- Last Friday-All day field trip with the babies to The Museum of Science and Industry. Walked about 45 miles. Dragged Stud Muffin with me since he was off.
- Friday afternoon/evening-Had the WORST plantar fasciitis attack ever, almost went to the emergency room. Poor Stud had to take care of me, Ace bandaged bags of ice to my foot, brought me drugs, etc.
- Saturday-Worked my usual 37 hours at the bar
- Sunday-spent the day hanging out with my parents and my brother. Went to dinner, then back to my parents' and played Wii all night (Did I mention that we bought my mom a Wii, plus Wii Fit and Wii Play, for Mother's Day?) It was an awesome time. I could hardly move by the end of the night because we were laughing so much and so hard, that my sides were cramping! My dad swearing at the game pushed us over the edge!
- Monday (Memorial Day) spent the afternoon with my best friend, then back to my parents' for a while.
- Tues-Thurs-The usual craziness that is the Hell-Hole! (Just don't have the strength for specifics right now)
- Friday-Went back to the museum, but had a much smaller group (the ones that couldn't behave last Friday were NOT invited this time!) and I had my favorite mom, Mrs. G, come as a chaperone. I made Stud come again, too, since he finished school on Thursday. Yeah, he hates me....
- Friday night-Had to freakin' work at the bar since our bartender is out of town. 'Nuff said.
- Today-Was woken up early by a(n unnecessary!) phone call, drove Stud and The Girl to the museum (yes, seriously! There is a Harry Potter Exhibit going on, and The Girl is obsessed with Harry Potter.) drove around for a couple of hours delivering Pampered Chef orders, went shopping for Spirit Week next week with my babies, and now doing laundry. I'm waiting to switch loads because my "work" clothes are in the washer! The twenty minutes it's taken me to type out this post is the only twenty minutes I've had to sit down today. Quite frankly, I should be in the shower right now. So, on that note....
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more":
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
I'm still working on #3 (thanks, CSJ!) #10 rocks! #13 is one I need to remember. Sadly, so is #14. I've always tried to keep #37 in the forefront of my mind, although I'd be lying if I said I was 100% successful with that. #40 is pretty good, too. Hell, they're all good, obviously! That's why I'm sharing!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
This past week or so has had me on such an emotional roller coaster regarding the Hell-Hole. I can't really write about it right now, as I'm far too comfortable lying on the couch. I realize that doesn't make much sense, but I need to be sitting properly at a desk or table to really "write." About all I can do in this position is read other people's blogs and check my email. So, I'll have to come back later to share what's been going on. And, I have some pictures to post, including some of Stud, since I've had several requests to see how his hair has grown in since the St. Baldrick's Day event.
We are down to the last 10 school days, and part of my emotional turmoil is that I'm already starting to miss the babies. Crazy, I know, since we're still in school, but I really love them. This has been one of the best classes I've ever had, and I'm really going to miss them.
OK, well, I was really just checking in, hoping my "peeps" haven't completely written me off. Happy Hump Day!
Friday, May 22, 2009
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young Mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions,' he observed.
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Let's go pick up Peter and Willie from school and go get dinner.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye...
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
4.. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
9.. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."
12.. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.
Too cute! Thanks, Dad!
Monday, May 18, 2009
What are your current obsessions?
- Counting down to the last day of school! (Sorry, just tryin' to keep it real!)
- Dancing with the Stars (I just watched the first night of the finale. Go Gilles!!)
- At the sad state that I'm in these days, whatever I can squeeze my fat ass into! :(
- I tend to wear my black sweats a LOT (I change into them as soon as I get home from school.)
- An old pair of Stud Muffin's slide-on sandal-y things. They are the ONLY thing that helps relieve the mind-numbing pain of my plantar fasciitis.
- Burrito Bowls all around at Chipotle
- Rainbow Cones all around at the ORIGINAL Rainbow Cone (only my ChiTown friends will understand this one. To the rest of you I say, "SOOO sorry you aren't lucky enough to live here!!!")
What are you listening to these days?
- I have EVERY radio I own tuned to WLIT. I guess I'm kinda a loser that way.
- In the shower, I listen to these great mix CDs that my brother made me.
- Hands down - #1 Lion King
- So many others, I can't even list them. ANYTHING Disney, for sure
- OK, I know this is lame, but my hammock in my backyard
- Saugatuck, MI (where I take Stud and his best friends every year)
- I know I should probably say my parents' villa, but eh, I don't know. It's beautiful and all, but I seriously can NOT take the heat. Especially since air conditioning is almost non-existent there!! :( (KBL, you and BelovED should seriously spend some time there. My mother would LOVE to have you, and it's in a part of Italy you haven't visited yet!)
- My usual pile of magazine subscriptions
- I've started buying my summer books, so I can't wait to dive in to them. I hope I actually get to read them this summer, since sadly, the pile I bought LAST summer went unread. I got to spend my summer vacation bustin' my ass at the bar!!! Well, not THIS summer, God willing!
- obese (hmmm....think these last two are related?!)
- ANYTHING chocolate!! Currently it's the Dove ice cream bars in my freezer and the chocolate peanut butter cups from WalMart. They are AMAZING!! (Gee, remind me again why I'm obese these days.....)
- Stud Muffin (he has such a quick wit, he kills me!)
- My babies at school
- My family, in general, is hysterical. When we get together, we all laugh until we can't breath. My sides are usually sore the next day, seriously.
- Definitely my lilac bush blooming. I wait all year for it!
- I have no idea, since I can't even fathom having any free time. I've been working 7 days a week for so long now, I wouldn't even know what to do with a day off.
- Stud has already been bugging me about Michigan, since he wants to bring The Girl this time, so that'll probably be our first trip.
- My best friend just sent me an interesting email over the weekend about some killer deals to Ireland. I've never had one iota of interest in going to Ireland, but the deal is seriously killer, and hey, it's not HERE!
- Ate-go up to #3!
- Drank-I've been a bit obsessed with Mike's Hard Lemonade lately
- I can't even remember. Despite spending most of my free time in a bar, I'm not much of a drinker. I know I JUST said I've been obsessed with Mike's lately, but I'm talking about 1 every two weeks or so. I'm very much a light-weight in the drinking department.
- Comedy - Coming to America (I wore out 2 VHS tapes before I bought it on DVD!)
- Musical - Singing in the Rain
- Kid's Movie - The Lion King
- There are way too many others to finish this list!!
- I love the quote at the top of my page - "All children are gifted. Some just open their presents later than others."
- The greatest gift you can give your children, after your love, is discipline. A spoiled child is hard-pressed to be a productive, responsible adult later in life. Teach your child that there are limits and boundaries in life. Teach him to work hard and take pride in his work. Teach him to be responsible and accept the consequences of his actions. Teach him to make smart choices. Teach him to respect himself and his body. Teach him to be a kind, caring, compassionate person, and to treat all people with respect.
- OK, I'm going to have to stop there, cuz I'm making even myself sick!
- Since opening the bar, I have become one hell of an awesome martini-maker! I suppose that sounds a bit conceited, but I have customers tell me ALL the time that they prefer my martinis to my brother's, (which TOTALLY pisses him off, by the way!!) and that makes me think I might know a thing or two about mixology.
- Desperate Housewives
- Brothers & Sisters
- Dancing with the Stars
- Ugly Betty
- Grey's Anatomy (Thankfully, all of these are ABC shows, so I can watch them online when I have the time. Usually that's how I spend my Sunday afternoons. I know, I'm a loser!)
- That Girl - her blogs cracks my ass up!! Especially since she's joined TMI Thursday!
- The Girl Next Door - I don't know how she does it. Living next door to her ex, that is!
- C - I don't even know what to say about her, other than we have a very serious blog-mance going!!
- Tiffany - I discovered her blog fairly recently, and I love it. You should check out the awesome journey she's been on, as well as the one that lies ahead...
- Smiley Girl - I love her like a sister, and hey, KBL didn't tag her first, so she's all mine!
- JLo - We were destined to be friends since we both married men with the same last name...
- Jason - I LOVE THIS MAN! I actually found JLo through his blog. He's a fellow teacher, and never ceases to crack me up!
- Dana - She and her beloved are planning their upcoming nuptials (they have a separate blog all about it!) She has a renewed love of ChiTown ever since we met up a few months ago. Right, Girlfriend?! :)
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
I posted about Stud's new bed. You can see by those photos that my poor son has a room that's about the size of most people's closets. I have the typical Chicago bungalow. That means it's very small. I have 3 bedrooms, but they're all small. I kid you not, my entire house would fit in my classroom, which isn't saying very much :(
I mentioned in one of my "pretend" posts this past week that Stud was sick. Apparently, while I was typing that last real post, he was over at The Girl's house, not feeling well. His father picked him up from there, so I never saw him that night. The next morning I get a frantic call from CSJ telling me that Stud is sick. (For those who are new here, or have a memory like mine, CSJ=Cocksucking Jagoff=my ex-husband, AKA-The Sperm Donor.) The first thing he shrieked at me when I answered the phone at 6am was that Stud was sick, and he just "coughed up a yellow golf ball!" Yeah, nice, right? Apparently, at some point the day before, my son saw the school nurse, who told him he had an upper-respiratory infection. Well, Father-of-the-Year decided he needed to rush him to the doctor's office. He bullied his way (literally!) into being seen, and turns out Stud was diagnosed with severe bronchitis and a sinus infection. He was given two different prescriptions and sent on his merry way. CSJ actually took the rest of the day off to stay home with him. Naturally, he wanted a fuckin' medal for it, too! Who the hell does he think took care of Stud for the past 15 1/2 years?! This is the FIRST time he's EVER taken ANY time off because his son was sick. But, to hear him tell it, he should be given an award! Ugh!
OK, I'm already boring myself with this story, so suffice it to say, I ended up taking Wed-Fri off to stay home with Stud. I knew I'd have to take Thursday off, since Stud needed to go back for a follow-up visit smack in the middle of the day. Wednesday, he was still really feeling lousy, so I'm glad I stayed home with him. Friday, well Friday was just a little bonus. The doctor told me Thursday that Stud couldn't return to school until Monday, so I figured, what the heck, I'll stay home with him. I also may or may not have been having a Pampered Chef party Friday night, and I may or may not have needed some extra time to clean, shop and cook.
The Pampered Chef party was a freakin' blast!! I wish you could have all come. My PC lady is an old friend, and she loves doing shows for me because I own everything in the catalog. She never really has to bring anything with her, other than whatever new items have come out since my last party. I am a bit obsessed with PC. I used to be a consultant, I love it so much. But, then I threw CSJ out, and needed to get a "real" job to support myself and my baby. But, I still have shows every 6 months, as that's when the new items come out. Every March and September, like clockwork! I'm able to get the new things for free, so it's awesome!
The past couple of years, the PC parties have turned into drunken kitchen fests, much to my PC friend's dismay, I'm sure! But, making a pitcher of martinis is such a GREAT way to show off the Quick-Stir Pitcher! This party was no exception. This time it was a pitcher of mango martinis, which happens to be one of our top-selling martinis here at the bar. Yummy!!
The last drunken fool, I mean friend, left around 2:30am. It was a great party! I can't wait to do it again. It'll be sometime in September, so if any of you are going to be visiting Chicago in September, let me know!! ;-)
Last weekend was a busy one at the bar. It's almost a good thing that my party kept me up so late on Friday night, because I slept in Saturday, and was more rested than usual by the time I got to the bar. Usually, I'm up around 6:30ish on Saturdays, so by Saturday night, I'm dying. When I get home at 6am on Sunday morning, I've usually been up for nearly 24 hours.
Anyway, Saturday was a busy night, then we had another private party on Sunday (3rd one in a month!) which went later than we had hoped. Instead of getting home in time to watch Desperate Housewives, I didn't even pick Stud up at his grandma's until nearly 10:30. Then, the real fun began...
I was about 1/2 mile from home, approaching the major intersection near my home, when I decided I was too hungry to go to sleep and that I was going to get Arby's. As I was moving into the left-turn lane, I hit a freakin' crater the size of the Grand Canyon!!! (If you aren't lucky enough to live here in ChiTown, you may not be aware of our pothole situation.) INSTANTLY, my tire was gone! I thought I was going to wet my pants. Luckily, I was able to get back over, out of the turning lane, and proceed through the intersection. I turned into the shopping center on the corner, and got out to survey the damage. I can NOT believe I didn't take a picture to share with you! My rim looked like a pie that someone had cut a slice out of! I didn't know what the heck to do at first. We could have easily walked home, as it was only about 6 blocks, but I was afraid to leave my car in the Lowe's parking lot. I figured with my luck, it would be towed.
I called my daddy, of course, but he was already in bed. I told my mom not to bother him, and then called my sister. I thought maybe her boyfriend was around. In the meantime, my mom completely disregarded my request, and got my dad out of bed. At some point, Stud Muffin said he thought maybe he could change the tire himself. I figured, what the heck, it's better than just standing here, right? Plus, once I knew my dad was coming, I figured he could talk Stud through it. Next thing I know, my sister calls to say that she and her boyfriend are on their way. I tried to call my dad to tell him to stay home, but he had already left. He pulled in the lot as I was talking to my mom. (My parents only live about 20 blocks from me.)
By the time my dad got there, Stud and I had gotten the spare and the jack out of the trunk, so my dad put the jack under the car, and Stud started pumping. A few minutes later, my sister arrives, and her boyfriend takes over. He was having a hell of a time getting the tire off because the bolts were sort of rusted on, but it wasn't anything he couldn't handle. (Did I mention that her boyfriend is about 6'6", 330+lbs, ex-football player? Yeah, picture the dad from The Incredibles, and that's him. Literally. He looks exactly like him.)
The tire is loose now, but Mr. Incredible notices that the car still really isn't off the ground, despite the fact that Stud has been going at it for about 10 minutes. He looks over and freaks. Apparently, my dad hadn't placed the jack where it belonged, and instead of lifting the car, Stud managed to jack the car frame up into a lovely divot! I thought I was gonna lose it! How the HELL did he not see what he was doing?!?! Ughhhh!!! Of course, my dad took full responsibility, but still, come on! Pay attention to what you're doing!!
Mr. Incredible lowered the jack, sort of fixed the frame (he pulled down on the fiberglass, which is now completely unattached, but the dent is hardly noticeable!!) and took the tire off. He got the donut on, only to realize that it had no air. Of course! But, don't despair, I have an air compressor in the trunk. (I had a slow leak in one of my tires for years. I used to have to pump it up at least once a week!) He hooks it up, lets it run for a few minutes, and says we're good to go. We were going to go across the street to the gas station to fill it up properly.
Everyone gets back in their cars, we start to pull away, and my dad starts beeping like crazy to tell me the tire is flat. WTF!!? We figure the only thing to do is try to make it across the street. We make a caravan with my sister in front, me in the middle, and my dad in the rear. All three of us had our flashers on, and basically went about 5 mph to the gas station. If you've been paying attention, you'll know that the story can't end that easily, right? We make it over to the air compressor, only to find out that they remove the damn hose at night!! REALLY!?!? I seriously almost started crying.
The decision was made to try and just take our caravan down the main street to the next gas station, which was about a mile up the street. Picture that, will ya? We finally made it, Mr. Incredible filled the tire, and we were on our way. My dad followed me to his house, both of us still going about 10 mph with our flashers on, so that I could get my mom's car, as I certainly didn't want to be driving to the ghetto the next day on a donut! By the time my head hit the pillow, it was nearly 1am! I was already feeling sorry for my babies the next day.
The next day, I call my mom from school to let her know I was on my way to pick her up so I could drop my car off at my mechanic's. Stud had Anime Club for an hour after school, so I figured we had plenty of time. I get to my mom's, she gets in her car, I get in mine, and we take off. I didn't want to take any chances, so I put the flashers on, and tried not to go over 15-20 mph. Trust me, it was not appreciated by my fellow drivers. We were very nearly there when suddenly I HIT ANOTHER FUCKING POTHOLE!!!!!!
The tire instantly went flat. AGAIN! Luckily, I was about 20 feet from an entrance to a strip mall, so I pulled in, and called my mechanic. Through my sobs, I told him what happened. He tried to calm me down (the poor guy!) and said I should just keep driving, real slow, to the garage. I told him the tire was completely flat and his answer was, "Fuck it, it's the donut, who cares?" So, I managed to turn around, go back out onto the busy main street, and I literally idled for about 3 miles. The whole time, I could hear the metal of the rim grinding into the ground. It's a good thing I never even hit 10 mph because I could hardly see through my tears.
In case you've fallen asleep, we're still on Monday, folks. About an hour and a half after I got home, Billy, my mechanic from Heaven, called to tell me he was done! He was able to pound out my rim, and the donut's rim, and everything was hunky dory! But, I need to get new wheel covers as the one on the flat had been destroyed (plus about a month ago, I was hit by a kid, and it ruined my back cover) so he was going to get me a set of 4 new covers. He said they would be there the next day. Yay! When all was said and done, the whole ordeal cost me less than $80. I know, I can't believe it, either. Oh, and Stud ended up getting picked up by The Girl's mom, as there was NO WAY I was going to make it to his school in time. He was thrilled, to say the least ;-)
Maybe now you have a little insight into why I felt the need to post on Monday about what made me smile that day. It was truly a day from hell! As much as I'd love to fill you in on the rest of the week, I'm afraid I've lost all of you at this point, so I'm going to take a bit of a break. Plus, I stole a martini recipe from TGIFriday's the other day that I'm dying to try, so maybe after I drink it (!) I'll type a little more! (You've all been given fair warning!)