Today in "WTF!?"

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Read the whole story here.

I found this today over at detentionslip.org which is one of my new favorite blogs. If you haven't checked it out yet over on my blogroll, you should. It's all crazy stories that are school-related. This one is just over the top!!

Email of the Day

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What Is Butt Dust?

What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?'

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, 'If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six..'

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. 'I love you so much that when you die I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window.'

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer.. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: 'How does it know it's me?'
SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. 'Please don't give me this juice again,' she said, 'It makes my teeth cough.'

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: 'Why is he whispering in her mouth?'

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, 'I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?'

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read : 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.' Concerned, James asked: 'What happened to the flea?'

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, 'Why doesn't your skin fit your face?'

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...this particular Sunday sermon.....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

Make sure you pass this one on and spread the smiles.....

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

Thanks, Carebear! This made my day!!

100th Day Celebration

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The first thing we did last Friday was read a couple of books I have for the 100th Day. Then we made our 100th Day Crowns. This is little different than the crowns we usually make, but they were still cute.

In line, on the way to the bathroom, then lunch.

The kids were supposed to bring 100 of 'something' to school on Friday for us to count and manipulate. Only about 1/2 the kids did, which was disappointing. I gave each child a 100 grid, and had them put one item in each box.

I had the kids that didn't bring anything sit together at two of the tables, and I brought them counting bears to use as a group. Amazingly, they all did really well with this. There was no fighting or arguing!

AM brought Q-tips, which didn't fit in the grid, so I made a counting mat for her.

Every year, I treat the babies to 100th Day Cookies.

These are some cute little certificates I had in my 100th Day box.

Everyone went home with one of these stickers on their shirt.

Snack time!

It's here!!!

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Wahoo!! I'm writing this on my brand spankin' new computer! My brother did a pretty good job. I now have a Toshiba Satellite L505. I've never heard of it before, but so far, it seems pretty nice. It has a built in webcam, so look out! There may be some video posts a-comin'!

I'm still trying to figure out all the bells and whistles, so bear with me.

OK, I've been meaning to share this with you for a couple of weeks now. It's my newest discovery. Let me back up a second. Everytime I ate sunflower seeds (which I LOVE, by the way) I always thought to myself, "Hmmm...these would be even more awesome dipped in chocolate." Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was shopping at my new favorite store, and was perusing the snack section. This caught my eye.

At first, I thought they were mini M&M-type candies. My first instinct was to grab them because I thought they would be great in cookies. When I picked up the box, I got a closer look.

Can you tell what they are yet? Allow me to show you...

I almost did a cartwheel right there in the store! You better believe I popped these babies open right in the car. They are as awesome as they sound. They're like peanut M&Ms, but with the taste of sunflower seeds, versus peanut. I took pictures today of the container I bought the other day, since the first container barely made it through the week, especially after Stud tried them. I still think they'd be incredible in cookies. That might be on this week's to-do list.

Snow's a-comin'!

We're in the middle of another major snowstorm here in Chitown. We're expected to get 8"-12" by tomorrow. It started snowing here around 4:00 this afternoon, and it hasn't stopped yet. I wonder how many of the babies will stay home tomorrow.

A long-lost Bloggy Buddy, Angela, left me comment on my last post with the most hilarious link attached. Check it out. She remember a post I did last winter, and she said this made her think of me. Thank, Angela!

Wait, did I write this?!

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I just lifted this from my Bloggy Buddy, Katy. Enjoy!

Way to follow through!

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Oh my Lord, when is the new computer going to get here!!?? Oh, yeah, that's right, I have to go pick it up. Crap! I should be doing that right now instead of sitting here on Stud's computer for a few stolen moments. I have lots of tidbits to share when I pick my computer up, including a boatload of pictures from today's 100th Day Celebration.

I just wanted to quickly share with you (before I forget, cuz my mind just ain't what it used to be!!) that after all these weeks of dealing with AM and her mom, and the daily countdown ("Only 25 days til your birthday! Only 10 days til your birthday! Only 2 days til your birthday! etc...) her mother ended up NOT SHOWING UP! She came in this morning and reminded AM yet again that she would be bringing cupcakes this afternoon, "and if you have a bad day, you're gonna watch yo frens eat cupcakes wit ow choo." Then, she didn't come back! WTF?! I sure hope she doesn't think she's gonna be bringing them on Monday. It's over, Sista!

Wait, have I even bitched, I mean, posted about this mess before? I thought I did, but I'm not seeing it. Like I said, for weeks, she's been doing this annoying countdown in the morning when she brings AM to school. The biggest problem with the countdown is that she brings AM to school late every friggin' day. By the time they get there, I've already picked the class up from the lunchroom, everyone has their things put away, and every bottom is on a square, sitting "spaghetti and meatballs"* listening to our morning read aloud. Then, the tornado known as AM and her mom come barreling through the door in the middle of the story, and mom proceeds to stand there (while I'm reading, mind you!) and loudly reminds AM about how many days til her birthday, and how she better get a good report, yadda, yadda, yadda. It's been driving me INSANE!! And, as luck would have it, her birthday happened to fall on the 100th day of school, which means we were already going to have a celebration.

I informed mom weeks ago, when she asked if she could bring cupcakes, that AM might not even be at the celebration, because the kids have to earn the privilege. OK, she says she gets it, great. Next day, she has the balls to ask me if she could bring in cupcakes AND PIZZA!!! What the hell?!!? Does this look like the damn Chuck E. Cheese's!?!? I immediately put the kibosh on that, and told her the cupcakes could be brought in at 2, which is snack time, or she could drop them off in the morning, and I would pass them out at snack time. Ok, I figured it was settled.

Apparently, mom went to New Principal earlier this week to ask HER if she could bring pizza. Look, bee-otch!! I'M the queen of this here castle, and I ALREADY said NO!!!! Luckily, New Principal also said no. I don't think she would have considered saying yes without talking to me first, anyway.

Well, you already know how the story ends. Seriously?! You make a big friggin' deal about this damn cupcakes for over a month, then you don't bring them?! I don't get it!

(Now that I've done all this bitching, I pray to God I don't find out that there was some serious reason she didn't show up. Karma, be nice to me!)

Holy crap, I'm late to pick up Stud! He's at boot camp. (Something else I'll explain when I get my computer.) Hopefully, I'll be able to write some proper posts tonight.

*"Spaghetti and meatballs" is this Dago's version of "criss-cross applesauce," or indian-style. Their legs, when folded properly, are the spaghetti, then they fold their hands together, and place them on their laps, making a giant meatball! I love it!

What a day!

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I know I haven't really been writing much about school lately. I've been jotting things down to share, and I promise to do that soon. Unfortunately, my computer completely bit the dust, which is part of the reason I haven't been writing much. However, my darling brother bought me a new laptop last night, so I hope to be back on track soon. (He owes me some money, and as luck would have it, he won a $1,000 in some raffle last week. He decided that he would split it 50/50 with me, since he also has been shopping for a laptop for himself, and took it upon himself to go computer shopping for us. He's a hell of a guy, right?) I have no idea what kind of computer he bought, or any details about it. I probably won't even get it from him for several days, and I'll probably have to drive out to his place to get it. I'm not really that excited about it yet, but I'm sure once I get it, I'll be like a kid on Christmas morning.

There was some drama at the Hell-Hole today (involving one of my TN's brothers), that brought the police there, and ended with a student and a parent being taken out in cuffs. And, surprise, surprise, one had nothing to do with the other! I'll come back later with the scary/hilarious details. but for now, Grey's Anatomy is calling my name.

Don't forget to donate to St. Baldricks!!!!

It's St. Baldrick's time again!! Woo hoo!

Once again, Stud Muffin will be participating in the St. Baldrick's event at his school. Like last year, he will be shaving his head in honor of Katie Gerstenberger. You can read more about Katie on her mom's blog, Gberger.

Go here to read the post from last year, which explains more about St. Baldrick's.

I know times are tough for everyone, but please, give what you can. This is such a worthy cause. I'm fairly certain that every one of my readers has been touched by cancer in some way. Let's do what we can to help find a cure.

Stud's goal this year is $2,000. We may actually be upping that later, as he raised more than that last year. (Last year, we started with a goal of $1,000, and in the first 2 days, he was able to raise $500, so we changed it to $2,000) I believe he raised around $2,300 last year, and was the top fund-raiser at his school. He's hoping to do that again. And, I know with the help of my Bloggy Buddies, he will! (I will be putting a Shout Out list up again this year. Hope to see you there!)

You can click HERE to make a donation on-line (or click on the link on my sidebar.) You can also download and print a paper form if you'd rather donate that way.

Thank you, in advance, for your help and generosity!

Picture-palooza!

I can't believe I haven't posted this little gem yet! Last week, one of my little darlings came back from art class with this drawing. Guess what jumped right off the page at me? (I think it will enlarge if you click on it.)

What? You don't see it yet? Let me zero in on what I'm talking about...

WTF?!?! Of course, I HAD to ask the artist what this was, and his answer was, "A horse!" In my head I was asking, "Well, what part of the horse exactly?!" but out loud I just said, "Really?" He told me that this was the horse's nose and head. Um....ok....moving on....

Last Thursday, we had a math lesson that involved making patterns using craft sticks. This group had a lot of fun with this on the carpet.

Here are the little geniuses. How adorable are they!?

New Principal personally brought me a "big kid" to babysit that day. So, I put him to work, playing Chutes and Ladders with a group.

The babies love playing with dominoes. I keep waiting for them to get bored with them, but not so much yet.

This group learned to play Go Fish with me that afternoon. We started with some flashcards that had half the cards with numerals and half the cards with groups of objects. We matched those up first, then used the cards to play Go Fish.

After the group finished making craft stick patterns, I told them they could do whatever they wanted with the sticks, and this is what they came up with. Too cute!!

My little TN decided he wanted to join this group, and REALLY got into this activity.

They covered the entire rug, tracing every shape and curve.

I was really impressed with how much detail went into this little project.

A couple of the "artists" hard at work.

This was TN's crowning glory. The rest of the group was so excited about him covering the hand. It made me laugh out loud!

Ok, I know you've had enough, but I promised them I would take a picture of the WHOLE thing, so since I did, you're forced to look at it!

Here's my little darling, TN. Look at that face! Isn't he just beautiful?! I love this "little monster!!"*

Here are the snowmen we made yesterday. Suz, aren't you excited about how we recycled those packing peanuts!? These turned out really cute. Oh, and Suz, we used lids from Cool Whip, sour cream and yogurt containers for the babies to trace the circles for their snowmen.

*In case missed this post the other day, New Principal referred to my darling TN as a "little monster," which pretty much PISSED ME OFF!