golden birthday obviously was when he turned 3, but does 33 count twice? Anyway, we all went out for dinner, then headed over to the bar (of course!) to sing Happy Birthday and have cake. The kids liked being there, but my mom was being grumpy with them, and told them they had to stay in the kitchen :( We didn't stay very long, probably about half an hour. I pulled the same thing on him he did to me. I turned the music off, and had everyone in the bar sing to him. Then my nieces served cake to the entire bar. (That would be when "grandma was being mean.")

Happy Birthday, my favorite brother!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

Still seething...

...about the prick that calls himself the principal. Plus, this morning, as Dori and I were talking in my room, he comes in and tells us that we can't make Thursday the last day for kindergarten! WTF!?!? Someone make up my mind! It was the office that came to US and said "the 5th will be your last day." We already told the parents, I spent the weekend running to three different dollar stores to get supplies for the craft we're making, I ordered custom cupcakes from Sam's Club, and then Asswipe decides we can't make that our last day! He made some comment about our attendance being affected, which is a bunch of horse shit, since the fucking office changes the attendance anyway! (I think I may have ranted about that once before.) After swearing and venting with Dori, I figured I'd better wait til the end of the day before making any rash decisions.

My first reaction was to send a letter home saying that ALL the festivities for Thursday were being cancelled, and that the kids should just come everyday until the 13th, like everyone else. By the end of the day, Dori and I decided that we aren't going to do anything. We're going to leave everything alone, let the parents still think Thursday is the last day, and just go from there. We can't officially say the words "Thursday is the last day," but we can certainly imply it! What's he gonna do, fire us!? Dori already has a new job (lucky her!) and God willing, so will I soon! Oh, did I mention that I told the clerk on my way out that I would be taking a personal day on Friday? I already am taking Monday off, since that's the day my son graduates, so I'll be enjoying a four-day weekend. I'm 99% sure I'll be taking Tuesday off, too, because I'd like to do something special with my baby to celebrate his graduation. We'll just have to wait and see if I'm still pissed off by Tuesday. Chances are, I will be!

The only problem with taking so many days off is that I'll have less days to pack up my room. I'll be starting that tomorrow, as I finished all my report cards this afternoon. There's a big part of me that's tempted to just take the rest of the year off, now that my cards are finished. I've fulfilled my duties, so why should I show up simply to babysit? I have more than enough sick days, I certainly could take the next 5 days off. But then how would I pack up my stuff? Such a dilemma, huh? And, even though no one in the Hell-Hole would even notice, it would be incredibly unprofessional of me to take all those days off. Despite working in a freakin' zoo, I still have my own personal standards that I try to uphold. Granted, those standard have taken a serious nosedive after so many years at the Hell-Hole, but they're still light years ahead of the administration's standards!

OK, I feel a slew of swear words bubbling up again, so I'll be going now, lest I offend!!

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. --Drew Carey

I. Am. Seething!!!!

I just found out the the Big Cheese, aka the big cocksucking, prick, mother-fuckin' jagoff that I work for, gave another teacher the preschool position for next year. Fuckin' cocksucker!! The ONLY reason I've been sticking around this mother-fuckin' Hell-Hole is because I've been waiting to take over preschool. Every year, Mrs. J, the preschool teacher, said to me, "Just hold on one more year, then it's yours!" This is finally the year she's retiring, and she started pushing me to talk to the cocksucker about taking over. He's been giving me the run-around since school started, basically, and wouldn't give me a straight answer. "I'd be losing a great kindergarten teacher," was one response I got, but mostly he just hemmed and hawed. I found out today that he gave the position to another teacher, who's new this year, and whose pants he's been trying to get in all fucking year! He's such a fucking asshole!!!!!! PLUS, apparently he told her a long time ago. So why the fuck wouldn't you just tell me that, instead of keeping me twisting in the wind. FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! He just put the nail in the coffin. The rest of this week will be spent sending resumes while the kids watch movies. They only have 2 real days of school left anyway. And they're a whole other story. I almost walked out today because they were so fucking BAD today! Not to mention the fact that my room was a complete fucking disaster from having 3 differrent subs in three days. One of them rifled through my desk drawers and all the rest of my stuff, the fuckin' bitch! GOD, I AM SOOO PISSED OFF!!!! OK, I can't type the word fuckin' anymore (oh, look, I just did!) so I'm gonna go stuff this anger down my throat with some chocolate. AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! Sorry, I need one more....he's a fuckin' cocksuckin' asshole prick bastard!!!